Stopping breastfeeding toddler

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Any magic tricks? I have a 2 year 2 month old breastfeeding addict. I’m really regretting exclusive breastfeeding now! First thing in the morning, after I return from work and before bed. Distraction only goes so far. I heard about applying salt and Vaseline to the breast but I am worried she will either lick it off or enjoy the taste as she quite likes savoury food! I could try the nail biting fluid but again I suspect she will just find a way to work around it. I suspect it’ll have to be cold turkey but I will consider other options!

She was 2.3 when we stopped btw.

My friend put plasters on hers and told her dd they were sore!

Mine was an avid feeder and I stopped just before he turned three because I'd had enough! Basically, bribery worked for us. I started to talk to him about how Mummy had nearly run out of milk because he'd drunk it all, and that soon he would stop having milk and the Milk Fairy would bring him a big-boy present when he did.

We dropped the night feed (with DP doing bedtime), don't remember too much of a problem with that. Then after a week or so we dropped the morning feed - that led to total outrage but only for a day or two. You have to be quite clear in your own mind that you want to stop, I think - I was but still felt v guilty despite lots of cuddles.

After three days of no milk at all, the Milk Fairy brought him a special toy just like the one he plays with at Granny's house. And that was that! He would occasionally ask, but we explained once the Milk Fairy brought the toy, that was it and the milk went.

Think it was easier because he was older - I spent ages agonising over it and really wanted him to self-wean but it just wasn't happening!

I've told mine the boobs were sleeping. Just repeat and stick to it. Had protesting with my second DC but she accepted it although still asks months later!

Thank you.
No guilt from my end; I’ve had enough. Been fed up for over a year. I just need to find a time of year where I can afford to be late to work due to tantrums etc. And when DH can help out.
My older DC was discussing this with me and expressed concern in case she was still doing this when she is a grown up!

Good luck with it op

I cut the day feeds completely then the morning feed then last at night, then through the night (bad sleepers) and for a few days their settled them with a cup of milk, took less than a week but they were not depending on it then, worked for both

It's really hard. I fed until she was 4 and ready to give it up herself. I was pleased she was able to self wean, I don't know how o would have done it otherwise

I followed The No-Cry Sleep Solution. It worked!

I'll get roasted on here, but I tried the whole it's finished cuddles only etc and found dd got really upset and just clawed at my top screaming so gave in and continued. A few months later I put plasters on my nipples so when she went she just had cuddles she didn't make a fuss at all. She still puts her hand on my boobs and cuddles in when tired, but I don't mind that.

Hmmm, I get how irritating and wearying it is but it shouldn’t be embarrassing. It’s completely natural for her to want that milk and comfort! In terms of stopping, both DS1 and DS3 were a struggle but were well warned (aged 3) and when the final feed was cut, bribery with a massive toy helped! And with DS3, finally stopping feeding really helped my patience with him - I was just so fed up of feeding. DS2 self-weaned at 21 months - a million times easier! Good luck.

Watching for ideas. Dd2 is also 2.2yo and completely obsessed. She has a big feed in the morning, feeds to sleep at night and wants milk if she’s hurt etc. I don’t have the mental energy to deal with stopping right now but I need to soon.

I stopped feeding her big sister at 22 months but she got a stinking cold and physically couldn’t feed for a few days so I just carried it on after that so I’ve never planned to stop feeding before!

I fed until mine was 2 years and 3 months and then had to go away for work or something (can't quite remember now). I had got it down to only feeding at night. We stopped the morning feed by not lying in bed with her and making sure that I was not accessible in the morning and fully dressed before. Then I was away for 2 nights and DH put her to bed with no boobs (obviously!) and she was fine.

I did have fears about her still doing it dressed in school uniform but my fears were unfounded. Good luck OP. It will seem like a distant memory soon enough (my DD is 8 now and it really does seem a whole age ago).

Either that, or get pregnant - apparently that puts them off! DS stopped feeding all by himself at 18 months as I was pregnant with DD.

I know someone who did the big girl talk, along the lines of:
'Big girls don't breastfeed. You are a big girl now', maybe use an upcoming date, birthday is good, or even: 'you are nearly 2 years and 3 months!! wow! I think you won't need to breastfeed any more when you are 2 years and 3 months old.'
It worked for my friend. A few days after the birthday, her girl refused to be breastfed!
I tried the same, but I wasn't persistend in the build up. So it didn't work for me. Worth a try though.
Good luck.

You should absolutely stop if you want to - never doubt that, but please don't try to shame your daughter into stopping. It really quite horrible to hear that your telling her her friends don't do it and she needs to grow up, as if needing your mum is something a 2 year old should grow out of.

Its a lie for one thing..SHE doesn't need this to stop, or to grow up, or to copy her friends, or to be shamed...all of those are very bad long term messages to send.

So tell her the truth! YOU need it to stop (for entirely valid reasons) and so it will be stopping.

Own your decision and don't put it onto her.

I had to do the same thing with a few months older DD, but I never tried to convince her it was what SHE wanted. I told her I knew she wanted to continue, that she would miss it very much, and that it might make her unhappy for a little bit, but I couldn't do it anymore so we would have to stop.

Validating your child's emotions is usually better approach than trying to gaslight them.

I had to wear polonecks to bed and clamp my arm around my tummy to stop her invading from underneath. She's now three and a bit and has only recently given up taking every opportunity for a grope under the guise of "feeding the baby sister" (she would have a good old feel then transfer her hand to my pregnant tummy). Baby sister is 2 weeks old now; 3yo likes to help a bit when she's feeding but is gentle so I don't mind.

I tried putting all kinds of crap on my nips and she just feeds past it. She’s not giving up. I have managed to reduce how often by offering cuddles instead so just about (some nights) knocked the night feeding on the head. It’s how she falls asleep too so I’m screwed.

I breastfed 2 both for 2 yrs and a bit 12 years apart. My daughter - just told her no and she stopped - cried for a couple of days then fine. My son on the other hand is nearly 7 and still longs for it everyday - I put lemon on nipples and it did not work, so continued for 3 months, then put pure cod liver oil (very fishy and smelly- medicinal) on nipples, 1st night he cried but continued drinking, 2nd night made him aware that its smelly, he looked at it and refused. Slept through straight away, whereas breastfeeding he woke up every couple of hours. I hated myself for a bit, but as i say he would still be drinking if I did not stop him.

Limiting the time of feeds is one of the most successful methods I've heard of among my friends. I also used to use it when DS1 was messing around at bedtime or when I couldn't stand the feeling any more. Time a feed now and see how long she usually takes, then start from there. If she doesn't know numbers yet I bet you can download an animated sand timer app or something that you can set to different times. Just slowly cut it down. I got DS1 down to ten second feeds before he weaned without any fuss (he was older though).

I've really enjoyed breastfeeding my two (they're 27 months apart but they and I loved breastfeeding so they tandem fed for 28 months and each girl only stopped a few months after turning 4). However, I appreciate some mums want/need to stop earlier! EleanorofCastile watch out for stronger contractions if you're still breastfeeding during the early stages of labour - it certainly sped up my contractions and made them stronger (effects of oxytocin that I wasn't aware of!!!)

You can call one of those free national breastfeeding support lines like NCT or La Leche. They'll all give great info about weaning, especially a boob monster toddler! Or there are free breastfeeding counsellors at Baby Cafes or trained breastfeeding peer supporters at groups who will have their own experience of weaning toddlers. Good luck. Boob emoji.

Place marking as on a similar position was hoping by now 2y4m DS would have better speech and comprehension so we could do an all gone story. Even after a large bottle milk at night he will fully comes for breast milk chaser !

My DD is 30 months now. I’m ready. I just don’t want to take away something she loves. But urgh. So ready.

I had to go away for 3 days with my older kids and leave my husband and 2.3 year old. That was after trying everything else. She was v stubborn and I had already massively reduced. She still wants of cuddles/skin to skin/ touching my neck etc - she is just v touchy/feely. She never had a bottle or dummy but 6 months later she seeks those out occasionally for comfort.

Thank you for the suggestions. I will probably tackle one feed at a time. M3lon, thank you, but I have never told her she does not need me.
Another pregnancy isn’t an option but revisiting the big girl talk might be (right now she doesn’t care).