Newborn has shredded my nipple

[SuddenArborealStop]

As above she's, 9 days old and while she caused some damage in the first few days I was able to keep feeding. The lactation consultant didn't think she had a tongue tie despite heart shaped tongue.
Once we got home from hospital it just got worse I can't get it to heal sufficiently to let her back on my right breast, the pain is unreal, just excruciating.
She has a shallow latch and I can force her to correct it on the left, though that nipple is also starting to suffer.
I tried bottles last night one of expressed milk and one of the newborn premade ones. She wouldn't take either
I'm desperate to give up already, I fed ds for five months and I wanted to give it another go but I can't face the pain. But what am I meant to do if she won't take a bottle..
The health visitor is coming today and I know they'll want me to demonstrate the latch and the thought makes me want to sob.

The health visitor is going to get the local lactation consultant to come to see us. I managed a lying down feed this afternoon on the bad side which is great because it was starting to get red and warm.
She's not gaining weight unfortunately so now I'm really worrying about it all. The hospital had told us she was back up to birth weight before we left which can't have been true, I'm adding that to the unfortunate long list of complaints about our care there.

I had this and it was awful, I really feel for you. The only thing that worked for me was changing her feed position so her body went under my arm and around my back rather than across chest/tummy. The relief was instant. Good luck x

Lying down feeding saved me. Either lying down with him next to me, or lying back with him draped whichever way was comfortable on top of me. Do whatever works for you. And keep slathering on the lansinoh. It is magic.

I had huge problems at the start too and my LO damaged my nipple. If you can get shields to work for you then I have used them successfully and my LO is now 9 months. She was ebf for many months and combo fed for a bit at the beginning (when bumping her weight up) and now she is over 6 months she has a nighttime bottle from daddy. It’s horrible at the time but it will get easier. A midwife showed me how to use the shields and it was a huge game changer for me. Most people wean off them but I was too lazy to revisit latching when LO was older!

@SuddenArborealStop

Try different bottles... ds didnt like tommee tippee, avent, mam ect. Refused them all.

Then borrowed a lansinoh momma bottle from a friend and boom. Happily interchanged between boob and bottle.

Dont be disheartened because baby refused a bottle the first few times. Keep trying but ask any mummy friends if you can borrow different bottles to try before you buy.

I remember the pain from DD only too well. Both of mine had a shallow latch, no tongue tie, just how they are.

With DD I was biting my own hand (really effing hard) to try and detract from the pain. A friend suggested Jelonet and it saved me. I put it on, smeared Vaseline over the top (hate Lansinoh) and the put on a breast pad (cupped ones from Sainsburys or Johnson’s, not flat ones). It’s a burn dressing so allows for healing whilst keeping the wound moisturised. I could only find it in massive pads so cut them up. You could re-use as well, just put more Vaseline or Lansinoh on top as you prefer.

It allowed me to heal so that it was excruciating and it did get better after about a week but I kept using it for another couple of weeks.

Also used nipple shields - for 2 years!

Glad you got a feed in on the sore side and it sounds like they are working - that's exactly how they looked for me

Jelonet between feeds fab too

She's now chewing the good one every feed.... I need to find her a bottle she will take and work out how to stop feeding without mastitis, I can't take any more

If you want to continue, that's fine. But if you want to stop, that's fine too. Long term, the benefits of breastfeeding are not all they have been cracked up to be.

There is so much pressure to breastfeed these days but if your baby is fed and you are happy, that is the main thing.

I don't see how an unhappy mum in huge amounts of pain is a good thing. I don't see how dreading and suffering through every feed is better for your baby.

You will always get tons of advice from people who are heavily invested in the idea of breastfeeding and who want you to continue because they did. There always seems to be less from the other side. But if you want to stop, it is fine. It doesn't make you a failure/less of a mother.

Do what feels right for you.

@SuddenArborealStop - can you pump? Nothing to stop you continuing to pump and offer expressed milk and formula for as long as you want? You could pump 3 times a day or even twice a day and supplement formula?

I exclusively pumped for first few months (variety of reasons) your supply will go down naturally but if you do two good pump sessions a day no reason why you can't continue like that for as long as you want.

That way she will get.some benetifts of bf but your nipples will be saved and shoulnt get mastitis?

Highly reccomend lansinoh bottles. Scour ebay and see if you can find single bottles to try x

P.s your doing fab! X

Oh my love, it is awful in the early days. I had a torrid time feeding no3 and was completely freaking out re feeding no4. What helped me was lots and lots of expert advice and am exit plan. My lactation consultant said give it a go for 6 weeks and you'll know by then if it is going to get better. Seconding all the wise advice, shields, those cooling compress breast pads between feeds, expressing/feeding until boob feels baggy, cabbage leaves to soothe inflammation, hot baths etc, massage. Also, have you tried the flipple technique? Gets more boob in a teeny mouth. YouTube search it. It sounds like an second opinion re tongue tie would be wise, lactation consultant should be able to help with that. And finally, once baby takes a bottle, don't beat yourself up. You're a hero taking on this battle, and your wellbeing is much much more important than breastfeeding.

I'm only managing an oz for a half an hour pumping, I get about the same in the haakaa from my let down. I never managed to pump much on my first either it just doesn't work efficiently.
I got the silver nipple shields and they're encouraging healing already, really recommend them, but she's so lethargic and sleeps all day. DH managed to get a premade sma bottle into her and she immediately woke up and was muss alert than I've seen in days.I'm feeling so guilty for not noticing just how bad she was, her sugars must have been through the floor.
She will need either surgery or medication for her haemangioma in the next few months and I don't want to be responsible for her being under weight starting either of them.
I'll talk to the health visitor tomorrow about weaning. They really like breastfeeding though.
She came by ecs so I feel like I'm giving her two bad starts... Logically I know this is ridiculous but I've been worried about her for months already so it's hard to stop.

Lansinoh cream before and after every feed soothed my sore nipples. Grab the lansinoh to get some relief. and see GP straight away if breasts are hot to touch. mastitis is nasty

I've never been able to feel my let down so no idea when it's happening but she started gulping about ten minutes in to the last feed, if that was my let down it is way too late right? She'll not have been getting much at least on that side.

I never could feel let down. Difficult to tell, but she is likely to be getting everything she needs if you are able to sit for long enough despite the nasty sore nipples. And that is bloody hard, i do remember very well. You can only try, and be kind to yourself, it's OK to be teary and feel like giving up, no judgement here either way. Its very hard until nipples heal. You will get more and more relief soon with nipple shield and soothing protective cream such as lansinoh.

I found pumping made my breasts more sore. If I put lansinoh before and after the feed then it was more bearable, but still horrible until little by little nipple started to heal in a few days

Baby is much more efficient at getting milk by feeding than trying pumping milk , that's why you are only getting snall amounts.

She is likely getting heaps more than you can hope to pump!
If you want to offer bottle to give breasts a break and Dh a turn with feeding, just buy a a quality formula

Hope feel better soon. Be kind to yourself, and baby and put ypur feet up, allow time to recover. Please don't do too much around the house until you feel better. Xo xo

Just to update, we found a very specific angle whereby my nipples survive a feed yay. I will never be able to feed on that side in public so that reduces the benefits of breastfeeding for me as I'm stressed out working out what side I'm due to feed on hours before leaving the house.
The silver caps were essential in getting to this point as I wasn't healing between feeds without them and it was a vicious cycle.
Dds schedule seems to have changed and she's clustering from 3am onwards the problem is I cannot keep my eyes open once she's on my breast I desperately try, I get up and walk around before picking her up but I keep waking up with her attached to me. DH is in the bed too so this is dangerous but even if I kick him out I'm not entirely comfortable with co sleeping.
How do I surpass this new problem? You were all a great help last time

Dont feed in bed. Feed in dressing gown on couch/ chair with pillows and plenty if blankets with light on? Have blankets/ pillows and minties or moneral water or something for u ready near couch/chair and have timer on phone or oven that pings after ? 10 -15 min each side

Put a microwavable heat pack in your bed so nice warm bed waiting for you after changing and feeding baby? You could use one to warm babys cot then always make sure to remove before putting baby in bed.

Great advice from midsummerbreak. I would second an activity to distract you like drinking or eating.

I started off not wanting to cosleep as I was scared of hurting the baby or her coming to expect to sleep in our bed. But then I got really tired and decided it was better to feel safe cosleeping then accidentally fall asleep with her. I researched how to do it and hubby slept in the spare room (well, the single bed in the nursery ). I actually found she fed less when we coslept as she was so happy just to have mummy close. That isn’t the same for everyone though I know! Also last night she slept from 7.30-6.15 in her cot with no wake ups so it just goes to show that you don’t know how your LO will get on [i was awake from 3.30 worrying that she was ok though, like an idiot].

Good luck, it’s really very tough and feels overwhelming sometimes but then you get a call from nursery to start settling in sessions and you feel a bit heartbroken that the first year goes so quickly .

Oh fab!! Im so pleased things are a little easier. You are doing amazing.

Have you got a co-sleeping cot? A chicco next to me or similar?

Best username ever OP.
Glad baby is feeding a little easier for you. I remember my own little baby shark chewing the boobs off me

I have a co sleeper but she is not settling down enough to put her in.
I am actually worried she's not getting a good feed from me as she is spending hours on my boobs and never seems satisfied, I just gave her some formula and she's suddenly chill...

Why is this so tough you'd think nature would have made it easier to keep the human race going

You are so right SuddenArborealStop maybe it is so we don't over populate the planet with humans? It really does feel like torture when so sleep deprived you can barely open your eyes, let alone change and feed baby. I remember falling asleep with baby feeding too. No-one gets through baby years without tough times.

If you dont want to feed baby in a chair, as it is too cold out of bed, time limit each side maybe10min then pop baby back to cot....and with luck get some much needed sleep