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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

I hate breast feeding

43 replies

Littleelffriend · 08/06/2016 17:36

I'm sat here crying I feel like such a failure. I hate breast feeding. My 5 week old is combination fed, and I force myself to feed her and express. I feel so guilty but I hate it. Does anyone else feel like this?

OP posts:

TormundGiantsbabe · 08/06/2016 17:38

Just stop then.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 08/06/2016 17:39

Stop then, seriously in 16 years time you will not be able to pick out the BF kids in a line up. It doesn't matter how your baby is fed as long as it is.

TheLadyWithTheYellowHat · 08/06/2016 17:41

I felt exactly the same with ds, I carried on but hated every minute of it, I finally stopped at three months if you persevere as much as you can you've given your baby the best start in life so don't fret too much about giving up!

WineSpider · 08/06/2016 17:42

I hated it too so stopped at 6 weeks. Felt guilty at the time but when your 2 year old is happy and healthy it really doesn't matter!
About to have DC2 and will aim for a couple of weeks then gladly move onto bottles. No guilt this time!
Enjoy your baby and don't let the bf guilt / hate spoil things. You will be happier for it. 5 weeks is brilliant in any case.

thrillhouse · 08/06/2016 17:44

Nice sensitive responses there

OP, what is it about it you hate? Do you think it's something that you could work past?

If so then do you have support around you, do you think if you had help you might feel differently?

Ultimately if you do want to stop then there's nothing wrong with that. But I understand it's not as easy as "just stop".

What would you say to a friend in your position?

crayfish · 08/06/2016 17:44

Give yourself a deadline and if you still feel the same then stop, it's not compulsory. DS was a breast refuser so I exclusively expressed, I hated it but promised myself I could stop guilt-free if I made it to six weeks. I did and whilst it wasn't guilt free initially, I did feel immediately relieved.

Honestly, it's not for everyone and that's ok.

thrillhouse · 08/06/2016 17:44

X post, my first sentence there was at the first two responses

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 08/06/2016 17:45

Don't think of it as giving up rather just ' changing' the way you feed

crayfish · 08/06/2016 17:46

You're not a failure by the way. I felt the same so I understand, but you definitely are not a failure.

BikeRunSki · 08/06/2016 17:48

I hated it. With DS I started bottle feeding after a week (he'd lost 23% of his birth weight). With DD I persevered for 3 weeks. Bottle feeding my babies was one of my best ever parenting descisons. My school are now 4 and 7, talk, healthy and strong. You could not tell which of their class mates were breast or bottle fed.

There are many ways to nurture your child. Breastfeeding is just one of them. In a year's time it won't matter either way.

clarrrp · 08/06/2016 17:48

Just stop then.

This.

There are a lot of people who will put you under a huge amount of pressure to breastfeed and make you feel guilty if you don't - but millions of kids are formula fed every day and they are just fine, so don't worry about it.

If you don't like it then don't do it. Happy mum, happy baby.

DoItTooJulia · 08/06/2016 17:49

You've done amazingly to get to this stage, you know that right?

But DameD is right as usual it's just swapping one type of feeding for another! As longs he's fed, you're winning!

Congratulations on the baby!

DoItTooJulia · 08/06/2016 17:49

Waaay too many !!!

AliceInHinterland · 08/06/2016 17:50

They are only little babies for a short time - don't spend it making yourself miserable. I enjoy BF'ing and find it relatively easy and that's why I do it - not because I'm morally superior to anyone else. If I didn't like it, I would find it too much of a faff to bother with, and I have never wanted to bother expressing. I have endless respect for people who keep trying when it hurts/they have to express etc - and equal respect for people who know when it's not right for their family! Basically respect for anyone bringing up tiny babies because that stuff is hard.

Minimalteserbunny · 08/06/2016 17:52

for you poor you what has happened to make you so sad?

What do you hate about it? Is it painful? Did you always want to BF tell us more about how you got here ie Mixed feeding/expressing

It's vital you make an informed decision before stopping because once you stop you cannot go back, I would never make such a big decision when I'm sad and vulnerable OP

Original poster

Littleelffriend · 08/06/2016 18:49

Thanks it helps to know others feel the same. Dd was premature and we ended up in a mess combination feeding in hospital. She lost too much weight in the first couple of days. It doesn't hurt. Sometimes she struggles to get on. I think her mouth is too small. Every time she feeds she needs a top up of either expressed or formula so I don't see the point. I can't express enough to do this exclusive.

OP posts:

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 08/06/2016 18:52

I was in exactly the same position OP,ds was prem. Nearly killed me expressing. Wish I'd stopped sooner as was emotionally and physically wrecked x

pocketsized · 08/06/2016 18:55

I hated it too.the sensation made me feel panicky, nauseous and light headed. I dreadded DD waking uo to feed. I felt such a relief when I stopped.

I won't be breastfeeding the next one.

Original poster

Littleelffriend · 08/06/2016 18:58

It's just so tiring feeding expressing and making formula. I hate the sensation of bf. It doesn't give me the same feelings I think others get. I don't mind expressing but as I said I can't get the volume. It makes me feel crap

OP posts:

FabFiveFreddie · 08/06/2016 19:02

Just stop. Give the baby formula (you will not have any worry that she's not getting enough) and cut yourself some slack.

It's okay, honestly. For many babies and many mothers in many different situations, breast is NOT best, and we are lucky to have an alternative.

Congrats on the baby.

Babettescat · 08/06/2016 19:04

It's not accurate to say that breastfeeding "doesn't matter".

It is very very accurate though that you should not do anything that you don't wish to do. Never. Ever.

We can all support the OP by stressing point 2 above without resorting to point 1 - which is untrue and unnecessary.

Original poster

Littleelffriend · 08/06/2016 19:10

I think I've just had a shitty day,thanks for all the supportive responses x

OP posts:

thrillhouse · 08/06/2016 19:21

Minimal that's not strictly true, you can relactate (though it would take some work).

to you OP.

TormundGiantsbabe · 08/06/2016 19:51

I was being supportive. Being told it was ok to stop was ridiculously important to me when I just couldn't get the hang of bf dc. I felt like the weight of the guilt at wanting desperately to stop was crushing me and i couldn't stop because I would be a Bad Mum.

I'm still feeding dc2 at 19 months because we had a completely different journey and experience. I took eachfeed one at a time, and I never felt the need to wish I could stop. So IME if you really want to stop, then just stop. It's ok.

Original poster

Littleelffriend · 08/06/2016 20:12

Tormundgiantsbabe that's exactly how I feel. I want someone to tell me it's ok to stop, but I don't know who if you know what I mean.

OP posts:

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