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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Breastfeeding in public

50 replies

Slytherin212 · 09/05/2019 16:35

So, I'm breastfeeding my daughter, who is 12 days old. We've only just managed to get the hang of it (kind of). I've been told to wait a few more weeks before pumping and using a bottle for her feeds which is fine, I'm enjoying the bonding.
The issue I'm having though is taking her out. I'm constantly worried about having to feed her in public, in case of people saying something rude or being told to leave due to someone having a problem with it. At the moment she's feeding almost every hour. I'm just not sure what to do, I don't want to have to stay hidden inside but the thought of someone moaning at me for feeding her just makes me panic.

OP posts:
SquigglePigs · 09/05/2019 22:36

I felt the same at first but now with my 5 month and old I'll feed her pretty much anywhere (most of the duration of a wedding service recently!).

I found the often described 2 tops combo didn't work for me (too erm... generous of boob for that!) so I just have a cardigan or wrap that I can use if I need to (side boob view generally being a bigger issue than anything else).

I've never had negative comments and have also had people chatting then suddenly apologising when they realise I'm feeding.

I felt nervous and uncomfortable the first few times but once you've done it a bit it won't feel like a big deal. I'd recommend a couple of coffees put with your partner/parents/friends so you can feed in public but with friendly faces the first few times.

kidsmakesomuchwashing · 09/05/2019 22:39

I breastfed my first child and had no comments at all. I'm now unable to breastfeed my second child for medical reasons and I've had way more comments about bottle feeding this child! You can't win, but you can ignore :-) x

BridgetDarcy · 09/05/2019 22:43

I bought cover up things and never used them. Fed everywhere. Never experienced any issue. Would be discrete and managed to feed walking/baby wearing etc. Happy to send you my brand new and never used cover up things if it would help?

HoustonBess · 09/05/2019 22:51

Try feeding at home in front of a mirror. You'll be surprised how little you can actually see when the baby is latched on.

Pretty soon I think you also just work out that you don't give two fucks if some old dinosaur disapproves.

OnlyRealButterWillDo · 09/05/2019 22:57

I've breastfed three kids in an area where I've not seen anyone else doing it. I didn't use covers (to me they're like a huge neon sign saying "NIPPLES HERE!") but used nursing tops and no one ever really noticed. In all the years of BFing not one single person ever said a thing and I'm pretty sure I didn't get so much as a funny look either.

The rare instances of people having a go are rare but well publicised. No one ever tells stories of the times no one said a thing but one single story about a nutter having a go spreads like wildfire.

Rosebud1985 · 09/05/2019 22:59

My daughter (first baby) is 6 month and EBF. At first I was quite nervous about feeding in public but I live in a pretty liberal area and no one bats an eyelid. The only attention I’ve had is the odd encouraging smile.

If you double layer your clothing, so you have a maternity strappy top underneath and a top/T-shirt/jumper over the top, you can pull the strappy top down and the other top up. This will leave you feeling less exposed.

TurquoiseLagoon · 09/05/2019 23:02

I was nervous at first too but as pp have said, people either don't notice or don't care. And anyone who does notice is just really helpful. I do the two vest thing, one top goes down, one top goes up and boob pops out in between. The most I've ever flashed my boob is ironically when trying to keep a scarf modestly in place to cover me up. I was so busy adjusting it towards the middle of my body I didn't realise I'd pulled it too far and was flashing boob out the side! A pashmina can be helpful or a muslin cloth. I didn't know what to do with the cloth for ages but I think you literally just hold it over whatever part of your chest that's exposed due to however your outfit unbuttons/moves aside.

Try in a quiet cafe facing the wall for your first time. And remember, people would rather a quiet breast fed baby than a crying baby who wants boob now but you're trying to gather up your bits and pieces to go somewhere secluded.

Best of luck, enjoy your baby snuggles

Celebelly · 09/05/2019 23:03

After so many issues getting my DD to the breast, I've given up caring about being discreet so don't use covers and probably some people have seen my nipple as DD sometimes bobs on and off a little when latching. But no one has ever said anything or even looked in my direction. I've fed her in the library, cafe, restaurant, Asda car park, in front of relatives, cinema... I actually feel proud of us when we are out and feeding as it's been a tough road for us to get here!

fullprice · 09/05/2019 23:08

I wear vest under and jumper on top and its almost impossible to tell I’m feeding
No one has ever said a negative word or issued me with a hostile look. If people have noticed they have all smiled.
I’m very self conscious about my body and hated the idea that people would see anything. But it’s really very discreet.: obviously the first few weeks are trickiest when you are working on latching but after that it becomes so comfortable::
Good luck

BertieBotts · 09/05/2019 23:09

Don't worry, the reason you hear of rude comments and people getting kicked out of places is because it's so rare it's news. Honestly never happened to me with either child. DS1 breastfed in public until about 18 months, DS2 is 8 months old now. I have always just sat down wherever I happened to be.

Celebelly · 09/05/2019 23:09

Also after reading horror stories here and elsewhere I was ready with a death stare to ward off all the judgemental looks and comments. But literally no one has ever commented and I've realised that no one has the slightest bit of interest what I'm doing. A part of me is slightly disappointed as I would love to 'discuss' it with anyone who has a problem with it! Grin

2dogsand1baby · 09/05/2019 23:28

@Slytherin212 Thanks for posting this - DS is 7 days old. I'm EBF too and we're yet to venture out. Feeling much more confident after reading all the positive stories in this thread!

PS. I'm in Slytherin too!

Alyosha · 10/05/2019 20:19

I breastfeed very indiscreetly and no one has ever said anything. The most looks I got were ironically enough in the canteen at the Department of Health!

Copperandtod · 10/05/2019 20:24

Think about how you are going to cover yourself when feeding and when latching on. Then you are good to go

CushyButtercup · 10/05/2019 20:27

Like other posters I prepared what I would say when confronted with people who were negative about breastfeeding. Like others I only ever encountered positive and encouraging comments. Fed my two sons for over a year each in many odd locations. Now when I see breastfeeding mothers I smile and feel nostalgic for those days.

Ploppymoodypants · 10/05/2019 20:31

Exclusively BF DD for 6 mo the now. Never a negative comment or even a hard stare.
Small children like to come over and see what baby is doing
Older children and teenagers seem to just think it’s the norm and seem to not really notice
Lots of middle age women and older ladies smile knowingly
Lots of support from other mums
You become invisible to young hot men so they don’t notice
Hipster type dads in cafes and places like to show how woke they are by bringing you glasses of water
Middle Ages men do notice abc then try really hard and obviously to be supportive by exaggeratingly looking away 😁

It’s been a liberating education for me. I have fed in Ikea showroom, in Father Christmas, grotto and on the Santa express, at a funeral, a party, a football match, in a pub, in church. It’s all been just fine.

Congratulations on your baby, well done for BF and enjoy

Ploppymoodypants · 10/05/2019 20:33

Oh yes and I ha e never mastered doing it descreetly. I just wop a boob out. But they are v small

firstimemamma · 10/05/2019 20:33

Search on YouTube for Emily Norris breastfeeding in public tips Smile

I bf my 9 month old ds everywhere and love it. Sometimes elderly people approach me to congratulate me though, which I find weird!! No-one has asked me to leave anywhere though, I think that's illegal but could be wrong.

Good luck with everything Thanks

Teaandtoastie · 10/05/2019 20:39

I breastfed my second for 3 years, in all sorts of places, never had a single negative comment- except from exMIL but that says more about her than anything else.

I would suggest the first few times maybe take someone with you so you don’t feel so nervous? And think about where you will go if DD needs to feed. For example, when DD was little the town i lived in had a massive mothercare which had a ‘nursing room’ and I also figured out quite quickly that the local Costa was mainly frequented by mums and toddlers in the daytime so no one batted an eyelid. So they were my kind of safe spaces while I got the hang of it. Once I was confident though I’d do it anywhere- on the tube, at the zoo, in the queue at the bank... Grin

If you’re nervous you could start off small for example feeding her in front of people at a baby group/ baby session in the local library?

I know lots of people go for the breastfeeding covers or a shawl, I always found that too fiddly and just always wore a stretchy vest under my top so I could pull that one down and the top layer up, if you see what I mean.

Just try it and be proud! You are doing something amazing!

Shixtyshixpershent · 10/05/2019 20:44

Fed everywhere and anywhere for 11 months now. Was terrified at first and wouldn’t feed in public at all with my eldest. So I can totally get where you’re coming from. But this time round I couldn’t avoid going out with an older child so I’ve just gotten on with it and never had a single comment. Im not sure people actually notice. Though the few times I used a giant scarf type cover up I definitely got plenty of curious looks. I’m now starting to get a bit wary again as she’s getting older but she’s more easily distracted nowadays and doesn’t need it like she used to. I really rate the jojo Maman babe style tops, they’re really discreet.

Aw12345 · 10/05/2019 20:45

Don't worry at all 🙂 like a lot of the pp"s I've been Breastfeeding in public for 9 months and never had a bad comment... In fact some people go out of their way to say how nice it is to see a baby being breastfed!

Tinyteatime · 10/05/2019 21:39

Never had a bad comment here either. Fed anywhere and everywhere. Only had positives, but most people don’t even notice tbh. I remember feeling self conscious of feeding in public at 1st, the only way to tackle it is just go for it and then you’ll realise there’s really no drama, good luck OP!

HSKNT · 10/05/2019 21:45

In 4 years of BF 2 DCs i had one comment. Another woman jumped in before I couple even answer. I wouldn't worry. And I didn't
Cover up etc

Sizeofalentil · 11/05/2019 10:29

I've had nothing but friendly comments or people being kind and considerate for the 16months I've been feeding dd.

My favourite stage was around 7 months when she realised that we had to be discreet in public and I could say to her 'be cool' and she'd laugh and subtly latch on.

A lot of the time people don't notice and try talking to her when she's latched on now!

My tip for you is to make a list of places you can breastfeed subtly in when you're out in town etc. Libraries, community centres, hotels, cafes, supermarkets with cafes etc

Tkmaxx staff are normally extremely generous with letting you use their changing rooms. Primark, not so much.

If you get really stuck, a bench in a non-busy shoe department is always good.

The nct have a list of breastfeeding friendly places in each area too.

Sizeofalentil · 11/05/2019 10:34

My baby was tongue tie so I used to express and bottle feed too. I got more judgy looks about that tbh.

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