Is breastfeeding always hard?

[Newmrs22]

I'm only 20 weeks pregnant so still have a while to go , but I've been thinking about feeding and would really like to breastfeed when the baby arrives for lots of reasons. I'm slightly concerned though because no one I know has managed it, so can't give me real life support, and I've been reading threads here and there seem to be lots of different problems. Does anyone find it 'easy' or is it always a struggle at first? Is there anything you recommend to prepare? Reading etc? Or do you just have to wait and see?

I think also bear in mind that BFing isn't just about the mother, but the child too. So dcs1&3 have been a dream to BF. Really straightforward, open mouth, latch, feed. Usual fannying about with a bit of wind, cluster feeding, posseting, but generally lovely bonding wonderful experiences.

Dc2 was a nightmare. He had a tie and vomited everywhere all the time. His nick name was Vomitron.

So it can be different with each child. If it doesn't work out this time don't despair. It may be different with a different child.

Great advice here. I'd agree with arming yourself with as much info as possible; remembering that the most important thing to your baby is a happy mother - so read widely, chat to people, listen to their experiences but ultimately make decisions based on what is right for you and your family. And don't beat yourself up about whatever you decide.

Good luck OP.

I found a lot about parenting my babies difficult but bf-ing was not one of them. Both extended bf-ing. Got it right away, no pain whatsoever. I know that is not the case for a lot of mothers and so don't go on about it.

PS, I have small breasts and (dh tells me) prominent nipples. I wonder whether that helps, kinda like X marks the spot which is easy for babies to get their latch around.

I found it really easy. The first couple of days was a bit difficult but afterwards a breeze.

I was told to apply lanolin to my nipples for the last month of pregnancy to prevent cracking and never had any problem with cracking as a result.

No women in my family breast feed so breastfeeding wasn't something I was exposed to but it was something I wanted to do. I did a lot of research, I read books, read kellymom, mumsnet etc. I watched YouTube videos (nhs do some good short videos). I also attended a breastfeeding workshop at my hospital which my DP attended.

My DP was very pro breastfeeding which helped massively as he also researched breastfeeding and helped me so much in the beginning such as reminding me about what we'd learned about latching, understanding cluster feeding and practical things like doing all the cooking and cleaning for the first few weeks.

My nipples were sore for the first couple of weeks, lanisoh helped a lot and I've had mastitis and nipple blisters but overall I didn't find breastfeeding very difficult by 3 weeks it was fine. My dd is 8 months now and I still exclusively breastfed (although I use cows milk for porridge as I'm crap at expressing).

I'd say knowledge is the key. I was aware of cluster feeding so I knew it was normal that my dd was feeding for hours, sleeping for 20 minutes then feeding for hours again. I knew it was normal that babies lose weight initially after birth. I researched tongue tie. Read up about co-sleeping, I would have struggled with the exhaustion of breastfeeding if I hadn't co-slept.

When my dd was tiny I met a lady who had a toddler, who was rather taken by my dd and was very sad that she was unsuccessful with breastfeeding. It turned out that her Mil had repeatedly told her that she obviously wasn't producing enough milk as he kept crying and feed for hours. Clearly I wasn't there so can't say for certain but it sounded like normal cluster feeding to me, I didn't have the heart to say anything to her as she was so sad about it.

DS came out having read the breastfeeding manual. So it was latch on and off we go. My boobs obliged by producing copious amounts of milk. So no, not always hard.

For me, what's hard is that DS will not take a bottle and so I haven't had more than 3 hours sleep in one go since he was born. I can't go get my hair done or go to the cinema/ meal out etc as he can't be left for more than 2 hours as he needs to feed. I've tried,but the one time he went out with just dad and a bottle he screamed and screamed until he was sick and still refused the bottle.

I don't want to be the voice of doom & gloom, but I don't think anyone/anything can really prepare you for it. DH & I read up loads, watched tutorials, attended BF classes (as part of antenatal classes) & I still found it a struggle.

There are going to be people who find it really hard (and maybe stop), and those who find it really easy - I don't think there is much you can do in advance to determine which camp you're going to be in. So my advice would ultimately be to assume nothing, and try everything!

DD is now 8weeks old and feeding fine (latched on right now - why else would I be awake at this time?!), but the first few weeks were really tough. We tried about a million different positions but eventually found one that worked for both of us. We had a lot of support from midwives & health visitor, plus the NCT run breastfeeding support sessions which were my saviour. I would recommend researching a few local groups (as suggested by PP), so when it comes to it you can get as many people to advise/show/help you as possible - and hopefully one will click.

Good luck!

I was absolutely determined to do it, but found the first 6 weeks of feeding DC1 very hard, and wanted to give up many, many times. But I watched videos beforehand and drove out in the snow with DH to go to breastfeeding groups (when DC1 was literally days old), when he was on parental leave. I learnt that a lot of what I was struggling with was normal, which made it seem worth persevering. OK, I wasn't having an unnaturally hard time (cluster feeding, for example) - this was part and parcel.

Feeding DC2 was 'easy', off the cuff. Night time feeds, and being basically the sole person that could meaningfully comfort them in the early days was very tough at times, though.

Good luck.

I will just add that my breastfed babies slept 4 hour stretches very early (like 3 weeks in) and then slept through (9-7 with one feed around midnight) from about 8 weeks. I know lots of friends whose babies did similar - it's not necessarily the case that BF babies wake up more than FF babies.

Got it right away, no pain whatsoever. I know that is not the case for a lot of mothers and so don't go on about it.

But it IS the case for lots of mothers - as documented by this thread!
It is SUCH a shame that women feel they can't tell the truth about their experience of breastfeeding. It would seem so much more normal and achievable to expectant mothers if more people spoke up about their positive experiences.

Has anyone mentioned the oxytocin released by bf'ing? It's like taken an instant sleepy drug. (obviously the lack of sleep doesn't help)! If you're bottle feeding you have to stay awake to make sure you don't drop the bottle. If you're bf'ing you can fall asleep. (after making sure the baby is secure!)

I bf mine easily and I think the key was having lots of support in the first couple of days. Every time I needed to feed dd I buzzed for someone to come and advise with our latch/technique. I'm sure I was considered a complete nuisance by every midwife on the ward but I didn't care and I'm now so pleased that I did it. I bf dd1 until 14mo and dd2 until 2.5yo.

I found it very straightforward with both of mine. No pain at any stage even day one. I had lots of available support offered (that I didn't really have to use) and I had a relaxing first few days after birth (being at home helped with that probably) and a mum who had bf so just smiled and brought me more drinks/food when I said "this baby has fed for hours is this normal???" So that all helped a lot, probably, and some of it was luck. I know lots of people who found it hard at first, and several who stopped, but also a handful who found it as easy as I did.

I found going back to work the main struggle with both of mine, but that was a year down the line!

I als o had one exclusively breastfed baby who slept excellently (11 hours a night) from early on and another one who slept ok till 4 months then NEVER SLEPT AGAIN till 16 months. I think it helped with the second to know it wasn't an inevitable breastfeeding problem, the sleep, as the first had slept so well.