Breastfeeding toddlers and beyond

[Pluckedpencil]

Starting a thread for all those tenacious ladies who are continuing to feed their little massive bundles of joy from a year and beyond.
I am a mum of two and have had my fair share of cracked nipples, weird comments in parks, acrobatic toddlers and breastfeeding multitasking. My nearly two year old is still feeding and my six year old has stopped now, although it was resurrected yesterday when he was crying with tummy pain!
Not an expert or even peer supporter but I'm sure those ladies will come along soon too!!

Sorry to hear that. Might be worth taking an extinction/zero tolerance approach and just getting her out of the habit altogether, even if it involves some kicking and screaming? Otherwise, unfortunately, it may not stop even if you stop feeding completely - lots of kids still enjoy a good twiddle after weaning if given the chance

DS did eventually stop going for the twiddle when I was firm about it not being allowed.

When ds twiddles I give him one warning. He does it again and I stop.

Little bastard now threatens me with twiddling. “Give me a bite of that candy Mum or I’ll twiddle.” I’m half in hysterics and half fuming at the disregard for my personal space! 😂

kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/nursing-manners-2/

MrsA look up ‘nursing manners’ and you’ll get some good ideas. I’ve had to be firm a few times on kicking/squirming when having milk. Sometimes telling them what you do want is more effective, so ‘keep your hand still’ ‘put your hand there’ rather than telling them to stop twiddling.

I Always keep the other boob covered because ds, 20 months , has a wandering hand which I can't cope with.

I tell her that it’s hurting me now which she’ll get when I show her a “bumpy” but I suppose habits are really difficult to break let alone when you’re 2! Will look up all the suggestions thank you 😊

Hi. Just saw this tagged in another thread and hoping someone can help.

I have an 18 mo who I'm still BF. We do also co sleep but I'm fighting to get her to at least start the night in her own bed. This is solely for my sanity because otherwise I can literally be with her for 24/7.
When she wakes up she uses me as a dummy.
I can't get her off.
If I do just snap and not allow her to feed she will just scream. She has managed to do this for hours before.

I desperately want to get to two as she has allergies and I read that at two the BM could help her allergies significantly.

However my concern is that I may throw her out of the window before then.

She is very very high needs. She just doesn't seem to be able to chill out.

Just found my way here from another thread too. Just turned 4 y o DS still feeding. Anyone else struggle with all the feeds when your child's ill. It just makes me so angry, and I hate that it does.

MrsA mine was a fiddler around that age too. I think he did a bit before and it didn't bother me, but as he got older it did.

He's four now and no longer twiddles. I instigated 'gentle patting' instead. He could oat gently with a flat hand but not twiddle. I had to repeat this relentlessly but it worked. He had a need to touch and this met that need will not annoying me. He doesn't do either now.

Pat not oat!

taylor I currently night weaning my 14 month old. The first two nights were as tough as I had imagined they might be; the following two were amazing! I told her what was happening in advance and she definitely understands, although she signed and cried for milk a lot. Past two nights she's slept amazingly and gone back down with singing. I've stopped any feeding in the bedroom to keep the message clear. I had tried cutting down at night, but it didn't work for me.

Not sure what to advise about the own bed thing. My older child is 'high needs' and would still be on with me if she could be, aged 10. You have my sympathy, though. Can you get a daytime break?

MrsA2015 , my sympathies for the twinddling!! Mine does it too and I just want to scream, it's awful! I can't 100% stop it but I do find her having very short nails makes a massive difference to the pain and annoyance, so do check nails are well trimmed!!

On the moving to own bed, no idea. My 2yo is still in with me, and she is actually fairly independent. We did try but I just got sick of sleeping in a toddler bed in the end, as I kept dropping to sleep with her after a feed. For the older one, at age 4, we talked about it, made his bedroom really nice, and gradually he slept all night there. Now age 5, the problem is getting him up out of it to school. I would say, find a time other than the night for some alone time. Getting an evening is the most important for me, so I used to get ds to sleep, then pass the high needs baby body to dh who liked a cuddle in the evening so
I was 'hands free'. Things got better after at 3 and beyond. Also, with dd, if she wakes at say 10pm,
i just feed her in the lounge and again pass her to dh for a cuddle so we can continue our watching telly** evening.

Hello! Still feeding Mr 17 months here, getting a bit past it at the moment as he refuses to be settled by anyone else at night but takes at least an hour to go down so I feel like a hostage!

He's allergic to dairy so I'd love to get to at least two. A few months ago the thought of weaning him made me want to cry, now I feel like I could cope! He wouldn't though, he's a 'dat' (whilst jabbing my chest) fiend!

DS sleeps in his own room but in the beginning it was a lot more work to keep him there. Some nights he was up every 20 minutes. DH would try soothing him first or if he wanted fed I'd go but we'd stay in his room and sit with him in the chair until he'd settled then back into cot. We persevered with this for weeks - I hated that chair by the end of it but it worked for us and he sleeps great now.

@Pluckedpencil would you say 3 is the magic number then ?ds is 20 months and I rarely get a few consecutive hours sleep

I'd say around 20 months is as bad as it gets and then very gradually you start to see the feds going down to maybe one very early morning at 5ish, then eventually it gets nearer to 6, 7 and finally they are sleeping through. For sure by 4 he was sleeping no bother in his own bed every night, but the rest was so gradual I can't remember specifics. Definitely I don't remember sleep being a problem age 3 (just remember the daytime temper tantrums!!)

Also wanted to say to everyone who feels likes they want to snap, the anger. Yes. That is perfectly normal because it is soooo suffocating. That's why it really pisses me off all the more when they say it is mummy who wants the cuddles and not for the baby. Yeah right!!

Agreed plucked . Like we want to be stuck to the sofa with sore nipples almost 3 years later . But it somehow works , he isn't ready to be weaned and it won't be forever. My previous child self weaned at 2 and i night weaned her smoothly around 20 months but she's 11 now and it's all a distant memory ! I'm sure she wasn't this much boob obsessed though ..

I think with the sleeping thing it’s luck of the draw too. I night weaned my first as I was convinced it was the answer to her sleeping better - she still woke up but I couldn’t just feed back to sleep so we both got less sleep!

My second was a fantastic sleeper, slept all night really early on. Whenever he did have a phase of waking up or was unwell, I just fed in the night and he always went back to sleeping through.

My third was not too bad but not as good as DC2. I just accepted the night feeds and fed lying down. Part of what worked for me was to not worry about it, so no looking at the clock, counting the wake ups, worrying if I was creating bad habits, etc. I learned to go back to sleep and barely even woke up sometimes. I basically sleep trained myself rather than the baby!

Everyone finds their own way though of what works best for them.

I agree our second child was better as I just thought, oh fuck it, let's attach the cot to the side of the bed, she can sleep on the crook of my arm until I get a dead arm, she can boob whenever she wants. Whatevs. As long as I get to actually sleep I really don't give a damn. Must admit our sex life is mainly conducted outside of the bedroom though, and not because we are adventurous!!

On the TTC topic, although it's possible to conceive before periods return, it's presumably less likely?
I'm currently feeding a 1.5 year old and had no periods. For people feeding older ones, do periods come back regardless at some point?

I love this thread. It’s one of the few I can relate to! Will be moving on Monday and DD will have her own room so will be starting to stop the co sleeping. Can’t wait but also dreading it. Ill also miss not having her net to me in the bed but will be glad for the feeding and twiddling to stop if it ever does

With dc no 1 period returned after 15 months and it was 19 months with dc no 2.

With dc 1 it was roughly 2ish. With dc2 it was 19 months. It is definitely connected to feeding frequency so even if you can space feeds a bit as they get older it should be enough. O get pregnant no problem while feeding though.

My periods returned at 22 months, when I night weaned.

If your periods start back, can they stop again if feeding increases? I had a light period, last month had a very heavy period, then this month just spotting for a couple of days. She seems to have gone from one feed to two feeds a night again so I'm presuming that's why?