Breastfeeding is a pain

[Cherrymcherry]

My daughter is 1 week old and I really struggling to establish breastfeeding. I’m pretty sure I have mastitis (seeing the doc tomorrow) and both nipples are cracked and sore. I’ve been using Lansinoh round the clock and nipple sheilds to try and power through the feeds but it’s so painful I’m in tears most feeds. Even when she does feed there is little relief and I’m engorged and uncomfortable so I’m not sure how much she is getting. She often cries for more even after she’s been on the breast for up for half an hour so have been topping up with expressed milk but it’s hard to keep up with it all and I think the pumping is messing up my supply. Has anyone had this before and does it get better? I really want to bf and am sad at the thought of having to stop so soon but if this is going to be a cycle of blocked ducts and bleeding nipples indefinitely I need to think about what I can do. Looking for success stories and reassurance that powering through is worth it!!!

I was in your shoes this time last year! Every feed was absolute agony. My nipples were red raw and cracked - so sore that the prospect of applying Lansinoh was enough to make me cry too.

I too had a bout of mastitis in about week 3, and you're definitely doing the right thing seeing the GP if you suspect you have it. Don't delay. If they agree it's mastitis they will probably prescribe antibiotics. I remember that mine cleared up pretty quickly (24-36 hours I think) once I started the tablets. And the advice is to keep feeding on the dodgy side...ouchy...but important.

I ploughed through, with the help of nipple shields (which I only used for 48 hours or so on one side when it got REALLY bad) and fantastic support from some lovely friends who'd been through similar. Here I am a year later still bf my 13 month old. Literally bf him right now! I can't put into words how special bf now feels or how glad I am that I kept going when it really felt as if I wasn't going to be able to.

I will be back on later to check how you're doing. I really feel for you and hope you can get the mastitis sorted nice and quickly and look forward to breaking through this painful phase.

PS The short version of my reply is "for me, without a doubt, it was worth it!"

I feel your pain- my baby is 6 weeks now and I’m only just starting to be able to enjoy breastfeeding. My nipples were cracked with large open wounds for 3-4 weeks. What helped me was to air dry my nipples after every feed, use lansinoh but sparingly- I think it made my nipples slippy to latch onto.
We have a local breastfeeding support group and also an nhs bf support worker who came to my house, I kept going back and getting advice until things started to improve. If you’ve got these facilities where you are I’d definitely use them as much as possible- even just knowing that others are in the same situation is a relief and the advice they gave with positioning and latch was great.
Good luck!

I really struggled to establish breastfeeding too and wanted very much to succeed to the point I cried in frustration. I persevered and so glad I did. It really does get better. It's like a massive learning curve for both mum and baby. I remember when dd finally figured out how to latch and feed. She became so much more proficient that breastfeeding became easy. I got myself support from a lactation consultant and that helped so much. I'm not in the UK but if you google you should be able to find one. She watched me breastfeed and helped me re-position my baby and help her get a good latch. When, after a couple of weeks, we got better at it I could relax. I found watching favorite TV shows helped me switch off and relax and relaxing helped me to breastfeed. It's okay, breastfeeding is hard at first for many of us. You're doing great, it will get easier. Try to relax, find what works best for you and get some support.

Thank you @ruffles that’s really reassuring to know you powered through and it was worth it. I’ve woken up more engorged and sore than ever despite feeding in the night so I definitely need to see the doctor.
And @finlaythecat I don’t think there is a bf group as such but I know there are people I can call for help. I took their advice to pump and make sure the latch was correct etc 6 weeks feels like a long time to be in this much pain plus still recovering from the birth stuff but I’m glad I’m not the only one and it’s paid off for both of you. I’ll post back on what the GP advises too

It sounds like your baby might have a poor latch. If you haven’t already googled about latching and tongue tie check out Kellymom website.

I would also speak to your Midwife or HV depending on what stage you are at and see if they can get you some real life support and a tongue tie check.

In the first week or so baby will feed an awful lot to build supply, mastitis can happen if breast is not fully drained. Keep baby feeding on the side that is sore, expressing alone won’t help unfortunately. You may also need ABs prescribed.

Once you and baby work out how to get a good latch things will improve massively. Although you may end up with a difficult sleeper or not is just pot luck.

I had the latch checked by midwife at my 1 and 5 day check up and they seemed to think it looked ok. I don’t think she’s tongue tied either and she gained weight in the first 5 days so she much be getting something. I think I just need to address each issue at at time. Cracked nipples, mastitis, blocked ducts - I’ve really hit the jackpot to have all happen at once. I’m not convinced the pumping is helping as it’s effecting my supply and making me engorged. And they never drain properly - even after a long feed there still feels like there is lots in there and it’s so uncomfortable

Have your baby checked for tongue tie, my DD had it and it was never spotted, she broke it herself with a spoon at 6 months and after that bf was so much more comfortable and easier. A bad latch can cause all these issues. Also try having a hot bath, it helps the milk flow and you can express by hand to relieve the engorgement a bit, mastitis is horrible but you'll get through it. Ended up feeding DD until she was nearly 2, it's tough at first but then it becomes the easiest and most convenient thing in the world.

I would definitely ask for another opinion on the tongue tie. I was exactly like you and everyone told me that my baby had a good latch and no tongue tie, and as I was a first time mum and she was gaining weight I accepted this. Even though my nipples were cracked and bleeding and I was dreading every feed as it hurt so much. At the six week check my GP was politely horrified by the state of my nipples and we were then seen by a lactation consultant who actually put her finger in baby’s mouth and found a posterior tongue tie. All the midwives and HVs had only looked and so had missed this. She has been a different baby since having her tongue tie cut - I am writing this whilst feeding her at almost nine months old. I would have never believed that was possible when she was tiny as I was in so much pain.

Sorry for the essay there! But wanted to reassure you that others have been there and that you shouldn’t be afraid to push for more support/a second opinion if needed.

I’d also recommend jelonet dressing for the cracked nipples - you can buy from amazon if you can’t get from a pharmacy. They come in huge sheets and you can cut little squares to go over your nipples. It promotes moist healing and was really good for me alongside the lansinoh.

And most of all, be kind to yourself.

Like a pp says it does sound like a bad latch is causing milk transfer issues. I would definately get yourself to the breastfeeding support group, I found other real life breastfeeding mums to be the best source of support.
I was told my latch was fine but my poor nipples said otherwise, one thing that helped me was the flipple technique. If you look on youtube there are loads of videos on how to do it, it's basically a technique to get as much of the nipple into your baby's mouth as you possibly can so baby can take more milk and your nipple doesn't rub on the rough bit towards the front of the babies mouth.

Good luck OP, the first few weeks are so hard, it does honestly get easier

Breastfeeding was agony for me toonfor the first few weeks. Kept getting told his latch was fine and he was gaining weight but it was still agony. I almost gave up at one point. Then I went to see a breastfeeding councillor and she noticed he had a posterior tongue tie. It was snipped at 12 weeks and honestly the relief was instant. He’s now 20’weeks and I’m so so glad I didn’t give up. It’s now so easy and I love breastfeeding him. I’d stop pumping for a while if I were you because you’ll be making more milk than you need which is causing the engorgment. Good luck!!!

Ask your midwife team to refer you to the breastfeeding advisors. They are much better st checking latch and tongue tie then midwives I found.

The advisor that I had was fantastic. She did 2 home visits and when DD was back in hospital with jaundice she visited is on the ward too.

I really struggled with DS and was in pain for about 3 weeks then as he got bigger and his latch improved it was pain free and we continued for a year.

Currently feeding week old DD and it was a bit stingy for the first day but is fine now already so either my nipples are used to it from DS or I am just more confident at getting the latch right. DD has tongue tie, it isn’t affecting her latch she is being checked to make sure she is getting enough milk though she she falls asleep feeding within 5 minutes.

It's hard at first with first babies but it gets easier I promise. I remember crying at that stage and a couple of times mum did give a bottle formula but stick with it, in 2-3 weeks you will look back and wonder what was hard! Once you are established it's so much easier than bottle feeding. See if there's a breastfeeding group/cafe near you - the one near me meets twice a week for coffee/tea and to chat, different stages and they are willing to help you get going, but can offer reassurance and general support too, plus nobody bats an eyelid at 10-15 babies being breastfed in public, it's an art to be discreet so the first few times something like this makes it easier.

Get another opinion for tongue tie - I was told my first was latching fine, I gave up breastfeeding him and he still couldn’t drink properly so they checked him again and the tongue tie specialist said it was an extremely obvious tongue tie, attached by well over 50%. My next baby hurt to latch so I got her booked in to get the tongue tie cut at 5 days old and I’ve managed to breastfeed her for 4 months so far.
If i doesn’t turn out to be tongue tie, and you’re dreading your baby waking up to be fed, I don’t think it’s worth it. As someone who’s bottle and breastfed the main advantage for me is that when established breastfeeding is easier, but not so much that it’s worth being in pain about. I struggled to bond with my first because I didn’t want him to wake up to feed and spent all my time with him in pain.
Good luck whatever you choose x

I second what pp have said about getting the latch checked again, Kellymom website. My local surestart group ran a BF support group which helped me a lot.

Also I’d suggest trying a different nipple cream - I react to Lanolin so Lanisoh actually made things worse! Boots do a Lanolin free nipple cream.

I hope things improve soon

I'd stop pumping and just feed. Your baby is best for unblocking things. Plus you can massage your breasts. Be firm but careful, might leak a bit. Pumping doesn't draw the milk like a baby does so could be adding to the issue. And baby taking bottles so young, can make them reluctant to breast feed as it's easier. The nipple shields can affect the draw the baby has too.

The nipple pain. I know it's tough. I used these from amazon - see pic. I cut them in half and used one piece per 24hrs each side. Really helped heal things. They can stick a bit, but just in a ohhh way not a arghhhh ripping off a plaster way. I sort of found that it was my bra or clothes rubbing making my nipples worse. So had to wear at night too. Make sure you apply the same side to the nipple the other side can get a bit fluffy from your bra. You can rinse under tap too. I didn't wash my actual nipples before feeds ( can't remember if it was this one that says it) and baby wasn't ill etc. Nothing was helping before the pads.

It will get better, unfortunately your nipples are getting battered, you can get through it and carry on.

Another recommendation to get someone who knows what they're doing to put their finger in her mouth and check for tongue tie. I had two months of pain with one of mine and was told there couldn't possibly be a tongue tie because he could latch and was gaining weight. I was told I must be doing something wrong and that 'it just hurts'. All bollocks - he had a significant posterior tongue tie, finally picked up by an NCT breastfeeding support person. Fed painlessly for another 18 months after it was separated.

It was like this for me, but got easier.
Multimam compresses for the cracked nipples. At the beginning it helped me to relatch every time it wasn’t perfect, even if that was every minute.
My midwife told me not to use much nipple cream at the beginning because the softer the nipple the more vulnerable it is, and at this stage you need it to be toughening up.
She also told me not to pump too much in the first weeks and to give all the pumped milk to the baby rather than freezing it to avoid increasing the supply beyond what the baby needs.
Your baby might not be crying for more milk but for more being on the nipple. That’s where they want to be, snoozing and waiting for the next lot of milk to come in. Unfortunately there’s no way round that. My midwife told me that if the baby has regular dirty nappies that are mustard coloured rather than green you don’t need to worry about whether they are getting enough.
At the beginning I felt like it wasn’t easy because I didn’t know what I was doing, but I realised with time that it’s mostly because the baby doesn’t know what they are doing. They have the instinct to suck but they don’t do it perfectly yet. They just need time on the breast to work it out.

Get someone to bring you in some lecithin capsules. Or get it from amazon. I’ve used it on and off while feeding every time I can feel a blocked duct forming. It works wonders for me and within a few hours of taking it.

Durrrr attach pic of breast feeding pads

I feel your pain. This was me over 4 years ago now but it sounds like my experience . It got better for my 6 weeks and things just seem to click . As well as the other good advice here have to experimented with different holds ? My right side was far more engorged and I found the football hold was more comfortable and easier . Good luck

You are definitely not alone, I found breastfeeding very difficult at first. Constant hour long feeds (max. 30min between feeds in the day), engorged breasts and sore, very dry nipples - which fortunately didn't crack (multimam compresses kept in the fridge, cut in half when needed and placed on each nipple was amazing relief). Midwives thought the latch was good but DS lost a significant amount of his birth weight despite the constant feeding so we hired a private lactation consultant who visited us at home for 2 hours.

Best money we spent, as it turned out that although the latch looked ok, it wasn't, so DS was inefficiently feeding. I had to get more of the breast in to his mouth so that the nipple was deeper, so to start with I would compress my breast as he latched on. We are at almost 10 weeks EBF now, he is gaining weight well and it is so much easier for the both of us, can now breastfeed without having to think about it.

I found massaging the lumps in my breast tissue (including armpits) in the shower the best thing to relieve engorgement and the pain that comes with it - you have to apply a good amount of pressure, don't be too gentle! Around 6 weeks my breasts and milk supply settled and stopped becoming engorged - so it shouldn't be a long lasting issue.

The La Leche League website has some useful guides. Also check if you have a Baby Cafe near you: www.thebabycafe.org - they are free and can be helpful.

Good luck, don't be hard on yourself and enjoy your baby!

OP I had to reply because I was in exactly the same boat as you. Get antibiotics from GP pronto. It is so hard I know. If you need to just pump for a while (your baby is so young so will be sleeping a lot for you to do this) to give your nipples a chance to recover then do that. It’s hard work but I kept my supply up for three weeks with this. Get support, go to lactation consultant etc. Hugs and good luck xx

Oh OP you’re doing a fabulous job! Unfortunately this is sometimes the reality of feeding in early days that no one warns you about.

My nipples both cracked, like right down the middle, i cried every feed for about 13 days. He had a perfect latch, but the nipples it’s self needs to toughen up. Keep with the cream and air those bad boys. When in the house I went around without a top on whenever I could.

Baby being on the breast CONSTANTLY is totally normal at this early stage. It’s the way supply is established as the suckling signals the breast to make more milk. I know it feels like they can’t possibly be hungry but it more about getting that supply. As long as weight gain is okay, and baby has plenty wet/dirty nappies then they will be getting enough. It normally settles when feeding is feel established around week 6.

As with above advice is speak to a qualified breastfeeding support worker to check the latch and check again for toungue tie. It’s often missed in hospital. Sometimes mastitis happens, it’s horrible for you undoubtably but again it’s an unfortunate thing that can happen while feeding. Make sure you look after yourself as well. Do you have any relatives or friends that breastfed that you could speak confide in?

At the moment make feeding your main focus/responsibility. Don’t worry about housework, eat easy meals, put the breaks on visitors if you want to. I know it seems so hard in the beginning but it does get easier. I wanted to give up so badly at about 2 weeks I almost did but my mum gave me the best advice- never give up on a bad day. It was all 100% worth it for us and after the first 4 weeks the rest was easy sailing. Good luck OP!

@FortheloveofJames is totally completely absolutely 100% spot on with everything there!

How are you doing today @Cherrymcherry? Been thinking about you!