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Asked to move when breastfeeding in hospital - final letter, comments/support please

48 replies

BlueberryPancake · 25/05/2007 21:30

Hi Everyone, I posted a draft of this letter earlier today and got some very good responses, here's my final version. I was basically asked to move to a more 'suitable' location whilst breastfeeding in a waiting area at Whipps Cross hospital in London. Here's my complaint letter:

The Manager
The Fracture and Orthopaedic Clinic
Whipps Cross Hospital
Whipps Cross Road
Leytonstone
London
E11 1NR

Friday, 25th May 2007

Dear Manager,

I attended the Fracture and Orthopeadic Clinic on the 25th May at 9.05 with my two children, NAME (19 months old) and NAME(4 weeks old).

Whilst waiting in the main waiting area, close to the reception of the Orthopaedic Clinic, my youngest son was hungry so I breastfed him. A member of your team approached me whilst I was feeding him and asked me politely to move to another area (to the main hall, or the garden) so that I could 'you know, do this discreetly and be more comfortable'.

I moved to the garden, as suggested, feeling rather embarrassed and angry. Embarrassed for being asked to move in front of a waiting room full of patients (what kind of message is this sending, that breastfeeding in public should not take place? That it is something we should hide?) and angry because I didn't have the presence of mind to reply (why on earth would a hospital staff not respect a woman's right to breastfeed in public? And why did she interrupt us in the middle of a feed ? couldn't it wait until we were done?).

Let me ask you this: Would I have been asked to move if I had been giving my son a bottle?

I didn't reply to the employee but in retrospect I should have said to her that I have every right to breastfeed at any location. I would like to know if any patients in the waiting room had complained, or if it was members of the staff who were uncomfortable with me breastfeeding. Doesn't the NHS spend thousands of pounds on encouraging women to breastfeed?

I would like you to remind your team members, indeed all staff, that every women has the right to feed her child at any place she wants to ? whether she is bottle feeding or breast feeding her baby - without being interrupted or asked to move. I breastfed my first son in a variety of public places ? libraries, shops, cafes, pubs, buses and trains, airports and airplanes, motorway service stations, and I have NEVER before been interrupted and asked to move to another location for the purpose of discretion.

Please do take this letter seriously, as some mums would have been very offended by the actions of your staff member, and indeed might have lost the confidence to breastfeed in public.

Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions, on

Kind regards

CC.The Complaints Manager
Head of Midwifery
(and other important people...)

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 25/05/2007 21:33

Good letter.

hana · 25/05/2007 21:34

omg!
can't believe this happened
don't think I would have moved
sorry you experienced this, how awful, have you thought about taking it further than just a letter?

beansprout · 25/05/2007 21:34

Great letter. If you get no joy, would be happy to come down to Whipps (I know it well) and b/f with you!!

morocco · 25/05/2007 21:36

good on you for writing

Maddison · 25/05/2007 21:39

Great letter, would love to see what their response is.

rowan1971 · 25/05/2007 21:41

That looks good, Blueberry. It will be interesting to see how they respond.

Just checked the UNICEF website and no sign of Whipps Cross being baby-friendly (so no surprises there).

mawbroon · 25/05/2007 22:06

Tell them you are Cross because you weren't allowed to Whipp them out.

Sorry, dreadful joke.....

Good for you for complaining. I am awaiting a reply to the letter I wrote re some terrible breastfeeding advice I was given by a member of hospital staff when I took ds there with D&V. The more of us that write the better I reckon....

EnormousChangesAtTheLastMinute · 25/05/2007 22:08

good for you! outrageous that they asked you to move. have you thought about including mp? be interested to know how hosp respond.

whomovedmychocolate · 25/05/2007 22:12

Good for you for complaining! I complained after this incident (and yet another screenname) and there are now 'breastfeeding welcome' stickers up in my GPs surgery and the staff have all been trained to slap old people who complain (well almost)

elkiedee · 25/05/2007 22:19

I'm struggling to bf at the moment myself but like the idea of a feed-in in protest at Whipps Cross.

SallyAllbright · 25/05/2007 22:21

well done you for writing

I had DD at Whipps - fecking awful place

unsurprisingly I had zero support with breastfeeding in the postnatal ward. they are certainly not Baby-Friendly - or Mum-Friendly

moondog · 25/05/2007 22:22

reat letter but change the following:

Leave out the 'Let me ask you' sentence. Too emotive.

Leave out the 'Please do take this letter seriously' sentence Too needy.

Leave out the 'Please do not hesitate etc' sentence. Too needy.Change to 'I look forward to receiving your response' More assertive.

Bastards.

lilymolly · 25/05/2007 22:25

oh my god well done you

Kick some arse.

I think your letter sounds great, although I think I would keep dc names out of it as it is irrevelevent
Good luck

cazee · 25/05/2007 22:27

You could add something like
The behaviour of this employee is actually illegal in Scotland, and may soon be illegal in England, if current proposals to protect breastfeeding women's rights are adopted. That is how serious this is.

or not!

fishie · 25/05/2007 22:28

bp i'm local too (didn't see earlier thread). how awful for you and good you are going to GET THEM. i am hoping for that person's head on a stick.

have you chosen other important people yet? it might be helpful to speak to the PALS who can forward your letter and chase it up if neccessary.

hunkermunker · 25/05/2007 22:37

Agree with Moondog re her comments about the structure of the letter.

And with everyone about the subject matter

Who's your MP? Would CCing them do much good or are they useless?

nanninurse · 25/05/2007 22:42

Good for you , great letter. As fishie said do cc to PALS at the hosp.too...

Keep us posted!

fishie · 25/05/2007 22:47

if you happen to be in newham then lyn brown sent me a very nice and enthusiastic reply to bf manifesto campaign - in fact she's close enough, cc her! is neil gerrard your mp? will set my mum on him if he's unhelpful.

kreamkrackers · 25/05/2007 22:49

this is the reason why i always time feeding dd2 around going out

i've fed her in mums and tots groups around here but that's it. strange when i feed her there women are always explaining why they didn't bf their children. it seems to be very unpopular around here. infact i've never seen anyone bf a baby.

good for you doing this letter. i always talk about complaining for various things but never follow them up.

whomovedmychocolate i had to laugh at what you said. you are so brave standing up to those women.

hunkermunker · 25/05/2007 22:53

Aw, KK, that's really sad

I've bfed my two all over the place and never had a problem with anybody saying anything - I think it's quite rare, it's just so unjust that people complain vociferously about it - esp on here.

Whereabouts in the country are you? Could you meet a friendly MNer for coffee and feed then?

hunkermunker · 25/05/2007 22:54

Um, I mean because it's nice to have a friendly Rottweiler with you in case anyone DOES comment, I wasn't implying you ought to want to flash your norks at someone you've never met before, even if they are a MNer

SallyAllbright · 25/05/2007 22:54

Harry Cohen is MP for Leyton & Wanstead - according to his website he has special interest in health issues and has recently been appointed Honorary Vice-President of the Royal College of Midwives. Definitely worth CCing him I reckon.

wrinklytum · 25/05/2007 22:57

Good letter.Could you send a letter to your local rag too?

Makes me to hear of such things.Poor you with a young baby and toddler to consider being asked to move.In a HOSPITAL of all places.

P.S. PALS = Patient Advisory Liason Service.Every hospital should have one and they are a sort of advocacy service for patients with regard to issues around care and treatment.

Good luck.

moondog · 25/05/2007 23:02

I was once asaked if i wanted to move when in a hospital with newborn anbd was ready to rip woman's eyes out but realised that she was trying to be kind and was worrying about me feeling exposed.

I waved her away with a dismissive but kindly (yet assertive) snort.

kreamkrackers · 25/05/2007 23:03

hunker great idea. she does feed very discreetly so i don't think anyone would get a glimpse of much anyways

i really would die of embarassment if anyone said anything though even with a MNer, just the kind of person i am.

i live in the northwest, in cheshire.