Pain and feel like giving up - handhold?

[BabyOrSanta]

DD is 18 days old. EBF so far. Labour was good but I had a tear. She's overall a good baby.

Last Sunday I was unwell so I went back to the hospital. Got given antibiotics.
Tuesday night DD wouldn't feed properly and it hurt. We'd previously gone through the cracked/bleeding nipples and she was a dream to feed. Friday we went to the doctors as she has thrush in her mouth and I've got it on my nipples. He gave me Canesten and said it should clear up her's too.
Last night I expressed and cup/bottle fed to give me a break.
This morning it's almost killed me to feed her and I had to unlatch her as it hurt so much.

Has anyone been through this? It hurts so so much and I don't know what to do. It feels like a cat is licking my nipples repeatedly. Plus she hadn't gained at her last weight check (which hv said was fine) so I think I'm putting myself under a bit of pressure to get milk in her.

Please tell me it will get better again?

Luna you're right about the chomping! And she was only 6lb 8oz so her bite is pretty small!

long I've cried before feeds - it makes me feel so so bad as it's not like I don't want to feed my baby, I really do! It's just so difficult to do and so painful!

Update is:
Doctor's receptionist phoned last night at 5, he's written another prescription... for cream for me. So still nothing for her.
Health visitor didn't return my call so I'm none the wiser there either.
Got breastfeeding support group today, if we get there as DD is being very fussy about feeding and not too happy about anything either. It's so not fun!

FFS - will they only take notice when you are in A&E with a dehydrated baby?!

Sorry this is such a struggle.

Good luck with the support group!

At the bf support group we basically chatted, I spoke to the hv (?) running it as the "best hv for bf" was off sick. All she really said was keep trying the cream and the new cream (which I've just got because apparently it's out of stock everywhere so I've got the ointment version).
The HV(?) today has booked me in with "best HV" for next week even though I have a HV appointment next week.
So the on call HV called me to query it and she basically said what we've all said - that we won't get better until DD gets something. She went and checked what creams I could use that would help DD and neither of the ones I've been prescribed will help her, basically. She's also got in contact with my HV so she's coming round on Thursday.
So some good did come out of going today.

However, now I've noticed DD has what looks like a white ulcer on her gum...
I know it's wrong (and I'm sure someone will come along and tell me so) but I'm going to wait a couple of hours then call OOH and try and get them to see her as she's had one feed today, is 20 days old and I'm massively engorged. She won't take a bottle, she won't take a cup. So even if I express I can't get it in her unless I syringe feed. She's developing more symptoms, not less and my happy baby has turned into a nightmare baby who can't be put down and won't feed until she's completely empty and has been for hours.

I just feel like no one wants to help.

On the plus side, she's gained 2oz in a week. Don't know if that's good or not but we're really trying.

It's not wrong, call out of hours... Call 111 now, don't wait. Your baby needs treatment and milk and you need to be able to feed or express enough to avoid mastitis.

You have been brilliantly patient and gone through the right channels etc... I'd be stamping my feet by now - YADNBU to call 111.

Also, is there someone IRL who can advocate for you and make sure you get seen by someone this evening? It's so hard to be assertive when you are knackered, in pain and hormonal so if there is someone else who can take the strain then great.

How are her nappies? If she is getting fewer wet nappies, is still not feeding and you can't get a GP appointment tonight, I'd be seriously considering A&E. I am sure that people will be along to tell me IABU to suggest that but I would be doing that with my baby at 20 days old if I couldn't see a Dr this evening.

She needs to see a DR. Make an out of hours appointment. That's what they are there for.

We have a good update!
She has just taken some milk in a bottle! She's always spat them out before even this week (even on screaming nights where she's not fed). We tried her last night and nope.

I'm still going to try and get an OOH as we noticed the ulcer-looking thing and I'm hoping they will give her something so that we can resume bf ASAP especially if this bottle feed was a one off or only because she was so so desperate. She also had a weird "latch" on the bottle so quite a bit came back out.

Today has been one of the worst of my life - thank you for all who have commented, you're all lifesavers, seriously

Oh and in answer to the nappy question, we've been through about 3 nappies today, none wet and one because she had a little bit in it when I took it off to be weighed (not a proper dirty nappy iykwim).
This is why I don't understand why no one will help!

Oh and Daddy will be phoning OOH... I'm a neurotic FTM, right?...

No wet nappies is unacceptable.

I think 111 will send you to A&E with this tbh - please make sure that DP is very clear that there are no wet nappies and baby is dehydrated.

Your Dr wants a kick up the butt.

You must be so worried... Please keep us posted.

Not a treatment for thrush, but have you tried the Multi Mam compresses for sore nipples? Again, it’s not an anti fungal, but it is soothing.
These ones:

www.boots.com/multi-mam-compresses-1-x-12-pack-10078094

Hope you feel better very soon.

STOP THE PRESS!!!

We have baby-tongue drops!!!
The OOH doctor looked in her mouth properly, as in not just opening her mouth a little to see her tongue!!! He actually looked at her gums and everything!!! Hell, he even took her temperature!!!
So he saw all of the lesions on her gums as well as her white tongue and prescribed the drops! DP then says that he's noticed them on Friday when we went to the doctors... but it seems like the GP didn't see them. And that's the only explanation the OOH GP could suggest as to why we've both been in pain all weekend and I've been hand expressing directly into baby's mouth.
He also rolled his eyes at the new ointment and told me to go back to cream number one as it would be more effective...
I think the reason they didn't admit or anything was because she has had dirtyish nappies today and because she did take the bottle earlier and also because I have some sterile syringes at home if we get really desperate. Plus we only live a mile from the hospital on good roads.

Thank you for the recommendation for the compresses... they sound just what I need right now! As well as a long hot shower without a screaming baby and to bath the baby as she has lots of nipple cream in her hair along with breast milk

Kelly's mom is a great bf source and every problem you can imagine you can google and KM will come up for it. Looking for newborn to get back. To both weight within two weeks and be gaining 5.5 - 8.5 ozs per week but that an average and lots of things will affect it.

Sorry it's Kellymom and Those figures are from the website and are specifically for breastfed babies, in months 0-4. It's bloody hard work and I was at my wits end with pain but got steadily better and around 8 week mark I had no pain.

Oh god so many typos - you get the gist!

I used to take paracetamol about an hour before feeds were due. Both mine got thrush and one dc mangled my left nipple when we were getting started, so that never quite felt as comfortable as the other.

I'm so pleased to see this OP! Brilliant result for you all. Hopefully the drops will start to work ASAP and you can get back to feeding in comfort.

Kellymom is a fab recommendation... There is loads of awesome info on there.

Please keep us posted and don't worry if you are still using a top up here and there if needed while you up your supply again... You can gradually cut it out and your body will just make more milk. 😃

I'm so pleased for you that you finally have a good outcome!

I'd also consider writing to the practice manager at your GP surgery... They will get the update from 111/ OOH GP anyway but it's really not on that they wouldn't see such a tiny baby when needed, or examine her effectively.

Pleased to hear you've had a break through in getting the proper stuff needed for the thrush. Once that kicks in it should all settle and you can start to enjoy BF!

BF is certainly not easy! I was also told that not all babies take to it so well. My DS was baby no. 3 - I'd had no bother with feeding my previous 2 so it just goes to show that each baby is different as well as the circumstances that mum is in/under.
It certainly shook my confidence.

Wishing you the best for your future journey through motherhood!

How's everything going today OP? Hope you managed to get a better night...

Must admit, it was a very rubbish night although I think the "drops" are working.
The reason I say "drops" is because they gave me a spoon to "drop" it on her tongue with... so trying to get it in her mouth at all is interesting (6lb 11oz + tongue thrust reflex = not much room in there). Luckily I've got some 1ml syringes so I've used them but I think I'm going to go to the chemist to see if I can buy an actual dropper and hopefully it will fit in her mouth.

She's still not feeding properly but took a bottle last night (x2) and one at stupid o' clock this morning (expressing while half asleep... where's the nipple? Owwww, not there...). She also, finally, took the boob again at 9.00 this morning and had a good chug but not a lot since - she's had a couple of little feeds but nothing too long. I'm going to wake her in a few minutes and really insist she eats something.

My rash is clearing up nicely and the feed this morning only hurt a bit which is good although I'm still on painkillers for birth related stuff.

So, overall, I hope we're getting there...

How's everything going OP? I'm hoping you have had some sleep!

We're both much better thank you
Still taking the medicines but DD seems to have a normal tongue back - it's definitely less feline!
And she has definitely been catching up on her food! She's feeding so well now and we only have the slightest bit of pain but I think that's me rather than her.

So we're slowly getting better!
I'm just hoping we don't run out of medicine before we're completely better!

That's great news well done to both of you

Well done you both! So pleased things are getting easier. 😀