Breastfeeding is a pain

[Cherrymcherry]

My daughter is 1 week old and I really struggling to establish breastfeeding. I’m pretty sure I have mastitis (seeing the doc tomorrow) and both nipples are cracked and sore. I’ve been using Lansinoh round the clock and nipple sheilds to try and power through the feeds but it’s so painful I’m in tears most feeds. Even when she does feed there is little relief and I’m engorged and uncomfortable so I’m not sure how much she is getting. She often cries for more even after she’s been on the breast for up for half an hour so have been topping up with expressed milk but it’s hard to keep up with it all and I think the pumping is messing up my supply. Has anyone had this before and does it get better? I really want to bf and am sad at the thought of having to stop so soon but if this is going to be a cycle of blocked ducts and bleeding nipples indefinitely I need to think about what I can do. Looking for success stories and reassurance that powering through is worth it!!!

I agree with what @finlaythecat said about letting your nipples air dry. I got very cracked nipples at the beginning - nothing to do with latch, it was just that I was asking my nipples to do something they'd never done before and they needed some time to toughen up.

My best friend recommended that I should be topless as much as possible so I closed the blinds and heeded her advice which helped a lot, and my mum also suggested some nipple shells (not shields, that's a different thing). I got some Phillips Avent shells which collect a bit of your leaking milk and allow the air to circulate while keeping your clothes off your nips, thus allowing them to actually heal - they were a major help!

Wow everyone you have been so helpful and reassuring! Thank you so much for all the advice and encouragement- it’s helped me so much!!
Update...things have improved thankfully. I had a midwife appointment and spoke to her and she confirmed a poor latch so gave me some advice and showed me what to do. It’s still sore initially because my nipples aren’t 100% better but it’s bearable and has meant the engorgement has improved a lot. I’ve also stopped pumping as I ageee with one of the PP it really wasn’t helping with the over supply. The latching pain isn’t great but compared to the engorgement it’s manageable. I’ve also been air drying my nipples which was another bit of great advice.
Like I said you’ve all been very helpful. I’m still not 100% there but I can see the light and I’m determined to power through.

@cherrymcherry. Sometimes finding the right position for you is a game changer. For the first 2 weeks the rugby ball position worked best for us.

I think this is a crucial stage where a lot of people choose to not continue because it can be so hard thinking that it’s not going right, added with the fact you have a newborn, you’re tired and there’s hormones flying all over the shop- it’s not surprising people find it all too much. I found it all so much I swore blind I wouldn’t do it again ever and I would bottle feed if I had another one. Currently pregnant with number 2 and the stress and worry is already long forgotten and I definitely plan to try again. If you are determined that this is what you want for you and baby then getting the right support at this stage is so important!

You’re doing an amazing job. When my son was born I just assumed he’d come out the womb and be perfect at it and good to go. Often not the reality, it’s something you both need to learn to establish. Congrats on you’re newborn and savour all the sleepy cuddles

I’m glad things are going better!!!

Just one thing on the pumping: might still be worth doing once every 2 days or so on a gentle setting, just one side at a time while massaging your breast right up to the armpit. I do this until I feel like my breast is really drained and the relief from an engorgement point of view is huge. Like a good spring clean! Just don’t do it too often.

Warm washcloth on the breast before a feed and cold wash cloth after a feed also really help soothe sore breasts. I second the PP who said try to go topless until you feel better!

By way of encouragement... when I had my DD your struggles were EXACTLY my struggles for about 3-6 weeks. Things got better gradually and by weeks 5/6 I was pretty comfortable and started to actually enjoy the breastfeeding. Believe it or not, it comes to feel convenient! No faffing about with bottles and buying large quantities of expensive formula... very transportable... :-)

By way of further encouragement, I just had DC2 4 days ago and bar a little bit of discomfort from over-supply, I’m having NONE of my original issues! My body remembers how to do this! Getting breastfeeding established with my DC1 felt like such a win... and it seems to be a win that has carried over into the early days with DC2! I’ve been just so overwhelmingly pleasantly surprised. I’m enjoying my newborn! It’s possible! And all that hard work has now paid off TWICE! :-)

@cherrymcherry keep going, you will be so happy you did. I had terrible trouble getting going and then ended up mixed feeding until I could relactate, which was so hard. But it's all worth it in the end.

To me this all sounds normal. Have BF 3 babies and the first 6-8 weeks for me were hell. Really sore cracked nipples, agony feeding, baby crying after feeding wanting to feed all the time.

It does get better. Best thing for getting rid of lumps that can lead to blocked and infected ducts is a hot shower and massaging the lump over and over until it finally unblocks.

I wish everyone knew how hard this early stage was. By telling us it's hard we know what to expect! Instead we feel like we're doing it all wrong.

Keep going OP. Glad latch has improved. It will get better and it will be worth it.

Hang in there OP. It's hideous but normal.

It will get easier every week.

Do you have someone to check your baby for ties? You might have a latching problem.

If the baby has lots of wet nappies then she is getting enough. Newborns are wired to want to feed all the time

It is SO worth it OP.

I have ebf twins. They are now seven months. They were six weeks premature and spent their first five weeks in NICU.

Unfortunately there’s a bit of a conspiracy of silence around breastfeeding where you aren’t told how awful it can be at first I had it all, tounge tie babies, milk blebs, cracked nipples and boobs so engorged that I nearly french kissed the fitting lady in M&S one afternoon when she fitted me with a more supportive nursing bra.

It got so much better after six weeks. In my case the pain, engorgement etc seemed to vanish almost overnight.

I love breastfeeding. I can honestly say rate feeding my twins is one of my proudest achievements. Seeing the comfort and satisfaction my babies get from feeding and knowing I am giving them the best start in life is just amazing.

You are doing so well. Keep going and congratulations on your baby

Also can I just recommend ‘mamafeelsgood’ breastfeeding tops - they were a LIFESAVER (not sponsored or anything, they’re just brilliant!) on the pricey side but so worth it and last years

Thx for the update Cherrymcherry so glad it's getting easier for you. Hope to see you around on mumsnet, it's a great community

Have you tried different holds at all?

I’ve found my right boob he feeds better with a football hold which is great as I’m having issues with my left wrist currently - I think from holding him etc- and the left boob in a different position.

Try the homestart BF support or another organisation who may come out to help and advise if you wanted to too

Hope it’s going better for you OP

Or rugby hold can’t remmeber what it’s called haha sorry