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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Stopping breastfeeding toddler

54 replies

Blahblahblahyadayadayada · 03/06/2019 19:37

Any magic tricks? I have a 2 year 2 month old breastfeeding addict. I’m really regretting exclusive breastfeeding now! First thing in the morning, after I return from work and before bed. Distraction only goes so far. I heard about applying salt and Vaseline to the breast but I am worried she will either lick it off or enjoy the taste as she quite likes savoury food! I could try the nail biting fluid but again I suspect she will just find a way to work around it. I suspect it’ll have to be cold turkey but I will consider other options!

OP posts:

sausageandrashers · 03/06/2019 19:39

Following as in the same boat. I want my body back!! And some sleep!

Isadora2007 · 03/06/2019 19:42

Dr jay gordon night weaning method and reduce from there. Understand that it’s more than “just milk” it’s comfort and milk and love all in one... so don’t be TOO harsh about it.

IABUQueen · 03/06/2019 19:45

My mum tried putting black coffee on her nipple and when my baby brother tasted it he hated it and stopped going for it.

I still find it brutal lolZ

Hoping to wean mine in 2 Months so following with interest

Original poster

Blahblahblahyadayadayada · 03/06/2019 19:49

I am utterly fed up and really annoyed about it. Is Jay gordon the gentle sleep guy? I’ll look it up. I get that it is more than milk but frankly she doesn’t need it. I even thought if I felt so badly about it the milk would taste different but nothing puts her off. I just don’t want to be breastfeeding a four year old.

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RangerLady · 03/06/2019 19:53

We had to switch to my husband doing bedtime. The first few nights she was NOT happy but as she was with loving parent it was hardly cry it out. She very quickly got over it. Then we just fed mornings. Then I went away for work for 3 nights and bingo! So, daddy and a spa break?

MrTumbleTumble · 03/06/2019 19:54

Have you tried reducing the feeds rather than stopping cold turkey?

Back from work should be fairly easy to distract away from - cuddles, snacks, playing together, reading stories etc. Then you may be able to stretch it so that the only feed you do in the evening is the bed time one.

Have you a DP? They can do night wakings, offering cuddles and water and sympathy that they don't get milk at night time any more. Then after a few days you can gradually start pitching in again, sticking to your mantra of "It's night time, we don't have milk at night time. Would you like some water / a cuddle?"

After that it's just a case of dropping the last feed, which should be more simple.

ACertainRation · 03/06/2019 19:54

Jay Gordon is great, helped DS1 and DS2 stop waking for feeds at around 2 years old. There was a bit of complaining screaming though...

DS2 was 3 last month and still has boob before bed and, if he's at home, before a nap. I'll wait a bit longer before stopping the last feed.

Original poster

Blahblahblahyadayadayada · 03/06/2019 19:54

She doesn’t wake in the night usually for feeds (touchwood). I did a sort of controlled crying/jay Gordon night weaning to tackle that. Miss bottle refuser wouldn’t even take expressed milk from a cup. Ever. Now she will drink normal milk from a cup just fine in nursery but not at home with me. I get that it’s not the milk but the comfort but she isn’t exactly uncomfortable.

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Backhometothenorth · 03/06/2019 19:56

I told both of mine that the milk stopped when they were two and prepared them for it by talking about it lots for about a week then just stopped and stuck to my guns with lots of cuddles and kindness- they were both a bit sad at this news but accepted it and were surprisingly fine about it when it actually happened. You don't need any tricks just be honest. Oh and I had to keep covered up for a while- swimsuit in the bath if we shared

bobstersmum · 03/06/2019 19:57

In same boat! Although I don't really mind so much at the moment especially as she's got chicken pox and it's really helped her through.

Original poster

Blahblahblahyadayadayada · 03/06/2019 19:58

Ranger, I think I’d have to move out for a month. I’ve thought about it lots. We have a stubborn one. This would be so much simpler if it came from her that she doesn’t want to do this anymore. That’s why I was thinking of cold turkey or nail biting solution so it just seems repulsive to her. I’ve tried telling her big girls don’t do this, her friends don’t do this etc
It’s just embarrassing now.

OP posts:

Original poster

Blahblahblahyadayadayada · 03/06/2019 20:00

Backhome she is REALLY loud and screamy. It’s the screaming I can’t deal with. Not because it is saddening but because it is just so loud. She pushes me out of the way in the kitchen if I’m doing something and she wants me in the living room.

OP posts:

BlueRaincoat1 · 03/06/2019 20:01

I breastfed til my DS turned 2, but by then it was night feed only. I think I distracted him away from the morning feed by changing the routine a bit.

I was absolutely dreading losing the bedtime feed , I thought it would be a nightmare but it was fine in the end. I talked to him about it on the 2nd last night - explained that tomorrow would be the last time he had milk before bed but that he would get to have supper instead (a small biscuit) . He was sad, but the next day I kept banging on about how exciting supper was going to be, and it worked.

Also got him a new cup for water which he brought up to his room with him. After all my worrying he literally never asked for milk again. I couldnt believe it.

Original poster

Blahblahblahyadayadayada · 03/06/2019 20:05

You all have very understanding children. There’s no distracting or fooling her. I’ve tried so many different cups, alternatives, distractions. I am so fed up with it. How many days for it to dry up and not be smellable?

OP posts:

cattaxi · 03/06/2019 20:07

My boy was a huge breastfeeding addict & I wandered if we would ever stop at some points.
I gradually cut down until he was only having 30 seconds or so on each side before bed. Then I just said one day that there wasn’t any milk left. He took it way better than I ever imagined he would.
He found cutting the morning feed more difficult, but was fine about that after a few days.
Good luck 🍀

Original poster

Blahblahblahyadayadayada · 03/06/2019 20:12

Thank you. I’m sure some of you can relate to just how irritating this can be.

Has anyone tried the salt method, by the way?

OP posts:

Lou573 · 03/06/2019 20:12

I had one of those, everyone told me she’d self wean but it didn’t happen! I just cut her off cold turkey, kept boobs under wraps for a while. There’s some tantrums but they forget about it pretty quickly.

Backhometothenorth · 03/06/2019 20:13

Honestly my DD1 was the same and totally boob obsessed. I just kept telling her it was gone and that was that. Does she like ice cream as that also helped?!

Original poster

Blahblahblahyadayadayada · 03/06/2019 20:17

Backathome, she does but I don’t think I can offer that before bed as well as at breakfast time. Although we would all probably leave for work feeling very happy if we all had ice cream for breakfast!
There may be something in shortening the feeds as she does seem to be taking less during the after work feed, so maybe soon. I also keep thinking if she is teething then that won’t be a great time to stop.

OP posts:

EleanorofCastile · 03/06/2019 20:21

I’m still bf my 2.7 month old at bedtime, and am 38 weeks pregnant. BUT I did manage to stop morning feeds by distracting her and it was actually not too bad. She used to come into my bed (DP or I would get her from her cot) feed in bed with me, so I had to make sure I was up and busy. Can you start with that one first?

I actually stopped the post work feed ages before that by telling her no and putting the TV on. But definitely try to drop 1 feed at a time. It will be easier on your body too!

I have no current plan to drop the evening feeds but I would like to!!! It’s just the easiest way to get her to sleep!

HildaSnibbs · 03/06/2019 20:22

It's really hard - I've weaned two very enthusiastic feeders - DD2 was actually harder to do - but when it comes down to it , it really is about just stopping and saying it's all gone. It sounds brutal and it feels awful when they are so distressed and I do think you have to be available for cuddles and reassurance as much as possible but just don't back down.

I do think it's really important to lead up it over a week or so with cutting down feeds and talking about it being nearly all gone. We also had a book called Mummy Milk is all Gone which I got from Amazon which we read a lot in the lead up to stopping and afterwards. She still likes to read it sometimes now nearly 2 years later! Good luck...

HildaSnibbs · 03/06/2019 20:22

Also in the morning we started a new touring of warm dilute apple juice in a sucky cup which was a good distraction

MadeForThis · 03/06/2019 20:23

Tell her it hurts you?

I used jay Gordon to night wean at 22 months. Then as that was happening I told her that boobs would stop working in the daytime soon. Took about 2 weeks to fully night wean. Angry shouting and hitting which gradually stopped. Then after feeding to sleep for one daytime nap I told her it had stopped.

She asked once then never again.

MadeForThis · 03/06/2019 20:25

Make sure you wear clothes that she can't access.

MustardScreams · 03/06/2019 20:27

Dd was just like this! Boob obsessed. I honestly thought I’d be feeding her till she was 30.

In the end I didn’t really do anything. I just tried to have longer and longer stretches between feeds. Stopped all day time feeds so she only had one before bed. She kicked off of course, but I just rode it out and didn’t give her any attention. She soon realised it didn’t work.

Then I’d miss a day of bf so she only had it every other night. When I could go 2/3/4 days in between I just told her the milk had run out and there wasn’t any left. She asks for it regularly, but I just remind her the milk is gone and she’s fine. I miss not bf now though which is ridiculous because I was sick to bloody death of it!!

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