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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

I've just been to the most bizarre party

36 replies

hotcrumpets · 09/09/2007 19:45

Where i was told amongst other things that

Breastfeeding would cause DS to have reflux

That it's all well and good saying breast is best but in reality you can't actually feed a baby properly by breastfeeding

That you can't feed him again you only fed him 15 mins ago (see I said that you can't feed a baby purely breastmilk)

Said woman then asked if she could hold DS and started cooing "ah you want a bottle don't you" when he started to cry

Ah isn't he tiny, well yes he is he's only 3wks old and no actually he isn't that tiny he's put on 2lbs since he was born and didn't even lose anything after birth

DP got me out of there as soon as possible I think he thought I was going to explode.

I'm not sure if I should be angry, feel sorry for her, or just be bloody amazed.

What shocked me most is the other women sitting around nodding at this crap, I felt like I was in a parallel bloody universe.

OP posts:
Original poster
hotcrumpets · 09/09/2007 19:46

This is the same party that I posted about a while back as my friend had said that she know we would have the baby by then and would I mind feeding him upstairs as her parents wouldn't like breastfeeding in front of them.

She wasn't bloody wrong they don't like it

OP posts:
elliek · 09/09/2007 19:48
Shock
HonorMatopoeia · 09/09/2007 19:48

How old was she? Could it be a generational thing?
No excuse mind you, it's not wise to thrust your 'views' on anyone.

donnie · 09/09/2007 19:48

ask her if she wants a quick suck! that ought to shut her up....

runnyhabbit · 09/09/2007 19:48

wtf?

these women are obv from another planet.....

snowleopard · 09/09/2007 19:49

I would have squirted the lot of them.

Original poster
hotcrumpets · 09/09/2007 19:51

It was about 3 of them

The first one to start it was about 50, but then the other two were kind of nodding along and agreeing.

I walked off when they started going on about how it was wrong to still let your lo bf past 1yr and if they wanted to suck that much they should be given a dummy, i really couldn't believe my ears

OP posts:
beansprout · 09/09/2007 19:53

Not what you need, and especially not at 3 weeks! Shame on them for being so ignorant.

Original poster
hotcrumpets · 09/09/2007 20:00

beansprout, I know that is what I thought. I fed DD till she was about 2 though, so I am fairly confident with it all, but not sure how I would of felt if I was new to it all or having difficulties.

TBH it has made me feel as if nothing anybody does is going to help BF rates in this country etc it just feels as if we are up against a brick wall. I mean I go to La Leche etc and support all the work the fab BF councillors do and try to spread the positive experiences I have had etc but then you meet people like this and just think, is it really making any difference at all?

Sorry for typos, am bf and typing at same time!

OP posts:
theUrbanDryad · 10/09/2007 18:26

hotcrumpets - did you say anything to them? i only ask because my MIL used to come out with this sort of shite, and i used to say, "Well, acksherlly," and put my lactivist's hat on, and set her straight! i recently heard her talking on the phone to one of her Tory Surreyite mates and she was going, "And of course "Urban" is still breastfeeding, and she's going to let "ds" self-wean...i know...it's lovely isn't it? so much better than formula milk..." (this is the woman who tried to get me to give ds a bottle when he was 6 weeks as "You've done quite enough now, dear!")

so views can be changed!

mind you, she asked me when i was going to get ds "off" me the other day...he's 8 months ffs!!

StealthPolarBear · 10/09/2007 20:27

"That it's all well and good saying breast is best but in reality you can't actually feed a baby properly by breastfeeding "
amazing all these bf babies have survived isn't it?

Pruners · 10/09/2007 20:29

Message withdrawn

bobsmum · 10/09/2007 20:38

I agree with UrbanDryad.
Views can be changed!

Every time my mum came up with her guff about bottle feeding, I answered her questions, set her straight and carried on.

I did this all through b/f ds for 17 months.

So, interestingly, when I had dd, I had hardly any nonsense - if anything I had support for the first time - with being told to look after myself/offered cushions/seeking out comfy coffee shops etc etc.

My mum's an educated woman, but in the 70s when I was born bottle feeding was genuinely seen as 'modern" and "advanced" whereas breastfeeding (in her words) was something the hippies did.

She doesn't say that anymore, because she's read the stats herself in every news report over the last ten years.

But it's generational and in the west of SCotland where I am - it's cultural too - mums just don't breastfeed here. Only 5% of babies are still breastfeeding by 6months in the UK! In my hospital when I had dd, 20% of the mums breastfed their newborns and most of them gave up in the first 2 weeks

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago a neighbour's daughter was struggling with b/f and my mum actually phoned me up to ask for breastfeeding advice to pass on!! so I'm changing opinions very very slowly, but it's happening

With no3 baby I'll be breast feeding all over the place with so much more confidence.

Just be strong, but sensitive - some people really have never been told that breast feeding is normal.

startouchedtrinity · 10/09/2007 20:40

Why did you go to the party?

moondog · 10/09/2007 22:17

Fucking idiots.
Do you socialise with these losers by choice?

My best was a mother at a baby group announcing, as she saw another woman reaching under her top to unclup her bra to feed her bawling baby

'You see,that's what is so great about bottle feeding.They can getto the bottle with no faffing.'

Wtf????

quint · 10/09/2007 22:23

I would have loved for someone to say something to me when I was breastfeeding. Not the very 1st time - then I was nervous of any reactions, but once I got confident.

The closest I got was in Bluewater and someone gave me a dirty look, I stared back at her in (what I thought) was a challenging way and she just walked past me - shame, I'd have loved the fight!

StealthPolarBear · 10/09/2007 22:27

Would you have put your baby down first?

quint · 10/09/2007 22:30

OOh no - carried on BF of course

Jackstini · 10/09/2007 22:35

HC - what a load of tw*ts. Not surprised you were going to explode - would love to ask them where on earth they get this shite info from - go on - put them on the spot the numpties!
I would be angry and feel sorry for her

quint · 10/09/2007 22:41

Also be good to ask them what exactlyu they think boobs are for? and why do they produce milk - do they think that all calves/lambs/in fact all mammals should be prevented from drinking their mothers milk as its exactly the same thing - we are after all animals!

fishie · 10/09/2007 22:41

good post bobsmum.

hotcrumpets, i didn't go anywhere for months. the dread of dealing with such grot as a novice mother...

determination · 10/09/2007 22:48

you should make it well clear that you are well wducated when it comes to "baby feeding" and that you will be feeding him through the school gates at break times! Thats the attitude it took to shut the big mouths up that ranted to me

Dior · 10/09/2007 22:49

Message withdrawn

spinspinsugar · 10/09/2007 22:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kerala · 10/09/2007 22:53

Had a similar thing at a friend's family christening. The very grand grandmother told me I would "be wanting a private room" to bf in. Err no that would entail spending all afternoon sitting by myself in the spare bedroom as dd was at the feeding all afternoon stage.

My aunt had a MIL with similar attitudes and was not brave enough to challenge her so had to furtively bf whenever she had to go and stay with them. IMO very posh elderly ladies are the worst...