AIBU: degrading to feed DC in toilet?

[youpeskykids]

A couple of days ago, I went to a very very well known 'British Institution' department store in my local town.

I'd been queueing quite a while and by the time I finished, DS (10weeks old) needed feeding.

This store had a massive refurb/refit about a year ago and so thought nothing of it when making my way to the signs for the feeding/changing facilities.

I wasn't best pleased that the door to the feeding room was extremely stiff and narrow (good job I only had a stroller buggy, and not my 3 wheeler travel system)but it was put at an angle which meant getting in was extremely difficult. I was absolutely horrified that the so called "feeding room" was actually the childs toilet/change area with 2 chairs in it. There were 6 nappy bins - 5 of them were full to the brim and the stench of sh*tty nappies was unbearable. I took the liberty of looking at the cleaning rota that you often find on the back of the door which claimed the room had been cleaned 40 mins prior to my arrival. Yeah right.....I don't think so!

If it wasn't for the fact that DS was rather vocally claiming his need for milk, I would have struggled back out again and gone over the road to Mothercare's feeding room (which is lovely).

Anyone else out there feel its quite degrading to expect parents to feed their DC in a stinking toilet? Not sure what I was more shocked by, the uncleanliness, or the fact that I had to feed my DC in a toilet with no windows or even a visible extractor fan.

Before someone jumps down my throat, I DON'T EXPECT any shop to provide facilities for parents/children, nor do I expect the same comfy and clean environment you have at home. But if they are going to provide facilities, surely they should be clean and reasonably pleasant places to sit?

Am I the only one not to like feeding my DS in a toilet?

Was thinking of writing a letter of complaint to the store just to see what the response would be....

sorry him

I once asked about feeding DS in M&S - nice woman told me to use one of the changing rooms as the alternative was the toilet which wasn't that clean

just out of sheer curiosity, and i am aware i could be opening a can of worms here, but why did you go to a feeding room if you were ff-ing?? i know that some of those rooms have bottle warmers, but most cafes are ok if you ask for a mug of hot water to warm a bottle up. ime, most of the shocked expressions one gets whilst feeding a baby is when bf-ing.

actually, on a different note, i got quite cross at my new Mothercare store, who've built a lovely "nursing mothers lounge", quite separate from the changing facilities, while ff-ers get a bench and a bottle warmer next to the nappy bin! not sure why they can't go in the "nursing mothers lounge", aren't they nursing too??

what a very strange question? Why on earth wouldn't I go to a feeding room? I was feeding my son afterall?! What does it matter that I was bottle feeding him?
Consider worm can open!

Not sure if you're a bf or ff mother so not sure what your experiences are, but certainly here where I live, it is VERY DIFFICULT to get a jug of warm/hot water. I got fed up of having the same argument with cafe/restaurant/coffee shop staff when I fed my DS1 (now 3.5). Apparantly "health & safety laws" prevented staff from allowing me to have a jug of hot water.......BUT would happily serve me a pot of tea.

Quelle difference?

i recently fed on the comfy sofas in the middle of our asda they are for the opticians patients. I did ask and they didn't mind!

Would def. have used lingerie dept sofa seems to be what it was put there for.

Had I not wanted a coffee that is.

Don't really use feeding rooms tbh prob. because there are frequently fairly grotty. urban would have assumed ffeeding mums would use nice feeding room too not grotty bench. Problem with changing rooms is that they don't often have seats. Not a helpful comment but I didn't bother warming bottle when I used one either so could just hand it to lo (once about 4 months) and just get on with it!

God yeah, all that airborne faecal matter in the air, settling on the bottle. Yuck. Just yuck. I can't believe stores haven't moved on since 1997/1998 when I was last feeding babies. They've had time to have several refits since then, surely? I'd certainly write.

Also, as I was particularly militant about breastfeeding everywhere and anywhere, I used to do it in the covered shopping centre in the town we lived in. I was desperate for someone to approach me, just once, to complain, so I could make a stand about it, but no bugger ever did, and I remained a rebel without a cause. Very galling.

When I said "yeah" earlier, obviously I meant NO, YANBU.

youpeskykids - i'm bf-ing, and have had stares and comments whilst feeding, including having a man come up to me and shout in my face when i was feeding in my local park!

if a cafe won't give you a jug of hot water when you ask because of health and safety, ask them to bring it over to your table. that's what my friends who ff do!

btw - YANBU, "Mother & Baby" rooms are vile, and i wish that feeding babies - ff or bf - wasn't such a big deal in this country!

I'm surprised you went to a feeding room, tbh - why do you need to be discreet if you are bottle feeding? (Not that I think b/f mothers need to hide away but can see how someone might want to.) In your shoes, I'd just sit on any handy sofa or at a cafe table and get the bottle out. Can't imagine anyone would object (and stuff them if they do).

Where abouts are you?? The layout of getting to the baby changing etc sounds veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery familiar!

I am also suprised you went to a feeding room TBH, I don't think it is an odd question to ask, Please forgive me if I am being patronising, buthave you tried makeing up the bottles with water. Leaving them to cool at room temp, then shaking the powder in at last minute? No need to warm, no need for a fridge, feed anywhere!!

enough powder premeasured for 3 feeds

duchesse at rebel without a cause
I don't mind feeding in a room with a baby changing mat etc - after all the 2 tend to go together (quite quickly IME), and DS has his mat in his bedroom, but would draw the line at toilets and overflowing nappy bins [yuck]

Sent letter yesterday to Store Manager, so let's see what HE has to say for himself (on behalf of the store).

And thanks re feeding tips, yes I do have powder pots and no I don't warm milk up.

Went to said room so that I could feed and change DS..

Will let you all know what & have to say for themselves!!!

just posted on pn thread about this

talk about turning a corner with bf-ing- yesterday I was in a big dept store when I needed to feed N. They showed me the feeding room which was basically a toilet with a chair where the loo would be. Hideous. I sat there for 5 mins before I thought, sod this, I´m not spending half an hour staring at a stinking public loo wall. Whacked on a vest top under my t-shirt (that I just happened to have on me!), pull the t´shirt up and pulled my boob out the top of the vest, stuck him on, slipped the t-shirt down a weee bit so it rested on his nose and off I went pushing the buggy with the other hand. All the way down in the lift, through the store, 15mins walk up the main shopping street until I got to a cafe with an outdoor terrace where I could have a water and finish feeding in peace.

Repeated on the other boob on the (packed) train home!

if i had planned such brazen feeding in advance i´d have cringed at the thought but would rather the world stared than feed him in a crappy place.

YANBU. Sounds awful.

Baby feeding rooms are rarely very nice or interesting. Cafes, or even just a bench, are much nicer IME whether you are ff or bf and I have done both with both my children. I used feeding rooms on occasion with DS but never with DD.