don't agree with my maternity nurse - what do you think?

[Madigan]

My maternity nurse insists on waking my DD for a 10pm feed. DD is 3.5 weeks old. Her early evening feed is at 6.30-7pm.

When I am on my own, I leave DD until she wakes, which is normally about 11pm, and then feed her and then she wakes again once during the night (say 3pm-4pm). Both times she wakes, she is hungry and feeds well.

Whereas my maternity nurse likes to wake her at 10pm, and she is not as hungry so the time is spent poking and prodding her to stay awake, and then she will wake for 2 more feeds - say 2pm, and 6am.

I do not see the benefit in waking her at 10pm for a feed - but of course I could be completely wrong

grateful for any comments .... thanks!!

She has been reading SWSNBN.

Your baby, your rules!!

Tbh I can't see the point either and I really do think you have to go with your instincts when it comes to your baby. Have you asked her why she thinks it is necessary?

Your baby = your rules!

Tell your maternity nurse that your baby is not to be woken at 10pm. You and your baby seem to have it sussed .

Congratulations by the way

you are right imo. silly to wake her.surely the maternity nurse is your employee, so yo tell her how yowant to dothings?

OK I know NOTHING about formula feeding (which I assume you are doing) but I'm not sure it really makes a great deal of difference. As long as the maternity nurse is happy with her "night shift" and the baby isn't crying, is it really a problem?

she is your baby, so what you say goes!

i really don't like this idea that babies this young can be gotten into a predictable routine

let her feed when she is hungry , not when her nurse thinks she is.

you call the shots, not the nurse. if you disagree on something as fundamental as feeding, then it might make things tricky.

you can feed FF babies on demand

also, the trouble with establishing a routine at this early age, is that it is almost impossible, and likely to change frequently

sorry - I am BF - so (perhaps selfishly?) I would prefer to get up only once in the night ....

I have asked my maternity nurse for an explanation ... but I don't really understand her reasoning - but she is really lovely and I don't want to offend her, and I have a feeling that she always does it this way, and has years of experience, so is a bit affronted that I am challenging her methods!

I have asked her not to wake baby tonight - so we'll see how we get on.

lulumama - I do agree with you .... I prefer to feed DD when she is hungry, and to me it just seems silly to wake a sleeping baby in order to feed her at a set time ...

so will stick to my guns on this one.

sorry , i presumed you were FF

you should feed more in the night, to start with as that is when you boost supply most, and get it really established, due to increased prolactin levels

definitely, definitely should BF on demand, not to a time frame

I agree with everyone.

Maternity nurse is your employee, not advisor. You're the boss.

sounds like your DD is doing remarkably well at 3.5 weeks on her own - 11pm then 3 or 4am is fantastic imo!
You are the boss, tell your maternity nurse what you want for your DD.

I wouldn't and if you don't want to nobody should wake your dd

lulumama - if I am meant to feed more at night ... and she only wakes at 11pm and 3am ... does that mean that I should in fact be waking her, in order to feed her more?? Now I am confused!

no, not at all , if she only wakes to feed twice a night, and your supply is established, then that is great, but if she does things differently when not woken, then you should let her call teh shots, and feed as and when.. that way your body and your baby get in sync.

imo the only time you should wake a bf baby to feed is if they aren't putting on enough weight...

Def sounds like a GF devotee. She wants you to do something with your own baby that isn't right for you or baby, and doesn't know why??

and my baby is putting on loads of weight - 11oz in the last week!!!!

I had to wake DS for feeds when he was v new, jaundiced and losing weight. This is not the case for your DD, sounds like you are both doing well. Let sleeping babies lie I say

As you ask. Your baby - and she is your employee so there should be no discussion or disagreement.

I let both dd's wake when they wanted to eat. Tried to wake DD2 every 3 hrs in the day, but if she was asleep that was that. Left her in the night. What's the dif between 10 and 11??? Would think it best to leave til 11 and feed well than 10 and poking.

Why do you have a Maternity Nurse?? Does she live with you all the time??

Am I alone in finding that strange???

Sounds like you are doing really well - do you know about the Gina Ford methods of rearing babies to routines? We all like routines but Ford's can be interpreted EXTREMELY literally and it seems an approach that maternity nurse's favour. Not sure what the extent of your contract is, but it sounds like you are doing a fab job so just keep doing what you are doing!

I had this with mine and totally agree with everyone else, your baby ergo you know best, the time frame between feeds that she is following is not extreme so where's the problem?
My dd did a similar thing and sometimes went until 12, IM(very)HO, you are completely right and if she wakes naturally she will have a more successful feed.

Congratulations!

sounds like you're doing great!

lift baby if you think it helps (eg if that's when you go to bed anyway or if it stops baby waking twice in the night) otherwise don't bother

the thing no-one really spells out is that it's an art not a science...do what feels best for you and enjoy!

BoM - I don't even know what a maternity nurse is so assumed it was a HV (or foreign equivalent).

Me too Wisteria, no idea, hence list of questions. Sounds like someone living in telling you what to do and when to do it.
Would personally drive me mad, like having MIL there and having to pay her

Not a criticism of anyone who has one btw. AT ALL.