breast feeding in public

[kittenbaby]

hi i posted this question when i was pregnant ,in the pregnancy section
ive just been thinking about breastfeeding and i think its something i want to do well at least give it my best shot
do you know what puts me off though the fact its not our legal right to do it in public
which i think is outrageous
i think it must be horrible to do it in public and be told off
or to be asked leave wherever you are
im shocked by the amount of people that think its disgusting !!

im shocked by the amount of people that think its disgusting !!

the reason i thought so many people found it offensive was largley down to this incident ;

well what happned to me was i was in a busy town center pharmacy and a mum that was waiting for her prescription was sitting there bf her baby while waiting, i didnt even notice until about 5 people started having a go at her and muttering things
one man goes oh someones got there tit out over there in a really horrible putting down tone then he goes oh now shes got the other one out tut tut
she only had one out at a time she just switched over
his comments set this other old bat off she was about 57
who actually started having a right go as opposed to just making comments
she started saying
when theres facilities such as baby rooms they should be used!
the mum just looked close to tears and said nothing so i tried to stick up for the lady because im havily pregnant and i felt sorry for her
so i said to the old bat she doesnt have to use the baby room if she doesnt want to because its flithy in there and stinks
old bat replied well its a private thing bf it should be done in private.
to which i replied its up to the mum where she wants to do it.
then the old bat startd saying it has to be done in private because otherwise the baby gets distracted! as if to say you dont know what your talking about your just pregnant
i was so mad i tried my best to stick up for the mum
but it really shocked me and put me off breastfeeding

anyway now my point is my dd is 7 weeks old and excl bf,thanks to a LOT of help from the wonderful mumsnetters! [three cheers for them ]
and me and dh and dd are going out for lunch on sat as its our first wedding anniversary we are going back to the place where got married its an old elizabethan hall/ hotel
and very posh
i know im gonna have to feed dd as she is still b/feeding constantly
i dont know what to say if someone has a go at me though ,but i dont want stay couped up in the hous for ever either and why should i ?

how do you go about dealing with this?
do you have any hints and tips?
or even better quick one liners to say to rude people? be good to have a quick answer to fire back at anyone that wants to have a go !!
im not very good at thinking of something quick to say at the time,then i always think afterwards ....why didnt i say such and such !!

sorry this is so long xx

kittenbaby just go for it you are very unlikely to come up against any hostility and mn will provide you with lots of one-liners in case you do. I bf dd for 9 mths anywhere and everywhere and always secretly hoped to be asked to move so that I could have a wonderful time creating a scene, getting arrested etc. but it never happened.

I've never had anything other than misty eyed looks!
MrsFogi LOL at you wanting to get arrested

wow thanks for all the replies
im def gonna do it
i cant be trapped in the house for months
ill be sure to post back on here when i get home to let you all know how we get on !!

i honestly think that if anything had been said to me there would have been a queue of middle aged ladies sticking up for me!

Just smile and say " I do hope you don't mind, it's much better than them crying isn't it" and nod (that's very important, they will nod back) if you have to sit opposite someone in the middle of a crowded coffee house...this has always worked for me. You are being nice so they can't be nasty.

DS has been bf standing at an open air Bad Manners gig, Kwik Fit and Tesco's in the DVD section.
My local pub has got so used to it that now people ask for a pint of what he's having

im getting ready to leave soon
confidence boasted by you lovely lot xx
ill be sure to let you know how we get on
...........here we go xx

I was at the oval watching England vs South Africa when the steward noticed and came over. Expecting to be asked to move to the loo or somewhere hideous DH and I prepared for an arguement.
As it was lovely old guy just said I couldn't possibly be comfy as it was too crowded and too hot - and moved us down onto the outfield near the boundary !!! WE laid out babes blanket and sat there all afternoon - best seats in the house.
Only problem was that babe bit down whenever the crowd cheered and it was Devon Malcolms record breaking day !ouch.
Fed all three kids over the last 14 years including at rugby matches and on trains and in tresteraunts etc and never had a problem.

Another one here with no negative experiences. I've fed anywhere and everywhere and have only had offers of chairs/water etc

Have a lovely meal

I have never had any problems but did get funny looks in Russel and Bromley the other week None of the customers seemed to notice it was just that I was sat on a chair for so long not mving or trying on shoes! I had gone in with my sister and he started crying so I discretely fed him and then my sister left to go to another shop - leaving me there! They didn;t say anything - could just see them whispering and pointing at the till - the manager just looked up and carried on doing what she was doing.

There was a big hoo haa in Boots down in Paignton recently about a mum bf in there - I only found out after I told my mum - who lives there - that I fed in there because it was the only seat I could find in the dry!

I bf DS1 for 10 months and DS2 for 14 months and never had a single negative comments. I got a few funny looks but just ignored them. I fed anywhere and everywhere - trains, restaurants and even on the London Eye!

I think alot of people are too scared to comment tbh!

have a fantastic time kittenbaby, you deserve it
HC xx

This is my third time round and I've only had positive comments so far. Although yesterday I didn't have time to stop in a cafe and sat on a stone thing outside the mall, the teenage boy on the other end didn't know where to look

went to southport for the day yesterday and i bf on a bench outside the natwest on the main rd.few people kept wanting to have a good stare to which i stared straight back. dh said he felt like 'saying do you want to take a picture?'

I breastfeed my two sons just about everywhere and never had a problem although i did use some disgression ie if knew I needed to feed in a cafe I wouldnt choose a middle table but try and choose a quieter place. In the first few weeks I didnt really go out as I had probs with ds1 latching which usally meant getting my whole breast out and exposed for a while till he got in the right position but once we got the hang of it you can breastfeed very discreetly, many times i had people looking at my baby saying how cute he was asleep and cuddling up to me and they had no idea I was actually breastfeeding. I found wearing loose tops best so when you pull it up the excess material can cover any flesh. I have seen some women with buttoned tops but then you exposuring the whole of your breast so I found tops you can pull up best. I have also seen mums with, I cant remember what they called, the shawl that goes over yr head, they seem to work well 2. If you feel the place is 2 posh and u dont feel comfortable ask the staff if there is somewhere u can go im sure they will be happy 2 help. I really struggled at first with the bf in public but once you get the hang of it I didnt think twice about it. Good luck with yr birth and hope you have a lovely time away.

sorry u already had your baby I misread u due in 7 weeks

hi kittenbaby, glad you managed to keep up the bfing ! i only ever had positive comments, the only time i had disapproving stares was from older male generation who have just turned away - one time i thought i was going to get a comment when the lady just said ' oh better now, he'll be fine once he's had his grub' and then grinned at me ! other than that it's been fine, i use a muslin like someone else mentioned although i do find now that that actually makes it MORE obvious what i'm doing..

I've had some 'tut tut' type responses, I think these people are rather hung up and ashamed around any sort of natural procedure - they don't know what to do with the odd feelings and it comes out as anger against the breastfeeding mum.
I went with my close family to an 'Ask' restaurant in town when Ds1 was about 8 weeks old. It stated in our local guide that the restaurant was welcoming to Bf-ing mums, and when I rang to check, they said, yes, by all means - but on arriving and Ds needing a feed about half an hour into the visit, I asked where to go and was told by a grumpy young waitress that no, there was nowhere, it wasn't really catered for, and I'd have to go upstairs to the function room but be out soon as there was a party expected!
It really put me off, it was just so rude and made me feel ashamed when I shouldn't have.
I don't feed Ds2 very publicly, only in front of family and friends (some) and if I need to do it in town I'll sit somewhere very discreet - I basically find I feel too exposed otherwise, it is a private thing to me, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be done in public if necessary or if the mum is comfy with it.
I think I just am not self confident enough to cope with being looked at like I'm a freak and it really has happened to me plenty of times in this town.
I am sure most places are great though...just not my experience!

Talk of the would-be discretion of draping a blanket or a cloth to hide the bf prompts me to post - again! - about the ridiculous covers on sale:

www.bebeaulait.com/

I've been Bf for the last 3.5 years ( different babies) and i've never ever had a negative comment. Honestly. Maybe i too have a scary face

Gosh kittenbaby what a horrible incident. I can honestly say I fed four babieswhenever ans wherever I wanted until they were at least two years old. I fed on the tube, in church, in shops in cafes, on buses and in parks - literally anywhere I wanted.

Once, whien I was feeding at the side of the swimming pool an attendant came up and said, 'I don;t think this is the place to do this' and I was absolutely fuming. I said, 'And what on earth makes you think that you know where's the best place for me to feed my baby. How dare you?!' I also told her to go and get her manager if she wanted and I'd say the same to him.

Then there was a receptionist in the doctor's waiting room who said, sneeringly, 'Would you like a room for that?' and I just smiled and said, 'No thanks. I'm fine.'

These ignorant fools must be ignored or corrected. I have to say these were the only two comments I've had in my nine year breastfeeding history.

OMG tiktok! What are those covers supposed to be hiding? You mostly can't see anything anyway. Look like far more trouble than they are worth!

I'd probably stare if i saw someone wearing one of those - wondering what on earth they had underneath!

Those covers are hilarious - one picture in particular makes it look as if the woman is staring adoringly at her grocery shopping...