Is breastfeeding always hard?

[Newmrs22]

I'm only 20 weeks pregnant so still have a while to go , but I've been thinking about feeding and would really like to breastfeed when the baby arrives for lots of reasons. I'm slightly concerned though because no one I know has managed it, so can't give me real life support, and I've been reading threads here and there seem to be lots of different problems. Does anyone find it 'easy' or is it always a struggle at first? Is there anything you recommend to prepare? Reading etc? Or do you just have to wait and see?

^ And what oldlandbooth says too. Formula is^ fine. Babies being fed is the main thing. DC1 had formula, DC2 never did, they're both healthy gorgeous children.

My first was in SCBU and had always just been bottle fed when I went to feed her -despite a large notice on the crib saying "breast fed baby - fetch mum"! Despite the sporadic start breast feeding was no problem at all and I genuinely could not understand why anyone would choose any other way to feed.

DD2 was more difficult. She wasn't particularly hungry but it all just seemed so painful. It wasn't the latching on, or the suction, just the whole experience was a drain . If I hadn't had the first experience I would have given up much sooner. I had to stop at 5 months because I was ill and became dangerously underweight (unrelated to breastfeeding). The whole bottle/formula/sterilising thing was such a faff though.

If you can get it to work it is great. No disaster if not.

Like pretty much every other thing to do with the human body, it may work excellently well for you and your baby, you may have difficulties which you can overcome or you can find yourself in a situation where is it not possible to breastfeed only or to breastfeed at all. The only way to know is if you try.

Many things can improve with time as your body gets used to it and as your baby grows and has bigger mouth/more strength etc. but it is important to be aware that the demonising of formula is not at all helpful. There are very serious health implications of your baby does not take in enough calories so I would be wary of those who take very strong views against it in all circumstances. Combo feeding or pumped bottle feeding may be the answer for you temporarily or as an ongoing part of your baby's intake. I find the British parenting websites are obsessed with exclusive BF/not a drop of formula, to an unhealthy and unhelpful degree.

All things being equal, breast is best but sometimes all else is not equal and other factors need to be considered. I very much hope you and your baby get lucky and find breast feeding easy and have no difficulties, or no difficulties that cannot be overcome with the various supports out there. But as your own experience from friends and family shows, it is not always the case. If you do hit difficulties, try not to have an 'all or nothing' mindset but look at everything in context and most importantly keep the baby fed, however that might be.

I found it easy, even though mine was in nicu for 3 weeks. (my compensation for the awful colicy weeks that followed....)
Tips
-do your research so you know about cluster feeding, tongue tie, lansinoh, latching, mastitis. Having knowledge prior really helped my confidence
-don't panic. If baby has plenty of wet and dirty nappies she's doing ok

• make sure you drink LOTS of water and eat well. I had to do about 5 pints a day or I got stomach problems!

-accept you won't be doing much housework for the first six months. Startbatch cooking and filling your freezer ! Good luck. We are still going at 12 months and its a great joy to us

I did a ton of reading as I was being induced at 37 weeks & really wanted to breastfeed. We're still going at year which is good as he has CMPA.

Most things I read was that it can take up to 8 weeks to get your supply established & get used to breastfeeding.

Your nipples will be sore in the beginning no matter what the midwife says, my friends warned me of this.

I saw a lactation consultant in hospital & midwives checked his latch which really helped me.

Also looking at different positions, my friend took her pregnant friend to a breastfeeding clinic before she gave birth & said she found it really helpful if that's an idea for you?

Lanisoh & breast pads are your friends.

Cluster feeding is a massive shock & sometimes you're just like what?
He fed for 7 hours one day at 8 weeks old so I took him to Asda just to give my boobs a break & someone said "Aww baby!"
Me - "What baby?"
He was there in front of me just so out of it from cluster feeding.

When cluster feeding get everything to hand, I had Netflix & channel 4 stuff, 2 litre bottles filled with squash & fruit, biscuits, chocolate, just everything.

& definitely drink loads of water as in the beginning your mouth goes so dry.

Good luck! Lots of skin to skin in the beginning helped us too, on the second day after birth my milk came in but I know it varies.

Also breastfed babies can go days without pooing. I didn't know this & finding it out definitely helped.

No it isn't always hard. For example I've never ever known what "pain" while breastfeeding means. As in I have no idea of it. But I equally there are the opposite instances too for others.

Both ds and I found it easy. I had read so many bad experiences that I was prepared to fail so it came as a lively surprise when he wriggled across my chest and latched on.

I had painful nipples at the start of each feed for up to two weeks, no problems just them getting used to the sudden constant latch!

The hardest part I found was that I had NO IDEA how relentless it would be in the first weeks. I don't think it's like that for everyone but I struggled to do anything at all for a couple of months. Though I do myself a disservice as after just under three weeks post C section I was cooking the evening meal, washing up and dealing with two ponies each day.

I dont tend to tell people just how easy I found it for fear of sounding like a smug bitch to those who have struggled.

And this is the problem. This is why British society sees breastfeeding as difficult and painful and abnormal.
Most women who truly want to breastfeed and prep accordingly do manage to. But you're not allowed to say it because it's seen as 'smug' and looking down on mothers who FF.

All you ever hear are the horror stories, which are rare and sometimes embellished, but because of this, most people have the impression the OP does - that breastfeeding is painful and problematic.

It's really sad.

Gosh wellerr how would you know what stories are embellished? I love nursing and am doing well with it but I wouldn't dare to suggest or think that my fellow mum who finds it hard is embellishing things

No, it's not.

FWIW DS was tricky to start with, DD wasn't, and both cluster fed in the evenings. But I really didn't want the hassle of bottles, sterilisers and formula so I stuck with it and fed both into toddlerhood.

Breastfeeding antenatal classes were really helpful IME.

I think you've got to want to do it! The first few weeks were tough, my nipples got sore and cracked even though all was fine with my DDs latch.

I did want to though so persevered through the first two weeks of soreness and now love it. It's just so convenient!

Key things for me were lots of Lanisoh and keep trying different positions. It means your nipples aren't being pulled in the same direction and it gave mine a chance to heal. Laid back breastfeeding was the best thing I tried in the early days - we turned the corner then and within two weeks of giving birth it was fine.

DS is 2 weeks old. I've not found it hard but I grew up watching my mum breastfeed so tbh it never occurred to me it was something anyone considered tricky. Genuinely didn't know people struggled with it.

Touch wood!!

I'm a peer supporter and I have helped many women who have decided to move to FF. Which I have no issue with, I'll support a mother in whatever she chooses.
But I do then hear the same woman telling stories of how she had to stop because of when I know that that woman just moved to FF because she felt more comfortable knowing how much baby had had/DH feeding baby etc.
But as I said up thread - I don't say this judgementally. I'm not branding these women as awful liars etc - I judge the society that heaps so much guilt on women that they feel they need to claim medical reasons rather than 'that's what I chose.' It's really sad.
But I'm really not judging these mothers.

I think you've got to want to do it!

This is very often key mini

Some really good advice here. Because I know of a significant minority of others irl who have struggled, I have found that in some circles, admitting I found it easy would have been a bit inconsiderate. But since we're on the Internet... I have found feeding an absolute joy and very very easy! Formula feeding would have been much more of a faff for me and I am very grateful for having had such a smooth ride of it. Many people do find it very easy and enjoyable!

I dont tend to tell people just how easy I found it for fear of sounding like a smug bitch to those who have struggled.

This! I have had SUCH an easy time of it, I love love love breastfeeding (my 5-month old is on the boob in his sleep as I type) and I hope to be doing it for a long while. I was all prepared to have lots of difficulty to begin with so I read up lots (The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding is GREAT), but after the first couple of weeks I lost my tube of Landinoh under the bed and forgot about it, no mastitis, no thrush, no difficulty whatsoever, right from the first day. And this after an EMCS too.

I think it's largely just the luck of the draw - but I do think it helps keep your confidence up if you've read beforehand about what's normal. Good luck!

I loved bfing and was really sad to stop in the end (dd self weaned at about a year) the first few weeks were tricky but that was due to having had an emcs and dd not being well in scbu. However once we got going I loved it and found it pretty easy as well as convenient.

I found a bfing support group really helpful.

Disclaimer: have not read whole thread
In my experience though (3dc to 2yrs+)

1. Hard until your nipples have toughened up. In my case takes up to a fortnight.
2. Waiting for milk to come in also a bit of a bugger. In my case took up to five days, still making colustrum.
3. You need to per purchase Lansinoh. Smother it on between feeds and you shouldn't end up with cracked bleeding nipples. It is fantastic stuff.
4. You should aim for as long as you can in bed with your baby trying to avoid word babymoon but seriously, sod guests, sod family, sod housework, just lay down in bed with someone else providing the
5. Talking of which Breastfeeding tea...teabags with fenugreek in, are good for promoting lactation/aiding supply. As is oats/porridge/oatmeal biccies.
6. Sleep/power nap when baby sleeps as long and often as you can as cluster feeding is a bitch. Otherwise as someone on here said once, you will end up so sodding sleep deprived you end up breastfeeding the duvet
7. Snacks (nuts, biccies, grapes) and bedside table with lots of fluids on (lots of water).
8. Body pillow or breastfeeding pillow.
9. Introduce a bottle by six weeks if you are planning to express or do mixed feeding or the buck will stop with you.

10. It can feel relentless, you can feel 'touched out', it is bloody convenient but it can be knackering: Do what you want to do. Whilst I bf all three to toddlerdom, I used aptamil instant bottles on five occasions when I was very sick, when I was away one evening and when one dc's blood glucose was very low. Did not affect my supply or my kids.

pre purchase

I mixed fed from the start (reflux baby needed meds in special formula) but have continued breastfeeding despite mastitis (twice) and thrush x 3. I'm currently feeding my son whilst I'm suffering from stomach flu and a chest infection.

Breastfeeding was agony at first but now it's painless and lovely. Babies get better at it too.

Of course you have to want to do it - otherwise if you do not want to do it, don't do it. But lots of times, just wanting isn't enough.

OP and others, one big thing I forgot to mention is self-care especially in the cluster feeding /boosting supply phase. I followed all the advice of keeping baby on boob as long as they wanted for hours at a time. It can all sound very romantic when people speak of staying on the sofa or bedding down in bed for hours just feeding with baby but I did all that to the point of stupidity, as advised by all those who 'know' breast feeding and at less than three weeks in, I ended up in hospital from deep vein thrombosis. You are more prone to them post-partum and the only causative link my doctors could find was sitting under my baby feeding for a long stretch. So while this is obviously an extreme and rare occurrence, I just wanted to remind you that all advice should be taken with an eye to the broader picture.

Nope I found it super easy, my son was latched on and feeding within minutes of being born, the then fed 6 times in the6 hours I was in hospital with him then we were released home and I had not a single issue feeding him.

I never found it hard, or painful etc.

please listen to all those telling you that it CAN be easy- and those of us who found that tend to keep quiet about it
even if you struggle for a few weeks, consider it an investment of time and energy, once you both get the hang of it it is so much easier than messing around with bottles
yes, you may still have a few hiccups, just as with any other bodily process it may be a it tricky sometimes
one of the things that helped me when I was struggling a bit with the first baby was to think, how would our species have survived if this didn't work? and now my body has done this amazing thing, grown a baby, making milk surely can't be a problem!
I think you are right to anticipate issues with well meaning relatives, I would suggest finding some leaflets or whatever that are aimed at grandparents and then just practise nodding and smiling

I breastfed my three for at least 2 years each. It was so easy and natural, no problems at all. The one time I had painful nipples it was because of thrush, and a cream from the pharmacy sorted it out quickly once I figured out what the problem was.