I have started to hate breastfeeding

[Narlat]

Hi all. So not really sure why I'm putting this on here I guess I'm after some advise and opinions regardless of what they might be.

I have BF my dd from the start she is now 9 weeks. We had a very traumatic birth but I wont go into that, it did however mean that on night 2 she was given a small amount of formula by the midwives after being latched for 3 hours!!.
Anyway. Breast feeding has gone well in every aspect, she never lost any weight and has got big so fast. 7, 11 when born. 13, 4 at week 8!! Nothing had gone wrong. I got through the lip biting painful phase and now feel like a pro. But I hate doing it!.

I know i should cherish it and be grateful as some women cant bf but would love to but I really am starting to hate it!!!.

Befor dd came along I was out and about, busy team leader that old shebang. She now stops me from going out because shes on me every 90 mins or so. The hv said she is snaking rather then having a full meal and that I should give her a bottle mid morning to give me a bit of time off. I've done that and I feel so guilty cos it worked and I loved the 4 hours of freedom!.

There is nothing wrong with supply or her latch she just would rather snack and graze.

Am I being selfish for even contemplating given up bf to get my freedom back?
Has anyone else felt like this.

Mum guilt it killing me and then my rational brain kicks in and makes me so conflicted

If you’re not worried about supply or latch could you introduce combined feeding to give yourself a break? It doesn’t have to be all or nothing and then you don’t have to feel guilty for 'giving up'.

It’s easy to tell you to do what makes you happy, but I remember that guilt myself and powered through in spite of it so I do not practise what I preach!

No matter what, it sounds like you’re doing a great job. It’s perfectly normal to not enjoy having almost constant physical contact, and your freedoms curtailed so do t beat yourself up about that.

You need to do what's best for you in my opinion here. Seriously, don't feel any guilt for it. You've done brilliantly so far, she'll likely enter a routine soon, but there's no guarentee when.

I express to feed because I couldn't cope with him latching every 2 hours for half an hour, it just wasn't doable for me when I wanted to get on with other things. He's almost 5 months now, and is in a routine of 180ml every 3-5 hours. I express for 4 hours a day, admittedly I do supplement with formula once a day but thats because I have never produced enough milk, and he had that daily from about 5 days.

I think this aspect of breastfeeding is something that affects people differently. In my case mine did seem to become a more efficient feeder at 12 weeks which gave me a bit more of an interval during the day at least. It depends how long you feel you can "hang in there" for.

Nine weeks of breastmilk is brilliant, well done you! If you’ve had enough move onto formula and don’t look back! Life is too short.

You’ve done well and there’s no reason not to move over to formula feeding if you feel you’d like to. Guilt shouldn’t come into it.

If you've had enough and need/want more freedom then move to formula.

My DD is 10 weeks now and just starting to increase her times between feeds. It's frustrating when a lot of the day is spent sat feeding her but I've forced myself to embrace the time on the sofa for the first 3 months in the knowledge those feeds will get quicker and further apart after that. If you want to continue BF I'd say stick it out for a few more weeks and you may be surprised how much she changes. Over Christmas is a nice time to stay in with boxsets and films too!

I know this will be unpopular, but I would just switch to formula. In fact I did, but much earlier (3 weeks not 9!) because I was really starting to hate breastfeeding. And it was the best thing I did because I could just get on with enjoying my baby, no regrets at all.

I felt this way; I started combination feeding, starting with one bottle a day at 6 weeks then by 10-12 weeks she was having 2 a day and at 4 months she had 3 a day and I carried on the rest breastfeeds until 7 months when she was on bottles and weaning. It definitely saved me; I was so much happier and it kept me breastfeeding; I was told by an unhelpful NCT feeding consultant that my supply would drop if I tried what I did and I nearly gave up breastfeeding altogether at that point as I knew I couldn’t carry on doing it exclusively. My health visitor corrected the information that my body would supply what I demanded from it and I’m very glad I did it that way.
Having said all that 9 weeks of breastfeeding is amazing and if you feel that’s as far as you can go then you’ve done brilliantly and have no reason to feel guilty

You should absolutely do what works for you without guilt.

It sounds like you're only feeding at home? I will say, I found the psychological barrier of feeding in public very tough at first - I needed lots of moral support from my partner to get me through. Now I find breastfeeding so much easier out and about than bottles.

Absolutely your choice, and you've done amazingly already.

It does get easier. At the beginning they do loads of cluster feeding as they’re growing loads hence why they need feeding so much. I’d say by 3-4 months my son wasn’t feeding as much as before. Now that he’s 20 months he only feeds at night.
I went back to work when he was 6 months and have worked since.
So if you would want to continue feeding then take one day at a time and think that this will soon be easier.
Saying this if you have had enough and prefer to swap them you’ve to do what’s best for you and your family.

If you want to move to formula that's 100% OK. There's zero reason to force yourself to continue if you don't want.

If you want to mix feed, thats 100% ok.

If you want to continue to fully bf thats also 100% OK.

If you continue with bf at all, I'd strongly suggest you learn how to feed in a sling. Thst way, you literally just get on with your day and feed on the go. Whilst I think ff can be very liberating, so can sling feeding. I've made sandwiches whilst feeding, gone round the supermarket, had dinner, done colouring with my toddler etc. If you don't want to be trapped under a feeding baby then it's your answer, though moving to mix feeding means that you can get a physical break too.

It's fine to stop. Please don't feel guilty about it. You have this child forever. There is much more to parenting than these few weeks.

But, it does seem a bit of a shame to go through all the painful bit then just stop. So I'm wondering why you can't feed her whilst you're out & about OP? Are you stating at hime to feed her?

Oh, cand if you only bf at home be ause you don't want to get your boobs out in public, then sling feeding is as about as discreet as you can get. Even my husband has been stood next to me and didn't realise I was feeding.

I stopped bf both mine at three months because it was too tying. Purely selfish reasons. They're now teens and I've never regretted it. My mental health was just as important as anything else IMO.
They slept much better too.

If you do decide to keep feeding there are loads of covers you can get if you don't feel comfortable having your boobs out in public. Makes it really easy to just get on with your day. Just google "hooter hiders"

Good luck with whatever you do OP & please don't feel guilty about whatever you decide. A happy mum is the best thing you can give your daughter.

Breastfeeding out and about once you're not self conscious is even easier than bottle feeding. With bottles you need to wash the bottles, measure the formula, get the hot water, cool it down/warm it up. With breastfeeding you just pop baby on. Try feeding in a quiet Cafe facing the wall the first time. Honestly nobody notices or comments

I felt exactly like you did and now he's 10 months and I'm still breastfeeding and I am happy about it, i am back full time at work, so only breastfeed in the evening, nights and mornings.

It's a very personal choice but the change from being busy, having a career to being at home with baby can be very challenging & I get it - I had PND but feeling a lot better now and I am glad I never gave up breastfeeding. Have you thought about expressing and introducing a bottle?

Wow. I was not expecting that amount of a response. Thank you all.
I hate bf in public I get all flustered then dd starts fussing and it's a recipe for disaster.
She has one bottle at night at the moment, and my oh os desperate to feed. I have tried expressing but I get like 2 oz if I express.
I have this thought in my mind thatvill get to 12 weeks and then re evaluate.
I think com I feeding is the way forward for now and I'm going to keep up with the 11 am bottle and the 10pm bottle.

I've tried a sling, maybe my local group was not as welcoming as I had hoped, least to say the sling has just sat on the side since i got it!.

Your right @marmitemayonnaise its christmas and I can and should just chill out in front of the tv. It's currently blowing a gale and raining outside.

Combi feeding is the way to go I think. Thank you all for the positive comments, I know it can be a touchy subject.

😘😘😘😘😘

I don't think anyone really warns women about the relentlessness of early breastfeeding. It's probably not that easy to really get until you are in that position of spending most of your day on the sofa with a baby attached.

No 10000% no one warms you that you basically become a dairy cow, with probably less outside time then they have!! 🤣🤣🤣

Why not combination feed? It doesn't need to be all or nothing. You could do formula in the day when you're out and about and BF at home and overnight. Even BF just a few times a day helps with their immunity etc. Only if you want to of course. No judgement here for formula

WRT feeding out & about this gets much easier as baby gets older/you stop giving a fuck
Do you have a BF friend to go out with or a bf group to go to? I’ve bf everywhere but I can clearly remember how hard it was the first few weeks with my first.

I do think BF is generally harder over at least the first 8 weeks but much easier than bottles for the rest of the time so if you gave up now you’d have the worst of both worlds.

I breastfed dd until 8 weeks then combi fed till 3 months then just did formula.

I was tired. She was constantly on me. Wouldnt settle for dh at all or anyone else. I couldn't have a shower without listening to her crying. So at 8 weeks I gave in and introduced formula then gradually over the next 4 weeks I gave more formula until she was just having bottles. I also had an older dd too who was 5 at the time so it was very difficult when i was on my own and we were having alot of jealousy issues because i just couldn't put baby down and it made it difficult. Life became so much happier for all of us with formula

Mum guilt is a horrible social construct that makes me so very angry! You are allowed to put your needs first sometimes. Your baby just needs to be fed.

I BF my first and an currently BF my second and I hate it. My reason for doing it is I can’t be arsed to make bottles and don’t want to buy the stuff. It’s whatever works for you.

Every 90 min is pretty standard for a BF newborn.

And I fed whenever/ wherever. I struggled enough with PND and doing things that if that had stopped me, I would have been a recluse. FWIW, I never enjoyed it, but kept going to 21 mo