What would have liked to know about breastfeeding?

[SleepForTheWeak]

I have 10-15mins tomorrow to talk to a group of expectant mums about breastfeeding...

What would you have liked to know about it prior to having your baby? What would have helped and what let you down?

TIA!

Cluster feeding- about how it can go on for hours and you will feel like something is wrong but you can get through it. That your baby will be permanently attached to you for the first few weeks and that is normal. That your mother and mil will have been given different advice which is now out of date. Such as feed for 20 minutes on each breast or top up with formula. My mum and mil believe this to be gospel because it was what they were taught. As a result, my feeding on demand makes them worry I'm not producing enough when, in fact, I'm doing great and my baby is a lovely chunk who is gaining well.

Sometimes it hurts and that's normal! You just need to persevere until your nipples toughen up! It doesn't initially feel as earth motherly and natural as people make out. I am glad I got through the initial pain because he didn't loose weight at the 1 week weigh in and at six months I'm proud he's never had a bottle.

If you have a sleepy baby, set your alarm to feed every three hours overnight. Your midwife will be horrified otherwise.

Ask for help when it hurts. There's loads of support out there, but you need to ask your midwife/health visitor/call the ward you have been discharged from.

Don't have visitors until you've sorted breastfeeding. Nothing worse than interfering relatives saying no harm in giving a bottle when your milk comes in and you have baby blues, and all you really want to be doing is lying in bed with your top off feeding the baby while your stitches heal, but you're having to get up to make cups of tea for said interfering relatives while they hog your hungry baby.

Reusable breast pads are way more comfortable than itchy plastic disposable ones.

Ask your midwife to double check for tongue tie. Doctors can miss them in the hospital.

The bond you develop through extended breastfeeding will last you the rest of your lives.
Extended breastfeeding teaches the next generation how to breastfeed successfully.
Breastfeeding, especially at first, is a 24/7 activity - you'll be 'touched out' for weeks but you will learn to love it.
Don't think of breastfeeding as 'feeding' or breastmilk as 'food'. It's more like breathing - its what your baby does to stay alive.

I think if you only have limited time you should keep it simple-

• Benefits of bf for women and babies (a couple of minutes)

• Why women stop bf- pain in nipples, baby unsettled and baby 'not getting enough milk', explain how some pain can be normal, tiny babies are often unsettled when not being held, tiny babies feed very, very frequently so it can feel as though they aren't getting enough even though they are.
• Information on other resources- LLL and nct helplines, perhaps a book or two they could read. Mn was invaluable to me too, as was talking to my sister who had bf. Who to contact if it does go wrong.

I think that the trouble with specifics is that they're so variable. I tried several reusable breast pads and never found them as comfy as disposables. I loved Lansinoh, my friend hated it. If you have mastitis you need antibiotics as a matter of urgency (cabbage leaves might help but you need the drugs). My dd never fed for comfort, even as a new born it was just for milk. I didn't get bf 'sorted' at all with ds, he was mix fed, but I personally wouldn't have liked to be without any visitors for the first month until he got his tongue tie snipped. I didn't lose loads of weight whilst bf! I got very thirsty breast feeding ds but not at all feeding dd.

They're just some of the contradictions in my experience from this short thread! Keep it simple.

Yes to banning visitors for the first week! I created a nest on the settee and dh did everything else including bringing me food and water. We let grandparents visit once and that was it. I'm certain people hogging dd1 was the reason I failed the first time around. No one left us alone and when I found it overwhelming it was because I'd got the 'baby blues' or pnd! Actually, it was because everyone else was putting their wants above my needs and I was so desperate to be the perfect Mother I let them. I learned!

That baby has to learn too. One lovely midwife said the perfect thing to me, 'it's not you, it's the baby'. I though i was doing it all wrong but my baby needed to learn to breastfeed too.

This is something I think about quite a lot. I knew to expect cluster feeding as I had read The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding but despite the NHS putting so much focus on breastfeeding they never mention it.
Doctors and health visitors have at various stages said things like "how often does he feed, every three hours?"
WHY are these aril peddling this myth that breastfed babies feed three hourly. It's SO dangerous as if makes so many women at the start feel like they don't have enough milk.
Also that almost everyone will have enough supply and unless you intend to combi feed there is almost no need to top up (unless baby ill etc) just feed feed feed.

Er, that it's OK not to do it?

And don't let health professionals guilt trip you into it to the detriment of your health and your baby's.

Thanks everyone, talk went well and I think I managed to squeeze everything in without being over bearing!

I'm due DC2 in June and plan to breastfeed again (bf DD1 for 25 months). This thread has brought back to light how time consuming and demanding feeding a newborn is and now I'm panicking about managing to do it while trying to entertain a toddler too

Toffee, I was there to tell the mums to be about the breastfeeding support that was available in our area and some things that might stand them in good stead.

Hopefully it didn't come across as pushy, but without knowing the facts and resources available it would be harder to make and informed decision.

Of course it's every mothers personal choice, but for those who WANT to breastfeed, it's nice to have a bit of info about it beforehand

That tongue-tie makes breastfeeding so painful you lay in bed hoping your baby doesn't wake up...ever again :-(
I went to a breastfeeding workshop where I asked "what problems can occur when breastfeeding?" The answer I got was "Nothing".

My 16 week old would be in proper hysterics if I tried to space her feeds by 3 hours. She goes 3 hours at night on occasion but that's it. Clusterfeeding happens exactly as you need to get other kids to bed.

Everyone raises good points. I think you should also focus on the positives - it's easy to dwell on the cluster feeding, the pain, the lack of "freedom" with breastfeeding.

But once established, breastfeeding becomes so much easier than bottle feeding in my opinion. No sterilising, no worrying about taking bottles, no stressing over powder and water amounts. No worrying about over feeding. Great for travelling too, you don't have to worry about taking water and formula through security.

Yes Jellypi3 I agree. I would tell anyone beginning to breastfeed that at the start it's endless to get yourself Netflix or Amazon prime and expect to be eating one handed on the sofa all day (which is not all that bad right?). It is hard at the start though and nights seem soooo long and lonely. But once you get past that it's wonderful to be able to go anywhere with the baby and only need nappies. You'll be able to go to someone's house for 10 mins and stay for hours without having to worry about feeding. You can go away to a hotel or stay anywhere without having to worry about microwaves and bottles and formula.
And then when your baby gets bigger and fussy and only likes feeding lying down you get to go and have a nap / MN break lying in bed with your baby numerous times a day.

Not to switch back and forth between breasts. Let them drain one. To avoid blocked ducts

Blinky, sorry, not quite right, and definitely wrong as general advice.

You cannot drain a breast.

Switching sides is fine.

Let the baby set the pace and switch when the baby indicates he's had what he wants from side one.

:)

That - once established- you can produce milk as baby sucks. So you can't run out.

Watch your baby not the clock.
If it hurts check for tongue tie.
It feels great to know that your baby can be safely wherever you are. Especially if you are delayed when travelling or away from home.

What to do about oversupply. We had a really difficult few months because of it, everyone talks about under supply but oversupply could definitely be a reason some mums give up (we had 4 months of projectile vomiting, being soaked to the skin 24/7, mastitis, etc before things righted themselves - not fun!).

That it doesn't work for everyone and you shouldn't feel guilty if it doesn't work for you.

And everyone's feeding experience is different. I still find it painful after 6 months, and found everyone saying how amazing it was after 6 weeks made me feel 100 times worse.

Sorry if it has already been mentioned but couldn't see it - I'd have liked to know about the different positions to BF in. Cradle position just wasn't working for me/DS, 2 health visitors gave no help other than to keep practising and checking the latch. One visit from my Mum, showing me the 'Rugby Ball' hold and within 5mins I was sorted.

I think you need to be careful not to assume that every woman's experience of breastfeeding will be the same, and that every woman should act in the same way.

I would have hated to sit for hours at a time watching box sets with no visitors. Had I been told that this is what I must do I probably would not have started to breast feed at all. Fortunately I didn't have to to as my babies fed for a while then slept for a while, and spaced their feeds out to 3/4 hours after the first few weeks. But that is only my experience.

I was fortunate to find the process straightforward, but can't say I particularly enjoyed breastfeeding, and I was very glad to stop at nine months. Plenty of love and cuddles however you feed.

Limit visitors in early days if it means you won't be available to feed on demand or could interfere with your feeding.

Demand feeding does not mean letting baby sleep for five hours and then feeding every hour, it can mean encouraging baby to feed every three hours or more.

Cluster feeding is normal.

Feeding often in the night is normal (prolactin levels higher at night)

Set things up at home, so demands on you are reduced (housework/entertaining/other stuff) and you can concentrate on the baby for at least first month to get feeding established.

Breastfeeding can be like natural valium when it is established (ie 3 months in) Lovely chance for a sitdown, and feel good oxytocin. People are reluctant to admit this bit, that they actually enjoy it, but it is true!

I am not reluctant to admit "feel good oxytocin" - I just never experienced it. I was just as likely to feel a rush of love for my child when playing or cuddling - or I am afraid to say when they were sleeping!

Telling women they WILL experience this just makes them feel a failure when they don't