Negative breastfeeding comments

[Someoneelsee]

I'm heading towards 5 months in to EBing my son and happily doing it wherever and whenever. Walking round the shops, sat in a restaurant, walking on the school run, you name it.. I've never been met with anything other than support. Whether it's the waitress asking if I'd like my food taken back to the kitchen to keep hot, shop assistants offering me a chair, offered glasses of water etc I can't imagine anyone saying anything negative.
My sister has a baby the same age as mine and was recently asked to sit in a private room, when she said "oh no I'm fine thank you", was told "no, I want you to please move into this private room". I'm so shocked! You hear about these things but just don't imagine it ever happening, it makes me wonder how common it is.
Has anyone else ever experienced negative comments whilst breastfeeding?
Positive comments also welcome

Bump

I can't talk from experience as I was unfortunately unable to BF. But some friends of mine have had really negative comments, surprisingly from the older generation! We were out one day and instead of seeing a natural thing of feeding her baby a group of elderly ladies commented on how inappropriate it was that my friend was 'showing herself' in public! We explained her baby was having lunch just like the group of ladies but it fell on deaf ears.

Unfortunately not everyone sees it as the most natural thing in the world!

Unfortunately it does seem to be a pattern now that the older generation are more set in their ways and unwilling to listen to a different opinion..not that breastfeeding is a new trend they're not used to?! Strange isn't it!

I had my DC 20 something years ago & can honestly say I never experienced any negativity about breastfeeding in public, and in fact got plenty of support.

I can honestly say that the only people who were negative & unsupportive were DM & MIL, both of whom had formula fed in the 60s & thought breastfeeding was unnecessary. Fortunately I have a thick skin & ignored all their comments.

I feel if I'm sitting in a restaurant or a fairly closed environment people will notice and then I notice them actively trying not to look. Maybe because they don't want to make me feel uncomfortable, maybe because they feel uncomfortable but I couldn't imagine anyone saying anything!

Similarly to you though, my dad is very anti it. Constantly tells me that with formula you know exactly what's in it and know what he's getting/how much and jumps at the chance to "jokingly" say "oh he's crying because he's starving, because his mum won't give him a bottle." Luckily I'm not offering to BF my dad so it's none of his bloody business

I think that generation raised their babies very differently but it's still no excuse for being so rude.

I have only had my son two weeks now and bf. My sister's husband already commented while I was in my own house feeding that it made him uncomfortable and covered his eyes. He got a sharp word and told to less than politely man up. I don't get it, it's hardly sexual or wierd to bf.

I'm a bit worried about bf in public, I haven't tried yet other than at doctors, largely as I have massive boobs (even without the milk being in) so find being discreet and feeding under a top difficult.

Honestly I just don’t get the weirdness towards breastfeeding at all. You’re feeding your baby in the way nature intended. It’s hard enough for some women to do in the first place without being judged or made to feel awkward.

Nervous about having big boobs and worried about how others will react is something no woman should ever have to feel.

I'm only on day 5 of breastfeeding (!) and feel incredibly lucky that so far it's going really well, but I can't work out how I'm ever going to get more discreet at it! I haven't managed so far to latch him on without sitting with my whole boob out for a while, and while I've seen lots of women breastfeed in public I've never seen one just whack a whole breast out for five minutes while she fiddles, so I imagine people would stare at me! I think some better clothes might help - turns out I own basically nothing I can breastfeed in - but I also think there must be a knack to doing it without fully exposing yourself that I don't yet have?!

I have bf 3 and have never once had a negative comment, nor do I know anyone that has either. They would have been met with short shrift if I had

but I do think there are some mothers that are on the defensive when bf in public. I have one friend that bf hers for 2+ years and was always spoiling for a fight about it. She would glare defiantly at anyone who even glanced in her direction. That's a whole other story though.

LisaSimpsonsbff the cheap Primark cami vests are your friend! In this weather you could wear two at a time. Lift top one up and pull bottom one down.
Cold weather just wear one under whatever else you're wearing and pull down.

I breastfed my twins until about 18 months.

I never had a stranger comment negatively. Most people don’t notice even when you are feeding twins one after the other and therefore taking a long time.

I had lots of smiles and once a very old lady came up to me and said how wonderful it was that I was breastfeeding and how beautiful my babies were.

I had one chap sit down next to me in a public place who hadn’t noticed before he sat down that I was feeding. He looked mortified once he realised but didn’t say a word just angled his body so he wasn’t looking at me directly which I thought was quite sweet.

Spangly I’m surprised that your sister didn’t tell her DH off? How rude.

Everyone who visited our house when our twins were babies knew that I was feeding and that any hang ups were entirely their own issue.

Sitting in a quiet grassy area in a park!
But the absolute worse was taking DD for a check up at the childrens hospital. (10yrs ago)

Sat in the waiting rooms, a nurse comes over and says 'I am sorry, it is a bit inconvenient you doing that here'
I was taken aback, but asked her if she would be kind enough to point me in the direction of a private room.
She replied, there isn't one but there is cubicles in the ladies toilets.
I filled with rage! I told her I will feed my baby her lunch in the toilet if she is willing to eat hers inn the toilets!
I refused to move!

I was only 21 at the time. I was very aware of people looking snd judging. It was awful. Everybody had an opinion, good or bad! Honestly, I just wanted to feed my baby!

DD 2 and 3...I never experienced one comment. I have had someone look in disgust! I tend to get their eye contact and smile at them. They then feel awkward and look away.

Best experience was when a little girl aged 5/6 was with her pregnant Mum. She asked her mummy if she will be feeding baby like that. She then started asking me lots of questions. Her mum asked if I minded, as she is planning to BF
The little girl had such cute little questions. 'Does it hurt?' 'Is it boring' 'can I feel the milk being made'
The funniest though was when she asked if I had to sniff it incase it is off, like mummy does at home!

Personally I'd just vote with my feet if I didn't like it, but maybe it's a place a certain type of Person frequents where they don't like seeing bf or its their policy to sit people in a comfortable room - in a bit meh about the 'shock' if you're not given right to get your breasts out where you want - of places don't want you too for whatever reason then just don't go there

Yes Lisa a cami vest and a tshirt works well with a card I for extra coverage if necessary.

Pull the tshirt up and the cami down and the baby covers the rest.

It does take a bit of practice though! I certainly wasn’t feeding in public at 5 days post partum.

Don’t worry, you’ll quickly get really good at it!

My sister rolled her eyes at him.
I personally would rather see bf than men without their shirts on in public places just cause it's hot.
I get the voting with your feet thing but it's natural n normal. My friend bottle feeds everywhere she goes and I dont really see the difference. Hopefully I will get better at bf and it will become easier .

I have had loads of positive experiences out and about breastfeeding, and only one negative.

Thai/Philippino waitress, who told me how lovely (and rare) it was too see someone breastfeed in public in the UK and that she had bf her 2 children and really enjoyed it and that they never got ill.

Being offered a seat in a changing room in m&s when DD was tiny and getting herself all worked up in her pram, and needed feeding somewhat quiet to calm down.

GPs receptionist finding me a private room to feed tiny DD when she had thrush and doctor was running late.

Elderly ladies reminiscing about their long ago bf days.

Lots of smiles from people passing by (female and male).

And one pissed up alcoholic/druggie making a lewd remark, although given it was in the heatwave I doubt I was the only female subject to his dickish behaviour that day.

Only ever from family, mainly ex's family. Never ever encountered it from strangers. I think people are aware it would be hugely impolite. I'm not sure where all of these stories about public BF shaming come from tbh.

Even when DS was enormous (over 2) I only ever got a double take once and the guy didn't say anything.

And Lisa yes it gets easier/quicker, I couldn't do it at 5 days either :)

Yes. Dh's family were quite hostile and unhelpful about me bf. Also had a few attempts to make me bf in the loos in some shops etc. About ten years ago.

I didn't have any negative experience but my most surprising positive one was myself and two friends bf our babies in the seated viewing area after swimming. We were all sat around one about and a couple of old dears sat at the one next to us.

One said oh look at that and the other said you don't see that very much, isn't it great!

I breastfed twins. When they were 3 months old we drove a very long way to visit DPs relative who was about 80. After a couple of hours they twins started to get restless and my boobs were sore, so I said I had to feed them and she said ‘oh no, you won’t be doing that in my house. That’s wrong, I don’t agree with that.’. So we had to leave. She later phoned to say how upset she was that we had to leave so soon after arriving - we didn’t see her for the rest of the trip!

I think it's very emotive for the older generation, a lot of whom were really sold formula as this miracle product far better than breast milk.
My mum's mum used to stand over her while she fed, making negative comments about how selfish my mum was (they lived together) and how baby wasn't getting enough! I can't think of anything harder when trying to establish feeding!
My gran who is late 80s said when I was feeding at her house 'i tried but my milk was no good'. She still sounded sad about it. Probably her milk was fine, just got told to only feed baby every 4 hours so she couldn't keep up supply.
I have been very lucky to have support from mum and sisters with so much experience plus living in a city where it's totally normal, otherwise I'm not sure if it would have worked out for us.

It took me ages to build up the courage to breastfeed in public, which meant I didn't really leave the house for a long time after she was born, including not even going to any baby groups until she was 6 months. Needn't have worried though because I never once had a negative comment.

Closest I got to any negative comments was just from family really, going on about how I was crazy for still breastfeeding and wasn't it time to stop now etc. I only fed her for a year 🤷‍♀️

I found it easiest to just get my whole boob out, I had enough trouble getting her latched on correctly without worrying about being discreet about it. I generally used those strapped tops from H&M that have clips like nursing bras, it wasn't until she was much older and feeding basically required no input from me (other than providing the boobs of course) that I started wearing layers over the top. So just do whatever you need to do to feed your baby comfortably, most people don't even seem to notice when you've got your boob out anyway.

That being said, at 5 days post-birth I was crying every time I fed her because it was so painful, spent most of my time hiding upstairs because we had family staying and I just generally couldn't stop crying and I didn't want them to think I was totally crazy, and I think I'd had a grand total of two showers since she was born. So if you're even contemplating going out you're doing very well if you ask me!

It took me ages to build up the courage to breastfeed in public, which meant I didn't really leave the house for a long time after she was born, including not even going to any baby groups until she was 6 months. Needn't have worried though because I never once had a negative comment.

Closest I got to any negative comments was just from family really, going on about how I was crazy for still breastfeeding and wasn't it time to stop now etc. I only fed her for a year 🤷‍♀️

I found it easiest to just get my whole boob out, I had enough trouble getting her latched on correctly without worrying about being discreet about it. I generally used those strapped tops from H&M that have clips like nursing bras, it wasn't until she was much older and feeding basically required no input from me (other than providing the boobs of course) that I started wearing layers over the top. So just do whatever you need to do to feed your baby comfortably, most people don't even seem to notice when you've got your boob out anyway.

That being said, at 5 days post-birth I was crying every time I fed her because it was so painful, spent most of my time hiding upstairs because we had family staying and I just generally couldn't stop crying and I didn't want them to think I was totally crazy, and I think I'd had a grand total of two showers since she was born. So if you're even contemplating going out you're doing very well if you ask me!