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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

breast feeding in public

72 replies

kittenbaby · 16/08/2007 11:27

hi i posted this question when i was pregnant ,in the pregnancy section
ive just been thinking about breastfeeding and i think its something i want to do well at least give it my best shot
do you know what puts me off though the fact its not our legal right to do it in public
which i think is outrageous
i think it must be horrible to do it in public and be told off
or to be asked leave wherever you are
im shocked by the amount of people that think its disgusting !!

im shocked by the amount of people that think its disgusting !!

the reason i thought so many people found it offensive was largley down to this incident ;

well what happned to me was i was in a busy town center pharmacy and a mum that was waiting for her prescription was sitting there bf her baby while waiting, i didnt even notice until about 5 people started having a go at her and muttering things
one man goes oh someones got there tit out over there in a really horrible putting down tone then he goes oh now shes got the other one out tut tut
she only had one out at a time she just switched over
his comments set this other old bat off she was about 57
who actually started having a right go as opposed to just making comments
she started saying
when theres facilities such as baby rooms they should be used!
the mum just looked close to tears and said nothing so i tried to stick up for the lady because im havily pregnant and i felt sorry for her
so i said to the old bat she doesnt have to use the baby room if she doesnt want to because its flithy in there and stinks
old bat replied well its a private thing bf it should be done in private.
to which i replied its up to the mum where she wants to do it.
then the old bat startd saying it has to be done in private because otherwise the baby gets distracted! as if to say you dont know what your talking about your just pregnant
i was so mad i tried my best to stick up for the mum
but it really shocked me and put me off breastfeeding

anyway now my point is my dd is 7 weeks old and excl bf,thanks to a LOT of help from the wonderful mumsnetters! [three cheers for them ]
and me and dh and dd are going out for lunch on sat as its our first wedding anniversary we are going back to the place where got married its an old elizabethan hall/ hotel
and very posh
i know im gonna have to feed dd as she is still b/feeding constantly
i dont know what to say if someone has a go at me though ,but i dont want stay couped up in the hous for ever either and why should i ?

how do you go about dealing with this?
do you have any hints and tips?
or even better quick one liners to say to rude people? be good to have a quick answer to fire back at anyone that wants to have a go !!
im not very good at thinking of something quick to say at the time,then i always think afterwards ....why didnt i say such and such !!

sorry this is so long xx

OP posts:

Katy44 · 18/08/2007 14:42

They're probably all bought by shoplifters

lyndyloo · 18/08/2007 15:36

Have fed loads of public places and tbh had noone say anything to me. My Lo suffered from reflux for a while and used to pull on and off the nipple sometimes so often I used to have very exposed breasts!!! I didn't give a damn! I was feeding my baby - end of story.

Go for it is what I say!

Highlander · 18/08/2007 16:53

FFS, those covers are so hideous and unecessary.

I don't care what people think of my norks.

But I do like to plan on wearing a gillet to hide any visible rolls of abdominal flab. Sheesh, the thought of anyone eyeballing that

Spidermama · 18/08/2007 23:03

PMSL tiktok. Those covers are hilarious. So self concious. You might as well carry a flip out tent with you with a head hole in the top.

Katy44 · 19/08/2007 08:55

Get that idea patented
It could even have its own chemical toilet!

theUrbanDryad · 19/08/2007 09:11

ah, bf-ing in public, my personal favourite topic!!

i've had far more positive comments than negative, but i do seem to attract them, not sure why. i've had some odd comments when babywearing too but mostly it's been little old ladies saying things like, "Oh that's so nice to see," or words to that effect. I had a long conversation with the manager of my local shopping centre after being asked to move to the mother and baby room (and refusing!) and pointed out that if shops etc display breastfeeding friendly stickers they can get free advertising on sites like these! he was very interested!

also - it is our "legal" right to feed wherever and whenever, it is just also other people's legal right to come and harass you!! IMO, it shouldn't need to be legislated, but it seems that common courtesy needs to be legislated these days....

theUrbanDryad · 19/08/2007 09:13

meant to say as well - i find that if you see anyone staring give a big friendly smile. i think that some people think that we bf in public to be awkward or militant or whatever, and if you give out an impression of lovely friendliness then it takes the wind out of their sails!!

hope you had a lovely meal...and happy anniversary!

skatergirl · 19/08/2007 09:30

Hope lunch went well yesterday and that you managed to feed your baby without any mishap. I have breastfed for 14 months and 15 months, I fed whereever I happened to be at the time and have never recieved any negative comments or glares (well, only from sister in law but thats another story!).

skatergirl · 19/08/2007 09:32

I was always more concerned about exposing rolls of post baby tummy than anything else!

kiskidee · 19/08/2007 09:38

"IMO, it shouldn't need to be legislated, but it seems that common courtesy needs to be legislated these days"

[ditto]
[applause]

Original poster

kittenbaby · 19/08/2007 10:49

hi everyone
just wanted to update you all on how we got on yesterday
i did it!

we had a really lovely lunch the place was packed as there was a wedding going on dd wanted feeding thoughout the lunch and only went to sleep just after we had finished our deserts [ hummmmmmmm lovely chcolate browine with clotted cream !
[ kittenbaby licks her lips ]
dd slept the whole of the way there,the whole of way home and straight after the meal, only wanted feeding and crying during the meal!
maybe shes a millitant baby ! lol

i did feel a bit awkward at first but then i got over it
no one said anything to me think the only ones that really noticed was the waitress's and waiters
they only said ah what a lovely baby [ did did look slightly taken a back, only slightly though just in a suprised kinda way

im so glad ive done it, now im gonna feel a lot more confident next time and i dont want to have to hide away forever

to most of you it prob doesnt seem like a big deal and i wish i had your confidence
but to me it was a big deal even to the extent it almost made me think maybe i wont bf.
now i think i must of been mad to actually consider not doing my best for my lovely dd just because of being embassared!
seems so silly now
so to get out there and do it in public with dd only 7 weeks old and really happy with myself

now i feel freedom

thanks everyone xxx

OP posts:

Tranquila · 19/08/2007 11:03

i bf'd all 3 boys and only had an 'incident' once... the manager in a jumped up country pub/restaurant type place who asked me to go sit somewhere quiet. the restaurant was empty ffs! i thought he was joking... sunk in that he wasnt and both dp and i were so shocked we just left without really making any fuss (after eating the first course - we were starving! and it had just arrived)
the young waitess was v apologetic bless her. gave her a nice tip and told her NOT to share it.

anyways, ive steamed over it loads since and spent the rest of my bf'ing 'career' just iching to have a negative comment! but alas...

i think iwas going to say something else in this post but i got carried away with that story... oh well [twit]

izzybiz · 19/08/2007 11:04

I was in town the other day, and there was a woman just walking down the High Street feeding her baby.
I thought to myself, thats the way it should be.(smile)
And im not a BFeeder myself but I dont see any need for any mum to hide!

Tranquila · 19/08/2007 11:05

kittenbaby - just read your last post... well done!

izzybiz · 19/08/2007 11:05

That should have been !!

Jacanne · 19/08/2007 11:11

Well done Kittenbaby - the more women who BF in public, the more common it will become and, hopefully, the less likely it will be for people to comment.

stripeymama · 19/08/2007 11:21

You can buy "nursing vests" that have a popper on the strap so's you dont have to expose the dreaded tummy. Or you can save a tenner by sewing a popper on a vest you already have.
The most stares/comments I ever got were in the JobCentre - that was quite a shock to my "earth mother" sensibilities. You think these attitudes only exist in apocryphal tales that happen to other people but no, they are still out there.

kiskidee · 19/08/2007 11:23

kittenbaby, re your last post: [lump in throat] [misty eye] sad, aren't I?

MyMILisDoloresUmbridge · 19/08/2007 11:44

Well done kb!!!{grin]

theUrbanDryad · 19/08/2007 14:44

for discreet feeding i found a strappy dress/vest/t-shirt combo worked well. i pull the vest down and pull the top up, thus hiding the vast swathes of post-baby tummy flab that i have

crayon · 19/08/2007 19:28

I've breastfed three without a single comment (God help anyone who dares though!). I feed all over the place and although I don't bare my breasts I have no embarrasment in doing so. I wouldn't expect trouble when you start bf in public, because I think it is really rare.

Good luck!

mamadoc · 20/08/2007 11:00

Well done kittenbaby! DD is 4 months and i now don't care at all where I feed her but do recall feeling exactly like you did the first few times. It is a genuine concern for a lot of us which is such a shame. When you get going it really is as you say freedom. No need to cart a load of stuff around or worry about having enough bottles if you stay out longer than you thought. Enjoy!!

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