Does a breastfed baby = a clingy baby?

[ArtichokeTagine]

Alot of people have suggested this to me as an explanation for DD's clingyness. I have no intention of stopping BF as a result but I am interested in whether BF babies tend to be more attached to their mums because only their mum's can give them what they like most.

DD is 11 months and has always loved the breast. She has also always been very attached to me. She has always preferred me to her dad or anyone else. I feel bad as her dad dotes on her and is fantastic with her but if I am around she often only wants me to hold her.

What are others' experiences?

I would have to disagree Olive,(sorry) My ds is very outgoing, independant and sociable. I ordered a clingy, Mummy's boy who liked to kiss me so I was sorely disappointed!!!

F&Z that is a good point about attachment. I might not use the script you suggest (as much as I would love to have the guts) but I will use the China story.

Breastfeeding and lots of contact encourages natural independence later on. Security breeds confidence and ease.

Artichoke you might be interested in the book "Our Babies Ourselves" which compares child-rearing practices around the world and draws many interesting conclusions. This is where I got the information about Chinese family practices. It's a wonderful book.

Baby Wisdom by Deborah Jackson is very good too.

not for me - have breastfed 2 children till past 1, and now on dd3 ( 10 months) none have been clingy

Im so sick of argueing this point with my mum. She is always saying you will never beable to leave her! - that was about dd1 and now dd2.

My dd1 (BFed for 25 months) was very clingy for a while but i think this was partly because i was very much Attachment Pareneting, i done everything with her and signed with her.. so i completely understood her. Since she was about 2 she has been overly confident in every way. And now at nearly 3 she would dump me for daddy in a min.

I plan to do the same with dd2. I whole heartedly believe that it is nothing to do with bfing at all. I think it is just that people do envy the special bond between mother and baby. Noone can read your baby like you can

F&Z, until I discovered MN I wanted my children to be independent, not clingy, etc. I didn't co sleep with the first two, they slept in their own room from 5 weeks, if we went out they went in the pushchair, that sort of thing - they were both very placid, easy going babies who were very happy being parented that way.

Ds2 is such a different personality that he is demanding a completely different parenting style and I think if it wasn't for MN I would be tearing my hair out wih him. AP was never the way I intended to parent and tbh, I thought people who did were a bit daft really. But I've learned from reading stuff on here that it doesn't matter if I co sleep, he won't still be in my bed at 15, I won't make a rod for my own back if I carry him everywhere and I'll make him more secure if I respond to his needs so I'm parenting him the way he wants to be parented. And I love it.

I think it's a shame that we don't try and learn more from other cultures' parenting methods because I think it would make our lives a lot easier if we did. How many mums stress and worry because their child is 'clingy' and try to force them to conform to 'independence' parenting? I think there's too much emphasis on making babies independent before they're ready and I wonder how many parents would be happier if they followed their child, rather than society's preconceptions about the 'right' way to raise children.

My dd is 15 months and very clingy and very attached to bF. But, I don't think they are related, I think it is part of her personality but I am blessed with a tool to make it all better- a quick slurp of milk makes everything better! I too keep getting accused of making dd clingy by breastfeeding - in fact everything 'wrong' with her is because of breasfeeding - clingy, not sleeping, not eating properly. They'll probably blame her cerebral palsy on breastfeeding next. Why doesn't anyone say - look at that beautiful healthy body and stunningly gorgeous milky skin, it's because of breastfeeding too. Wow, look she doesn't have tantrums, she is so easily comforted by breastfeeding - never happens. She never looks more beautiful than when she pulls off the breast and turns round to grin at me with a dribble of milk on her chin.

Personally I just accept that the way ds is, is the way ds is. For other reasons, I am the least attachmenty parent - i.e. because I'm the one who goes out to work - but it makes bugger all difference. Ds is just clingy to his mummy, we have to deal with that, end of. So there's nothing you can do. They are just clingy or not clingy and that's it.

I can't leave ds despite ff rather than bf, btw. Not because physically it isn't possible but emotionally it still isn't, so what's the diff!

IMHO breastfeeding makes a contented secure child, not a clingy one. i would imagine the clingyness is just a phase, if i remember rightly, 10/11 months is about the age that babies first realise they are a separate being from mum, and therefore quite common for them to get a bit clingy.