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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Is anyone fed up of people commenting that BF is "disgusting"!?

35 replies

helenelisabeth · 27/08/2007 21:40

I am currently 38+3 and intend to BF (did for 9 months with DD1) LO once born. I would say around 80% of friends etc who ask how I will be feeding baby once born have a look of disdain when I say I will be BF.

Funny how I never comment that I think it is "disgusting" that they FF their DC. Pisses me right off that a lot of mothers who have FF their babies can give you a look of disgust because they couldn't imagine BF but you are preaching if you dare say FF is not the best for their child!!

Rant over!!

OP posts:
beansprout · 27/08/2007 21:43

You rant away! It's actually the best thing you can do for your baby - if that's disgusting, then hey, so shoot me!

Good luck for the birth and hope the b/feeding goes well. There will be plenty of support on here if there isn't much to be had in RL.

kiskidee · 27/08/2007 21:44

hugs. start going to a Babycafe or other bf support group (NCT/LLL etc or Surestart) in your area to make contacts with people who will be supportive and knowledgeable about bf.

ScottishMummy · 27/08/2007 21:45

shame u have received unhelpful comments. BF is of course a wholly natural act. Very special and unique actually. Not long now good luck with rest of your pregnancy

sleepycat · 27/08/2007 21:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PigeonPie · 27/08/2007 21:46

What I want to know is why they ask you if they don't want to know the answer!

Twinklemegan · 27/08/2007 21:46

It just makes me lol at how stupid people can be, but I can also understand how you might feel hurt by it. How do they think they came to be here fgs?

(BTW, my look would be one of envy).

bookthief · 27/08/2007 21:48

I've never had that reaction in rl. Very few of my friends bf but most of them wanted to and were sad when it didn't work out and v supportive of me.

If you don't know people who are "pro-bf" it might be worth checking out whether you have a local bf support group as in the early days it's a godsend to have people who understand what you're going through to have a good moan to.

Good luck!

sweetkitty · 27/08/2007 21:49

Tell them to shut up if no one ever BF then they wouldn't be here what did people do before formula was invented?

fishie · 27/08/2007 21:49

your friends don't sound very nice. have you told them they are being rude and unpleasant? do they have plans for your birth as well?

foxcub · 27/08/2007 21:50

I have had lovely comments when BFing mine. Only two negative ones - one from my Mum and one from my Step Mum!

Ignore any negative comments - you know BF is better for both you and your baby and uyou will be giving him/her the best possible strat in life.

There will be plenty of people around who will give you support.

Bfing is so rewarding you won't care about the sad ignorance of some people

beansprout · 27/08/2007 21:50

I think "attack is the best form of defence" applies to your friends, sorry.

TheQueenOfQuotes · 27/08/2007 21:50

so have they actually said they think it's disgusting? Or are you just interpreting their "looks"??

Original poster
helenelisabeth · 27/08/2007 21:51

Luckily all the women in my family are pro-bf so I had huge support with DD1 and will do again with this one but it infuriates me that people are so against the idea of BF yet they have never tried it!? Problem is it puts you off BF in these peoples' presence. Lack of education IMO.

OP posts:
Original poster
helenelisabeth · 27/08/2007 21:54

QueenofQuotes, yes two friends whom I went for a meal with last night were actually going "yuck, I couldn't, knocks me sick thinking about it".

Another friend said the other week she sat with another of her friends who is BF her 6 week old and said "it was horrible, milk was leaking out of her nipples, don't you do that in front of me!".

I just laugh as they are not my close friends (who would never say anything of the sort) but still, who are people to comment?

OP posts:
Twinklemegan · 27/08/2007 21:56

I think you summed it up in your previous post HE. Badly educated and ill-mannered.

Original poster
helenelisabeth · 27/08/2007 21:59

What I am mostly shocked at is the sheer amount of people who are totally against it, like it is the most unnatural thing in the world when it is THE MOST natural.

OP posts:
TheQueenOfQuotes · 27/08/2007 22:04

just out of interest......are they parents themselves??

I know a few people who were positively "yuck" at the thought of BF'ing before they started thinking about having their own baby. But once they fell pg and heard more about it changed their minds (one of them fed her DS1 until he was over 2yrs old ) and it now doesn't bother them in the slightest.

Original poster
helenelisabeth · 27/08/2007 22:08

Yes, they are parents themselves! One told me last night that FF is actually better for DC! My reply was "for cows yes, as basically that is what Forumla Milk consists of". I couldn't even care to argue as why should I bother to change their uneducated minds! They obviously know best!

OP posts:
foxcub · 27/08/2007 22:10

It makes me sad that some people are so ignorant

binkleandflip · 27/08/2007 22:12

Can I just say that it is the most natural thing in the world however that is not to say it feels that way to all women.

Original poster
helenelisabeth · 27/08/2007 22:13

Their argument is that it has never harmed their children. I agree, FF does not harm your children but MY preference is to BF my children and NO-ONE should comment that to do so is "disgusting".

OP posts:
sweetkitty · 28/08/2007 07:59

Only person I got any negative comments from was my brother and I think he thought I would be sitting with both boobs on display the entire day as he had never seen anyone BFing before. The first time I was BFing in the same room as me he didn't notice until someone said I was feeding then he left the room.

conkertree · 28/08/2007 12:14

My lo is three weeks old, and I always assumed I would bf probably becuase all the females in my family have done and do with their babies, but I have been very surprised since getting pg about the attitude that so many people have against it.

For a start, despite having a bf award, the hospital I gave birth in made bf quite difficult. Not in an obvious way but subtly. Lo had a few problems latching on in the first few days which i expected cause my sister had a similar thing, so i wasnt too worried, but they kept going on and on about him getting dehydrated (but wouldnt give him water - only formula) and how his tongue was too short and his jaw misaligned - my nipples were too flat etc etc etc. Just kept coming up with reasons why bf might not work. I got pretty upset about it all (was emotional anyway haven just given birth) and they pretty much forced me to give him formula. I only agreed so he could put a wee bit of weight on so they would discharge us and I could get home and practise in the comfort of my own home.

He took to feeding really well after about three days, and has put on 2oz a day for the last week and a half. Really feel like taking him back into the hospital to show him to all those who were so keen to point out what could stop me bf. But will try to avoid getting bitter about it.

Anyway, I decided not to wait too long before bf in public - was fine in Costa Coffee but was in Thorntons cafe yesterday and my dh was at the till - he said a teenage boy about 2 tables away was sitting there staring with his mouth open and his mother looked like thunder. I am still a beginner, but was being careful not to show anything more than was necessary to get him to latch on. Think the mother went up to complain cause saw her at the till talking to the staff and looking over at me. But the staff didnt say anything to me (just as well since its illegal to tell somebody to stop bf in Scotland).

And visited friends who were not critical of bf but did keep asking me how long i would be doing it for, and think they were quite surprised that i wasnt going to stop after 6 weeks.

sorry for the long post, but i am still new to this, and still surprised by how split people seem to be over their attitudes to people bfeeding.

Tinker · 28/08/2007 12:26

Get new friends

NoBiggy · 28/08/2007 12:26

I'll admit, before I ever had a go myself, I was uncomfortable with bf. Not that I was against it, I knew very well that it was the very best thing to do. I just didn't know where to put myself. Should I comment, ignore, or what?

But that was my clumsiness, and I knew it. I never went round passing comment about it!

I was more uncomfortable with the kids that come up and ask (of course, kept this to myself too). But now, I'm fine with that. Someone said here recently that you don't start out bf a 2 year old, and that's the key to it isn't it. By this time next week I'll be bf a one year old, and we'll carry on for a bit longer. If I was handed her today to start bf, rather than when she was a little wrinkly bundle I'd be

I think, if people can't get their heads round breastfeeding, they could at least learn some manners!

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