Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Just read this - one year old is hardly extended bf, is it?

99 replies

bagaboo · 30/01/2007 11:44

www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,8123-1599256,00.html

Don't know how to link but just saw that article, I know 1 year is longer than a lot of people bf for but i hardly thought of it as 'extended'. Not that whether its extended or not matters, but i felt quite offended by reading that - her tone seemed to be that anyone feeding that late is a bit strange and selfish - or am i overreacting? Sounds like she has a few issues to me...

OP posts:
NotQuiteCockney · 30/01/2007 12:56

Bonkers article. Children get to an age where they need to do things for themselves. So my two-year-old should be pouring himself glasses of milk, then?

And yeah, extended BFers can't leave their kids alone. Yeah, I'm forever holding onto my toddler desperately while he tries to go away.

eviletc · 30/01/2007 13:01

balls.

or should that be tits

having your 40 year old living in your spare room is completely different to bfing your 1 year old.

my dd is nearly 9 months. most people assume i have stopped bf. but i will carry on for as long as she wants to.

i expect she will stop by 40.....

CanStarveWillStarve · 30/01/2007 13:12

Utter poppycock!

Though I do think that bf'ing past a year can be considered extended these days, as theoretically they could just have cows milk after that. Don't see why being an extended bf'er should be used as a derogatory term though!

Eulalia · 30/01/2007 13:16

What a load of crap. The usual spiel about toddlers not being independent.... show me an independent 12 month old!

I couldn't see a link to provide a comment - not sure if I can be bothered though.

Twiglett · 30/01/2007 13:18

actually .. whilst I haven't read the article .. I do think that breastfeeding beyond 12 months can easily be termed extended

can't be arsed with the article .. I'm sure its tosh

vnmum · 30/01/2007 13:44

complete rubbish. she has obviously not researched her facts on extended feeding and IMHO this seems typical of the anti breastfeeding brigade and it also seems pro detachment parenting and against the belif of attachment parenting re the independance of children.

from my experience extending nursing kids actually ask for the milk, it is not forced on them to make them feel guilty etc as she implied.

these types of articles make me

TrinityRhino · 30/01/2007 13:48

what a load of 'the dogs'
stupid woman, I fed dd1 till she was 14 months and did not remotely think I was an extended BF'der

she obviously had a slightly troubeld childhood for hich I feel for her but it doesn't excuse her spouting so much crap

Pamina · 30/01/2007 13:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TrinityRhino · 30/01/2007 13:49

just realised that 'the dogs bollocks' is actually a phrase for a good thingand I didn't meant that. I was trying to say bollocks without saying bollocks, didn't work very well as I have now said it 3 times..... sorry

Twiglett · 30/01/2007 14:01

I thought I was extended breastfeeding when I made it past 6 months

so prrrpppettttt

Tatties · 30/01/2007 14:14

The article should be titled

Breastfeeding women - KNOW YOUR LIMITS!

AlanasMum · 30/01/2007 14:27

When I had bf for 6 months I mentioned to my hv I was hoping to manage till my dd was 12months. Her reply was 'oh no your not going to be one of those extended bfing mothers are you' as if it was a disgusting thing.
(just stopped at 13.5months)

WigWamBam · 30/01/2007 14:34

What a load of bollocks.

I wonder how many extended breastfeeders she knows to have given her such an insight into why and how they do it?

I feel she has some ishoos she needs to work through ...

3andnomore · 30/01/2007 15:09

WWB, can't be that many, seeing that her reaction was of utter shock that there indeed could be thousands of those mothers around, rofl

Eulalia · 30/01/2007 15:42

It's been a long time since I've written about this but for some reason that woman got my goat so have composed a letter (please read and comment and proof read for spelling mistakes/grammar etc). Thanks. Also if anyone can tell me wehre to email the blasted thing I'd appreciate it - doesn't seem to be any obvious links on the page.

Eulalia · 30/01/2007 15:45

Here it is - a bit long - sorry!

I found this article tedious, ill informed and vaguely pompous. Dorothy Rowe didn?t actually say anything of interest. The whole article amounted to ?I think babies shouldn?t breastfeed for too long?, a view which is hardly newsworthy.

The majority of the article consisted of vague conjectures arrived at with no supporting evidence and seems to merely reveal the authors distaste in a practice which I suspect she doesn?t know very much about. Time and time again I find it seems to be alright for people to have (and give) an opinion on something which they have never actually done themselves. ?Extended? breastfeeding is a popular topic for debate. What evidence does Dorothy Rowe have that mothers are only breastfeeding their 12 month (or older) babies for ?themselves?. If she were to actually ask any mother in this situation she would see what a ridiculous statement this is. I have ?extended? (why use this word anyway?) breastfed all three of my children, all of whom are quite independent and capable of looking after themselves appropriate to their age. At times I have enjoyed breastfeeding, at other times I have found it tiring and difficult, much the same as any aspect of mothering. I am still breastfeeding my youngest aged 18 months and have no definite time in mind of stopping.

Dorothy Rowe mentions an example of a 40 year old man who doesn?t do his own washing. What has this got to do with breastfeeding a 12 month old? Was this some half hearted attempt at humour? The myth that breastfeeding a toddler makes them dependent on their mother is age-old and over simplistic to the extreme. In fact if anything the opposite is true. The child knows that the mother is there to provide comfort (which happens to be in the form of breastfeeding) and therefore the child feels loved and secure. Security facilitates independence. Obviously this message of security and comfort can be provided in other ways (and is by breastfeeding mothers as well) such as hugs, kisses, special attention and so on?. A child can enjoy many forms of love and breastfeeding just happens to be one of them. A 12 month old child is still very young and is still very dependent upon other people for its needs. Independence is a gradual process. Children aren?t deemed to be safe on their own till some time in their teens so why this hurry to get a mere baby who is still in nappies, maybe not even walking or talking to be independent? Some may argue that breastfeeding a 12 month old isn?t necessary but we don?t always do things in life because they are necessary. We don?t need biscuits with our cup of tea or to give our children the occasional sweet. We do it because we like it. Why shouldn?t a baby have these simple pleasures particularly in a world where it understands very little but the comfort of his mothers arms (and at times breasts too)?

In many parts of the world breastfeeding toddlers and even older children is seen as perfectly normal. Many of these families are poor and certainly don?t have the luxury of worrying about how dependent they are on their mothers. Indeed many of them if it is available attend school and still breastfeed (see ?The Politics of Breastfeeding? by Gabrielle Palmer for more information). If children are clingy or dependent on their mothers then we must look for other reasons for their behaviour, not whether they are still breastfed or not.

I agree with Dorothy Rowe that an 18 month old can understand emotions but these are fairly crude. For example; ?mummy will get cross if I pull all the pans out of the cupboard again?. I hardly think a child of this age can equate breastfeeding with boosting his own mothers self esteem. The link between the two is far, far too vague. Besides being aware of feelings and actually making allowances for them are completely different things. An 18 month old is fiercely selfish most of the time, hence the developmental stage known as the ?Terrible 2?s? where many battle lie between what the child wants to do and what the child has to do to fit in with the rest of the world. And I can tell you (from experience) that you cannot force an 18 month old to breastfeed if they don?t want to nor do anything else for that matter. If an 18 month old can be as acquiescent as the author suggests then we?d see lots of them eating up their bowls of food every day, tidying their toys up and so on just to please their mothers! I wish! Why shouldn?t a mother enjoy breastfeeding anyway? What is so wrong with that?

It has long been known that breastfeeding your child has health benefits for the mother in the form of protection against uterine, cervical and ovarian cancers as well as breast cancer. Cancer Research UK carried out research in 2002 which stated that if a woman were to extend her period of breastfeeding then the risks of breast cancer would drop.
?On average women in the developing world breastfeed for approximately two years, and have six or seven children, as opposed to two months per child and two or three children in the UK. Researcher Dr Gillian Reeves said: "Even if women in the West were to breastfeed each of their children for an extra six months, this could prevent 5% of breast cancers each year."
Friday, 19 July, 2002,
Extra breastfeeding 'prevents cancer' (BBC Online)

So there seems little wrong with breastfeeding a 12 month, 18 month or older child. Children have plenty of time to grow up and become independent and breastfeeding does not affect them adversely. Indeed it can contribute towards a healthy loving relationship between child and mother providing security and comfort particularly when the child is tired, fractious or ill. On top of that the child receives nutrition that is warm, tasty, healthy and boosts their immune system. Furthermore breastfeeding is healthy for mother too.

I wonder if Dorothy Rowe would object if she saw a child of 12 months sucking a piece of silicone (a dummy) or clutching a piece of cloth (?blanky?). I fear she wouldn?t bat an eyelid. Strange that we live in a culture where attachment to inanimate objects is seen as normal (or even to be encouraged) but engaging in a loving exchange between mother and child is viewed with disdain and suspicion.

mrsmalumbas · 30/01/2007 16:03

Yeah, next time I am trying to wrestle my poor old nipple out of my 2 yo DD's mouth while she is crying and saying "I want some more booooooobie..." I will remind myself how selfish it is for me still to be breastfeeding her. Bad mommy.

Jennster · 30/01/2007 17:18

Yay never thought I would be called an extended breastfeeder!

What a load of tosh (the article that is). Eulalia your letter is very good.

LucyJu · 30/01/2007 19:35

I think your letter is excellent Eulalia - especially your concluding thoughts "I wonder if Dorothy Rowe would object if she saw a child of 12 months sucking a piece of silicone (a dummy) or clutching a piece of cloth (?blanky?). I fear she wouldn?t bat an eyelid. Strange that we live in a culture where attachment to inanimate objects is seen as normal (or even to be encouraged) but engaging in a loving exchange between mother and child is viewed with disdain and suspicion." Well said.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure that you will get much response, since the article was dated 5 May 2005. Still, if the Times wanted to publish an article as a reposte to this load of old drivel, you might like to suggest that there are a number of articulate MNers who, I wager, would be more than happy to oblige.

mamama · 30/01/2007 19:51

& at the article but what a wonderful letter Eulalia.

Click here for Dorothy Rowe's contact details

Maybe she could do a guest appearance on MN one day...

Or here for ways to contact the Times.

The article was published a while ago but I do wonder if they have printed anything that supports 'extended' breasfeeding since. Or ever.

hercules1 · 30/01/2007 19:53

Brilliant letter

Eulalia · 30/01/2007 22:26

Oh never noticed the date! Duh.... may not bother, just feel better getting it out of my system!

shonaspurtle · 30/01/2007 22:28

Please still send it! I'd be really interested in DR's reply.

PinkTulips · 30/01/2007 22:33

i got to this....

'Then there?s this question of being a ?good? child ? children learn from their mothers that ?good? is how the mother (and father) defines it: and if that is to breast-feed, then the child will acquiesce. Not to do so would be to invite punishment.'

and couldn't tread any further.... women like her make me so sad

for what it's worth i fed til a year and certainly did not see it as extended, in fact feel guilty for not feeding for longer.

PinkTulips · 30/01/2007 22:41

brilliant letter eulalia, please do send it

Swipe left for the next trending thread