I'm in such a quandry about this feeding malarky - don't know WHAT to do.......

[fannyannie]

For those that haven't read my other threads over the last week or so quick rundown of events - DS3 (4 1/2 weeks old) breastfed exclusively for just over 3 weeks, then we had problems with him latching on (screamed hysterically for up to 1hr before finally latching on - most probable reason it would seem was he'd had a fright with lots and lots of milk and extremely fast letdown). Because he was hardly latching on at all (and when he was feeding for a short time before falling asleep exhausted) we gave him a few bottles. The latch was then sorted again.

Couple of days ago with decided to mix-feed (2 bottles of formula a day) a happy compromise between going back to JUST breast (which I thought I wanted to do) and switching to bottles (DH's preference).

Up until the yesterday - and mainly today - DH has the only one who's successfully given him a bottle - he rejected them from me. Yesterday posted saying I was thinking of switching over to bottles completely - but wasn't sure about it - as I particularly enjoy the feed(s) he has early morning in bed with us - but finding the days (and particularly evenings where I have 3 DS's to sort on my own while DH is at work) really quite a grind.

Had lots of lovely posts and suggestions on that thread but still haven't really made up my mind.

Today DS3 has been latched on for almost the entire day - from 8am this morning to about 7.30 this evening - with only short breaks for me to cook dinner and bath the boys. I deliberately let him just 'camp out' (when he slept it was with his head resting on my - naked - nork) for the day to try and keep my milk supply up.

However he still wasn't really settled and wouldn't let me put him down - so I got a bottle of the formula out of the fridge and gave it to him - despite having been latched on just before he drained 4oz - and then another 2oz of previously ebm. He's now fast asleep in his carrycot downstairs - something he's not done for me since the day after he was born! (He's been settling into his cot at night for DH without any problems - but when I feed him he hardly sleeps at all if I put him down - but sleeps well in my arms).

Before he went to sleep he was just gazing up at me looking REALLY contented - more than he's ever done after a breastfeed (even before the bottles came into play) and suddenly I thought that perhaps I do want to switch to bottles.

I FF DS2 and had lots of lovely long cuddles on the sofa with him while feeding him - so I'd still get that (which is what I really enjoy about the breastfeeding) and tbh thinking back to DS2 I didn't really find bottlefeeding any more of a hassle than breastfeeding - so I don't have that conundrum to deal with.

It's just I feel a bit guilty about actually wanting to switch to FF when breast is the far better option for so many reasons (and it's not like we're having any difficulty with him latching on, or sore nipples etc etc so don't even have that 'excuse' to fall back on). If I switch I'm doing it because it suits "me" better - which makes me feel rather selfish . But at the same time the only bit of breastfeeding I'm enjoying this time round is the cuddling up next to each other....which can be done when bottlefeeding.

ahhhhhhhhh I don't know what to do.

You mustn't feel guilty whatever you decide. There is a bigger picture than purely the nutritional benefits of bf-ing - you have the rest of your family and their needs and opinions to consider too. You know BF-ing is best, no-one needs to tell you that, BUT your DH's opinion, and the needs of your other children must come into the equation too.

I stopped bf-ing my DS at 4 months because I'd had ENOUGH of leaky, uncomfortable boobs, wearing disgusting saggy bras and generally feeling horrible about myself.If that makes me incredibly shallow, and a terrible mother, then shoot me. I agree, formula isn't that much hassle, but I'm also glad my DS got a good stint of breast milk too.

It's such a personal decision whether to bf or not - all you can do is arm yourself with all the facts and do what is best for you and your family.

On a practical note, your DS may not have been satisfied with breast feeds today, because your supply may have dropped a bit due to giving bottles of formula the previous few days. If you want to re-instate 100% bf-ing, put him to the breast very regularly, or pump for a few days, and your supply will increase again. I found it was amazing how quickly my supply would drop once I started missing feeds, but you should be able to easily get it back.

Good Luck with whatever you decide

I'm in much the same position. My dd is 5 mths and i have 2 DS. Shes losing weight and is not that settled but managable! Was just bf then lost weight so hv suggested 2x 8oz. Was then gaining and seemed more settled. I dropped back to 8oz and more weaning and bf's. Lost more weight inthe last 2 weeks so hv said to go back to 2 ff. Said i might want to think about giving up feeding. I said i will give it 2 more weeks with just 8oz but she wasn't happy. Said i should go and talk to the doctor! God i don't know what to do. I love feeding but don't want to starve the poor child but is it just a case of the dreaded charts again??? We are both killing ourselves trying to do the best for our babies but are the older children suffering with the breast feeding experance???

my older 2 are definitely suffering - I'm feeding him almost constantly during the day (as well as expressing) - and when DH doesn't get home from work until 9.30 (well after the DS's are in bed) it means that I'm unable to give them any one on one time - only get time to run a bath and cook dinner (bathroom next to kitchen so I can do both at the same time) and get them tucked up in bed.......

With regards to the satisfaction 'factor' - even before he had ANY bottles he wasn't really satisfied - not like how he was after that bottle this evening.....

And now to add fuel to the fire DH has come home from work and we were talking about it - and he's said that I can continue breastfeeding DS3 as he does like to decide (3 nights ago he refused his 3am bottle and ended up in the bed with us earlier than normal) which one he has - infact DS3 postively adores latching on and falling asleep doing the occasional little suck in his sleep...........while he's also still very happily asleep now in the carrycot without anything to suck on ARGHHHHH

men are really helpful sometimes! I think you need a break. You could try ff for a week but express all the time to keep your boobs going. If theres a hugh change for the better then you have had a week to think if not then you can still return to feeding. Hope this helps. It does take it out of you. My friends favourite saying when the going get tough is " remember, your living the dream" ha ha

oh blimey - yesterdays constant feeding certainly had an effect - didn't get my morning feed in bed as I had to get up and express some milk just so he could latch on LOL.

Still undecided really so for now shall just keep plodding on as we are

big boobs today then. The bed feeds are lovely but does it hurt your back?
I still don't know what to do?? havn't given a ff today though just fed myself.

no doesn't hurt my back - I've found a way (developed from co-sleeping/feeding DS1 for 6 months LOL) of doing it so we're both comfortable.

Perhaps we can just plod along together until we've made our minds up

that would be great! DD was screaming a not settling today and i was so tempted but just can't. Not going to docs to ask them if i can bf my child! Will carry on for next two weeks and see what happens. Don't want to starve the poor child but what did they do before formula???

my posture for feeding is so bed it takes about 1/2 hour to crank myself up in the mornings!

bad not bed (just dreaming ha ha )

well I fed DS3 at about 11 this morning and he fell asleep - as per usual - in attached to the breast then came off and slept in my arms at 12 I put him down in the chair to dash and make lunch for DS2 and myself - he's only just starting to stir now.......and that was after a breastfeed - so I don't know what to make of it all.

great. Make the most of the peace! Dash round do your toilet run etc tea prepared? Have you any tips, DD keeps breaking off and nosing around or she just clamps down and noses around still attached, hurts alot, god help me when she has teeth! any ideas?

fanny, just read one of your earlier threads. I live not far from you. I'm your side of leamington.

wasn't sure where leamington was (until I looked on Multimap LOL) - you're not that far are you! In fact DH is over your way working today in Daventry .

Still haven't made my mind up - just given DS3 a bottle of formula though - really need him to settle as I'm playing the piano at toddler group in a little while and there's not much chance of that happening if he's attached to the breast (would have given him a bottle of ebm if I'd got it defrosted).

Hi i'm still unsure but not caved into extra bottle yet! I have had any easy week so lots of feeds. We did toddlers am. Whilst your on piano just sing really loud and you won't hear the cries!
Got a busy weekend, loading a skip with rubble and trying to make a start on decoratin our bedroom. Had dd at home and i'm sure the midwifes thought we were skwaters! Her photos are awful! Have a good day. I'm at work 2 nite so catch up tomorrow.
Good luck being bottle free!

Hi fanny how are you doing???

well yesterday he was mainly bottlefed (with me doing lots of expressing in between whiles) - I went to town for the entire morning leaving him in DH's capable hands and tbh I really enjoyed it.

He's refused his morning breastfeed this morning though - although I think that's got more to do with the fact he couldn't latch on (boobs the size of melons despite me expressing just before bed LOL) than not wanting it as he did have a good try.........off to express now so they're 'normal' size and he has a chance of getting on

Fanny, ds4 wouldn't/couldn't latch on at all so he was mix fed for about 5 weeks. It went so well, with his weight gain being excellent that TBH I think i was scared to rock the boat. I treid a fair few times to latch him on but neither of us could getthe hang of it so I carried on expressing.

Now, looking back I wish soooo much that's I'd tried harder.
I really don't like FF him and I really thought I;d be able to BF this time...I think I would have if I'd just tried harder.

If i was in your position I concentrate on the BF. A few of the due in Jan mum's had similar problems with excessive milk in the early weeks but have gone on to BF until now.

I'd scrap the FF and BF if its gone well to far.

LTH - scrapping the FF isn't really an option unless I seriously want to "rock the boat" with DH.......and I don't actually mind FFeeding him.

hi fanny, hows he been today? We have had a good day, been to the royal show. Has eaten much as shes to nosey when theres lots going on! God help us tonight. Shes just had a FF and gone to bed. Why doesn't dh like you bf? I think you would enjoy the freedom of ff and get you life back a little. But remember the kids grow up to fast and you can never go back. Dreading having her weighed n/w, the hv will go mad if shes lost weight again. She seems happy just needs feeding more often. I'm working all day tom so my sis is having her so she'll have to have ff. Chat soon

Had decent day today - he was awake at 5am - latched on in bed for a while, but then had a windy bum/trying to do a no.2 so got restless - went downstairs with him and gave him a bottle - he then slept for AGES (nearly didn't make it to church at 10!) - had a feed just before church, and both breast during the service, had a bottle at lunchtime and then more breast - managed to give him on side this evening and was going to offer the other but DH was keen to give him a bottle.......so I relented.

Yesterday I actually went to Boots late afternoon to buy 2 more bottles with the intent to switch to just formula - but couldn't do it (well I got the bottles but couldn't stop the BF).

I'm not exactly sure what DH's reasons are - haven't really dared to ask, think its partly to do with him regaining his birth weight VERY slowly, partly to do with the "blip" we had (where we HAD to give him a bottle of something until he started accepting the breast again) and possibly partly to do with the fact that he can be put in his cot to sleep for most of the night rather than co-sleeping (DH ended up sleeping in the spare room when I was co-sleeping with him.....).

Still been expressing - got LOADS yesterday (total of 7oz, and 8oz the day before - in bits during the day) - but only 3 1/2oz today - but haven't expressed a lot and he's had more bf today than the previous 2 days. Shall probably offer him lots of breast tomorrow afternoon/early evening while DH is at work - keep the supply up and all that....

Good luck. Try not to be guided by anyone else. It sounds like to me that you enjoy your feeds. Try and sit down and talk to dh about problems. You will need his full support if your going to continue.Explain all the benifits and how much easier it will in the long run. Do you swop boobs during feeds?
My day has been great, i have been to work all day. Big boobs when i got home though. And three Shattered kids.
Good luck with lots of feeds. Try not to do snacking and just big feeds. Have a good day.

I'm not letting him snack - when I've got the time to sit down and just let him get on with it it's as long as he wants on one, and then onto the other - so far milk supply seems to be holding up ok - and he does at least now happily take milk from a bottle from me

I'm glad hes taking a bottle, it will make life easier. I have always just feed from one side per feed. I'm probably teaching you to suck eggs but a feed starts with watery stuff then the creamy stuff. So bit like starter then mains for us, so should just need one boobie. Tell me to keep my nose out if you like. Happy feeding but don't let it affect your life and just do what makes you happy.

I know about the foremilk and hind milk stuff (thanks anyhow ) but I have a greedy little DS3......when he has formula he can easily take up to 6oz in a feed and he's only just over 5 weeks old ...............

FA starts to panic about the grocery bills once he's on solids too