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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

terminology rant alert.....bf-nazi, mafia, Police, gestapo....

52 replies

3andnomore · 24/01/2007 22:41

So, just why do people it's o.k. to call people that are pro breastfeeding etc...Bresaatfeeding Gestapo, Breastfeeding Nazis, Breastfeeding Mafia, Bf Police etc...how would people feel if people started to say FF Nazi to people that are pro Formula feeding, or other such terms....it realllly annoys me....it would never occur to me to call a Formula feeding mum such names...., sigh!
Yes, people that bf often feel passionate about Breastfeeding, but mostly this is, because they are aware of all the surrounding problems, all the myths, etc...I just find it disturbing that people will use such terms so loosely!

OP posts:

lulumama · 26/01/2007 13:11

tiktok · 26/01/2007 13:11

Aw....but I am not here, honest!
I have gone away again now

lulumama · 26/01/2007 13:12

dejags · 26/01/2007 13:15

I would be interested to know how many women in the past few years have really been on the end of scorn or been pressured by a healthcare professional to make a choice either way.

I have just never encountered it. Certainly I encountered some indifference but never anything sinister or judgemental.

The only time I have ever felt inadequate for not BF'ing is when I have been with other mothers. (I cannot BF due to previous surgery). it seems to me that it's the mums who perpetuate the bad feeling not the professionals. I must add that this works both ways FFeeders slate BFeeders who less often are a bit condescending about women who FF imo.

Plibble · 26/01/2007 13:21

Obviously the old situation where so few women breastfed was foolish and so it makes sense to educate parents about the benefits of breastfeeding. But once the information is given (and support is available for those finding breastfeeding difficult) it is the parent's business how they "choose" to feed their child. I know people now who have chosen not to breastfeed because they just didn't want to but who tell people that they couldn't breastfeed. They must feel some sort of pressure or disapproval in order to lie, which I think is sad. I was lucky and found breastfeeding came very naturally and I am grateful for the change in attitudes which has made it easy for me to feed my baby in lots of different places (so I was able to have a life). Maybe things have just flipped the other way to how they were when I was born (when my mother expressed all of my feeds for outside of the house and noone understood why she didn't use formula).

And I agree with the OP that terms like "gestapo" etc shouldn't be used in this context since it devalues the suffering that people went through at the hands of such groups.

Plibble · 26/01/2007 13:22

I agree about other mothers, dejags. DD is now ff (at 7 months) and I do get the odd "look", always from mothers with smaller babies (who are presumably breastfed). I find it pretty strange, tbh.

Plibble · 26/01/2007 13:25

Also - it's good to see you back, Tiktok

DimpledThighs · 26/01/2007 14:53

it is a very polarised issue now and that is a large part of the problem and sadly it is women with new babies that suffer.

Original poster

3andnomore · 26/01/2007 15:18

Thanks for the claryfication Dimpled...am knackered, am blond...what else can I say!

Had a fair few negative comments especially with ms...by Hp's and other mothers...things like how disgusting it is to bf, etc....

OP posts:

staceym11 · 26/01/2007 16:07

I just wanted to add, i ff both of my little ones, dd (my first) as she would not latch (barely opened her mouth for a bottle let alone my boob!!) and after a while she needed something so the hospital gave me a bottle for her. ds as i thought he wasnt eating properly (and panicked a bit as i knew how much dd was taking on bottles and suddenly i didnt know with him), but its probably good i did as when i put him on formula he was only taking 1oz every 5 hours and we ended up in NNU with him being tube fed.

but anyway i wanted to say that i would never use that terminology, and would frown upon anyone using it. i take my hat off to anybody who can and does bf, i have friends who are avid breastfeeders and we get along great. Unfortunately it just didnt work for us, but my children are healthy and happy and thats all that matters to me!

moondog · 26/01/2007 16:09

3and.....what a bummer that people are giving you a hard time.
I find that when unwanted opinions are offered,a chirpy smile and a brisk 'Snout out!' usually does he trick.

Idiots

Original poster

3andnomore · 26/01/2007 16:29

Oh Moondog, it didn't bother me to much, as I had FF'ed first ds after 4 month of bf and knew how much I personally hated FF and the work it made...but thought especially the Hp's were at times out of order...I mean, I was the only mother in the m&t group that bf'ed and when even the Hp's say things like..."Urgh, I never bf'ed because I couldn't stand the thought of a Baby being on my breast"....if I was an insecure mum, I would have maybe started having doubts...but well, the way I am, i just challeneged them instead....!
And the amount of flag I got for wanting to wait with weaing till he was 6 month,even though officially the advice was meant to have changed then already...(ms is 4 now)...was much luckier with ys, had a fabulous HV with him, especially when I moved into the Melton Mowbray area, she used to be a NCT BFC and fed all her Kids for around 2 years...it was lovely not to have to swim against the tide

OP posts:

moondog · 26/01/2007 17:34

Who are these hps you speak of?
Are they actually people working in the hospital?

Health professionals maybe?

What kind exactly.

I am speechless. What an outrage.

Plibble · 26/01/2007 17:41

Gosh, I'm very shocked by that 3andnomore. I guess how b.f. is perceived must vary a lot from one area to another. It never occurred to me that anyone might object to me b.f., so I just got on with it. It must be very different if you live in an area where it is actively discouraged.

Original poster

3andnomore · 26/01/2007 18:07

They were a Health Visitor and her Assistent ( I think she was originally a traned Nursery Nurse)....
deifnately depends on the area....like I said, it didn't bother me all that muhc, but was hard at tiems to swim against the tide...but hohum...what doesn't kill us will make us stronger, right...

OP posts:

Original poster

3andnomore · 26/01/2007 18:23

Oh, can I just add, that of course in theory those Hv and assistent were rambling about all the breast is best stuff...but, obviously if you feel really feel like that about it, you are not gonna be able to offer much support, are ya!
And I think that is a big part of the problem...I don't think you have to breastfeed yourself to be supportive of it, but you have to feel positively about it!

OP posts:

moondog · 26/01/2007 18:27

A health visitor???
Jesus Christ,what hope is there for people when those they are brought up to trust are undermining women in this way.

What next?
GPs giving out vouchers for Macdonalds.

3,this is quite serious actually.
I would be peening a letter of complaint to the hospital.
How many other women's chances of breastfeeding has she/is she ruining I wonder (and will continue to ruin if not stopped in her tracks.)

Original poster

3andnomore · 26/01/2007 18:57

moon, I know what ya mean, but it's so long ago now and we are not in the area anymore...

OP posts:

DimpledThighs · 27/01/2007 10:20

3andnomore: no worries, I am heartened by people that are passionate about breastfeeding, balances out the Jermey Clarksons of the world .

the best advice a bf counsellor gave me when I was talking about bf in public was that if I saw someone else doing it just catch their eye and smile. Happened to me once and the endorsement of what I was doing went a long way!

The more positive people the more women encouraged rather than intimidated.

All good!

lissielou · 27/01/2007 10:32

after ds was born i was too weak to hold him let alone bf. i lost a lot of blood and nearly died. i was determined to bf and got vv upset about it, i hadnt even bought the bottles for ff coz it was not an option. on the 3rd day i gave up and asked for some formula for him (bear in mind what a wrench that must have been and what a failure u felt at that point) the mw that i asked looked me in the eye and said "dont you want this baby?" then went over to the other mw who came over and asked me if i wanted what was best for my child, didnt i care about infections etc why was i giving up? i was then moved out of the bf ward with a caesarean that i was to take 6m to recover from (i had a v nasty uterine infection) to another ward and the mw there was told this lady wont bf.

other friends have had simillar responses from mw/hv/gp. i accept that bfing mums do recieve a lot of grief for bfing in public, but i certainly felt bullied by the mws and hvs for my inability to bf

worleygig · 27/01/2007 10:47

when i had ds1 i was too ill to hold im my self for days, i literally couldnt move, so the mv would hold him to me to feed, i dont remember them asking meif thats what i wanted they just did it, (well they may have asked but i really dont remember much about any of itand it doesnt stand out if they did iyswim)
dps mum was horrified i bf and took it upon herself tp go out and buy formula so she could have a turn in feeding him!!
im still bf ds2 at 7 months and she wont come round to see us now while im still bf! i dont sit in front of her to bf so its not as if its embarrassing for her.

but my mum bf me for over a year so maybe its just that dp mum never had experince or ??

worleygig · 27/01/2007 10:53

i really think i must have the only nice hv in the uk after reading views of hv on mn!!
she bf her children for over 9 months and told me how she sat and cried one night when she was so tired she gave in and let her dh give a bottle of formula to give her a rest.
shes due to retire soon bless her and i drea which one we'll get in her place

Fillyjonk · 27/01/2007 11:15

oh ffs

we do seem to spend rather a lot of time as mums doing each other down, don't we?

we all do what we think is best for our families. we all work hard. Why the feck do we need to snipe and criticise all the time?

stumpydoglooksforwardtospring · 27/01/2007 12:30

i agree we should accept others' choices as long as there is plenty of info available. when i hear how people are treated when vulnerable it relly saddens me. i've bf five dcs for approx 2 yrs each and had v few probs. on the other hand, my lovely 21yrold dd has startted to ff her ds after 3months, and i never suggest she should do otherwise - it's her life and up to her. she is v knowledgeable but this obviously suits her and her ds best. why should anyone think they know best about someone else's life?
lissielou at your treatemnt in hospital. i know how bad it feels, i had 4 blood transfusions after a csection with dd3 and was v weak. i even looked like a different person for about a week. i think the transfusions caused a prob with my milk supply and my dd was given some ff while i began bf, with a lot of help. but the staff at my hospital were v kind and supportive.

moondog · 28/01/2007 11:03

Worley, am aghast at the actions of your mil.
What does your dp say about this???

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