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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

AIBU: degrading to feed DC in toilet?

46 replies

youpeskykids · 08/06/2007 18:31

A couple of days ago, I went to a very very well known 'British Institution' department store in my local town.

I'd been queueing quite a while and by the time I finished, DS (10weeks old) needed feeding.

This store had a massive refurb/refit about a year ago and so thought nothing of it when making my way to the signs for the feeding/changing facilities.

I wasn't best pleased that the door to the feeding room was extremely stiff and narrow (good job I only had a stroller buggy, and not my 3 wheeler travel system)but it was put at an angle which meant getting in was extremely difficult. I was absolutely horrified that the so called "feeding room" was actually the childs toilet/change area with 2 chairs in it. There were 6 nappy bins - 5 of them were full to the brim and the stench of sh*tty nappies was unbearable. I took the liberty of looking at the cleaning rota that you often find on the back of the door which claimed the room had been cleaned 40 mins prior to my arrival. Yeah right.....I don't think so!

If it wasn't for the fact that DS was rather vocally claiming his need for milk, I would have struggled back out again and gone over the road to Mothercare's feeding room (which is lovely).

Anyone else out there feel its quite degrading to expect parents to feed their DC in a stinking toilet? Not sure what I was more shocked by, the uncleanliness, or the fact that I had to feed my DC in a toilet with no windows or even a visible extractor fan.

Before someone jumps down my throat, I DON'T EXPECT any shop to provide facilities for parents/children, nor do I expect the same comfy and clean environment you have at home. But if they are going to provide facilities, surely they should be clean and reasonably pleasant places to sit?

Am I the only one not to like feeding my DS in a toilet?

Was thinking of writing a letter of complaint to the store just to see what the response would be....

OP posts:

ruddynorah · 08/06/2007 18:35

feeding rooms often double up as baby changing rooms. write to the store to tell them their cleaning contractors aren't keeping the room clean. other than that i would just have fed dd in the store, not in a stinking room.

NotQuiteCockney · 08/06/2007 18:36

Yeah, I'm afraid 'feeding rooms' are often also changing rooms. I've only ever used one, in a John Lewis. It was ok, but any cafe is nicer, imo.

coleyboy · 08/06/2007 18:37

You are most certainly not being unreasonable. It sounds VILE.

I would most defo write a letter of complaint.

tissy · 08/06/2007 18:38

surely not John Lewis? ours in Glasgow has two lovely feeing/ changing areas, loads of space and feeding areas curtained off from the changing areas. One even has a "double" toilet, so child and parent can go at the same time!

ruddynorah · 08/06/2007 18:38

yes, i'd always head for the cafe.

yummybunnymummy · 08/06/2007 18:39

Hi, I would certainly write and complain, normally its is through ignorance that this situation arises. Unless you are a B/F mum or have a B/F partner etc you don't really think about their needs.

I was in our local tescos a few weeks ago and my ds2 was desperate for some milk, the shop was fairly quiet, so I sat in a corner, discretely and fed him, an employeee aproached me very nicely saying that they had a nursing room which I was more than welcome to use. Once I had explained that both my son and me did not particularly enjoy the experience of feeding in a toilet, he was extremely understanding, in as far as saying he hadn't thought of it in that way before.

I agree that we cannot expect facilities everywhere we go but when they are advertised they should be up to scratch and acceptable.

luciemule · 08/06/2007 18:39

Definitely write to the store and tell them about the state of cleanliness and you wouldn't want to eat your lunch in a public loo so why would you want to sit and feed tyour baby in one.

Bit different if there's only a baby change table and a feeding area but to have a loo in there is a bit gros and nappy bins are vile at the best of times!

Like ruddynorah, I'd have found a chair in the store itself /cafe and fed your DS there.

Original poster

youpeskykids · 08/06/2007 18:44

I'm bottle feeding - yep, wished I'd sat in the cafe area and had a cuppa whilst I was there!!!

Don't worry Tissy, twasn't good ol' John Lewis (they're far too refined - every feeding room of theirs I've been in is lovely and HUGE!). It was the OTHER british institution store!

Will get my angry head on later and send a letter.....

OP posts:

yummybunnymummy · 08/06/2007 18:48

Sorry for assuming you were B/F, in a way expecting bottle feeding mums to feed in a toilet area is even more unhygenic in my opinion, write in and air your feelings.

Original poster

youpeskykids · 08/06/2007 18:49

No need to be sorry yummybunnymummy!

OP posts:

FrannyandZooey · 08/06/2007 18:51

Revolting isn't it? I would write and tell them what you thought of it, yes

HenriettaHippo · 08/06/2007 18:54

Definitely write in. Maybe even hand deliver it, and get the manager to go with you to see the room (check first that it's still dirty though!).

And next time, don't bother with feeding in those rooms, just use one of their nice display sofas in the window....

Original poster

youpeskykids · 08/06/2007 18:59

Funnily enough, this particular store has a nice comfy display sofa in the Lingerie dept! I wonder who that's for eh?!

Have rung store and got name of manager so will write a letter - thought of mentioning it whilst I was in there, but sometimes I think it's easy to be fobbed off...although realise in hindsight that at least the manager would have been able to see for himself.

OP posts:

ruddynorah · 08/06/2007 19:00

or herself it might be me

Original poster

youpeskykids · 08/06/2007 19:21

ha ha ha, ye of little faith - is your real name Stuart!?

How odd.....

OP posts:

ruddynorah · 08/06/2007 19:22

oh i see you already got the manager's name!

Indith · 08/06/2007 19:29

Was in Whomovedmychocolate who once said 'toilets are for urinating and deficating, we are doing neither'? Best response ever.

I had my first feeding/babychange room experience the other day. Not as bad as one in the op but I'm not keen to repeat it! Ended up feeding in the changing room of the lingerie department while waiting to be measured! (because obviously if mummy has her top off it must be dinner time). Much nicer.

Twinklemegan · 09/06/2007 00:21

Our Mothercare World expects you to feed in a stinking toilet and changing area as far as I can tell (unless there's another feeding room I don't know about).

jennyftm · 09/06/2007 01:03

There are people who run awards for good feeding areas and I am sure there is a booklet produced - I just cant think of their name - does anyone know ?

That is so stressful - esp. when they made you queue in the first place.

Jenkeywoo · 09/06/2007 21:05

I was feeding outdoors at the shopping centre near me when a security guard came up to me and 'suggested' I might be comfortable somewhere else - I refused to move and later checked out the somewhere else and again it was a plastic chair in the baby changing room, again nappies everywhere. I have to say I have always fed DD anywhere I fancied and have never sat in one of these rooms mainly because I have a toddler in toe who is much more easily placated with a drink and snack in a cafe than 30 mins in a stinky changing room. But I do understand that not every woman feels comfortable enough to breastfeed 'on show' and there should be somewhere quiet that is not a toilet available! I've heard people rave about Boots feeding rooms, ok so they have a nice glider chair but again the piles of pooey nappies. The only civilised baby changing I have ever found is John Lewis. Agree you should write a letter, I emailed the centre when I was challenged and was told that I was most welcome to breastfeed my baby anywhere I wanted to at the centre.

maisym · 09/06/2007 21:10

I bf where every was convenient - on a bench, in a cafe - I've never bf in a bf room!! as I like to watch the world go by - or keep my other kids occupied.

lomondgal · 09/06/2007 21:12

Hi I would def complain, I breastfed my daughter and often felt too self conscious to feed in cafes so would head to these rooms, some of them are disgusting. How would the managers like to take their tea breaks in a toilet?!

sweetjane · 09/06/2007 21:26

Recently had the same experience in M&S - only baby facilities were a fold down changing table and a plastic chair in the corner of the ladies' loos, which were hot and stinky and full of people queuing for the loos

I went to the ladies changing rooms in the knicker departnment and got them to let me feed ds in a changing cubicle. They seemed really surprised, as if no one had ever asked them before!?

MadamePlatypus · 09/06/2007 21:38

Yes, I think you should write a letter of complaint. They are either providing a place for you to feed or they aren't.

The only feeding room I have every used was John Lewis, which is also the baby changing area. However, it is quite a big room and the bins are emptied. I tend to go to Starbucks. (Ooh yes you need feeding, well I had better buy a cake whilst I am here...)

It sounds as though it would even be a bad place to change your baby!

Trinityrhino · 09/06/2007 21:42

You are not being unreasonable
If I were you I would have dragged one of the chairs out of the 'feeding room' and fed her in the shop.

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