How many of you felt let down by the hospital staff when you wanted to bf your newborn baby?

[Cazee]

Reading Jetjets' story has made me really mad. I remember the hospital staff taking my baby away from me after my emergency cesarean, saying "we have to give him formula or his blood sugar will drop". I am still really sad about it. He was 10 days overdue, not even pre-term, so I really don't believe that it was necessary, but at the time I felt as if I had been run over by a truck, I was in real shock, and I didn't know how to fight the hospital staff. When we are at our weakest we need health professionals to give us support and accurate advice, but in too many cases it seems that we are let down

me, have explained before on here can't really cope with going through it again

Me too....

DD was born term by em CS but suffered collapsed lung on delivery and was onnly 4lb 13ozs. As such she was taken to NICU/SCBU where she stayed for 2 wks. I immediately began expressing as I had told them I wanted to BF her. They were actually quite helpful with that side of things, but wouldn't let me actually feed her myself until wk 2 as they had decided to tube feed her (no reason given and they hadn't actually tried to feed orally at all). I had to almost fight to try to feed her myself, they didn't ask me a single time if I wanted to try it myself. When I insisted on it, I received varying degrees of help and lots and lots of completely different info and advice. I spent 4 nights sleeping in a room with her (away from the NICU unit), feeding her 3hrly(as I'd been instructed, even setting my alarm to feed through the night), staff didn't come to check up on me at all, in fact one period of 24 hrs went by with not a single person coming to see me and at one point a note was pushed under the door to me !!
She was kept in for an extra 4 days because she had lost a bit of weight (born 4lb 13ozs, went up to 5lb10ozs due to all the fluids given, went down to 5lb 4oz by discharge). My MW who was doing home visits with me, said she would speak to them to see if she could be discharged with supervision as she wasn't receiving any "treatment". The "supervision" entailed her being weighed twice (then I was told to take her to clinic weekly !).
Managed to keep BF for 6 mths, then added formula as well as had to go back to work.
Will definitely BF next time, and will know where to come for help & advice !!

Thanks ladies, rant over !

I specifically asked for DS2 to be put to my breast immediately but was not handed him for 2.5 hours (they wanted to stitch me and get placenta out, both of which took an age)!!

I asked a bout 5 times for BF support and was told "you're an experienced mum, you don't need advice!

have since asked HV about 20 times where I can get BF support and am told to attend a baby cafe where about 40 women compete to see 3 staff...

foxcub, do you still need support?

Cazee - I do need advice from time to time. I am BF but it is not easy IYSWIM. I've given up on trying to get any support from anyone who works for the NHS. A friend and a mumsnetter have both popped round to give me advice and I muddle through. I had to give up BFing DS1 as it kept going wrong, but managed to feed DD for 18 months. With this baby I have to feed at home because I have never progressed to successfully feeding outside the home without the help of a BF pillow.

Hospital staff great but community midwives piss poor however I do think that if you research enough prior to delivery you set yourself up for success too many people read nothing and then have no chance unless they get great support.

Me

cant be arsed telling whole story but basically wanted to BF was hving trouble

ringing buzzer to get help

they were getting peed off at me

they gave me a bottle (to shush me up obviously)

and wouldnt let me warm it either

Gosh so many stories here - I haven't read all the thread, but I definitely identify with loads of mums on this one - such a pity they don't adequately train hospital staff about breastfeeding, (SCBU staff told me they had NO training on this!). I fiercely, and successfully resisted formula with all my 3, (partly due to allergies in the family), but had a real battle with the first 2 who were both in SCBU. DD1 was born by venthouse and inhaled meconium - breathing difficulties meant she was on a ventilator for the first 24 hours or so. As soon as I had recovered from the first post-delivery sleep I was hassling staff to get me expressing, (bearing in mind that I had lost so much blood, I was confined to a wheelchair for the first 24 hours plus). It was almost 12 hours after the birth before I managed to persuade a reluctant midwife to bring me a machine. She just slapped the pump on one breast, said "there is nothing coming" and left me for almost an hour. I had no idea how long to pump for, or that I wasn't actually likely to get anything much on the first attempt. I got myself into a right state as a result. Then I had to contend with SCBU staff complaining that as I wasn't producing enough breastmilk yet they should give formula....(I made them stick to sugar water). With DD2 she was expected to be in SCBU so I had my breast pump ready and began pumping 3 hourly round the clock as soon as she was born. Then, they stopped and started on the demand for milk, thinking she had reflux, which really cocked up my supply. Refused to allow me to take a stock of milk I had previously pumped when I had to move hospitals, and put me under masses of pressure to resist nipple shields when my sickly daughter had no strength to latch onto my flat nipples. Aaagh just remembering some of these needless battles rattles me all over again! One shining light was a wonderful hospital breastfeeding counsellor who saved my bacon with DD1. Unfortunately, she was in far more demand than she could deal with, and she was poised to retire then too.

and another....

emergency cesarean for DS2 - they kept testing him & saying his blood sugar level was low & they needed to give him a bottle. Lucky he was my second & BF first for 6 months - so told them to get me a cup & I would hand express.

After a couple of cups, a much more sympathetic MW came on shift & I was left alone.

If it had been my first baby I would have been worried and caved in.

I was too. with dd1 she was born prem and although I treid to bf it was nearly 10 weeks after she was born that she was strong enough to suck and although I was expressing I didn't have enough milk and she wasn't strong enough to feed. So with DD2 I wanted to bf.

However as it was no2 the MW assumed I knew it all!! So after my c section I ended up having to drag the poor child into bed with me, as I couldn't really keep getting up (sitting up was difficult) and the MW seemed annoyed that I didn't tuck her into her crib. By day 2 my nipples were craked and by day 3 I was in agony. Luckily one MW suggested nipple shields (the others were offering to botle feed) and off my DH trotted.. However even though I could still barely walk right they made me sterilise them myself, and trot down the corridor in tehmiddle of the night to do it if dd needed feeding. The Bottle fed babies were all lined up in little rows by the nurses station so their mothers could rest!!

TBH if I wasn't determined I would or could have given up, in my room (8 beds) only one other was BF!!!!!!! This was in teh DAYS after the birth

Foxcub, have you tried phoning the NCT, LLL? they can offer you telephone support, or face to face I think.

Hi Cazee - I have \ friend who is an NCT BF counsellor who popped round, but wanted a second opinion. My latch looks fine from the outside but I still get sore nips.

Thank you for explaining tiktok, I hope you didn't think I was having a go at the nct or anything, without my local counsellor I would have given up
Moondog have signed the manifesto, thank you for bringing it to my attention.

I hope people don't feel ignored after they have shared their experiences on here, just because they may not be responded individually. I think it is the process of writing it down and sharing it that is helpful, at least it was for me. I am really glad I started this thread, but sad to see how many people had such a bad start to bf.

so may stories here..makes me wonder, whatare all the midwives doing on the post labour wards ??? I had an epidural, ventouse and lots of stiches but was told that no one coudl help me as they werte helping the women who had had sections. next time i had a section, teh only help I got in teh 24 hours I was in for was removing teh catheter and for teh first 12 hours VERY very reluctantly giving me teh baby to feed. They were pretty angry at being asked and kept telling me that bf babies didnt need fed for teh first 24 hours. after i had fed him they didnt want to put him down. no one esle on teh ward had a section or was BF

v to read that so many of you also had this experience.

I had a c-section and my birth midwife was great showing me the latch within 10 mins of leaving the theatre and I was v lucky that my baby knew what to do straight away. despite this on the post labour ward, by the second night when my milk still hadn't come in and she was crying incessantly when not latched on, the midwives kept telling me if i didn't give her formula she was going to get jaundice and it would be my fault and that I was going to wear myself out as i wasn't sleeping. they also said some people didn't produce sufficient collostrum (!?). when i asked them whether i should wind her or other tips for calming her they basically said if i didn't use formula that was it from them and left me. finally, after around 30 hours of no sleep i cottoned on that co-sleeping would help so asked one of the midwives to put up the bars around the bed and for extra pillows...both of us finally got the rest we needed and the next day my milk came in and all was well.

makes me v v that in my post op hour of need i had to find the inner strength to fight professionals telling me that i was deliberately choosing to harm my baby by not accepting formula. fortunately i fought and my story ended well. actually had an added dimension as the hardest of the midwives actually came in on my last day and said well done, you showed us all up.... happy ending tho i would rather not have gone through it at all!

I actually did have lots of people trying to help me both in the 36 hours after the birth in hospital and during an 8 day stay to try and sort out feeding after ds and I were admitted because he'd lost too much weight and got jaundice.

But... most of those who tried to help initially manipulated me into his mouth but didn't really make me feel I could get him latched on myself properly, I needed to be shown how not have it done for me.

Then after the admission he was tube fed and then fed with formula while I tried to express milk using a hospital electric pump and was after a few days advised to start each feed by trying to bf for 10 mins. All this wasn't totally unsuccessful at the time - I was able to breastfeed him briefly at the beginning of a lot of feeds, but there were problems.

I think the mix of methods created a lot of confusion. I was prescribed something to encourage my milk supply but had to push to get started on it late on Saturday evening. I found when I tried to use the pump that it seemed very inefficient as I wasn't able to catch half the milk on my left breast. I kept mentioning this and no one came to see what the problem was, the only person who turned out to be able to help was my partner. Then expression was often interrupted by hospital routines. And on some days there were 2 or 3 people trying to share one pump, or more trying to share 2 or whatever it was (I wasn't quite clear). Once the pump was taken off for "an hour" and I had to chase it up over 4 hours later. That must have been very frustrating for the other women trying to express too.

There was food supplied for breastfeeding mums, so I clearly wasn't the only one in this position, but not for my partner who was spending his paternity leave being with us throughout the days in hospital - so we had to go down to the canteen in order to eat and relax together, and we both always felt bad about leaving Danny behind in the care of the nurses.

I've now rented a pump for use at home but with one thing and another and all this confusion, Danny isn't interested in latching on to me any more, and this is a step backwards, and unfortunately I seem to have gone backwards with the expression/milk supply as well.

I feel that considering the amount our stay in a "cubicle" - a small private room - for 8 nights (and I had to really press not be kept in for a 9th) - and the food, etc etc, must have cost the NHS, also, staffing levels were generous, but the resources were disorganised. There was lots of care of some kinds available, but I really needed more help directly with bfing better, positioning and so on for example, and with how to use the breast pump most effectively.

There's a very friendly welcoming bfing dropin which happens to be local to me - lucky because it's a borough wide service so could easily have been miles further away, on Thursdays, so I'll go there tomorrow, but I fear that my opportunity to get the help this service could have provided in establishing breastfeeding may have gone.

This was all under the care of a very pro-bf hospital trust by the way, but while I believe everyone I met was caring and wanted to help me, the set up wasn't able to provide the right support at the right moments, and I wonder how this could be resolved.

sorry for loooooooooooonnng post.

The hospital staff were fantastic with DS1 - one of the MW's even brought in her coffee whilst she was on her break and sat with me whilst I bf because I was taotally and bloody useless at it. I hated, absolutely hated the so-called pro's who I called for help - one of whom said - if you don't feed that screaming baby now, it will starve! Nice.... Another one said that they were busy and could I call back in a couple of days!

With DS2 and DD - I used to call the hospital directly and forgot about the other groups. Their attitude really really annoyed me.

Now that I have MN and with number 4 on the way, be patient with me as I will have many many worries!

my midwife was not keen to help me until ds was 42 minutes old! she was busy moving around, tidying, doing paperwork. i asked her a few times and even asked to get another midwife in to help me (to which i was told, there are no free midwives in the ward that night!) at least there wasnt any issues with me wanting to at least hold ds naked against me...
reflecting back on that and my whole birth experience (albeit lightning quick at/around 6 hours); i wish it could have been different

Elkiedee - do try the 'drop-in', and don't give up hope of latching on. My ds didn't feed directly from me until 3m plus, and my dd was 5w. DS exclusively bf until 14months, dd still going.

It can actually be easier to latch them on when they're abit older and more awake. Nipple shields really helped me, discarded later when we were established.

Elkiedee, all dependent on expressing in the meantime, of course. But well worth it.