OK I never thought I would be thinking this let alone typing it but I am finding feeding on demand hard hard work at the mo

[harpsichordcarrier]

sorry in advance for the self indulgent whinge.
dd2 is 16 months and is demanding to be fed almost constantly. I am finding it very draining, tbh, and I never thought I would say that . she is very physical and in the last few days I have felt myself becoming a bit irritated in the late afternoon, when she is pulling at my top for what seems like the umpteenth time.
Please someone tell me it's just a phase
please someone tell me why feeding on demand is a good thing.
obv I can't mention it irl because everyone thinks I am a freaky weirdo anyway

have no experience feeding a child that age, does she also eat enough food during the day? perhaps just hungry?

yes, I think she eats enough, I think she is just going through a bit of a clingy phase and is feeding for comfort. She gets a bit stroppy if I try and distract her with a drink of juice...

being irrittated with each other in late afternoon has little to do with bf ime, just a long day. cbeebies could be your friend here. or you could go out?

Maybe you could try and distract her with a game or a book rather than substitute tit? Or just stand up every time you see her coming!

cor your very good & patient 2 be still feeding on demand @ that age ! not a freaky weirdo though i think i'd started feeling a bit embarrased telling non br.feeders i was still feeding by about that age

yes, I;m sure you're right. It's just the afternoon arsenic hour thing isn't it?
am just feeling exhausted all round

Sorry, no direct experience here either, but full marks for not going completely bonkers! This won't help at all, but my ds2 is nearly 3, loved breastfeeding (I stopped when I went back to work when he was 5 months) and even now is soooo tactile he's constantly trying to find a bit of breast/skin/nipple to hold on to - I'm sure he would still be feeding if he could, bless him. He's very clingy in the late afternoon and even though he still has a long afternoon nap, seems very tired - reverts to being my baby, which is tricky when I'm trying to get tea ready/do anything really. He's just that kind of child - very tactile and craves skin contact!

So, no help really except I find myself having to be quite firm with ds2 when I really need to get on and do something - like make tea - and maybe there's a compromise you might have to find about feeding on demand at this stage, when they hit the toddler phase and start demanding everything!!

oh hi lockets
I am waiting for someone to come on and say don't worry it's a phase and she will grow out of it tomorrow

maybe look at naps? is she still on two or one? morning or afternoon?

anyway, to return to your op... it is a phase. feeding on demand is easier than imposing your own restrictions on uncomprehending little person. need more.....?

I know dottydot, I tell you what the problem is:
I always fed dd1 on demand until she gave up (not long ago....) BUT BUT BUT she was so much less demanding and by this age we had settled into quite an easy routine tbh.
and I feel a bit mean and unfair imposing "rules" about bf on dd2 when I didn't with dd1
and dd1 gets very disapproving if I say no to dd2 about it, and she cries. which makes me feel even more guilty.
god I am being wet about this aren't I?

the naps ARE a problem tbh.
she would like to sleep in the morning
dd1 likes to sleep in the afternoon
something has to give....
dd2 also wakes up eveyr morning between 5am and 5.30am
which also doesn't help

i'd dropped the late afternoon feed @ 13months quite by accident really one day we were busy doing something else so i forgot to feed next day he fed & then we forgot next day as busy doing something & after that just made sure we were busy @ that feed time so i never said no just made sure we were occupied

ooer i am feeling all psychic

she sounds similar to ds, he did awful things with naps. can you keep her going till after lunch? it really can't last long though, baby to toddler... [snuffle]

god - late afternoon is the worst time in the day anyway isn't it - and stroppy toddlers don't make it any easier!

Probably again not helpful, but if it carrys on being difficult, it's going to knacker you out and make you stroppy and then that's no good for anyone, so maybe things can't be the same for dd2 as they were for dd1.

Thinking about my ds's - ds1 is unbelievably non-tactile - was very happy to give up breastfeeding and stopped cuddling us from the minute he could - is outraged that we insist on cuddling and kissing him all the time!

What works for one might not work for the other. Sorry - not wanting to be negative but just trying to make it easier if you do have to make a decision to alter your breastfeeding pattern.

FWIW I think it is a phase

thanks everyone, it has helped talking it through tbh. it is to do with the differences between the two children, and my feelings about them and wanted to treat them the same. which of course isn't possible

But phases are so bloody difficult to get through!!

(it's just possible my viewpoint is slightly prejudiced at the moment as we've just transferred ds2 from a cot to a bed and the 'phase' we're in at the moment is putting him back to bed every 5 minutes...)

Oh gosh didn't think it would be you, I must admit, but why not? You are human too as well as superb lactating goddess

Huge sympathy etc. DISTRACTION works. Going out and never sitting down works. Waiting for them to grow out of it works. Eventually.

You are tired and bothered atm anyway. It doesn't help.

Yes HC - it breaks my heart that it's not possible to treat ds's the same - not that they'd probably want us to, because they're so different, but sometimes it just doesn't seem fair that the 2nd one gets less time/attention/has to grow up quicker in some ways and then also that the 1st one seems to shoulder lots more responsibility but is still so young and sometimes doesn't understand why ds2 isn't asked to do similar things!

Sorry - veering off topic!

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, what you've said re differences between the children is ringing SO many bells with me, Harpsi!

I deal with it by going to work four days a week, so I can be calm, placid, doesn't mind being mauled Mummy on the three days I'm with the boys. I appreciate that's not likely to be an option you'll consider though

I find it easier to deal with Fridays (DS1 goes to preschool in the morning, I take DS2 out somewhere while he's there, bring them home, we all have lunch, then we all sleep in the afternoon.

So I would try, if at all possible, to steer DD2 round to being an afternoon napper.

But I remember this being the transition time from two naps to one for DS1 (DS2 dropped his second nap when he was about 6mo [grr]) so it's a difficult age from that POV.

Email me if you want to, lovely Harpsi.

Oh, and it's just a phase and she'll grow out of it. And she will. But maybe not tomorrow...

yes, I am too tired to distract and STAND UP and I think my supply is down because I am soooo knackered and stressed out. I need a freaking holiday.
but yes I must try other things because this siuation is really getting to me and I feel a bit close to the edge about .
of course dd2 doesn't know I am not treating her the same, how could she? but I feel bad all the same

mauled
yes that's what I feel

thanks everyone, I am going to have a bath and early night
xxxxx

Um, my 22-month old is still like this, still going through this "phase". Agree that going out helps. I'm having trouble with this mysefl - want to stooooop.

sticking fingers in ears