Considering giving up b'fing 4 and a half week old - please help!!

[exhaustedmumof2]

Really struggling with b'fing 4 and a half week old dd2. I am absolutely exhausted and feel I really have no other option as I have had 6 hours sleep in the past 2 days and really need a break! DD2 seems to want to sleep most of the day (wakes for feeds more or less 3 1/2 - 4 hourly) however seems to want to be awake most of the night. I can't go to sleep once she is fed if she is awake as she is prone to projectile vomiting (has stuff from gp for thrush but I don't have it so am doubting wether that is the actual cause). DP has given her an expressed bottle for every second feed today(was already in the freezer). On top of the exhaustion I am really not enjoying feeding her and feel that I am not enjoying dd2 as much as I enjoyed the early days with dd1 (bf for 3 days then onto bottle - I still feel guilty about this but she is perfectly healthy and happy).
Please help me as I am at my wits end!

Hi Exhausted!
I hope things are improving a little for you. I have a 3yo and a 9mo and I so remember the first 6 to 8 weeks and how dog tired I was. You have all my sympathy!!

Re the vomiting, my baby did this too and it did turn out that she was dairy intolerant (her big sister is too). I stopped all dairy and the vomiting stopped within two days. If you decide to go this route, you have to stop all dairy for at least 6 weeks, normally you see some improvement in the baby after a few days but it takes a total of 6 weeks for you and the baby's systems to be completely clear. My baby had some eczema, and this took the full 6 weeks to clear up completely. You have to be really strict and stop ALL dairy (milk, butter, yoghurt, etc). Some babies can tolerate small amounts but in the beginning it is important to cut everything out.
Don't hesitate to ask anything about this as having been through this with 2 babies I have got to know a little about the subject.

I know how disheartening it can be to feed a baby and then have them sick half of it up, also adds to laundry, chores and tiredness. Good luck!!

Thank you so much to everyone for your advice and experiences. Had a pretty good night last night - I fed her alst night after I logged off - though she only fed for 5 mins, was obviously enough for her though as she then slept til 4am! Went straight back down afterwards and slept til 7.20am - lay awake for 15 mins or so before letting me know she was hungry. Couldn't believe I actually had a decent sleep.

We have been sleeping with a small lamp on for the past 2weeks because it was easier to see her to latch her o properly but now go the latching on a bit better now so I decided to try the light off last night - it must have helped because she went down straight after her feed and dd1 managed to stay in her own bed all night (I think the light has been disturbing her because she was back to sleeping in her own room all night after a few weeks of being in beside us just before dd2 arrived). DD2 has also been well behaved today - she must know I've been thinking of giving up!lol She fed and settled this am which she never does in the morning, managaed to get out to dd1's playgroup this am and went for a walk with them then fed again at lunchtime - been really sick since then but not sick at all with her first feed. She is really unsettled at the moment - think could be right about the sickness upsetting her tummy as she was fine all morning.

Funny that about the dairy products - I only really take milk in my cereal which I have everyday and most days I have cheese toastie/sandwich at lunchtime (quick and easy though fatty I know). Yesterday I never had any cheese and she wasn't sick at bedtime or through the night or this am. Def think I will cut out dairy for the next couple of days and see if that helps any.

Thanks again for everyone's advice - please keep it coming I really do need all the support I can get. I haven't managed to phone any of the helplines yet but will try and do it when dp comes home from work so I can get some peace to chat.

OH fab news about last night

Dont worry - there is always someone here to give advice.

I'd think about the dairy thing - I had the same with DD with the vomiting.

Exhausted,great to hear that you had a good night.
Have been thinking of you.
It really is tough going those first few weeks but I swear that you have got over the tricky bits.

Don't leave phoning the helplines until you reach a crisis point (which I sincerely hope you won't.)They are there for wobbly moments and a friendly ear too.

My offer of the magazine still stands.

That would be great moondog. I'll e-mail you my address just now. Let me know how much I owe you.

No problem-it's light as a feather.
I'd be very glad to be of any help.
[email protected]

Glad to hear you got a good night Exhausted, a bit of sleep makes such a difference to how we are able to cope with everything. Hope things are starting to look up for you...

So glad to hear you had a good night at last, hope it is the start of a trend! Your mention of the lighting issue reminded me of something - I found it useful with my kids to try and establish markedly different routines for daytime and nightime, in the hopes that they would suss that there is a difference early on. In the daytime I put them to sleep in a carry cot or pram downstairs. I gave them a bath and a change of clothes (ideally to an old fashioned nightgown whatever their sex), at 6.00, and read them a story, (I started reading to my eldest at 2 weeks - more for the contact and sound of my voice etc, don't know if it had any bearing but she is a star reader now). As they seemed to want to feed all evening when really new, I didn't usually try to actually put them to bed for the night after the story, but that's the aim as soon as they look ready. Putting them to bed upstairs even if you have to get them up again for a feed. In my case DD1 was a dream baby sleepwise, but DD2 had heart problems and didn't sleep or feed well for ages - what a killer. DB3 slept well too on the whole, but having 3 young children was a killer anyhow! They say they alternate in terms of "ease", so there's a good reason not to have a 4th if I ever needed one! Anyhow, I'll be thinking of you tonight "exhuasted" - fingers crossed for a good one.

Had another pretty good night last night again. More or less the same as the previous night. Has been reasonably settled today, though has been sick quite a bit. Was still being sick from her 3.30pm feed at 6.30pm!!

Lillochum - I was the same with DD1 - set bath time and bed time from very early days but I just can't seem to get into a routine this time - i think it was easier to get into a routine because dd1 was bottlefed from only a few days old so her feeding times were more set as I always knew when she was due to wake for her next feed. On saying that I have been managing to set some kind of routine the past couple of days and managing to cope a bit better.

Excellent exhausted

Just bear in mind, some babies just dont like to follow routines. The little buggers

Glad to hear you have had another better night, and that things are beginning to get on a better track.

Good news Exhausted.
Hope those around you are pulling their weight.
If not,you need to be kicking arse!

I got that magazine 2day moondog. Thank you so much!!!

HAve read the article you mentioned - she does have some of the symtpoms of reflux but not all - will def take her to my gp and see what he thinks. She has been a bit more settled the past couple of days. Is it possible to have reflux and still have good weight gain?

Ah glad to hear it Exhausted.

I'm not sure about the reflux thing combined with weight gain.Again,a breastfeeding counsellor would be the best person to ask about that.
I wouldn't be at all surprised if the GP was of no use whatsoever (although stranger things have happened.)

Again,the ABM helpline could probably help with this or Mears or Tiktok may spot this thread and help out too.

Exhausted I'm really glad to hear you sounding more positive and having a better time.

I've been with a friend this afternoon who was reminding me about her ds and his sicking up. It's incredible how much they can bring up and makes you realise just how much is going down.

Haven't dealt with reflux personally, but a friend of mine had a son with a bad case. It took ages to get help BECAUSE he had good weight gain. She finally spent an afternoon with a health visitor where he screamed non-stop for about 3 hours or more, (and projectile vomited). She saw the specialist within 24 hours, got gaviscon straight away, and had a different child almost instantly. Good luck!