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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Breastfeeding in public

50 replies

Slytherin212 · 09/05/2019 16:35

So, I'm breastfeeding my daughter, who is 12 days old. We've only just managed to get the hang of it (kind of). I've been told to wait a few more weeks before pumping and using a bottle for her feeds which is fine, I'm enjoying the bonding.
The issue I'm having though is taking her out. I'm constantly worried about having to feed her in public, in case of people saying something rude or being told to leave due to someone having a problem with it. At the moment she's feeding almost every hour. I'm just not sure what to do, I don't want to have to stay hidden inside but the thought of someone moaning at me for feeding her just makes me panic.

OP posts:

NuffingChora · 09/05/2019 16:38

Breastfed for 16 months, in an area where feeding rates absolutely go off a cliff after a couple of months. Did it here, there and everywhere. With a cover initially (though wouldn’t bother next time) then without once baby bigger and a bit more tit coverage! Not once did I ever have anything even remotely resembling a negative comment. Lots of glasses of water offered, coffees carried, even a high five once!

Try not to worry, honestly most people won’t even notice. Feed with pride!

RaptorWhiskers · 09/05/2019 16:41

I preferred to throw a pashmina over my shoulder. In most cases nobody even noticed I was feeding. There were a few occasions early on where I noticed dirty old men having a good look, which is why I started using the pashmina. And if anyone asks you to leave, you simply say No. You’re perfectly within your rights to feed your baby.

NanooCov · 09/05/2019 16:43

Breastfed my first until 2 years and 3 months and still breastfeeding second at 19 months. Have never had a single comment in all that time. Don't worry. You'll be fine. Perfect a resting bitch face / long hard stare as a fallback but honestly I'm sure you'll be grand.

ParadiseLaundry · 09/05/2019 16:43

I remember feeling like this when DS was tiny. I wasn't sure if someone had said something if I would burst into tears or rip their head off!

After feeding (often publicly) for 3 years without anyone saying anything my confidence grew and now I'm pg with no 2 DH assures me he is confident it would be the head-ripping scenario now, and I'm sure he's right!

I do think it's quite rare that people would be openly critical of someone bf in public and it's important to remember that legally no one can stop you from feeding anywhere. At first I felt more comfortable in the 'mums' cafe we have locally which is very baby friendly and seeing other women bf there gave me more confidence to feed too, also chain places like Costa were also a place I felt more comfortable. Is there anywhere like that close to you you could go just to get out and about and build your confidence?

Willowkoko · 09/05/2019 16:44

I fed my daughter everywhere, I wore her in a sling during baby days which made it easier. It was quite easy to be discrete, I wore nursing tops and occcasionally had a Muslim cloth over her. Never had anyone comment at all, if anyone did say anything I’d be quick to tell them to do one. Good luck op.

SparklesandFlowers · 09/05/2019 16:47

I feed my 4-month-old here there and everywhere, never had any negative comments. I quite often don't cover either.

caoraich · 09/05/2019 16:48

I've breastfed for 6 months so far in an area where it's very uncommon after 6 weeks. I have never had any comments / dirty looks or anything. Sometimes people are kind and e.g. in a cafe will offer to swap seats so I get a more comfy one for feeding in.

My baby hates having her face covered so a pashmina / muslin never worked for me but what have been great are happy mama tops with flaps. With a nursing bra you literally just open the flap and unclip and only the nipple / area around it is exposed and then obviously covered by baby. I found these great when feeding her in midwinter as it keeps you cosy too! Chicco Jack's also do great and discreet feeding goodies with zips.

When I was first out and about i went places that i knew were feeding friendly- for example baby cinema (as my OH described it "a sea of boob") and if you Google breastfeeding friendly cafes there's a website where you can find ones who have signed up to a feeding friendly charter thing. Baby groups and things like rhyme time in libraries are also good as first trips out with baby and places to practice feeding out and about to get your confidence up. Good luck!

Pipandmum · 09/05/2019 16:53

I fed mine everywhere. First time in a restaurant when he was five days old and just two days out of hospital. I was discreet, but never had so much as a second glance most of the time. I do remember once an older gentleman coming up to me afterwards and saying how happy he was that women felt comfortable enough now to nurse in public and how great that was. Hurrah!

Poppins2016 · 09/05/2019 16:55

DS is 7 months and I've only experienced people being positive/helpful. I used muslins/scarves to cover up at first, but quickly realised that nobody cared!

My top tip... I like to use the 'double top' trick (I don't wear nursing clothes as I hate the 'pregnancy' fit now my tummy has gone down!). I wear a vest top under another top and pull the top layer up and the vest down. If wearing a V neck dress, I pull the vest up and the dress across/down. I find this discreet (covers flesh well!) and most people can't tell the different between feeding and simply cradling the baby.

DramaAlpaca · 09/05/2019 17:00

It was over 20 years ago now for me, but I breastfed all of mine in public and never even once did I have a negative comment. The first few times with DC1 were scary though, I worried in case anyone said anything, but nobody ever did. I did keep quite well covered up because I was more comfortable that way, probably no-one even noticed what I was doing.

Whitelisbon · 09/05/2019 17:00

I've fed all 5 of mine all over the place, and never had any negative comments.

Most people don't even notice - I've shared this before, but I was feeding dc5 (6 weeks ish at the time) in a cafe, and an elderly gentleman stopped to ask all the normal questions- how old, what's she called, is she good, etc etc. He chatted away for a couple of minutes, telling me about his grandkids, then stroked dds head, and bent down and gave her a kiss. He then wandered back over to sit down with his wife, who told him I was feeding the baby, at which point poor elderly gent went purple, and almost crawled under the table.
His wife came over to apologise, and we had a giggle about it, but hed genuinely not noticed, despite looking at her and chatting to me.
What I'm trying to say is, don't worry, just go with the flow.

Phillipa12 · 09/05/2019 17:08

I breastfed 2 of my dc, i always wore a vest top underneath my normal top so i was pretty much covered, i have also never received any negative comments, infact quite the opposite. There was the young business man sat opposite me on the train who helped cut up my breakfast as dc was feeding, he couldnt have cared less, right through to the two elderly ladies who told me that i didnt have to move to breastfeed if i didnt want to in the middle of a service at a cathedral. No one hears the positive breastfeeding stories, only the negative.

putputput · 09/05/2019 17:13

I've breast fed everywhere, and my daughter would never tolerate any sort of cover. Never received a single negative comment, did get lots of lovely comments and one very lovely lady who cut up my food and brought me a drink! Once you've done it a couple of times it gets so much easier.

Eyebrows2016 · 09/05/2019 17:20

I’ve also never had any negative experiences and also recommend the best top thing. The only time I’ve used a cover is in a swimming costume on holiday.

For your first outings can you meet up with some supportive friends? You know they’d have your back if anyone said anything and I think you’ll pretty soon feel that people aren’t that bothered.

ParadiseLaundry · 09/05/2019 17:25

There was the young business man sat opposite me on the train who helped cut up my breakfast as dc was feeding, he couldnt have cared less, right through to the two elderly ladies who told me that i didnt have to move to breastfeed if i didnt want to in the middle of a service at a cathedral.

That's so lovely! When DS was 2 we were at a wedding in a castle (an actual freezing old castle with no electricity or anything) and when he kicked off at the service I took him out to bf him as I knew he was sleepy. I sat down and started to feed and a man who worked there rushed over and urged me to get close to the big roaring fire to be more comfortable and brought over some sheepskins for me to sit on and cover DS in. It was amazing, like bf in Game of Thrones it got even better when DH came out and brought me a glass of wine

Orangehandtowel · 09/05/2019 17:27

I breastfed ds until 15 months and I'm currently feeding 13 week old DD.

Never had any bad comments about it. I even fed of ds's school trip yesterday and none of the children or parents bat an eye lid. (I actually live in a rough area where breastfeeding is very unusual).
The more you feed the more you get the hang of it and the more confident you get about public feeding.

DulcieRay · 09/05/2019 17:43

Get a pashmina, big scarf or giant Muslin, and breastfeeding bras and layered tops. It makes such a difference Wearing the right clothing. I honestly don't think you can tell if somebody is feeding discreetly. However, i do think it gets easier and actually after the first few times your confidence does grow.

bakebakebake · 09/05/2019 17:48

I have never had someone make any bad comments to me and i fed DD until 2.5yr and I've been feeding DS for 12m now.

I did have someone giving me dirty looks (an older woman) so i just stared at her until she looked away.

Blossom28 · 09/05/2019 17:49

It is so unlikely anyone would ever say anything negative. I think a lot of people actually make it up for attention 🤔

BogglesGoggles · 09/05/2019 17:51

I breast fed for three years in total. Never covered up to do it. Literally the only comments I got were positive. With all the formula shaking these days I’d be more concerned about feeding out of s bottle tbh.

NewSchoolNewName · 09/05/2019 19:49

I’ve breastfed 2 of my DC for over 2 yrs each, there’s been plenty of public breastfeeding, and I’ve never had a single negative look or comment. The only comments I’ve had have been positive ones.

I think a lot of people don’t even notice.

I had one experience with a school mum that really showed me how unobservant people can be about it. I’d taken DS1 to a party, the sort where the parents have to stick around, and I was sitting down breastfeeding DC3, who was a few months old at the time. This other mum came and sat down next to me, and we had a long chat. During the chat, DC3 switched sides, and after DC3 finished the breastfeed I adjusted my top etc. After I’d done all this, the other mum asked me how I was feeding DC3. Was I breastfeeding him or using formula? I couldn’t quite believe that she hadn’t noticed anything, but she was being totally serious. She’d been completely oblivious to DC3 breastfeeding.

BertrandRussell · 09/05/2019 19:54

I was desperate for someone to say something to me about bf- I was an older mum and felt perfectly confident to say something. But nobody ever did. All I got was free cups of tea, offers of water and once a whole first class compartment on a train all to myself and free tea

whatsnewchoochoo · 09/05/2019 20:58

Remember you cannot legally he asked to leave from breastfeeding in public

DrWhy · 09/05/2019 21:05

I’ve literally never had a negative comment about breastfeeding. Like others I’ve been given glasses of water, had a lady offer to cut up my lunch for me and someone else insist on buying my drink when I’d had to feed DD rather than get in the massive queue. I’ve also had two people ask if they could have a cuddle, not realising I was feeding! I have a mix of breastfeeding specific tops and the vest and loose top combo. I try to be discrete but DD does now come on and off a bit at 6 months and I’m a bit past caring! I actually find it really easy to get out and about as there is no bottle prep up worry about and it’s an instant way to quiet them if they start grumbling.

lookingatthings · 09/05/2019 22:20

Breastfeeding for 7w and felt exactly the same as you at first but I've found the no one batted an eyelid! Also large supermarkets and shopping centers often have feeding rooms (seperate from the toilets, which was important for me)
Sometimes I use a cover and others I don't. I did buy a few feeding tops which I find very comfortable as I have larger breasts.

All in all its been a very positive experience, unlike what I was expecting.

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