Today we went to the child health clinic. Due to a clash in the surgery the waiting room was stuffed to bursting with both mums and old ladies (apparently there was also an independent living clinic on). The room is set up so people sit round the outside in a square with a desk at one end and the loos at the other.
Anyway, went in, checked in sat down in a free seat opposite some old ladies. Waited thirty minutes. DD woke up, looked at me and opened her mouth to scream for food. Knowing her signs I quickly patted her, very discretely lay her on my lap and started feeding her.
I became aware of three old women opposite nudging each other and saying things like 'would you look at that' and tutting. I would have ignored them but I'd had a bad day so I smiled at them and asked if there was a problem.
"Do you really think that's appropriate dear", said the bravest of the lot.
"Um yes" I replied "she'll be very loud and unhappy if I don't feed her".
"Well the toilets are just over there". She replies, as if this is a solution to my embarassment.
"Thank you." I reply (taking strains not to sound sarcastic) "but if you remember, toilets are for defecating and urinating and we need to do neither. Besides we'd be in there for around 30 minutes and I don't know, would your bladder last that long?"
She starts to look very cross: "That's none of your business".
"No, you are right, and this is none of yours" I reply levelly indicating my DD who is ignoring all this and merrily suckling and farting.
They both start looking at each other aghast and then at the receptionist (who is trying to blend into the wallpaper in order not to be asked to adjudicate).
I really didn't mean to say it, I didn't...but it just slipped out....
"and if you don't mind, could you PLEASE stop rolling your eyes and close your mouths, you look like a trio of guppies!"
Cue rest of waiting room dissolving into fits of giggles.
One mum had to run to the loo (think her pelvic floor may not have been ready for this outburst).
Luckily we were next in so we didn't have to sit watching them studying their exceptionally swollen feet for much longer.