If you had to give one piece of advice to people considering bfing...?

[suis]

I have been asked to attend a bfing workshop as sort of a "demonstration Mum" tomorrow. I don't have any training or anything, but the HV thinks it might help the workshop to have someone there who is currently bfing.

So I was thinking about what sort of things it would have been helpful to know about bfing when I was pregnant and what I would give as my one key piece of advice.... and so I thought I would ask what all of you think... ?

Have a good position when feeding. I always found the only reason (for me) I became sore was because I was too lazy to get up and sit in a good position, would slouch in bed and it didn't work for me.

tell them about the amazing support on mumsnet!

have a couple of cartons of formula in the house, just knowing they are there if it really gets too awful helped me get through some painful moments. And it´s not poison - it´s OKAY if you do end up giving it just to get you over a hump. My 7 week old has had formula 3 times, it upset me every time but i´d never have got to 6 weeks without those precious breaks and now it´s so easy..

also, thrush is horrible, tongue tie is painful and you might get every possible ailment going but they are ALL TREATABLE so don´t stop looking for help until someone gives you a solution!

oo oo can i have one more?! lol

practice feeding lying down as much as possible, it will save your life during those interminable night feeds!

Don't set a time frame to breastfeed - just breastfeed "for today" or "for this feed". Before you know it you have been going for 6 months, and when if do give up there isn't that element of guilt/embarrassment that you didn't reach the target you had set for yourself.

(A friend gave me that advice when I was pregnant with DS).

Cluster feeding is normal in the evenings not just for growth spurts. You can end up feeding on and off for 4-5 hours sometimes and there is nothing wrong with it. Don't try and space out feeds.

Sorry but I would not advise having formula in the house, too tempting to cave in for some. Giving an odd bottle of formula or one each evening will undo the benefits of the "virgin gut", formula is not poison but this is fact.

Jaundice can be a bit tricky - if you have a jaundiced baby, get some advice.

Sorry, another one. If you have images of yourself as a mother doing lots of things - cooking, cleaning, rushing about etc - they will probably be from your own mother, who was doing this looooonnnnnngggg after she finished bfing. Just remember that when you are breastfeeding you ARE doing something - the most important thing.

If not too tired, feed lying down or position them so they're lying across you. My DD used to wriggle like mad, til we tried this, then feeding got a lot easier and better.

Mine would be to express regularly and build up a stash in the freezer. Also, make sure you introduce a bottle in the first few weeks, so someone else can give a bottle of EBM when you need a break.

I think I was a lot less resentful of my lost freedom because I knew if I needed a break, or just an early night occasionally, my ds would still get lovely breast milk in a bottle from his Daddy - great for father / son bonding too!!!

Also, expect it to take a few weeks for it to happen easily. Keep persevering - I know so many people who gave up after a day or two, saying 'My LO can't do it' or other such reasons. Having a bottle of EBM as back up means you can afford to keep trying without worrying your lo will starve!!

I've had fantastic experiences of bf both times, - especially with dd1, and i think that's because i didn't give myself any pressure to do anything else. I just curled up on a comfy chair and fed for what seemed like weeks, if the baby cried, i fed her - and it meant she was a calm and relaxed baby - and i was calm and relaxed. My house looked like it had been burgled, but we were all happy.

People i know who have struggled have been the ones who feel they need to be out and about and in a routine, cleaning and ironing and having streams of guests - i think its better to see those first 6 weeks as an extention of pregnancy and keep the baby attached to you and relax.

It's harder to dedicate the same time when you have a toddler, so cherish those first weeks with a first baby, its an amazing time.

It will take up to 8 weeks not to be hell! Do not expect anything other than to feed your baby what feels like 24/7 for the first few weeks. You will feel like it is all wrong and will want to fix it by some miracle cure but you can't it's natures way!

my one piece of advice? MN!! closely followed by kellymom

It will take up to 8 weeks not to be hell! Do not expect anything other than to feed your baby what feels like 24/7 for the first few weeks. You will feel like it is all wrong and will want to fix it by some miracle cure but you can't it's natures way!

Ignore the people who say 'If they're sleeping contentedly then they're obviously getting enough milk, they would cry if they're hungry', because 2 of mine were VERY sleepy, because they WEREN'T feeding properly. And also the old 'bfed babies can go up to 2 weeks without a poo' without qualifying that this is LATER, not at the newborn stage.

oh and no matter how bad you feel it is very unlikely that you will die from lack of sleep

It can hurt even when everything's right

Count slowly to 10 .. if the pain hasn't gone by 10 then there's something wrong.. check latch

Keep counting slowly to 10 every time you breastfeed .. over the first few weeks you'll get to lower and lower numbers until you won't need to count at all

Don't start by thinking you'll have problems .. some babies just know how to do it .. and they'll teach you .. and you might be one of the lucky ones who just fall into it with no issues

oh PLUS what Boco said

And if your nipples are unbearably sore nipple shields can be used early on although if your baby gets used to them then you will have to use them indefinately. A much better prospect rather than being forced to stop due to sore nipples.

Give it at least two weeks before you start to feel like you are doing it right, and before it gets easier.

Feed lying down but make it safe - if i'd of been told this in the beginning the whole experience would of been so much easier - instead mw and hv were obsessed with the dangers of lying down until my friends sister who is a mw and has bf herself said what twaddle and showed me the safe way.

And try to enjoy??! You may need peserverence & it takes w while to get sorted but boy when it is....It it is such a wonderful & satisfing feeling when it all comes together & works.

I would also add (at the end?) that if they give it their best shot and it doesn't work out they are not failures or bad mothers and (as someone else has said) formula is not poison. There are a million and one aspects to good parenting that is not tied up with how you feed them.

You may not want to say this but regardless of how much effort/hard work some mums put in, with all the help and advice in the world it still may not work out for whatever reason and it may help those mothers to not feel the awful guilt that can surround that.

Suport - have bf phone numbers but also educate your partner - if they are pro breastfeeding it makes all the difference - my DH was my champion when it was difficult - think his mantra was "just one more feed..."

(Now still going at 9 months )