How do I decide?

[kaled]

I'm sorry, I know this has probably been discussed ad nauseam, but how does one decide whether to BF or FF?

I can see the benefits to BFing - better for baby, bonding, weight loss, free etc.

I can see benefits to FFing - DP being able to feed baby for the first time, other people being able to look after baby, no embarassment factor etc.

I have MIL telling me how brilliant BFing is and I really should do it if only to lose weight and my mother saying she never considered it because of not wanting to do it in front of family. DP says he understands if I want to do it but doesn't seem keen on the idea.

Baby is due in a couple of weeks and I still have no idea which I want to do.

Presume I was the target of for kaled roffle, however, I have never disputed the quality of colostrum and the benefits it has. This, however, does not prove that ff erodes the lining of the gut as stated by someone on another thread. Its a tenuous link.

blimey
you are all at each others throats again, pity........
kaled, why not pop along to a breast feeding group and chat to mums there, or to a mother/baby group. i know mothers who had not intended to b/feed and then enjoyed the experience, others who wouldnt and didnt want to b/feed. personally, there was a lovely level of intimacy in b/feeding experience, but it doesn't always come easily, and only you can do it, so it is all your responsability, which some women do find inhibiting, but,most women do find it rewarding. also, i have spoken to a number of women who either had to give up, or were unable to b/feed, and they feel they have missed out- its very personal.no-one will mind you chatting to them at mother and baby groups, so go along . good luck

Kaled,

You just have to wait and see how it goes. I would say try bfing and see if it's for you. My ds1 didn't take to bfing, but he loved his formula, ds2 loves bfing and can't stand formula every baby is different.

Whatever you decide just remember that it's your decision. Don't let yourself feel guilty about any parenting decision because life is too short.

Tori I posted my feelings on the subject and as opinions were asked for I gave mine. It isn't scaremongering at all but giving a view of mine and saying how I still feel after 5 and a half years so it's not somethin I take lightly. I would hate anyone to feel the same as me if they don't have to. I didn't attempt to bf my dd, well I did one feed after bringing her home but as she was sick after it I thought it was the breastmilk and carried on with the formula. I desperately wished I would have tried to bf her but for reasons stated before, and a serious lack of support, I didn't. Why should I "keep my guilt to myself" the op asked for views so don't tell me what I should or shouldn't do.

I would definitely try bf, personally I assumed it would be a nightmare but actually it's been quite straightforward. If you hate it then you can easily switch and your baby will have had colostrum and maybe some breastmilk, which is beneficial.
Good luck with whatever you decide, and the birth. I'll be watching for your birth announcement!

Good luck with the birth!

Even though bf was painful at first I found it really worth sticking with - it gets so much easier. There is no hassle involved which is valuable if you are feeding every 3 hours through the night for a few months as I was.

I also found it a perfect way of soothing a very cross colicky new born, nothing else would calm her down.

Crap support in hospitals for b-f is one big reason for people stopping v. soon. One of my friends woke up in hospital soon after giving birth to find her dc being taken away for a bottle as they were worried that feeding was not being established fast enough. If you want to give it a go, you should go and talk to the midwifes in your unit and ask what kind of support they offer. It may be a good idea to ask a sympathetic friend to come in to help you get started

good luck

Just be prepared for how stressful bf can be at the beginning. NO I'M NOT SCAREMONGERING JUST BEING REALISTIC HERE BEFORE YOU ALL SHOUT AT ME!!! With both my babies, there was a certain amount of stress and tears involved with bf, ds1 wasn't interested and ds2 just wouldn't stop and let me sleep. I'm sure some people take to it like a duck to water, but bf is a partnership between you and the baby, and you both have to learn how to do it. It takes a few days. Be prepared for flailing little hands that always get in the way of the boob. And sore nipples are a fact at the beginning, even if they toughen up quickly. If you decide to do it, take a little tube of lansinoh to the hospital and make sure you apply it after every feed - it really helps!

IMHO it really is worth trying but as other posters have said, you can always give it up if it doesn't work for you or for the baby.

Good luck and congratulations.

domestic, you were right about the effect of formula feeding on the gut, as it damages the mucosal lining, and you were also right about the increased risk of infections. I don't know why Tori - who is professionally qualified in this area - was so scathing about your information. What you said was not controversial in any way, and there is a solid evidence base for it.

I BF my DS to 6 months, and am glad I persevered with it, although I personally found it tricky to master, (as did my DS!). Once we'd got the hang of it, it was wonderful - calm quiet time for both of us, very happy memories.

As long as you make the choice for yourself and your baby rather than for what your MIL or mother will think of you, you'll be doing the right thing.

In terms of not BF in front of family, I frequently BF'ed in public without anyone being the wiser. With a good feeding bra, a scarf/muslin to tuck around the bra straps & baby and/or a feeding top you can be very discreet about it. I didn't do it in front on anyone until I'd got the hang of getting him latched on, but once that got easier then I practised in front of a mirror until I knew I could do it quickly without anyone seeing anything (just my personal shyness - I'm not offended by people feeding their baby 'indiscreetly' iyswim, but I have scars on my breasts which I hate so...). It's a lot more convenient to pack a scarf/muslin than it is to pack formula, sterile bottles, boiled cool water, AND a muslin. No-one saw my breasts besides DS, DH, and the odd midwife!

But whatever you choose, make sure it's your own choice & you won't go far wrong.

Thank you all very much for your views, I am a second time mum but really didn't want to try BFing last time, but the idea doesn't seem to scare me as much now. I like the 'take it one day at a time' idea, I think it would be a good thing to attempt to get it to work because then at least I know I've tried, IYSWIM.
Thanks again.

I think that the "give it a go" idea is a good one. You'll never know how you feel and whether it's for you until you try, and while you try at least the babe will get colustrum for a good start.

i actually think you have to be very determined about bfing if you want it to work. i'm not sure how a take it a day at a time attitude would work. certainly the first few weeks of getting used to bfing can be extremely difficult, and without the right support and information to hand it would be very very easy to say it isn't working out today so i'll switch to bottles. i think you will find this all the more difficult if your partner is not supportive.

so, great go in there thinking 'i'll give it a go' but i do think if you expect it not to work out, it probably will. and if you really want to do it, then i would suggest arming yourself with all the helpline numbers, kellymom.com, plus a copy of 'bestfeeding' (look on amazon) as back up, rather than bottles and formula as back up.

if you are worried about problems with b/feeding, talk to b/feeding proffesionals-
nct, or breastfeeding network, or there may be a peer support group in your area-look at the doctors or the clinic for leaflets, or ask m/wife, or h/v
best of luck

i think ruddynorahs right.

is bloody hard to stick to your guns with no backup from dp/family tho...

personally, i couldnt imagine not moving mountains to make it work for the forst 6m at least. was happy enough to switch over at or around that point...

I think you should give BF a go because there are nice things about it that its hard to describe unless you experience them. I thought I would BF because intellectually I knew the health benefits but never imagined I would actually enjoy it as much as I do. DH has also surprised himself at how mushy it makes him feel to see his DD having a feed. He has given her a bottle of EBM but finds it overated as a bonding experience. I found embarrassment went pretty quickly and others can give a bottle of EBM if I need them to but I hardly ever bother as I find I can still go out between feeds. Love the convenience as I'm way too lazy to wash and sterilise bottles and don't know what I'd do at injection time without it. I know you read a lot about horrible problems of sore nipples, mastitis etc but I think it is true to say that a lot of women do breastfeed without much problem at all and you never know you may be one of them......suck it and see

TIKTOK if the evidence was substantiated about formula causing damage to the mucosal lining I am certain the Department of Health would need to display a warning on the tin to explain this. Nor would it be sold. There may have been research into this link, however, as with all research it is possible to find evidence to refute this.

Re: ff and gut damage:
"Effect of breast feeding on risk of coeliac disease: a systematic review and meta-analysis of observational studies", Archives of Disease in Childhood 2006;91:39-43
abstract

This is a recent study, DoH warnings generally operate on a slow timescale

OP: Here's a link to 101 reasons to bf - whatever choice you make, good luck!

the colostrum in the 1st few days is so good 4 the baby i think you should try and at least give that 2 the baby and if its really not your keep of tea well at least the baby has had that. i wouldnt neccessaryily make any major decision on it, just try it and c, then make yr decision

I was very open minded when pregnant with my first

I hadn't made a decision to BF or FF until she was born. I was laying there having a cuddle while I was getting a few stitches and just thought, wonder what it is like. Hormones maybe, I don't know, it wasn't an urge but it was quite powerful thought. I asked the midwife if I should and she said, go ahead and try

I was extremely lucky and baby just knew what to do. So I bf her. She gave it up at 3 months (no idea why, neither did NCT BFC, she just refused the breast one day) I had not one problem up to that time, she was a dream

Go with an open mind, try it and see how it goes. If it isn't for you then change too bottles. But if you don't try it, you can never go back

I'm into week 5 of BF my first baby and I'd wholeheartedly recommend you have a go. It wasn't nearly as sore as some people warned me - all hail Lansinoh! - and although it's been hard initially it's so easy to get out of the house/do night time feeds/be spontaneous.

I know this thread has got a bit heated but the way I see it is that nobody can dispute the health benefits of BF and it would be crazy to advise any new mum to do anything other than try her best to BF. FF won't harm your baby if you do need to use it - it's saved plenty lives - but it won't provide the same benefits. You don't need us to tell you that though.

My personal advice would be to read loads about it, and if you decide to do it then be wholehearted and determined because it does help to be bloody-minded at 4am when you wish you could have a break! The one day at a time tip is good but really only applies to the handful of bad days you might get to start with. I've found it to be an experience I'm enjoying and not nearly as bad as promised!