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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

If you had to give one piece of advice to people considering bfing...?

114 replies

suis · 17/06/2007 23:07

I have been asked to attend a bfing workshop as sort of a "demonstration Mum" tomorrow. I don't have any training or anything, but the HV thinks it might help the workshop to have someone there who is currently bfing.

So I was thinking about what sort of things it would have been helpful to know about bfing when I was pregnant and what I would give as my one key piece of advice.... and so I thought I would ask what all of you think... ?

OP posts:
Highlander · 18/06/2007 11:01

Your baby is not a trainable dog. Feed on demand for 8 months. Imagine what it would be like as an adult if you were only allowed a drink every 3 hours. Remember feeding on demand may involve switching from breast to breast if the baby is thirsty, and may involve cluster or frequent feeding if he is going thorugh a growth spurt.

Babies scream a lot in the first few weeks - this does not mean your milk is 'poor'. swaddle, skin to skin, hold him all the time, feed as much as he wants.

Oh Jeez, I could go on and on and on and on.............

kerala · 18/06/2007 11:39

Totally agree with Boco - give into it. Dont even think about routines/housework/other people. Love the extension of pregnancy idea. Its such a relatively short time so try and enjoy it you will look back with misty eyes when its over.

A friend with a 2 week old stayed with me and would only feed her new born every 4 hours so she would get into a "routine". The tiny newborn would be mewling and rooting and she would look at her watch and say "tut tut not due for another forty minutes" and ignore the baby or hand her to someone else to "distract" her. I burst into tears after they went it was one of the saddest things I ever saw. The baby is now 5 months and the most passive baby I have ever come across, she lies in her cot without crying. But she is described as "good". Shudder shudder shudder. Vent on MN as didnt want to be judgemental at how a friend was dealing wiht her baby - but really!

terramum · 18/06/2007 11:54

Breastfeeding is a learned skill & it may take time for both mum & baby to get it right.

Seeing lots of women breastfeeding & talking to them at a bfing group like LLL or similar as well as reading the right kind of books & websites (ie ones approved by qualified BFCs) will help with realistic expectations of what life will be like with a new baby as well as the changes that occur as they get older.

Have a list of all the national helplines as well as local BFCs handy & use them if you are unsure about anything, even when you are in hospital.

Realise that with the right information & advice most problems can be worked through, solved or even prevented in the first place.

thell · 18/06/2007 15:30

The new WHO growth standards based on healthy breastfed babies from around the world are available on their website...
WHO Child Growth Standards
(they were released early last year and should be in use in this country by now )

I wish I had known that it is completely normal for a tiny baby to cry and need breastfeeding at any time - irrespective of when the last feed was, including 15 mins ago.

I can also recommend joining a postal dvd rental club.

Ladymuck · 18/06/2007 15:39

Take it day by day:- If you bf for even a day then your lo will have benefitted, if you get to a week then you've done more than 60odd% of women manage. When you get to 3 weeks you start to feel as if you know what you're doing. If you get to 6 weeks you can probably keep it up as long as you want. Take pride in how well you have done, even if you haven't gone as long as you first thought you would.

jura · 18/06/2007 15:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

skay · 18/06/2007 15:49

Great advice everyone!!!

But what do you tell a mum who's at wits end trying to BF, and at 8 wks is ready to give up?

kiera · 18/06/2007 16:20

just hang on and it WILL get better don't give up now - things only started to get better for me at nine weeks. now ds is 9 months tomorrow and I LOVE it

popsycal · 18/06/2007 16:21

learn to feed lying down as soon as possible

maveta · 18/06/2007 16:30

ooh yes another one... I was having real trouble with a fast letdown and a midwife showed me to feed him sat on my knee his tummy to my tummy. Best position ever, everyone who sees me do it looks astonished like they've never seen it before but he loves it, the fast letdown doesn't overwhelm him and because of the upright position he burps, farts and poos as he goes! And it's incredibly cute seeing him sitting there like a monkey with his arms hanging by his sides only holding on by his mouth

casbie · 18/06/2007 16:35

it takes practise.

-even if you've had babies previously, each baby and situation is different. take time to practise feeding baby.

-don't be afraid to contact a bf supporter/councillor for help in getting the latch right. if you get help early you can avoid a whole lot of problems!!

SydneyB · 18/06/2007 16:36

Absolutely second Ladymuck. Take it one day at a time. If you feel like giving up just say to yourself, I'll feed LO for one more day. Get through that day and say the same again. Don't think too far ahead. And it takes much longer than 6 weeks I think. DD and I weren't properly up and running and I wasn't really enjoying it until about 12 weeks. Then I LOVED it until having to give up to go back to work. SO miss it now, sob. Also, get advice re jaundice sleepy babies. BEST piece of advice I had that saved it for me was to get lots of 'skin to skin' and I got this from an NCT helpline rather than my hospital...

Blu · 18/06/2007 16:41

How to get outside help, and to have the cnfidence to ask for it quickly.
How to feed lying down in bed.

hermykne · 18/06/2007 16:47

to go to local groups - i think people think breastfeeding groups can be a bunch of hippies and one could be surprised .

take it slowly and place no unnecessary demands on oyurself or family - like invites to family gatherings etc.

it takes up to 12 weeks for it all to settle into a lovely pattern

thats 3 bits sorry

hermykne · 18/06/2007 16:47

to go to local groups - i think people think breastfeeding groups can be a bunch of hippies and one could be surprised .

take it slowly and place no unnecessary demands on oyurself or family - like invites to family gatherings etc.

it takes up to 12 weeks for it all to settle into a lovely pattern

thats 3 bits sorry

BerlinMum · 18/06/2007 17:00

Best piece of advice I had came from my sil who said "If you really want to do it you'll do it" ie don't let anyone tell you you've got no milk (how many times have a heard people give that as a reason for giving up)or that you've got the wrong shaped nipples and other nonsense. And remember, the more you let the baby feed the more milk you make - the moment you start giving supplementary bottles "because the baby's still hungry" you doom yourself to failure.
My babies were born in France - which is not big on breast feeding - but I was absolutely determined and armed with this advice I persisted and breastfed both children until the age of around 16 months. Anyone can do it!

kinki · 18/06/2007 17:06

Haven't read all the posts yet so sorry if I repeat. Sorry also if this counteracts what you are doing (!) but I'd say don't get too bogged down with advice from everyone. A woman is built to feed, and if you look to the animal world you'll see every other mammal feeding their young instinctively and naturally. Just try to tune into what your body is telling you to do, and follow your intuition.

Also it is possible for bf babies to go up to 10 days between poos, since breast milk has little by-products or waste. After the initial worry, this was actually quite good in terms of amount of nappy changes!

Judy1234 · 18/06/2007 17:23

Be positive.
Tel them as other said most women manage it fine.
Tell them (if it's true for you) that it can actually be pleasurable (it was for me), that's it's something some women enjoy as much as "have to do".
Tell them to ignore any negative relatives.
tell them no need for any kit, nothing to buy, much cheaper.
Go on about how much it helps you lose weight which is very material for lot of women.

ruddynorah · 18/06/2007 17:27

not to let others drag you down. well meaning MILs, mums, friends etc will all have 'advice' and stories to tell. you have to be determined through all this. the first few weeks are often hard work, you have to get through this bit before it gets easy.

also, have a good look at kellymom.com now, and throughout bfing. it's great, was my bible.

finally, HVs and GPs are usually NOT very qualified to give bf advice. don't expect them to be knowledgable or supportive.

Mossy · 18/06/2007 17:30

My one piece of advice would be, explain to your dh/dp that it is perfectly normal to be glued to the sofa almost 24/7 for the first few weeks. This will save a lot of resentment from him when you are asking him to run around doing all the chores and he thinks you're being lazy.

If he doesn't believe you (mine didn't) and thinks you are doing something wrong and should give your lo formula (mine did) get a health professional who is clued up on bfing to explain to him that it is perfectly normal. Sometimes I think some men respond better being told by an "expert".

CuttingCod · 18/06/2007 17:31

id say dont it sa PITA

popsycal · 18/06/2007 17:51

nice one cod

CuttingCod · 18/06/2007 18:15

BAH
kidding

MadamePlatypus · 18/06/2007 18:23

don't get hung up on how much milk you are producing, or try to measure it - thats not how bf works.

There are times in your life where you run around achieving things and times in your life when you can snuggle up with your baby, watch old movies and read magazines. there will be relatively few opportunities to do the latter so do not feel you should be doing anything else.

CorrieDale · 18/06/2007 18:26

The only people who can give you accurate and helpful advice when things aren't going well are breastfeeding counsellors. Arm yourself with the helpline telephone numbers NOW!

The best support you can get from friends/relatives/partners is of the cheerleading variety. Let them know that what you want to hear is lots of praise for how well you're doing, even (especially!) if you're struggling. And you would welcome practical assistance of the fetching, carrying, washing and cooking variety. But tips such as 'stop eating cauliflower' and 'a top up of formula will help him sleep through' are not helpful or welcome!

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