Newborn has shredded my nipple

[SuddenArborealStop]

As above she's, 9 days old and while she caused some damage in the first few days I was able to keep feeding. The lactation consultant didn't think she had a tongue tie despite heart shaped tongue.
Once we got home from hospital it just got worse I can't get it to heal sufficiently to let her back on my right breast, the pain is unreal, just excruciating.
She has a shallow latch and I can force her to correct it on the left, though that nipple is also starting to suffer.
I tried bottles last night one of expressed milk and one of the newborn premade ones. She wouldn't take either
I'm desperate to give up already, I fed ds for five months and I wanted to give it another go but I can't face the pain. But what am I meant to do if she won't take a bottle..
The health visitor is coming today and I know they'll want me to demonstrate the latch and the thought makes me want to sob.

My BF start was very rough too, like you we had terrible latch and I couldn’t hold him properly because of EMCS recovery.
I thought I was going to lose my left nipple, it was excruciating.
What eventually helped:

Tongue tie fix
Lansinoh all the time
Very soft pads inside the bra
Feeding more on the less painful side (less than ideal)
Time - latch improved and mouth got bigger with age.

I was about to give up so many times in the early weeks, I was feeding him and crying. It got tolerable by week 6, and by week 12 it was completely fine.

Congrats on the baby OP, it will get easier as baby grows. Take care of yourself and ask for help when you need it, the early days are so tough.

The thing that saved me was breast shells from Amazon. Go inside your bra and stop it rubbing on your nipples so they can recover inbetween feeds. Look at bit Madonna, but let's face it, who cares!

I used nipple shields when the pain got bad. It still hurt at the initial latch but then was so much less painful.

No nipple confusion either, I weaned them off of the shields after a few weeks.

When I had this problem I used loads of Lanisoh, MAM compresses and got some hydrogel pads off Amazon and put them in my bra. They were amazing at providing relief for my mangled nipples.

it’s so hard and you’ve done really well to persevere this far x

I used nipple shields for a while too.

It made feeding much more comfortable and baby seemed fine feeding with or without them.

I used them for around 5 days which was long enough to heal. I didn't need them again after that.

The first few weeks is the hardest. I found that as baby got bigger her latch improved. The only way I could feed for the first few weeks was either lying on my side (that was the most comfortable) or with baby on a pillow on my lap.

Nipple shields!

Send someone to boots and tell them to get three different sizes and try them all.

Ohhhh I can remember the pain. I had 8 weeks of breastfeeding difficulty with both nipples shredded.... I would cry every time. I went everywhere for help with everyone commenting on the way I held my DD. I ended up holding her in a very unnatural position. I was concerned because she never really opened her mouth very wide or very long.... she was like a little snapping turtle. Finally it was a volunteer from la Leche league ( sorry I can’t spell it) who commented that she didn’t open her mouth properly and suggested osteopathy. I went to a paediatric osteopathy centre and they assessed her and discovered that she did not have the correct sucking motion and did not have full movement in her head ( as a result of an assisted delivery). She was treated and was 75% better after the first visit and 100% fixed after the second. Once the latch was fixed I healed pretty quickly and breastfed for a year. They also fixed a little bowel issue that we had not even discussed in the initial consultation. I am in no way “ woo” and didn’t even know what osteopathy was but I’m so grateful to that volunteer for suggesting it. Sorry if all that is unhelpful but I can remember the pain so clearly.

I used hydrogel breast pads (from amazon) between feeds which helped healing and in the mean time try and use a different position to feed while it heals.
I swapped to the rugby ball hold on the sore side which put pressure on a different area and was less painful.

I feel for you op, I was so close to giving up in the second week but it did get better and I’m still going strong 15 months later.

Be kind to yourself, OP.

As someone who went through months of round-the-clock expressing, failed tongue tie snips, and severely deformed bleeding nipples with both my DC, I would suggest you despatch your DH/mum/a friend to the shop now for formula and work on getting your DD to take a bottle. Life is too short. Bf is important but it isn't the be-all and end-all, and you sound desperate.

FWIW, I got over the initial issues with DC1, and he eventually bf for a year, but it took three months of pumping, waking up throughout the night to pump and feed, and constant agony from nipples that never healed (one is still deformed now, 7 years on) I honestly wonder if it was worth scarificing those early days. I have no happy memories of him being tiny.

With DC2, we endured the same, but only for two weeks. After her failed tongue tie snip, we switched to formula, and it was the right decision for us. I know it's purely chance, but she's also far healthier than her big brother who had a full year of breastmilk.

The most important thing is that the baby is fed. If bf isn't working, then formula is fine. It really is. I just wish I'd admitted that to myself years ago.

Good luck, and look after yourself

DH brought back nipple shields and compresses, he said there was only one size and I'm finding it hard to tell if she's getting fed around it. The nipple is quite long and she's pulling my nipple up and In to fit its shape, is that right??
She has a large haemangioma on her head and I would worry about letting an osteopath manipulate around it.

Lasinoh, warm showers and painkillers.
Try not to focus on it, distract yourself with how cute she is and try and enjoy her.

Also she will take a bottle if its perserved with so don't get too worried about that.

Does she take a soother?

That sounds ok- that's how nipple shields worked on me.

Is she shallowing?

You might be able to hear her swallowing? If not, put a finger very gently on her throat.

She pushes dummys right out of her mouth, I've tried three brands so far.

The only time she fully opens her mouth is when shes yawning, things are much easier if I can catch one.

Mine never took dummies either.

When they are this young you can make them open their mouth by tapping under their mouth.
It’s a reflex, same when you want them to close their eyes you run your finger from between their eyebrows down their nose.

I may have had a bit of fun with that while it still worked 👀

Get a second opinion on the tongue tie, and check for a lip tie too. DC3 has a lip tie, which I had never heard of before, and it caused real problems with feeding. I had fed two babies and couldn’t work out what was going wrong with this one.
You could also try someone else giving her a bottle, sometimes they are happier to take it with someone else (not always!). If you could delegate just one feed it would give your poor nipples a chance to recover.

Nipple shields, breast shells (can get silver ones, look weird, work like a charm).

What really worked for me was the health visitor showing me how to latch better - pulled his head right back (not in a sore way) and made sure mouth was really wide open.

It's awful, and the most painful thing (crying and feeding sounds familiar), but will get better. And be kind to yourself. Chocolate is very good for you.

Nipple shields helped me get through 2 painful months now breastfeeding is pain-free and wonderful.

I'll give the nipple sheilds another go, she wouldn't take the bottle off DH either unfortunately. Feel like I'm wasting the expressed milk but it needs to be done to stave off mastitis, though I think I'm heading that way as my breast is warm to the touch now
How do you actually manage if it turns out they'll only latch lying down, she has a hospital appointment on Thursday and I've no idea how I'll keep her fed and keep the sore side from exploding if we're there all day.

Mine still prefers feeding whilst lying down, it’s a tough one.

Have you tried MAM bottles? Mine is happy to switch to them when I pump.

The MAM nipple shields are good too - just make sure you get the right rise for you x

Massage you breasts, and have hot showers this helps a little if you think you might be getting mastitis

I had the same issue OP so I expressed from the damaged side for week to let it heal and then started again. Hope you heal soon 💐

You can take paracetamol. Even a small glass of wine might help you relax and is perfectly ok.

You can freeze expressed milk for six months, if that helps. Boots sell special bags.

My DD shredded my nipples on her first day, the midwives wouldn’t let me continue feeding so she had formula and expressed milk, thankfully she takes a bottle with no issues. Over the weekend, I tried feeding with nipple shields, and while they worked, she was miserable and so was I.
We’ve now gone back to expressing/ formula bottle feeding. And we are both much happier. I feel that I can enjoy her more.

OP, definitely ask the health visitor to check for a tongue tie. Two weeks after DC was born I was in agony with horrifically shredded nipples – my HV mentioned reconstructive surgery was an option! – but a friend whisked us to a breast-feeding support group run by a lovely midwife and she diagnosed the TT. DC had it fixed and almost immediately the latch was absolutely fine and we carried on BF for nine months with no issues. Good luck!

I found rubbing my nipple with some milk on it across my ds lips and nose to get him to open his mouth wider helpful.

Make sure you get as much of your breast into her mouth as you can, not just your nipple and as frustrating as it is start again if the latch isn't right.

It's hard work, breastfeeding is wonderful when it doesn't hurt. Keep on top of the lasinoh and painkillers.