Asked to move when breastfeeding in hospital - final letter, comments/support please

[BlueberryPancake]

Hi Everyone, I posted a draft of this letter earlier today and got some very good responses, here's my final version. I was basically asked to move to a more 'suitable' location whilst breastfeeding in a waiting area at Whipps Cross hospital in London. Here's my complaint letter:

The Manager
The Fracture and Orthopaedic Clinic
Whipps Cross Hospital
Whipps Cross Road
Leytonstone
London
E11 1NR

Friday, 25th May 2007

Dear Manager,

I attended the Fracture and Orthopeadic Clinic on the 25th May at 9.05 with my two children, NAME (19 months old) and NAME(4 weeks old).

Whilst waiting in the main waiting area, close to the reception of the Orthopaedic Clinic, my youngest son was hungry so I breastfed him. A member of your team approached me whilst I was feeding him and asked me politely to move to another area (to the main hall, or the garden) so that I could 'you know, do this discreetly and be more comfortable'.

I moved to the garden, as suggested, feeling rather embarrassed and angry. Embarrassed for being asked to move in front of a waiting room full of patients (what kind of message is this sending, that breastfeeding in public should not take place? That it is something we should hide?) and angry because I didn't have the presence of mind to reply (why on earth would a hospital staff not respect a woman's right to breastfeed in public? And why did she interrupt us in the middle of a feed ? couldn't it wait until we were done?).

Let me ask you this: Would I have been asked to move if I had been giving my son a bottle?

I didn't reply to the employee but in retrospect I should have said to her that I have every right to breastfeed at any location. I would like to know if any patients in the waiting room had complained, or if it was members of the staff who were uncomfortable with me breastfeeding. Doesn't the NHS spend thousands of pounds on encouraging women to breastfeed?

I would like you to remind your team members, indeed all staff, that every women has the right to feed her child at any place she wants to ? whether she is bottle feeding or breast feeding her baby - without being interrupted or asked to move. I breastfed my first son in a variety of public places ? libraries, shops, cafes, pubs, buses and trains, airports and airplanes, motorway service stations, and I have NEVER before been interrupted and asked to move to another location for the purpose of discretion.

Please do take this letter seriously, as some mums would have been very offended by the actions of your staff member, and indeed might have lost the confidence to breastfeed in public.

Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions, on

Kind regards

CC.The Complaints Manager
Head of Midwifery
(and other important people...)

You know when I was bf dd last year, I almost wished someone had complained, as I would have gone fecking ballistic with them.

I totally respect and admire what you are doing.

Good letter, and I agree with moondog's ideas - you do not need to be confrontational or aggressive or defensive or emotional. The facts as they are stand up for themselves. Keep it plain and straightforward - and let the press know

it's a real shame isn't it?
I was in a queue at JL in KIngston when dd3 was just a few weeks old, and she had that real newborn cry of 'feed me now!!!!!!' , I had my doujble buggy and dd2 was kicking off as well, I just thought how quickly can I get to my car, and though oh f*......a sales assistant came up to me and I thought oh here we go, but she asked me if I wanted a chair - found me one, put me just beside the tills, asked me if I wanted some water, I was gobsmacked!! Was fab, all her fussing about while I was bfd'ing

KK, have you seen this thread? Are you anywhere near any of the MNers on it?

v.good letter

only idea is - maybe make it equally the baby's right to be breastfeed in public, as well as the woman's right to breastfeed

so 'why on earth would a hospital staff not respect a baby's right to breastfeed in public' and 'I and my son have every right to breastfeed at any location'

Can somebody explain to me the reasons that people have for objecting to bf in public?

Seriously, I just don't get it.

I've heard "I just don't want to see it" - don't look then.

And "it puts me off my lunch" - don't look then.

And "I'm an ignorant and have nothing better to do than object to things that are none of my flaming business" - maybe try education, it can't hurt.

AlaistairSim - some people seem to have gotten it into their heads that exposing ones boobs is indecent. Realistically very few women whop out their entire boob, you'll be lucky to see a strip of veiny flesh and that's if the woman isn't used to doing it.

I find it's older people that complain maybe because nursing mums were expected to stay home all the time (no wonder they took so much valium)

People are very odd!

Good letter and good idea to write in, its a bloomin' disgrace being asked to move because you were breastfeeding.
Agree with Moondog's comments too and also the suggestion to cc the letter to your local MP/press.

Hello - don't know if this has been addressed as I have only quickly skimmed the thread (letter is great) - having worked in hospital management and complaints specifically, can I suggest that you address it to the hospital's Chief Executive? It will have to be investigated by the relevant people of course, but usual complaints procedure would be for your response to be from the Chief Exec. It gives you more clout, and also raises the issue at the highest possible level - no chance of it being buried somewhere. Might be worth googling your hospital and finding out thier complaints procedure on line and adding a paragraph along the lines of "I understand from your complaints policy that I will receive acknowledgement in xxx days and a full, written response in xxxx days, or a letter explaining any delay and giving an estimated date of full response" - you'll probably be able to lift this directly from thier policy, and it makes it clear that you know your rights in terms of complaint response. Hope all goes well.

[nosy emoticon]

Here you go, I had a look for you:

"If you make a formal complaint, we will investigate your concerns and you will receive a full written reply from the Chief Executive.

We will make every effort to respond to you within five weeks from receiving the complaint. Where there are good reasons why this cannot be achieved, we will keep you informed of the progress. This is called Local Resolution. (If you do not receive a response within 6 months of the date our receipt of your complaint, you are entitled to approach the Healthcare Commission for a review of your case)."

Hope that helps

www.whippsx.nhs.uk/trust/11394997312352.html

Sorry, I promise not to add any more advice

I am probably wrong but I thought that it is not yet legal to feed when and where you want to. I think that there has been a bill passed in Scotland but not yet in England although it was in the news recently to bring one in.

I breastfed all 4 of mine when and where they needed so I am totally for what you are doing, but I don't want you to fall at the first hurdle with the chief exec or whoever telling you to bog off and check your rights . I think you just need to reword your letter to take this into account.

breastfeeding link

On the other hand the bill may have already been passed and I am spouting complete crap

That article is slightly misleading, bibis. It's not and never has been illegal to breastfeed when and where you want to. Women have always had the right to breastfeed their babies in public.

However, it is also not illegal - in England at least - for a member of staff to ask a breastfeeding woman to stop/leave/move on from their shop/gallery/hospital etc.

The law in Scotland was enshrined to make it illegal to stop a woman breastfeeding in public, not to make it legal for her to do so, iyswim!

if you've not already sent it, please get the spelling of orthopaedic right- it is a small point, but well-spelled letters look so much more, I dunno, serious!

You may want to remind them of this and this, BP.

SHOCK HORROR,

I cannot beleive this happened??... I would have completely embarraced the inconsiderate member of staff and gave them a good lecture on the benefits of bfing etc AFTER completely refusing to move.

This makes me fume I would just love someone to come and say something to me whilst feeding in public which i do anywhere, everywhere.

"I am probably wrong but I thought that it is not yet legal to feed when and where you want to."

i don't think it is illegal to breastfeed in public in England. it is just a sad commentary of the state of our society that so many people feel like we need to enact a law protect an activity which is wholesome and positive.

un-bloody-believable .....-

[I would re arrange one of your sentences- I have had a stab below. I found the brackets a little distracting]

I moved to the garden, as suggested, feeling rather embarrassed and angry. Embarrassed for being asked to move in front of a waiting room full of patients and angry because I didn't have the presence of mind to reply. Your staff are sending a message that breastfeeding in public should not take place and that is unacceptable! Your staff have a duty to respect a woman's right to breastfeed in public! I found her timing to BE equally ill considered. Requesting me to stop breastfeeding at this point was very distressing and explains why I did not respond as robustly as I should have.

[I would finsih with something like this]

I fully expect a letter of appology and details of your action plan to educate your ill informed staff.

excellent letter- shocked that hospital staff asked you to move - I'd have asked the member of staff to repeat their request with the hospital manager present. No wonder bf rates are so low when mums are harassed.

Good letter. Just noticed a small typo in the 6th paragraph: it should read "every woman has the right..."