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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Considering giving up b'fing 4 and a half week old - please help!!

66 replies

exhaustedmumof2 · 18/03/2007 21:51

Really struggling with b'fing 4 and a half week old dd2. I am absolutely exhausted and feel I really have no other option as I have had 6 hours sleep in the past 2 days and really need a break! DD2 seems to want to sleep most of the day (wakes for feeds more or less 3 1/2 - 4 hourly) however seems to want to be awake most of the night. I can't go to sleep once she is fed if she is awake as she is prone to projectile vomiting (has stuff from gp for thrush but I don't have it so am doubting wether that is the actual cause). DP has given her an expressed bottle for every second feed today(was already in the freezer). On top of the exhaustion I am really not enjoying feeding her and feel that I am not enjoying dd2 as much as I enjoyed the early days with dd1 (bf for 3 days then onto bottle - I still feel guilty about this but she is perfectly healthy and happy).
Please help me as I am at my wits end!

OP posts:

Original poster

exhaustedmumof2 · 18/03/2007 22:42

Her tongue is white all the time which is why they think thrush. I am going to try and take her back tomorrow as I now dont think it is thrush. Think I might mention infant gaviscon if they dont suggest it to me. Though I really dont trust gp that is on tomorrow - one I like is on holiday til next week. Pharmacist is really good so might go see her if I cant get a docs appt. HV is meant to be phoning me tomorrow to arrange next visit (our HV visits weekly til 6 weeks to weigh baby etc) not sure about discussing feelings with her - tbh i dont thinks he has any kids of her own so will prob only have books as reference. She has never gave me any good advice in the past.

OP posts:

moondog · 18/03/2007 22:45

Exhausted,i would really encourage you to talk to a breastfeeding counsellor who really understands your situation.As you rightly suspect,HVs and GPs are not necessarily the best people if they don't have specialist training.

i urge you,give it a go.
You have nothing to lose.
It is so heartbreaking to read countless threads on MN when people look back at difficulties with b/feeding and realise that they didn't have proper support and advice.

It is there,you just have to know how to look for it.

Best of luck.

XXX

VeniVidiVickiQV · 18/03/2007 22:45

Thats exactly how it was for me too exhuasted. DD slept really well at night. would go at least 5 hours, and was sleeping 10pm till 10am at 11 weeks old. Would happily sit in her rocker chair when not feeding or sleeping.

When I had DS, he just cried all the time - no matter what. He didnt seem to know how to sleep, or feed, or be awake.

But, am still b/feeding him now at 23 months. He was making me laugh today by coming up and banging me on the arm and saying "booby, booby, booby, booby" over and over again becuase he'd not had any first thing, (DP had given him cows milk so as not to disturb me too early on Mothers Day).

lillochum · 18/03/2007 22:46

Hang in there "exhausted"! My youngest (of 3) is 4 now, but I remember breastfeeding was never the easy natural business you are led to believe at least for the first few weeks no matter how many times you have done it before. It does get better, and I really believe it is worth it. None of my children have any allergies as far as I know, but there is lots of it in both families, so I was really determined not to give my kids formula. If you have been expressing then it seems to me you really want to keep this going. (At the same time I don't beat up anyone who, when they have really worked hard at breastfeeding, can't keep it up - sleep deprivation is torture). Have you thought of getting some help - to mind the baby awake/look after No.1? Even if you were only getting help for 3 or 4 weeks it could be enough to see you through this bad patch. Being mad enough to have 3 children under 5 yrs, I arranged for a nanny to come in just to do tea and bathtime 3 days a week for a few weeks. I couldn't afford more than that, but if that much seems beyond reach, and you can't get friends or family to help, you could try local nanny-training outfits who will sometimes do placements free in exchange for some training. I seem to remember my health visitor had some other support source but I can't remember the name, so you could try your health visitor. Incidentally I had thrush in my left breast when feeding my 3rd child - he didn't have thrush at all. It was agony, but luckily he was 6 months by that stage, so not feeding much, and the thrush went away of its own accord - just as well as I couldn't find a doctor prepared to prescribe for me, (medication licensed for newborns is not licensed for feeding mothers). Anyhow, I'm writing too much - just take courage, and hang in there, I really feel for you.

tiktok · 18/03/2007 22:47

Just to restore mumsnet's reputation a bit here: gingeme got huge support and encouragement on the boards here (I have just checked the archives) and no one shoved anything down her throat, or gave any criticism to her at all, and she thanked the people at the time!!

I think your memory is playing tricks, gingeme, and you really don't need to accuse anyone of 'throwing your opinion back at you'.

Exhausted - there's some good ideas on this thread, but I think you might be helped more by talking to someone about your options - any of the bf helplines will do this, without judging you or trying to push you one way or the other.

Spidermama · 18/03/2007 22:48

I'm with moondog.
I think that if you could stick with it a bit longer, great times are just around the corner. It takes a while to establish but it's so worthwhile IME.

Can you sleep during the day when your baby does? Are you sleeping in the same bed so you don't need to get out of bed to feed?
I used to feed mine lying down and barely even wake up for the night time feeds. That takes a bit of time for them to latch properly of course.

It's not easy, I know. But I honestly can't see how bottles would be any easier.

Good luck. x

kama · 18/03/2007 23:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

exhaustedmumof2 · 18/03/2007 23:03

i really dont want to give up. I really think if I could get over teh exhaustion the I would cope a bit better and perhaps even enjoy it through time. This thread is helping me already. VVVQV your kids sound very like mine - dd1 was angelic and dd2 cant seem to be awake without crying. I know she is getting enough milk from me though as she is gaining weight well - usually about 5-6oz per week so the vomitting(sp?) cant be doding her that much harm tho is still really worrying and frightening.
I think I will try and grab 10 mins tomorro and phone one of the helplines for some advice/support.

OP posts:

Original poster

exhaustedmumof2 · 18/03/2007 23:04

Need to log off now - dd2 is telling me how v hungry she is so I better go feed her and get off to bed for acouple of hours. Thanks for all your help - please keep it coming I need all the encouragement and advice I can get.

OP posts:

VeniVidiVickiQV · 18/03/2007 23:06

It is worrying. But, it looks (and often sounds) much worse than it is. (Mind you, I am borderline emetephobic so vomiting is always 'difficult' for me) Might possibly be reflux - again, worthwhile getting some expert advice on.

moondog · 18/03/2007 23:06

Let us know how you get on and.....PICK UP THAT PHONE!!

margo1974 · 18/03/2007 23:08

Yes, I will watch this thread and keep my fingers crossed for you.

Hope you get a good nights sleep sometime soon!

KristinaM · 18/03/2007 23:11

if its reflux its painful for them. might explain some of the crying

moondog · 18/03/2007 23:13

There is an interesting and informative article on reflux in this month's Assoc. for Breastfeeding Mothers magazine.I've already read it and would be more than happy to send it to you exhausted.
My email is [email protected]

NormaStanleyFletcher · 18/03/2007 23:24

Exhausted - where are you? We could find local baby cafe's for you etc?

JodieG1 · 18/03/2007 23:48

Tongue can be white just beause of the milk if it's not thrush. I'd try and carry on bf if I were you as bottle feeding won't be easy, it will just give you more to do with sterilsing, making bottles, warming bottles for feed etc so if you're tired this won't help.

I've been knackered lately as my ds2 is 9 weeks old and doesn't like sleeping lol, had been waking at night an staying up for a few hours and sometimes up all night. Combine with dd (5) and ds1 (3 who gets up at 5-6am) and it's not much sleep, you do get used to it though. Not much choice really other than to get used to.

Really I think giving up bf won't help, just makes more work, not sure why people think that going to bottles will make a difference over bf.

CantSlimWontSlim · 19/03/2007 09:34

exhausted - great that you have now decided that you'd like to continue to bf - it makes it so much easier to direct our advice towards helping you do this.

I didn't mention reflux after your OP because you had given no indication at that point that she was miserable during her waking hours. Now that you have mentioned this, both reflux and milk intolerance would be back on my radar. My dd was wrongly diagnosed as having thrush causing terrible nappy rash for nearly 4 months. In the end it turned out to be caused by milk intolerance - I gave up eating dairy products and she stopped being sick and the rash cleared up - it was like magic! Can you tell us a bit more about her behaviour, both at feed times and in between, and whether she poos 'normally'?

FrannyandZooey · 19/03/2007 10:30

Oh I am pleased to hear that too, exhausted

we are all rooting for you and I think you will be reaping the rewards soon

(and every single day your dd has breastmilk is boosting her health)

Gingeme · 19/03/2007 10:49

Good morning exhausted how were things last night? I went to bed feeling terrible about what I said yesterday in fact I had a little cry. Hope things are better for you real soon. Thanks for checking the archives tiktok and yes I was very very grateful for all the help I got at the time.
Sorry if I upset anybody(think more myself actually).
Good luck with it all. It does get easier realy it does.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 19/03/2007 11:01

No worries Gingeme

tiktok · 19/03/2007 11:24

'Sokay, gingeme

margo1974 · 19/03/2007 11:28

You came back Gingeme! I actually thought that you may disappear after that. I'm glad you feel better today. Things always look better in the morning

How are you doing Exhausted?

FrannyandZooey · 19/03/2007 12:12

Gingeme I don't know anything about your situation but big on you for coming back and saying what you did

fishie · 19/03/2007 12:17

Gingeme i am so glad you feel better today. i have been feeling guilty for upsetting you, so do hope all ok.

exaustedmum did you get a chance to try helpline? how are you today?

Gingeme · 19/03/2007 12:55

Exhaustedmumof2 where are you? I hope your catching up on some sleep. Will keep an eye on this thread to see how your doing

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