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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

How do I decide?

74 replies

kaled · 23/08/2007 22:04

I'm sorry, I know this has probably been discussed ad nauseam, but how does one decide whether to BF or FF?

I can see the benefits to BFing - better for baby, bonding, weight loss, free etc.

I can see benefits to FFing - DP being able to feed baby for the first time, other people being able to look after baby, no embarassment factor etc.

I have MIL telling me how brilliant BFing is and I really should do it if only to lose weight and my mother saying she never considered it because of not wanting to do it in front of family. DP says he understands if I want to do it but doesn't seem keen on the idea.

Baby is due in a couple of weeks and I still have no idea which I want to do.

OP posts:

TheQueenOfQuotes · 23/08/2007 23:23

Sorry Meely - I think you're talking rubbish.

Some people DO feel guilty that they didn't BF - why lie about it? Others are ok because they knowingly chose not to. Seen as though the OP isn't sure atm what they want to do it only seems right that they get all points of view.

notnowbernard · 23/08/2007 23:24

Well I'm sure the last few posts have been really encouraging for the OP... she asked a perfectly reasonable question regarding the choice of feeding for her baby and has now been subjected to a bit of a snide-fest instead. Feel a bit embarassed by it, TBH.

Meeely2 · 23/08/2007 23:27

i think you should take into account who the OP is (new mum, second time mum, etc etc), because strong views can influence a choice... we should encourage choice but present our views objectively......

and yes i admit what i am saying is probably rubbish, i have had a bottle of wine.....

pooka · 23/08/2007 23:27

That's good going for a Thursday night! Well done that woman

Meeely2 · 23/08/2007 23:28

thanks pooka (hic)

tori32 · 23/08/2007 23:28

Yes the OP needs a balanced view and not to have bf or ff pushed for personal reasons. I did start out with diplomacy ,however, then there was a barrage of 'bf is the best' posts which really get quite annoying because it may be nutritionally the best but may not be the best thing for all involved.

aloha · 23/08/2007 23:29

Have a go. Honestly, you might absolutely love it, and if you don't try you can't go back to it later.
Embarrassment factor soon fades away.
I found the health benefits very convincing, but more than that, when my dd was born and rooting like a little bird, it just seemed so nice and natural.
There are LOTS of things dads can do for babies. Baths, cuddles, carry the baby in a sling, nappies, dressing, kissing, singing. And in time you can express and other people can feed the baby.
I think it's incredibly mean to have a go at Jodie who clearly had a very, very traumatic time and has posted honestly and emotionally about her feelings.

TheQueenOfQuotes · 23/08/2007 23:29

yes I think the wine isn't helping your judgement. In order for the OP (regardless of whether they're a 1st time or 10th time mother) to have a balanced view and to make a properly informed choice all sides should be shown.

So Jodie (and others) feel guilty for not BF'ing one or more of their children

Others (such as myself) don't have that guilt.

If the OP knows that these feelings may (or may not) arise should she opt for FF she'll be more prepared to cope with them

aloha · 23/08/2007 23:30

I think the OP is the best person to decide what she 'needs' from the thread, actually.

TheQueenOfQuotes · 23/08/2007 23:31

oops - sorry Aloha

Meeely2 · 23/08/2007 23:31

i have no judgement without the wine!

aloha · 23/08/2007 23:31

taht wasn't aimed at you QoQ!

TheQueenOfQuotes · 23/08/2007 23:32

it wasn't? phew - thought I'd put my foot in it as per usual LOL.

lankyesme · 23/08/2007 23:33

Do whatever feels right for you. I have just finished 5 1/2 months of BF my DS. I thought i would just give it a go and see how it went. i really enjoyed it. It was easy, free, convenient, fun and great help in getting my figure back. Once i got over feeding in public it was alot easier, also it was a great "excuse " to escape family or group situations when DS needed feeding especially when newborn. Enjoy your time with your new born it goes way to fast!!!

tori32 · 23/08/2007 23:33

Very well and diplomatically put Queen
Anyway time to bail, work tomorrow. Ta Ta

aloha · 23/08/2007 23:33

No, I agree with you!
She asked what made people decide, and people are saying what made them decide and how they felt about that decision.

Meeely2 · 23/08/2007 23:34

u wimp tori x x

TheQueenOfQuotes · 23/08/2007 23:36

good job I'm already sitting down - 2 posts in a row either agreeing with me or complementing me!?!?!?

notnowbernard · 23/08/2007 23:36

Agree with Alhoa... but don't think OP needs ff vs bf sniping in order to reach her (personal and informed!) decision

TotalChaos · 23/08/2007 23:38

if you aren't averse to the idea, well worth starting off with bfing, as the colostrum you produce the first few days before your milk comes in is has lots of benefits for your baby, so even if you don't choose to bf for long, your baby will still have got some benefit from it.

ROFFLE · 23/08/2007 23:38

" By Meeely2 on Thu 23-Aug-07 22:39:38
tori, how very restrained!

kaled - it is up to YOU, it's your baby, don;t feel pressured into anything, whatever u decide will be fine and will have no detrimental affect on either of you.....sorry, we having a breast vs bottle discussion on another thread - it's all got a bit bitchy!"

What a surprise. And lo! It turned bitchy on this thread.

What a remarkable coincidence.

Ya, know, for folk who dont feel guilty, you two are quite defensive enough about your choice to attack someone's point of view that was directed at helping someone else make a decision.

Interesting......

ROFFLE · 23/08/2007 23:40

for kaled

(and for the ill-informed 'medical' experts on this thread)

SpeccieSeccie · 23/08/2007 23:40

kaled - I ff my ds but I would so recommend you try bf at the start as that first feed is very nice IME. I couldn't keep going (for tonnes of reasons) but I'm glad I gave it a go and afterwards my gp really sweetly said how nice it was for my ds that I'd given him colostrum and not to worry about ffing from then on. Not sure how 'medical' that is but it made me feel fine.

I have to say I don't feel at all guilty about ffing and I love the fact that my dh does so much of the feeding. But you can express a bottle - I'd recommend a proper hospital grade electric pump if you want to do this lots, I found it made a real difference.

Tranquila · 23/08/2007 23:42

in my experience, the whole 'dp can do the feeds, other people can take care of the baby and i can get out' angle is over stated. how much 'getting out' do you really think youa re going to do? baby is pretty much guaranteed to be pretty much glued to you, and mainly you, for the first year or so. IME.

if the freedom aspect is your main pull towards FF, then id advise to look at objectively. you might get out now and then...but if you want to do that, you can do it perfectly well by expressing.

tori32 · 23/08/2007 23:46

meely I'm back. Just couldn't resist x Not wimping out. Do need to hit the hay. Got the first tri knackeredness ( and probably hormones!)I repeat I am not agianst or for any type of feeding and have said this. I haven't pushed either and have said I would give bf a go. What more can I say. x

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