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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Is there actually anything wrong with formula feeding?!

155 replies

taffy101 · 12/01/2007 21:01

Don't get me wrong, I am an avid breast feeder (fed dd till 1 and currently feeding ds), but the more I hear about people who bottle feed that their babies sleep through straight away and gain loads of weight, it makes me wonder. I believe WHO have even brought out new weight charts for bf babies, which basically puts their average weight lower than a bottle fed baby's.

I do realise all the benefits of breast feeding but once baby has all vital antibodies and mum+baby are nicely bonded, if formula milk makes for a more contented baby why has it become so demonised?

OP posts:
NotQuiteCockney · 12/01/2007 22:50

God knows, oranges. But ... you know ... it's a bit, well, foreign. What if the curry got into the baby and made it foreign?

Seriously, yes, to bf, you generally have to either be a SAHM, or work and express. That would be how it works.

chocolatekimmy · 12/01/2007 22:53

Hercules1 you say "The point is noone is saying "breast is best" because for a lot of people it isnt. That saying is outdated and shouldnt beused as it's not true"

Surely breast is best for the baby i.e.: the most important person. I think you are talking about the mothers here mainly and no it isn't always best for them (aside from the health benefits such as reduction in certain types of cancer etc) and yes formula is a good alternative in some cases.

I don't agree that the saying is outdated and shouldn't be used as its not true.

lissielou · 12/01/2007 22:56

yes, its true, but ime bf mothers seem so superior. in the same way that sahms apologise for not running conglomorates more ff women end up explaining shamefaced why they dont bf

Tortington · 12/01/2007 22:57

as they should

lissielou · 12/01/2007 22:58

sorry, just read that and didnt mean the 1st bit how it sounded. im just saying that ime ff mums are made to feel bad for not bf

hercules1 · 12/01/2007 22:58

If you smoke, it is better to breastfeed and smoke (not at the same time) than to formula feed. Sometimes you have to weigh it up with the facts.

NotQuiteCockney · 12/01/2007 22:59

chocolatekimmy, there's actually a very good argument against "breast is best".

We know we don't always do what's best for our kids. We do what's ok. We do the best we can, sure, but we know that the best isn't always necessary.

Actually, breast isn't best, it's normal. Nobody says "not smoking is best". We see not smoking as normal.

hercules1 · 12/01/2007 23:00

So if a woman is depressed, unhappy, not enjoying her baby purely because she hates breastfeeding that is still best? It is best for my son never to eat crap, not to watch tv and so on but I let him in moderation despite it not being the 'best'.

lissielou · 12/01/2007 23:01

or breast is NATURAL. big difference

hercules1 · 12/01/2007 23:01

notquitecockney - you've explained it in the way I was trying to.

oranges · 12/01/2007 23:02

I like the idea of babies becoming 'foreign' through breastmilk. Can we breed lots of Thai babies by eating lots of lemon grass and coconut milk please?

NotQuiteCockney · 12/01/2007 23:04

[scowls at oranges] You're not getting the point! Foreign is bad! Suspect! Weird!

Seriously, I think some people do lump all foreign food together, my ILs never seem to have garlic in the house.

Hmm, maybe they're vampires.

chocolatekimmy · 12/01/2007 23:04

I do think there is a perception that the saying 'breast is best' is a bit patronising but at the end of the day surely it must be best for the baby in terms of nutrition (though I am sure there are medical reasons that mean it isn't in some cases)?

Yes I agree it is normal and that we don't always do the best for our children.

hercules1 · 12/01/2007 23:04

What about mixed race kids? Should I have half a curry on one side of my plate and egg and chips on the other

lissielou · 12/01/2007 23:04

im sorry, im torn on this argument. i would have LOVED to bf ds, but i couldnt. and the after-affects have been awful. it was the final straw iykwim. if i have anither lo i would love to bf but if i cant the big prob is the attitudes toward ff mums, like it or not ff mums are seperated from bf mums, they are looked at by the mw as if they are feeding their babas gin

oranges · 12/01/2007 23:05

Look, breastmilk is the normal way to feed babies, as NQC said. BUT, there are reasons a mother cannot or does not want to feed, so she gives formula. Which is not optimal in terms of nutrition, but fine when offset against the problems she has with breastfeeding. Its like parenting in general - we do the best we can for our children, and there is no point feeling guilty about whether we could have done more, if only we had more money, stamina, patience, support etc.

NotQuiteCockney · 12/01/2007 23:06

No, hercules, just have steak and chips. Don't encourage any sign of foreignness in your children?

hercules1 · 12/01/2007 23:06

Yes, nutritionally it's what is natural rather than best though. Like Notquitecockney explained. You dont say it's healthier not to smoke as we dont naturally smoke.

WHat is actually best for a baby is a happy mother.

Aloha · 12/01/2007 23:07

Taffy, the 'vital antibodies' don't come in one single dose in the first week, they keep on coming, and changing to suit the baby depending on the health, age etc. The milk has a personal relationship with your baby, which I think is amazing.
Formula feeding has risks for the baby and for you. Sometimes when you weigh up the risks and benefits formula comes out on top. For example, you may have some retained placenta so literally do not make milk, or you may be on strong chemo or other immunosuppressant drugs that would damage the baby. In those cases, of course formula is best. In most cases though, it isn't.
And I think sleeping has almost nothing at all to do with what babies eat.

NotQuiteCockney · 12/01/2007 23:08

Nobody says everyone has to breastfeed, and I don't know why on earth anyone spends their time hassling people for formula feeding - what does that help?

That being said, yeah, I don't really get the guilt thing. DS1 had some formula in his early days, and had I known more, I could totally have avoided it, but I did what I could with the knowledge and situation I had, so what's to feel guilty about? (Similarly, I would have killed to have a normal birth with either DS. I had two CSes. I wish it had been different, but I don't feel guilty.)

oranges · 12/01/2007 23:09

Well, )scowling back at NQC) my foreign mother and mother -in-law fought over whether I should be given shark to eat after ds was born. MIL said it was good for breastfeeding, and my mother said it can poison breastmilk. I didn't have any and ds ended up losing too much weight and going into hospital, where he was given formula till he learnt to bf. Where does that leave me?

hercules1 · 12/01/2007 23:09

But if you read some threads here you'll see that many breastfeeding mums say the opposite. I was frowned upon in hospital for not giving my hungry baby formula. It honestly works both ways.

DH and I could afford to send our kids to private school if we sacrificed a lot and worked longer hours but we chose not to. Maybe our kids will do better academically if we pay but you weigh it up and choose what's best for everyone.

Aloha · 12/01/2007 23:10

The day that Channel 5 makes freakshow documentaries about people who feed their babies by a bottle is the say I buy all this 'formula feeding is demonised' nonsense. Oh, yes, and the day that male comedians make women who bottlefeed the butt of mysoginistic jokes.

Aloha · 12/01/2007 23:10

misogynistic.

NotQuiteCockney · 12/01/2007 23:11

Hopelessly foreign, oranges!

How on earth would shark poison breastmilk? (Oh, I guess there's a thing with mercury maybe? As it's a top-level predator fish? But you'd have to live on it, really.)

The ex of the person that we both know was startled to find out I'd met someone who knew him. Apparently he's dating a British(ish) girl now.