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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

How many of you felt let down by the hospital staff when you wanted to bf your newborn baby?

98 replies

Cazee · 22/05/2007 17:16

Reading Jetjets' story has made me really mad. I remember the hospital staff taking my baby away from me after my emergency cesarean, saying "we have to give him formula or his blood sugar will drop". I am still really sad about it. He was 10 days overdue, not even pre-term, so I really don't believe that it was necessary, but at the time I felt as if I had been run over by a truck, I was in real shock, and I didn't know how to fight the hospital staff. When we are at our weakest we need health professionals to give us support and accurate advice, but in too many cases it seems that we are let down

OP posts:
terramum · 23/05/2007 11:38

I should add as well that although I thought my bfing knowledge at the time was good, it really wasnt. Despite all my NCT & LLL info & hadnt really twigged that it is a learned art for both mum & baby or exactly what should be happening immediatly post birth.

I think I spent so much energy planning & thinking about the birth (which as supposed to be at home - probably part of the problem tbh!) that I didnt spend enough time thinking about the aftermath of it....which I guess most fist time mums probably find is the case as well - there are just too many unknowns to try to find out about & there simply isnt enough time to think about them all usually...

Amapoleon · 23/05/2007 11:39

I had had a really long labour and an emegency c-section before anyone feels the need to judge me. I have judged myself enough , thank you and now do not feel guilty.

jetjets · 23/05/2007 13:20

Message withdrawn

HuwEdwards · 23/05/2007 13:22

me

OrmIrian · 23/05/2007 13:24

shonaspurtle - I think that is exactly what I felt - 'enthusiastic but patchy'. They really did their best and really wanted me to succeed but didn't have the time or knowledge maybe to do it properly. Thankfully we had a bfing counsellor on the ward much of the time and she was great.

contentiouscat · 23/05/2007 13:25

I felt very pressured to BF in hospital, im sure if they could have got away with sellotaping the baby to my breast they would have.

Actually I can remember one of the nurses saying I should have no problem as I had "wonderful nipples" - I was quite taken aback & I did wonder if it was something I imagined under the influence of drugs, a very surreal moment. Still makes me now

terramum · 23/05/2007 13:31

Amapoleon - who has been judging you? AFAIAA this thread hasnt been about that - just comparing our experiences.

Amapoleon · 23/05/2007 13:58

Noone on this thread has judged me. Just getting in first after experiences on other threads. Sorry if i over reacted, still a little bit raw.

jetjets · 23/05/2007 14:03

Message withdrawn

contentiouscat · 23/05/2007 14:35

Sorry just got a flashback to a dodgy chocolate advert "abassador you are really spoiling us"

2Happy · 23/05/2007 14:38

My hospital was great in every way..except for the postnatal bfing support . It depended on which mw was on duty, of course, but why is it always the night shift mw who's the bitch who tuts, shoves your boob in the baby's gob and stalks off?

snugglebumnappies · 23/05/2007 14:45

When I had DS1 I had a massive PPH (over 2 litres) and not surprisingly struggled to bf, he had a bottle of formula one night in hosp and the next day t was taken by staff that it was a done deal that he ws now going to be formula fed, got no support and failed Trained as a m/w ater that and tbh the breastfeeding training we got was crap, I tained in an area that had a very low b/f rate and the m/w's used to just shove women's nipples in baby's mouths to get them to feed . Things only got better after I qualified and worked in an area with a much higher b/f rate, I soon learnt that what I had seen and been taught was a pile of shit that has probably damaged a lot of mum's and babies Since then I have sucessfully b/f two DCs and am now tandem feeding DD (2yo) and DS2 (10 weeks), still makes me sad that I didn't give DS1 such a wonderful start

Brangelina · 23/05/2007 15:31

I must admit I got excellent help actually in the hospital (in Milan), we got a pro bfeeding leaflet straight away and all the midwives, trainee and non, were wonderful and patient. There was also a feeding room with drinks and magazines if you wanted.

BTW I am a bit perturbed by all this blood sugar business, I never heard that. I had an emergency c-section after a long labour, which made me tremble uncontrollably so I couldn't hold my baby till some hours later, yet when I asked there was no problem with me bfeeding her later - "they're born with enough fat to last till your milk comes in" was what I was told (which seems logical, no?).

My problems started when out of hospital as I lost the plot a bit and my DD didn't regain her birthweight in 5 weeks. We hadn't been warned in the antenatal classes that your baby could feed for up to 3 hours at a time. Plus all my friends had fat babies that suckled for 15 mins then slept for 3 hours at a time, whereas I could never get my DD of my boob. We get no home visits here, and that coupled with the fact that it was August and everybody's on holiday, meant I got no support. I was distraught, eternally hungry (never managed to eat) and exhausted in those first weeks, and had never felt so crap in my life.
I did eventually managed to leave the house and get to the baby clinic, turned up there in tears and was helped by a very patient nurse who spent hours trying to find ways of getting DD to suckle properly. After that came the whole saga of blood tests, going to hospital, formula top ups, and shocking advice from hospital paediatricians and nurses ("I don't understand why you don't give up bfing, formula's exactly the same...") basically contradicting what's being said on the floor below.

In the end, though, I got my confidence back, ditched the formula after a few weeks and am still bfing at 22m.

WK007 · 23/05/2007 15:40

Without going into huge detail (would take me ages and have to be in the right frame of mind!) my mw's were useless or worse. Was really determined to bf but they gave me no useful help and even their bf counsellor (don't think she was NCT) was useless - she just went through the motions and ignored dd losing weight constantly.

In the end I was in hosp for 2 weeks (for other stuff) and still wasn't any more sorted when I went home as when dd was born, and she'd lost just over 10% of birthweight. Was really upset and demoralised but kept desperately trying, eventually having to top up with formula just to keep her from losing more weight. In the end I was in such a state and dd seemed to be losing out so much by this battle that I up and formula fed.

For ME (not pushing formula at all, I dearly wish I could have made bf'ing work) formula was a godsend, from that day forward dd got healthy and I could actually enjoy being a mum.

If I'd got proper help I could have been enjoying it from day one . Now dd's 4 it seems like such a small thing and so long ago but it still makes me furious that dd and I were put through all that just because the support isn't good enough.

hotcrossbunny · 23/05/2007 15:47

Considering the hosp has a breast feeding award it was dire. i was just left to get on with it, and made to feel like a time waster if I asked for help. I left asap because I felt no one was going to help me and at least dh and mum were at home for support. Dreadful experience, on top of an awful labour.

tiktok · 23/05/2007 16:01

WK - rotten experience.

The vast majority of hospital breastfeeding counsellors are not from the volunteer organisations, and it would make life easier if they didn't call themselves breastfeeding counsellors 'cos it's confusing.

A handful of NCT bfcs do work on a very part time basis on maternity wards, and a slightly larger handful have a visiting arrangement.

No one, professional or volunteer, should ignore a baby losing weight - this is just crass. An initial weight loss is physiological, but babies who continue to lose weight are saying 'I am not feeding well' and the situation cries out to be fixed.

I despair, sometimes. Of course formula needs to be there when the breastfeeding just isn't working, but like you say, the right help at the right time can avoid it.

Hotcrossbunny, if your hospital has the Baby Friendly Award, you can inform Baby Friendly of their shortcomings - there's a special form on the BF website.

snugglebumnappies · 23/05/2007 17:33

tiktok, re: weightloss, yes persistant weightloss is an indicator that all is not well, however I have learned to not get too stressed about babies that haven't regained their birth weight by so many weeks if all other sgns indicate a thriving baby after my experience with my DD. 8lb 11oz born (no surprise as DS1 was 9lb), weight down to 7lb at 2 weeks and did not regain bw till 9 weeks old, otherwise thriving baby, alert, passing loads of urine and soft yellow stools, good tone, well hydrated. She actually dropped from the 75th to the 9th centile and has grown along the 9th ever since, my conclusion was that she was super well nourished in utero (huge placenta). I know the health professional were twitched (as I prob would have been if I had been the mw rather than the mum who was a mw ) It really is about time Health Proffs learned to look at a baby and assess it's well being by more than it's weight gain.

tiktok · 23/05/2007 17:43

I agree, snuggle.....no need to sweat if the baby is merely a very slow gainer and all the other signs are fine

But weight loss is a different matter.

kreamkrackers · 23/05/2007 18:34

after giving birth and being stitched up with dd1 the midwives left. i was still in shock. finally about 20 minutes later, dd1 was about 40 minutes old i asked if she could be latched onto me. she was shocked and thought i wasn't going to bf. she latched her on but she fell asleep. she told me to rest and try later. i then had to start trying myself. wasn't sure whether she was getting anything as she just kept falling asleep.

that night the midwife seen her latch on and as soon as she left dd1 was asleep again. i told her about it and she said she must be happy. i went home the next day, again all she was doing was falling asleep. the paediatrician noticed a heart murmour but nothing else.

the same thing happened at home. the community midwife came the next day and said she looked exhausted. i explained what had happened. she cup fed her 30ml. told me to call her if anything was wrong.

that night i called explained she wasn't feeding again and was now making shallow breathing sounds. by the tikme she got there dd1 was very floppy, eyes were rolling to the back of her head, she was grey and the breathing was worse. an ambulance got called but due to catchment area we ended up having to go to a different hospital.

got to hospital and went to a and e. nurse there told me to show her how i was putting dd1 to the breast, i showed her and she said it was fine. the cubicle we were in had dried blood over the floor. we explained everything to her, even the heart murmour. we then heard her outside laughing that i was a young mum who couldn't bf my baby.

a doctor came, examined dd1 and said he couldn't see anything wrong with her. we got transfered 3 hours later to the childrens ward. as soon as the paediatrician looked at dd1 we were rushed out of the room.

the next thing we knew was she was fighting for life. she had a heart defect and her body had been shutting down. she was in multiple organ failure and stood a 30-40% chance of survival. a team from alder hey came and got her.

she had a hard time in hospital. it turned out she had digeorge syndrome. she had her heart op and was on the mend when just before we were going to try feeding her again a cleft team worker was called in to check dd1's mouth. it turned out she had a small cleft on the soft palate and would never have bf anyway.

i carried on expressing the whole time but she had severe gastric reflux and the dietician put her on infatrini.

dd2 was 11 weeks early. i was so determained to bf her. i'm happy to say she's 10 months old and is still bf. i didn't get much help with her as well but i was determained and there was no medical reason why she wouldn't bf she just needed to grow.

kreamkrackers · 23/05/2007 18:41

sorry should have put, if one of the midwives had seen dd1 falling asleep the way she was like the community midwife did the she might never have ended up going home and going into multiple organ failure which almost cost us her life. they knew she had a heart murmour before we left the hospital. i've felt so much guilt over it as i wanted to do the best for my children but if she had have been on formular than we all would have seen how ill she truely was.

moondog · 23/05/2007 18:43

Oh my God Kream.

My blood ran cold reading your post.

Thank God.

Thank God

foxinsocks · 23/05/2007 18:51

My dd screamed the minute she arrived. I don't think she stopped till she was about 4 months old when we discovered she had several serious food allergies and very bad reflux (well I suspected that from the start).

The midwife pulled the curtain back to see why dd was screaming. She picked her up and said 'oh, your mummy hasn't been making an effort to feed you has she' - I said I'd been trying but she wouldn't latch on and when she did latch on, she'd pull off screaming. They didn't even watch me, in fact they didn't even ask - they started to take her away to bottle feed her (thank god they didn't because she had a milk allergy that was quite bad) but I insisted I was allowed to feed her so they stormed off and closed the curtain.

Later that night, while everyone else was sleeping and dd was still screaming, I went to the midwife station and asked if anyone could help me but was told they were busy and if I was adamant I was going to breast feed and not bottle feed then I had to 'just get on with it myself.'

No-one showed me how to do it and no-one really cared. The first time I was shown anything to do with breastfeeding was when a midwife visited me at home a few days later. Luckily, I'm a stubborn, cantankerous old sod or I would have given up much sooner.

nickiey · 23/05/2007 18:55

Midwives were shite, no support in hospital to bf at all, only that im a stubburn bugger that i succeceded.
DS1;4 weeks early induced, taken away and given formula, I was only 21 and had had a hard time of it before him so didnt really put up a fight-thank god my dh is so great, he bought me a pump so I could express and cup feed ds until he was ready to bf properly. got fed the same line about blood sugar too, On the up side tho ds did throw the FM up all over the midwife
ds2; 4 weeks prem, induced again but this time I was ready for them, requested pump and sterilising equipment in my room, as soon as I was on the ward I pumped and didnt really stop until i left, they kept saying that his blood sugar would drop that I should "top" him up with formula, They did 4 heel pricks each one showed that he was just fine on my lovely milk. I pumped and cup feed for a week until he was big enough to feed properly and havent looked back since.
Could go into it much more, but it seems like weve all been there-all good and well having great bf support in the community but if you are led to fail whilst still in hospital what chance does any mother stand.

tiktok · 23/05/2007 19:00

Oh.....what a terrible, terrible story, or stories, actually.

Kream....there is no substitute for watching a whole feed, and for taking a mother's concerns seriously.

There are ways of knowing if milk is being transferred - no one told you about them or asked you about them. It's a disgrace.

Fox - cantankerous old soddishness rules

moondog · 23/05/2007 19:08

It gets worse doesn't it.
Fox,that is indescribably shite.
Did you complain????

How can these women go off at the end of their shifts knowing that they have failed these vulnerable women like this????