Breastfeeding is disgusting. What can I say?

[bohemianbint]

I was saying to my mum yesterday that I've virtually given up BF now, as DS who's almost 1 just won't have it anymore. She said, "well, it's disgusting to do it when they get older, it's a bit weird/league of Gentlemen/bitty and he's done it for long enough."

I could have said something about WHO guidelines etc but I know what the response would have been. I ended up saying nothing but on reflection last night I got more and more wound up about it. It's just totally disrespectful.

She's quite anti-BF; my parents came around when DS was days old and tried to pressure me into using formula, saying it's "just as good." Unfortunately I was in a fairly fragile state at the time and knew nothing about how BF works and with no facts to support me, so I couldn't justify my decision and sat there sobbing while they carried on making me feel like I was some hysterical hippy idiot. I was also told that my aunty "hopes I won't BF in public" - I mean, WTF?

There's clearly other issues at work here. My mum isn't my biological mother; bio-mother had a natural birth and BF, my mum forced herself through a horrendous birth with no pain relief so she wouldn't be outdone by bio-mother and I think that's whats going on with all this anti-BF bullshit.

Thing is, I'm doing quite a lot of things differently to how I was brought up and I get nothing but criticism - I'm getting very worn down by it and find it very disrespectful. I know something needs to be said but I'm not sure how to broach it, and unfortunately this morning I'm even thinking "wow, she can't have said the word disgusting can she?!" and doubting myself. I'm fairly sure she did though.

Not read all the thread but my answer would be

"it is as natural to breastfeed a baby as it is to have sex with a partner - so go choke on your cup of English tea"

Okay, so I started all reasonable, but as usual tend to get het up towards the end!

I should also have said MIL & step-FIL already think we're allowing DS to rule our lives and are being too over-protective, listening to health professionals and reading too many books, and BF is just another sign of him being over indulged!

I breast-fed my DS in front of my dad, he had been a nurse before retirement. Both parents very supportive, I was bf 9mths by mum. Dad said he remembered as a child, young mums in his house and his mum giving advice and support in mothering, she was the matriarch of the street. And he remembered some were bfing, but it was so normal in those days 1930's as to be unremarkable. Now it seems to be the opposite, people openly showing their disgust especially if you try to feed in public places. I remember some of my much older cousins bottle feeding their babies because the midwives told them formula was best in late 60's early 70's. Wish I had managed more than 6mths but baby gave up!

I was taken aback by a conversation between bfing women in which most indicated that they thought bfing past 6 months was wrong - I think at least one remained quiet in the conversation as I did. I failed at bf - was struggling and then had a major medical intervention at a week old, but if I have another baby and do better, I would hope to continue beyond 6 months if i can.

my mum is forever coming up with little comments about breastfeeding. Anything negative she can find- the latest was the vitamin d thing. she keeps asking how long I'm going to bf dd (9months). She told me that bf once baby is walking looks wrong. Last time she asked me,whilst feeding how long I was going to continue to b feed dd and I just said about ten minutes and changed the subject.
My MIL said in a loud voice 'I thought you were getting her off that now' at a big family do the other day.
I think they feel a bit guilty/inadequate about it tbh. The certainly don't understand it.
You could try a big discussion with her- you know your relationship best.My parents have never accepted that I may have a valid opinion on anything so I don't bother confronting them,I just ignore as much as possible. It still hurts me a lot though.

Can someone explain the 'bitty' comments please? Never heard that before.

I didn't realise that bf was actually discouraged in the late '60's/'70's! My mum bf her children until we self-weaned, her attitude was that was what her boobs were for!

Reading thus thread has made me realise how lucky I have been to come from a family where bf is the 'done' thing, all the women in the family bf, as far as I know.

Certainly helped me ennormousely to have such a supportive mum around when I was struggling with dd...lot's of cups of tea and chocolate!

I really admire anyone who even tries to bf without support of family and partners in particular.
My dp was very supportive, later found out he thought that if you didn't at least bf colostrum that the baby would die...in his defence, he's more used to horses. Idiot.

Little Britain did the whole extended breastfeeding thing for comedy value, iykwim...

My DH was very pro b/feeding and had thought it was the right route, rather than me pre and during pregnancy who had never really thought about it.

I b/fed til dd was 19 months, I'm probably one of the first of my family to do so, but I pride myself on the fact that my older sister who does not yet have children is now very pro b/feeding and wants to do the same with her children when she has them.

FIL was very supportive, he was one of the "get 'em out and feed her, its natural" brigrade, though I rarely fed in front of others, not because I thought it was wrong but because I was uncomfortable getting my norks out in front of everybody!!

Thanks, 3andnomore.