DS2 is 5 weeks old and so far has been exclusively bf. However, he's still not back to his birthweight of 10lbs 2.5oz and has only been gaining weight at a rate of 1 - 2 oz a week. Last week he was feeding almost continuously and I saw a bfc who helped me with my latch but that hasn't made any difference with his weight gain. He did stop feeding so often and was going 3 hours between feeds but that stopped at the weekend and he's back to constant feeding for most of the day. He seems to feed, fall asleep, falls off the breast, then wakes 5 -10 minutes later and does the same again for most of the day. He will occasionally have an hour or two of being awake and not wanting to feed but that's only once in a day.
The HV who weighed him on Weds told me to keep going with the bf, feeding him every 3 hours round the clock which I've been trying. DS2 has other ideas though and will only go half an hour to an hour between feeds through the day and then sleeps from about 9pm until the early hours of the morning. It is impossible to wake him up when he's in that phase and if I do manage to stir him he will suck a couple of times and fall asleep again. So he's going about 6 hours without feeding and I don't know how to change that.
I'm also finding it tricky to keep him latched on in the way the bfc showed me. He'll suck a few times but then moves his mouth so he's where he likes to be. I end up taking him off almost every other suck or leaving him with a 'bad' latch for a bit before starting the whole battle again. I think the shape of my boobs may be contributing to the problem as I have to support the boob he's feeding on with one hand and his neck/shoulders with the other. As soon as I stop supporting my boob he loses the latch. But I can't spend an hour plus in the one position, I end up in agony.
Tiktok suggested breast compressions and I've got the Jack Newman stuff on it feom Kellymom and tried it but I can't tell when he's actually drinking and when he's just sucking. It hasn't made any apparent difference to his sucking pattern when I've been squeezing so I'm either doing it wrong or it doesn't work on me.
I just don't know how to make it work. I'm in tears a lot over it, I don't want to switch to fomula because I failed with bf with my older 2 and so want it to work his time. I feel like a total failure knowing that I can't bf when it's the most natural thing in the world. I just don't understand what's going wrong and why it's getting worse not better. What else can I do to make it work this time? I'm in tears just writing this down because formula is starting to feel like it's inevitable.
I also feel like I'm not being fair on ds1 and dd. They're only 3.1 and 17 months and they need me but I spend literally all day apart from the half hour preschool run, making the lunch and putting dd down for her nap just sat on the sofa with ds2 attached to my nipple. I can't take them out on my own because they are too youg to play independently in the park, etc and they won't sit down for long enough in a cafe etc for me to manage a full feed because ds2 doesn't seem to do a 'feed', all day is a feed.
So, what do I do? Do I just accept that I've done my best and I'm just not a breastfeeder, or is there something else I can do to make it work? All I want is to be able to feed him and know that he's full and won't need feeding for a couple of hours.
Soory if this doesn't make much sense, I'm getting myself into a right state over it all but don't know what to do or the best.