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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

I was on the post natel ward last night (visiting a friend) and this made me sad.

49 replies

princessmel · 13/04/2007 13:34

I'm not trying to cause a row but just wondered if this would upset others too.

I was visiting my friend and her georgous new baby boy.(I'm so excited!) He is lovely and she was feeding him really well.

Anyway on the bed next to her, there was another mum who was trying to bfeed her baby. The baby was crying a little bit (actually not crying, just wimpering) and a midwife came over. They chatted a bit and then 2 minutes later the midwife came over with a bottle. She said 'have you ever fed a baby before?', meaning with a bottle, and then they gave the baby a bottle while they chatted about the birth.

Me and my friend just thought that the midwife should have tried to help her with the bf a bit more. Offer bf councellors /trainers ( wrong word?) etc before just rushing in with a bottle.

Anyway, maybe she didn't want to bf but she was trying and if she'd had a bit more help and advice she may have managed it. I don't know if she has tried again after that bottle.

OP posts:

Trinityrhino · 13/04/2007 13:35

makes me very sad

Original poster

princessmel · 13/04/2007 13:41

Hi trinity, hows gecko and her chickenpox?

OP posts:

PinkTulips · 13/04/2007 13:41

when i was heading home with ds they asked me did i want some bottles 'just in case'..... erm, no, he's my second and i bf dd for a year why would i need bottles 'just in case'

they would take the babies of the ff away for hours and feed them and settle them but the bf'ers were left to cope

what really made me and though was the fact that they wouldn't let me leave til someone had checked my latch. ds was very dozy and took me ages to get him to latch on.... the latch was bloody awful, i knew it, he knew it even dp could see it! but did the mw notice? of course not... 'yep, that's fine love'

thank god he wasn't my first!

lulumama · 13/04/2007 13:43

maybe this lady wanted to bottle feed?

Iklboo · 13/04/2007 13:43

That;s such a shame. I had a really supportive MW & baby unit who went out of their way to help me BF - even at 3 in the morning (on the ward)

Trinityrhino · 13/04/2007 13:46

good point lulu but I would say that fromthe OP the lady didn't say'I would like to bottle feed, could you get me a bottle' hence I think if she had more support she coudl have BF

princees _ hiya
Gecko is fine, she didn' t ahve th pox too badly at all and now they have scabbed over and most are fading. she had her first imms. yesterday though and last night was quite unsettled but seems happier today

lulumama · 13/04/2007 13:48

but we are surmising from a conversation that was not heard !!

i agree there is a dearth of BF support and of help for breastfeeding mums on the wards and at home....

feeling sad for someone else, when you don;t know the situation is all well and good, but she without knowing th facts , no point feeling sad !IMHO

Trinityrhino · 13/04/2007 13:49

you're right lulu, I was assuming alot
OP heard something said but maybe not all

lulumama · 13/04/2007 13:50

glad gecko is ok ! xx

saltire · 13/04/2007 13:55

Two of my friends had their babies in the same hospital, 2 months apart. One got endless help with BF, lots of support and back up. The other one, who wanted to BF, ended up FF as she got no help or support at all, and was "left to her own devices".

wildwoman · 13/04/2007 13:56

Looking at it from a different angle maybe she was a fantastic midwife who knew the mum didn't want to bf and offered her a bottle without making the woman ask and feel guilty etc. (again guessing about the conversation) In some postnatal wards ff mums have a curtain wipped round them as if they are meant to be ashamed to be seen in public!

mumto3girls · 13/04/2007 13:57

But why would the lady be breastfeeding and then, after struggling a little, suddenly bottle feed instead?

Surely if she wanted to bottlefeed she would have just asked straight away for bottle?

Carmenere · 13/04/2007 13:58

I was so knackered after my hideous birth ordeal that dd had bottles for the first day or so and then I bf her for the next four months(until I had to go into hospital).
Who knows what might be going on.

Carmenere · 13/04/2007 13:59

I tried bf initialy but the midwife just said you are too knackered and we will try again tommorow.

Original poster

princessmel · 13/04/2007 13:59

Glad geckos better trinity.

My friend in the next bed to her said that she'd been trying to feed her dd the whole time she'd been next to her. She may have wanted to bottle feed but I just thought that as she was trying she may have succeded with help.
There were bf posters all over the walls of the room and ward. Lots of visual help.

I felt sad as I thought about how lucky I was to be able to bf straight away and how sad I would have been if I'd been struggling and someone came along with a bottle. I may have been too tired or upset to push for help with the bf. Then I would have felt guilty , like always!

OP posts:

gscrym · 13/04/2007 14:01

I didn't want to breastfeed but gave it a try after a lot of pressure from midwife. I lasted 2 weeks and hated it. I had to give up due to being hospitalised but if a midwife had offered me formula in hospital when I was struggling, I would have taken it.

wildwoman · 13/04/2007 14:01

She might have been trying to bf becuase of outside pressure etc it's a bit hard to discuss as he don't know anything about the situation, not even how many days old he was! I have to go anyway, promised dd1 she could go on the cbeebies website

quadrophenia · 13/04/2007 14:02

I used the occasional bottle in hospital, never really thought too much about it, and although it goes against establishing feeding, i still managed to exclusively breastfeed my four once out of hospital and at home and not worried about my baby disturbing others. She may have continued to breastfeed, but used a bottle at the time for whatever reason. i think again its a situation where in an ideal world of course more support should be available but using a top up doesn't necessarily mean she won't continue.

SydneyB · 13/04/2007 14:08

I agree with Quad. DD was really dozy due to jaundice and wouldn't feed at all and we were readmitted to the hospital in the end and DD was given bottles to get things going. THEN we were giving some great b/f support and managed to go from rocky start to exc b/f and I'm still going 4 months later. I personally found that knowing I could feed DD with a bottle if she wouldn't latch made the b/f much less stressful as most of my stress was coming from the anxiety about her losing weight and going hungry. In a way, once that was gone, I could concentrate much more calmly on getting b/f going. Overall though, agree that there isn't enough immediate support if you've not b/f before and don't know what to do.

cheekymonk · 13/04/2007 14:09

I remember my ds was just never satisfied despite constant bf when I was in hospital- it could have been that he wasn't getting anything but I whenever I buzzed for help I was told to keep going but they just pi**ed off!!
In the end I had a couple of nights with almost no sleep and finally gave in and cried when they offered a bottle. They took ds off me and settled him giving him and me about 4 hours sleep! I'll never forget that feeling when I woke up, so happy to have had some sleep and feel a little bit human again!

lovelymoo · 13/04/2007 15:57

You should never judge what anyones else does even if you don't agree with it. Everyones circumstances are different it doesn't bother me if people breastfeed or use formula in bottles. I did what was right for me at the time and if anyone wanted to judge or criticise what i did then let em as its nothing to do with them

Guitargirl · 13/04/2007 16:35

I tried for hours and hours to breastfeed in the hospital and DD just wouldn't latch on even with the midwives helping. We gave her formula as she was really hungry, had jaundice and was getting no milk from me. Once we came home from hospital the feeding finally 'clicked' and by the end of week one DD was just on breastmilk and four months later still is. One (or several!) bottles of formula at the beginning doesn't necessarily mean the end of breastfeeding. I wish someone had told me this beforehand - I nearly drove myself crazy worrying and stressing about it, convinced that I had ruined my chances of breastfeeding after giving formula.

badelaide · 13/04/2007 16:44

Here's a good one then to cheer you up. When i was in a small midwife-led unit after having ds a woman in the bed opposite had a sleepy baby and was struggling to bf. That night a new mw came on duty and sat with her for hours and hours and hours, they chatted, she brought many cups of tea and they tried and tried and tried.
Eventually, between the three of them they cracked it and that baby is still bf 9m later.
I was sooooo impressed.

badelaide · 13/04/2007 16:45

I mean literally hours

nogoes · 13/04/2007 16:46

It doesn't surprise me. A lot of midwives just want an easy life.

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