Should we Breastfeed or bottle feed ?

[sharoz]

There is so much conflicting advice and wondered what all your experiences are and the pro and cons of each for the baby and for us ?

I breastfeed my 16 week old DD and on the whole it's the right thing for us. There are occasions though when I'm up again alone in the middle of the night with a baby yanking at my nipple and scratching around my chest that I completely understand why some people choose to ff. Bf can be fucking hard work, mentally and physically.

Having said that, I was back in my pre pregnancy jeans 5 weeks after the birth

I did use formula in the first week as DD wouldn't latch on and expressing colostrum is soul destroying especially when your husband squirts it on the floor rather than into the baby and I felt hideously guilty about it.

I would never judge anyone on their decision to do either. If bf works for you then great, but if it doesn't or you choose not to, then go for it!

Breastfeeding isn't necessarily "better". It's the norm. It is how a baby is meant to be fed. Each mother makes the right milk for her baby. Formula feeding is a perfectly adequate substitute should you not want to or not be able to breastfeed. However, it introduces a level of risk.

So breastfeeding is the norm and after that there's a spectrum of options which each introduces a higher risk of negative outcomes. Both expressing and donor milk come before formula on this spectrum.

However, feeding a baby is about an individual relationship and the peculiarities of that situation. Right in general population terms isn't necessarily right or possible for the individual.

Well ime there is no conflicting advice - most people I know try to breastfeed and only move to formula if it doesn't work out (Or if there are underlying reasons why they couldn't bf from the start). The advantages of bf are well known so I won't repeat them, but formula is a great backup. I don't think anyone would argue that it is better than bf, but it is definitely better than the baby not being fed at all!

Saying that, I can see the benefit of mixed feeding so you can have a break from feeding (I say this while stuck underneath an ebf cluster feeding 7 week old).

I breastfed at the beginning, but leaky boobs, soaking bras, being completely dependant on me, DH wanting to help with night feeds and couldn't, not knowing how much they had so you worry a cry an hour later is hunger just did my head in to be honest.

All my friends had exclusively breastfed their babies and they were often ill with coughs, colds, chest infections, bugs and I just thought the antibody and immune system pros isn't true in my experience.

So I switched to formula and it was the best decision I ever made. DH helped, mum helped, friends helped, loved feeding him and I had an extra nap, I could see DS drink 8oz and know he definitely wasn't hungry an hour later so it was great to check one thing of the list. I just really felt in control and able to handle having a newborn when I switched to formula feeding.

And you just put the 4/5 bottles in the steriliser overnight, bit of water, turn it on, it isn't difficult, just like loading a dishwasher. (Well actually that was DH's job when he got in from work so no work at all really) so the next day you just take the bottle and powder, go out for lunch and your sorted, it's really easy! I found that so much easier than, nursing bras, tops that unbuttoned, pads for the leaky milk, overflow cups as so much came out, trying to latch on then half hour later they cry and you don't know if they had 1oz or 5?!

I found formula brilliant and have a very healthy happy DS. Good luck with your decision OP.

I'm pregnant with number 9 baby, I have bottle fed my first 4 and then breast fed my last 4, the breast feeding is so much easier, no messing with bottles, making the bottles, sterilising then and the cost, with breast it's all ready and perfectly made for your baby, the correct temp and no worry of bacteria, it's bloody hard for the first few weeks and will seem it's all baby wants to do but once you've got through the pain and got into a routine it is heaven, like I say having done both and knowing the pros and cons of both I will choose breast over bottle and I am for my baby I am pregnant with now, but I will say with breast feeding you really need to want to do it and have a good support network and a good breast feeding adviser is a god send during the first few weeks, good luck either way

Another thing I would also like to point out is that all my babies weather bottle or breast fed have slept through from 6 weeks old (11pm-6:30am) so i have found that breast fed babies don't sleep isn't always true

Breastfeeding is great for numerous reasons but I wish I had persevered with regular expressed bottles from 6 weeks as at 4 months I'm the only person who can feed my son and he still feeds loads. I have no leisure time without him whatsoever! He sometimes takes bottles but not predictably enough that I can have half a beer, or a nap, or leave the house alone! I would definitely still do it but with hindsight I wish I had got him more used to expressed bottles earlier. Good luck whatever you choose!

Sharoz - come back and respond :)

Breastfeeding can be tough for the first 4-6 weeks but for me it was a breeze after that. We carried on until DS was 2.5 years old without any issues. I found that I was much more relaxed than first time around when I bottle fed DS1 as there was no prep, less to pack in the changing bag etc.

I appreciate that it isn't as simple as that for some but as we tend to hear a lot of horror stories about bf I just wanted to say tgat it can and does go smoothly.

There's nothing conflicting about the advice - breast is best. Best for the baby, and best for you.
So imo all new mothers should go into it intending to breastfeed, and then if you run into serious problems - there's always formula as a back up.

Hmm, op where are you ? .......

I did both!
Started with breastfeeding at birth, but I had a really rough time! DD was born early and struggled to latch on properly, resulting in some really painful nipple blisters! Until you have your baby you have no idea just how frequently a newborn baby breast feeds!! I know I didn't have a clue! We stuck it out for 3 or 4 weeks, because I really wanted to give her the best start, but I was miserable with it, and DD wasn't a very happy baby at all.
I then switched to expressed breastmilk in a bottle. DD seemed way happier sucking on a bottle teat than on my nipples! Expressing takes up a lot of time, and you have to do it a lot to maintain your supply.
After a couple of months of expressing, I switched to formula, as my milk supply started to dwindle. But DD is just as happy with formula! She guzzles it down exactly the same as she did with expressed breastmilk.
The washing and sterilising isn't really that much of a bother, and as for having it when your out and about, it's pretty simple. If it was a short day out, I just made up enough bottles, flash-cooled them under the running tap, and bought some of those mini cool bags with the ice packs and warmed them up as I needed them. Or if it was a long day out, I would take empty bottles and buy pre-mixed formula.
Nowadays DD is eating 3 meals a day, and only has bottles first thing in the morning, mid morning, mid afternoon and before bed, so we are usually home anyway!
Whatever you choose, your baby is eating! So that's the main thing. You can only do whatever makes both you and your baby happy

thecatsmeow thanks, it's good to hear of someone in the same situation.

Currently bf 5.5month old son. I always planned/wanted to and he knew what he was doing so that's what we did. I thought it was preferable to getting up and making bottles lazy

However, i had no idea how demanding the first 4-6 weeks would be. But it does get better and now its a breeze. So easy, convenient. Free.

Both me and DS have been as healthy as you could be 1(both had one small cold each) when normally i suffer very badly with colds.

Downside - sore nipples for a week or so. Not getting my arse into gear to express/offer a bottle meaning now he won't take one. Saying that i have had sod all help from my husband and just really struggled to find time to express. If you have plenty of support give bf a try. It IS best. But express and offer a daily bottle from 6weeks.

Breastfeeding was well worth the initial hassle for us :)

The same thing can be a pro to one person and a con to someone else. I have friends who ff and really liked knowing how much the baby had had. But for me, counting ounces like that would have led me into an obsessive anxiety spiral; I much preferred to not know the amount drunk every day so long as the baby was putting on weight fine.

Everyone who breastfed can I ask how you got your child to take the breast? Mine won't latch on he just screams at it until I give in and give him a bottle he has done this since he came out of hospital. I still have some milk and try to get him to take it but he won't latch. If he does it's only for a couple of seconds before he stops and screams.

I have no problem with ff but I would have liked to do both.

Total honest answer, which ever you feel is best for you and baby.

If breastfeeding doesn't work, do not be made to feel guilty that you bottle feed. It happens.

If you decide to bottle feed again don't feel guilty. When people comment (and they will, I still get grief 6 years later). It's your choice.

If you breastfeed, then that's cool, there are lots of support if you do.

But the most important is that it's your choice. You do what you feel comfortable and right for you.

TCM honest answer a midwife put the two of us together and baby just carried on (thankfully). Can you get a bf advisor to visit you and help?

kinky in hospital some midwives looked at his latch and said it was good but he wouldn't keep it, kept coming off after 3 seconds. I did think about going to a bf support group but my baby is 5 months so I worry it'll be too late.

Breastfeeding is tricky and painful to begin with but dead easy afterwards. There's no prep, no fuss, no schedules. At night you barely have to open your eyes to pop them on and they just get on with it. I find my time feeding my baby so snugly and close. It's really special. And the health benefits are just enormous. Plus it's free and helps you lose weight! Go for it, it's great for baby and you'll feel really proud of yourself when you look at the baby and know you are literally keeping them alive!

TCM we didn't really have any latching issues but could you perhaps try some nipples shields to give baby the feel of a bottle teat. If it works then you could later try without the shields.

Armani and Catsmeow, me too! NICU baby who was IV and then NG fed. My milk never even happened (maybe due to the stress). The choice wasn't mine and I wasn't bothered. 3 months on and I have a very healthy, happy, responsive, strong, alert, babbling infant.

Breast milk is best but formula milk is great too.

TCM it's really hard to describe how to latch a baby on, is there a breastfeeding support group near you, where someone can show you?

If not then look at the advice here: www.mumsnet.com/babies/latching-on-tips-for-breastfeeding

TCM - I was lucky. He just did it himself from the start. Screams at bottle though!