"Stop rolling your eyes, & close your mouth, you look like a guppy!" - a mumsnetter revolts!!!

[tinkerbellhadpiles]

Today we went to the child health clinic. Due to a clash in the surgery the waiting room was stuffed to bursting with both mums and old ladies (apparently there was also an independent living clinic on). The room is set up so people sit round the outside in a square with a desk at one end and the loos at the other.
Anyway, went in, checked in sat down in a free seat opposite some old ladies. Waited thirty minutes. DD woke up, looked at me and opened her mouth to scream for food. Knowing her signs I quickly patted her, very discretely lay her on my lap and started feeding her.
I became aware of three old women opposite nudging each other and saying things like 'would you look at that' and tutting. I would have ignored them but I'd had a bad day so I smiled at them and asked if there was a problem.
"Do you really think that's appropriate dear", said the bravest of the lot.
"Um yes" I replied "she'll be very loud and unhappy if I don't feed her".
"Well the toilets are just over there". She replies, as if this is a solution to my embarassment.
"Thank you." I reply (taking strains not to sound sarcastic) "but if you remember, toilets are for defecating and urinating and we need to do neither. Besides we'd be in there for around 30 minutes and I don't know, would your bladder last that long?"
She starts to look very cross: "That's none of your business".
"No, you are right, and this is none of yours" I reply levelly indicating my DD who is ignoring all this and merrily suckling and farting.
They both start looking at each other aghast and then at the receptionist (who is trying to blend into the wallpaper in order not to be asked to adjudicate).
I really didn't mean to say it, I didn't...but it just slipped out....
"and if you don't mind, could you PLEASE stop rolling your eyes and close your mouths, you look like a trio of guppies!"
Cue rest of waiting room dissolving into fits of giggles.
One mum had to run to the loo (think her pelvic floor may not have been ready for this outburst).
Luckily we were next in so we didn't have to sit watching them studying their exceptionally swollen feet for much longer.

that's brilliant you are a star and I think possibly mumsnet quote of the week all in one

Good for you.

And you know what -- good for your daughter too.

Ha -- wisdom and age doesn't necessarily go together.

I get so fed up of the tuts and glares ... when you breast feed / when you don't and the baby screams.

Wish people would just give mums a break ... better still actually help and even praise them sometimes.

What effort is it really to be nice.

Would like to think they will stop such curmudgeonly ways ... but they're probably whinging over their ovaltine ...

PS -- write to your GP and insist that they do put a sign up ...

Brilliant! PMSL!

priceless.

it should get a bf award.

FAB!

I am so impressed with your level-headedness and quick thinking. Good for you!

I'm sure I'd have tutted back at them and said something quite rude.

unfortunately, old people can be very rude. not sure why.

but maybe they'll think twice before being rude to a bf-ing mother again. who knows, you may have helped another mum who isn't as confident as you and would've gone to feed her baby in the toilet.

Well done you! People who think you should B/F in a toilet obviously don't know one end of a baby from the other (I stole that phrase )

Oh - and what UrbanDryad just said too

I just don't get how anyone can find bfeeding offensive particularly in a bloody GP's surgery! What did they do in their day?

"merrily suckling and farting" - your baby knew the right response too, well done to you both

Why on earth do people think that a toilet is the right place to feed a baby?????

I have never understood this.

I don't eat in a toilet. By should a baby?

And I ended up having to bottle feed both of mine. I wouldn't have bottle fed in the loo, why should a mother breast feed in the loo??

Crazy

Fantastic .

ROFL

An absolute classic!

Well done TB

I've got blummin croissant splattered all over my laptop now.

Weel Done Tinker! Excellent answers to the comments!

Well not weel!!!

It is quite sad because I always assume old dears like that breastfed too and in public, obviously not !

I knew a Greek lady, in her late 80's now, who told me she bf her first baby in the tunnels of the London underground during the Blitz. I always thought that was a fantastic way to make sure her baby survived the War

Was formula easily available during the War ? It must have been bloody expensive if it was. How did the 3 Guppy fish afford it ?

ps - don't laugh but I knew the sons of the man (an explorer) who "discovered" the Guppy fish ! Their surname is Guppy, dad gave his name to the fish !!

FWIW my Nan was quite proud she'd also fed her SIL's son on occasions as well as her own baby (this was during WWII). Nan must have been absolutely overflowing with milk to have fed both babies but I really don't know if she'd have done it in public. She was quite forthright about b/f being the intended use for breasts though and not just a man's toy!!

This is one of the funniest things I've read on here for ages. Good for you Tink.

well done - good for you - and very funny too!

Most excellent (won't say 'you go girl' on principle)

absolutely brilliant!!!!!!
am printing it off to show to breast feeding group if you dont mind?

ROFL. Am currently bf 11 day old dd2, will have to remember the 'guppies' line and pass it off as my own.

Also at Skribble's yuppies.

At the risk of revealing my true identity (I since changed to a more imaginative username) this is NOT the first funny thing that has happened to me while breastfeeding. In case you missed it - the dangers of dairy here

Never were my boobs such a source of humour!

I live in Scotland where one of the few useful things that the devolved parliament has been to protect breast feeding mothers in public.

I am still amazed that this isn;t so in England, although with old women like that they would probably have made the same comments regardless.

When I was feeling particularly agressive I almost wanted someone to say something so I could tell them that actually I could breastfeed where ever I wanted.

BF your baby in the toilet - wtf? If I had been there I would have had to say something too.

Well done. Sometimes old ladies are so horrible to you that you do end up being ruder than you would normally. I once called an old lady an "evil old bag" I'm not proud of it but I tried to reason with her and she just kept on and on at me - my offence - bring my DS (6 months) into the supermarket in his buggy - she refused to walk past the buggy - despite there being tons of room and told me to move the buggy outside so she could do her shopping.

Honestly