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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Does a breastfed baby = a clingy baby?

36 replies

ArtichokeTagine · 12/07/2007 20:45

Alot of people have suggested this to me as an explanation for DD's clingyness. I have no intention of stopping BF as a result but I am interested in whether BF babies tend to be more attached to their mums because only their mum's can give them what they like most.

DD is 11 months and has always loved the breast. She has also always been very attached to me. She has always preferred me to her dad or anyone else. I feel bad as her dad dotes on her and is fantastic with her but if I am around she often only wants me to hold her.

What are others' experiences?

OP posts:
StrangelyBzar · 12/07/2007 20:54

Hi
I bf both dd and ds, and neither are clingy. I stopped at about 7 months, due to health reasons, so beyond that, I don't know.
In fact, dd is sooo independent at 7! Both are very sociable children. Doesn't help, does it?

LittleLupin · 12/07/2007 20:56

My DS is very independent and still BF at 15m...

MarsLady · 12/07/2007 20:56

No!

Babies tend to be more attached to their mothers. Don't fret the day will come when Daddy can do no wrong.

2HappyRotter · 12/07/2007 20:56

Bollocks.

My arse.

No.

Walnutshell · 12/07/2007 20:58

How does clinginess manifest itself? My ds is 20 months, breastfed and I wouldn't describe him as clingy but I am still his favourite person - for now.

Perhaps "a lot of people" are envious or ignorant about breastfeeding beyond the first few weeks. Sorry, that sounded harsher than I meant. Too lazy to rethink.

Chirpygirl · 12/07/2007 20:59

I have a few friends with babies my DD's age (17 months) and we are a mix of excl BF, FF and mix fed, there is no relation between clinginess and BFing as far as I can tell. The clingiest baby was FF and the most independant was BF, the rest are a spread out in between, so I would say it's a load of crap!

Oh, and once DD hit 12-13 months as soon as her dad walks in the room I may as well just bugger off and leave them to their mutual adoration she has only just started saying mama when she has been saying Dada for months! (she was excl BF)

rnbsmum · 12/07/2007 20:59

I think my dd and ds are not particularly clingy, partly because they get that guaranteed mummy time at feeds and so enjoy cuddles from other people at other times.

Walnutshell · 12/07/2007 21:00

Aww, cute.

REBELlatrixlestrange · 12/07/2007 21:00

No. All three of mine were bf for quite a while, and just one of them went through a clingy phase.

sweetkitty · 12/07/2007 21:01

DD1 was a very clingy cuddly baby would happily sit with me for hours, wasn't a hungry baby I had to remember to feed her. Now at 3 she is a total daddy's girl.

DD2 loved milk and would nurse all day. She was the most uncuddly baby ever. Even now she's 18 months she rarely wants to be cuddled and held. She's an independent little madam shows affection in other ways though. Still for now a Mummys girl.

So my opinion is breastfeeding does not cause clingy babies, babies are meant to be clingy to their mothers it's a survival thing. I think personality has a lot to do with it too.

Botbot · 12/07/2007 21:03

Nah, that's rubbish. My dd was formula-fed (not by choice, as documented at length on various other threads) and she's extra-clingy at the moment (she's 12 months so I reckon it's her age).

BonyM · 12/07/2007 21:04

DD2 is still breastfed at 27mths and is quite "clingy" although perhaps a better description would be highly sensitive. She doesn't necessarily prefer me to dh though, unless she is tired or ill.

DD1 was breastfed until she was 9mths and has always been very independent. However I put this down to the fact she was at nursery 3 days a week from the age of 6.5mths.

DD2 is with me full time which could account for her clingyness.

diplodocus · 12/07/2007 21:08

My DD was BF, and has never been clingy - has always been happy to go to PIL and friends she rarely sees and loves being with her Dad. At 20 months she's now very independent (although loves a cuddle) and is the ultimate party animal (unlike her parents!).

NeverTickleASleepingSoupDragon · 12/07/2007 21:10

17 month old BabyDragon is perhaps the least clingy child I know! She's still breastfed...

Jomaja · 12/07/2007 21:26

Ds (10 months) is a daddy's boy even though he is bf.
Although have been told that children get a bit more clingy between the age of 9 months to about a year. not sure whether that's true though.

tribpot · 12/07/2007 21:30

My ds is very clingy to me - he was formula fed, and has mostly always been fed by his dad. So go figure!

terramum · 12/07/2007 21:35

Babies & children are supposed to be clingy - you only have to look at other mammals to see that. Baby mammals that don't stick close to their mum are usually the first to get picked off by predators...being close to mum is an instinct...bfing just makes sure that it's encouraged & vice versa.

IsabelWatchingItRainInMacondo · 12/07/2007 21:41

Blaming clinginess in BF is like saying children are blond because it's raining.

FoeGlassSlipper · 12/07/2007 21:42

No.

DD1 was BF until 8.5 months and had seperation anxiety from 6-18 months

DD2 is still bf at 7 months and is very chilled.

butterbeer · 12/07/2007 21:46

To the extent that there's any convincing research on this, it suggests that children who are bf until self-weaning tend to be slightly more independent than others (not a huge difference and the causal connection isn't clear, so please no one throw anything at me). So I think it's HIGHLY unlikely that your daughter's temperament is in any way connected to your feeding choices.

Original poster
ArtichokeTagine · 12/07/2007 22:05

Thanks all. I was sceptical too. Its just that several friends, whose babies are much more independent than DD, suggested it. I am the only one of my friends who is still breastfeeding at 11 months.

It is really nice to know that none of you think that it is down to feeding choice. I expect it is her nature. Both DH and I were very nervous without our mums. I love our cuddles but I do feel sorry for DH sometimes.

OP posts:
Olihan · 12/07/2007 22:11

I ff ds1 and ddw who were both very unclingy, independent babies (and still are at 3.6 and 22 mo). Ds2 is exclusively bf and has been incredibly clingy from birth. Until 4mo he wouldn't go to dh without crying, I was the only person who could settle him to sleep, if I put him down he'd cry, if I gave him to someone else for a cuddle, he'd cry, if he was upset only I could comfort him. He is so different from the other two and I honestly don't know whether it's down to bf or if it's just his personality. I suspect he'd be the same regardless, he's a lot more sensitive than they were as babies and more highly strung so the bf may be just coincidence. OTOH, the bf means we're parenting him quite dfferently - co sleeping, baby wearing, etc because it's made life easier so it could be down to that too.

Not sure that ramble makes any sense at all but hey ho .

FirenzeandZooey · 12/07/2007 22:11

You can turn this question around, as well - in this country we use the word clingy to describe this behaviour, which is a negative term. Psychologists use the term "securely attached" which is a desirable thing, so you could in theory say to your friends "Oh dear, your children doo seem to show less secure attachment, don't they? Do you think it is because they were FF?"

In different cultures such as China you would be widely feted as a model mother. They encourage this close bond between mother and child and would be distressed to see young children exhibiting the signs of independence that we seem to prize here.

stressteddy · 12/07/2007 22:13

Nope, not in my experience. I breastfed and I can do no right with my ds. He is a Daddy's boy through and through. Yay for Daddy!!(Says Stressteddy through gritted teeth)

oliveoil · 12/07/2007 22:18

why are children expected to be independent? they are children!

dd1 is quite clingy and sensitive, dd2 is the complete opposite

second children are usually more outgoing (on my unscientific survey of friends children), maybe because you do not have as much time to hover over them, no idea