Help with engorged boob please!

[Kione]

DS is two weeks old and has a mild tongue tie, they said the latch was ok and didn't need cutting.
He has been feeding and put on weight but my nipples are really sore and worst is one boob gets really full and sore, the other not so bad.
How do I make them even? I am tempted to just use the full one but I know that's not right as it will just keep producing. I think it is already overproducing as milk just pours out.
Any advice please?
Midwife coming tomorrow but I don't find her very helpful. Breastfeeding group not on til next week and that feels like ages.
Help please!
Thanks.

Ah that sounds like you're really caught between a rock and a hard place. I'm afraid I don't know anything about colic and formula but someone else might be able to help with that. Maybe different teats/ brand of formula?

But my experience with the tongue tie was that dd was upset only for a few minutes- and being upset she wanted to feed. She was a little grumpy the rest of the day, just like when she had her vaccinations a few weeks later. But she was fine the next day, and if anything she was more keen to feed as she was clearly pleased she could latch properly.

Obviously there are risks involved but for me it felt like a small risk that was worth it to make breastfeeding work. And she really barely cried. I had my boob out ready to feed her the instant she was cut and I think that helped.

If I express to relieve the engorgement, I take I shouldn't empty the breast? Do I only express for a few minutes?
Thanks!

Yes, just enough to feel comfortable.

I did used to pump until breast was nearly empty but obviously it's different for everyone. I would say though that I think it is completely normal (but horrible nonetheless) to be having engorgement problems at this stage as your body and baby are still establishing a rhythm at this stage. I could have given up at this stage with both of mine - it was so painful (reflux, thrush, engorged boobs) but I think I knew second time round that if I could just make it through the teething problems then I'd probably be ok. Of course it doesn't always work out for people and it's absolutely your choice but just saying that I felt just the same as you but ultimately it did all work in the end. I had a medela pump which was excellent and a Tommee Tippee bottle steriliser which worked well. Hugs

How many times did I use the word 'stage'?! Oh dear. More coffee required!

That is what I am hoping, that it's somehow normal.
He fed often during the night for more than the dreaded 5-10 minutes and my boobs are better for it this morning.

But I can feel the milk coming up and its quite unpleasant

Do you mean you can feel the 'let down' and it's painful? I remember this being excruciating for a good few weeks with dc1 before it settled down but with dd2 it persisted and was crazy painful. I was at a baby group and the health visitor asked whether she could check dc's tongue. It was white but I'd always assumed it was just milk. It turned out to be thrush and that's why it continued to be agony on let down. Some antibiotics cleared it up really quickly and let down wasn't painful anymore. Just something to check maybe.

It's good that your baby has fed well in the night. I really think you are doing brilliantly - breastfeeding is harder than people think to begin with. I thought it would just be easy and it was several weeks before it really was. Once dd and I were into a rhythm I was so glad to have stuck it out. You can only do your best though. Take advantage of any support and expertise you can xx

Yeah I think so, am not sure what is the "let down" but I can feel tingling and discomfort, I can feel it as I write. DS has woken up, not sure if that has anything to do with it.
I thought the pain would be only in the nipples, not all this whole boob ordeal. I can't hug my family properly and am crying constantly.
To be honest I am thinking of giving up as soon as he is big enough not to have colic. I know a few here think it has no relation but I think it does. I have no other reason to keep at it if it makes me so miserable.
DD grew out of her colics at 6 weeks and am nearly half way there and if I am still in pain I'll try a bottle.
Thanks for the support, it is the best I am getting so far.

and

You've breast fed for two weeks with pain and a tongue tie, give yourself some credit for how hardcore that is. Hugs might not be the thing right now, but sending you an online one anyway.

Please do follow up the tongue tie, if that gets sorted you might find everything else falls into place.

But I am worried you really sound like you're (understandably) upset, do you have people around to give support? Do you have any friends nearby who can come for a cuppa? If you are seeing your midwife today it might be worth asking if there is any other support you can link into? Maybe let her know how you're feeling? I know you said you are on an island so resources are limited, but are there other midwives you can speak to if this one isn't as helpful as you need? Your supervisor of midwives (number should be on your green folder) may be able to link you up with someone who is more on your wavelength, and may have a breastfeeding specialist on their books. If you have a health visitor yet you can ask them too. Don't be afraid to ask for support if you need it!

Thank you. The midwife that came today was much nicer, she said she's doing a referral to the surgeon today. I do have friends
although not close as I am not originally from here, and I am starting to get in touch now, wasn't fit for visits before.
There is a breastfeeding advising midwife but she had a family emergency so not available, so I go to a breastfeeding group run by a HV.

My partner is a huge support, can't wait for him to get home. DS has been erratic today again feeding little and often and hardly sleeping

Thanks again

I'm glad you had a more supportive midwife. I hope your referral comes through quickly and the tongue tie can be cut soon.

Try not to worry about looking/seeming your best for your friends, if they're worth their salt they will just want to look after you!

Hang on in there, it does get better!

I couldn't care less what I look like to anyone, but I am thinking of cancelling, today I've been incredibly tired, dizzy and crying.
This started with an engorged boob and suddenly its this shitty overwhelming feeling all the time.

Has mastitis been ruled out? Do you feel hot and unwell? Poor you - sending hugs.

I would also add that feeling 'shitty' usually hits at 2 weeks too as the adrenaline of giving birth has worn off, visitors slow down and reality hits. Somehow I find it's the time when people assume you are into the swing of things so the fuss they make of you can dry up a bit! When we had dc1 I thought dh could not put a foot wrong - after two weeks I thought we might get divorced! The baby also 'wakes up' around this time and suddenly decides that what's going on around him is worth missing naps for! I totally hear you about the pain of your boob and I know that's real but wondering whether you might have (emotionally) reached the same point at lot of women reach around this time as well. Is our dh around to support you?

Thank you.
That is exactly how I felt about my DP the first 2 weeks! Like I fell in love with him all over again! That feeling has calmed diwn but he is still very supportive and I am very very grateful, he keeps the house going and my DD entertained.
I don't feel hot, so I don't think it's mastitis.
We haven't had many visitors as we asked them not to come, but people ate starting to text to meet for coffee/lunch and I just can't think how I'll manage.
The pain on the boobs has changed again, now my nipples feel like they burn. No big engorgement tho which is good.
Midwife coming again tomorrow as she wants to "keep an eye on " as I am still very emotional and not sure if I bonded with baby.
I kust wish I was me again.

I'm glad the engorged boob has calmed down a little - that's at least good. Perhaps you could ask midwife to check for thrush just in case that's contributing to burning pain? I had no idea we had it until the midwife said.

I would suggest doing small trips out on your own as a family to start with. Just 45 minutes for a coffee and a walk - just to get you all out of the house. Fresh air helped me immensely. It's awful if you feel a bit stuck in the house. When you feel a bit more yourself there will be plenty of time for visitors. Perhaps if there's anyone you are particularly close to you could go to their house and then there is no pressure to get house ready and you can leave when you've had enough rather than waiting for them to leave.

Your dh sounds as though he's doing a good job. Have you had much skin to skin aside from feeding? Just having your baby sleep on your chest after a feed maybe? That might help you bond perhaps?

I know it's a whole lot different having dc2 - not so much time to dedicate to just that little being. I'm sure you are doing a great job though and the midwife will help you if she feels you have a touch of the baby blues. Just remember your feelings are normal in the sense that lots of women feel like that - but they won't last forever and you will feel like you again.

Sending hugs and supportive vibes!

Oh, and I assume you have tried Lansinoh or similar cream for nipples? Just a thought.

Thanks again. Yeah lots if Lansinoh.
I lost lots of blood at labour (they had the transfusion blood ready but didn't need it, just) that is why I feel dizzy, and I went out friday and felt awful after, that's why I don't feel like going out now. Its a tricky one trying to recover from that whilst breastfeeding a big baby and not sleeping.
But I know I should make an effort.
Baby's tongue is not white, but I'll ask the midwife about thrush.
Thanks for the support.

Noooo
Woke up with a similar boob today, as baby is only feeding for 5 minutes I fed him from the hard boob until it felt better.
MW came and said its totally the wrong thing to do as it will keep producing more. But I really wanted to get the lumps down :(
So, I can feel the boob filling up again. Feels horrid :(

I meant I fed him 3 times from same boob.

Hi,

Sorry to hear you're still in pain. I know it doesn't help but thinking back, I probably had engorged boobs for a good few weeks to begin with. It did settle down eventually but hurt a lot for some time. This is what they sometimes fail to tell you at antenatal class. It is bloody painful to start with!

I really think a breast feeding specialist would be your best bet if you can access one?

Meanwhile, I'd follow your midwifes advice and feed from alternate boobs and see what happens. I know it's painful but perhaps that's the only way to get into a rhythm. You are doing so well - I'm sure things will improve soon. X

Thanks. I don't have access to a specialist, living on an island and the only one from NHS is off on family emergency.
This morning is as bad as when I wrote the post. Ironically I need to get ready to go to the Breastfeeding Buddies group but I feel too weak. No temperature and took painkillers. More and more I am thinking when DS is 6 weeks will try formula, that is when DD got over her colic.
I have lost 12kg in 3 weeks, don't think my body is coping.
Sorry doom and gloom again, today is not a good day.

So the boob not engorged anymore but still sore to touch.
Can I also ask, is it normal to feel the milk coming in with quite a lot of pain like needles??
I told the dr and she didn't say anything but it is really bad... I feel this in both boobs