jars and sachets - MIL is disgusted

[Murphyslaw21]

Bit of a back story...

My house we bought before baby is very old, found out I was pregnant so did bedrooms, and living room. We have no heating or water, having run out of money we have had to put kitchen old hold.

House is warmed by a wood burner. Now my kitchen is disgusting. Mould, damp no water (outside tap only). We only use it as necessary. Pots and pans are washed in bucket with kettle water. Therefore I only give baby jars and sachets. Now I spend a fortune she has mango breakfast, porridge, roast dinners all fruit and veg. I wash her pots and sterilise them. I would not think of risking cooking as I'm not convinced pots and utensils are clean enough. We won't be doing kitchen until next year as we have to put in heating in this year. We don't have a dishwasher as no space for one.

My MIL has raised concerns and insults that it's because I can't be bothered to cook and that the jars are full of preservatives and additives. But I read them and they are 100% organic with nothing added. I'm so cross.

I give baby 3 good meals a day. I would love to cook but it's an awful kitchen. When we go out with her and I pull out a packet I get rolling eyes and sarcastic comments. The other day I said well buy me a kitchen then. And she moaned that I spent the money on doing bedrooms first. But my logic was baby needs a nice clean bedroom . We had been sleeping for six months on an air bed. Not fun whilst heavily pregnant.

I'm so angry but I'm wondering if the jars and sachets are bad.

You will be amazed what you can do in a slow cooker! If you're on FB come and join the group 'Slow Cooker recipes for the opinionated', I promise you will not be judged and will get lots of fab ideas for slow cooker and halogen.

I have been there - I prioritised other rooms over a kitchen (although I wasn't pregnant) but set up a temporary one in another room so it can be done.

All I had was a microwave oven and mini fridge and camping stove for about 3 years.

I would just make sure that you give the baby lots of fresh fruit and veg so the only preparation is chopping, plus breadsticks and bread or toast to chew on. You could store these in plastic boxes in one of the rooms which have been done up.

Haven't rtft sorry....

How about a steamer? You can plug it in and cook veg and chicken or fish all at the same time. So carrot fingers, sugar snap peas, baby corn, salmon, chicken breast.

I don't plan to use jars or packets as will do baby led weaning so DS will have what we have. But while i don't consider them to be poison, your little one needs to learn to eat solid food before next year.

Evening all,

We've had a few reports about this thread and just wanted to stop by to ask people to go easy on the OP. It seems to many of us that she's doing the best she can for her baby in very trying circumstances, so we'd be really grateful if some posters could be a bit less harsh.

Thanks to everyone who's offered practical advice and support here. There are lots of very useful suggestions and the OP's taking them all on board.

Many thanks.

Rather than buying lots of gadgets, maybe an 8 in 1 would be good?

www.robertdyas.co.uk/jml-go-chef?istCompanyId=bf3344d9-83f5-4abd-b69a-da131f7567d1&istItemId=ixmqpqllm&istBid=tzrr&gclid=CJ2MpIK1jsoCFSUewwodzEQAtA

GoChef is the incredible 8-in-1 cooker to boil, sauté, fry, slow cook, steam, bake, roast and make fondue – all in one bowl.

Omg just because a poster is critical of an op doesn't mean she's being a bitch!

I have honest genuine concerns about a child living in unsuitable conditions.

with parents who aren't prioritising the right things

Lifhtbulb you accused her of neglect for renovating her kitchen.

right, mould is a huge problem. so a room where the baby sleeps 12 hours at night and at least an.hour or two a day was cleaned and made safe first.

and given people can't spend their entire time in a babies bedroom of course living room was done.

babies are on milk at first and alternatives are available after.

as other posters have given their stories. ot can and is possible without a kitchen. hard. but possible

Lightbulb

You are going on about neglect. It's the kitchen

I have no tap in kitchen!!! Upstairs has cold water. Heating via wood burner

You are going on about neglect and fearing for her.

You are not helpful just critical

All you seem to want to do is make me sound like an awful mother

Piratepoo never seen that I'm going to look into it thank you

My a lot of first world judging going on - OP has 3 lovely rooms, heat via a wood burning stove, running tap water, indoor plumbing, a fridge, food (whatever you think of the exact type), access to HV/medical care.....child neglect FFS!? I say that as a child protection worker by the by. The child would have only started weaning 4 weeks ago and first foods are generally what OPs already providing....fresh fruit, baby cereal etc.

it's an uncomfortable arrangement for the OP but hardly unmanageable or child abuse.

Slow cookers are amazing.

If you search for recipes on here there are lots of threads with great ideas.

Ignore people being judgemental and awful. She has only been weaning for a short while and with all the ideas on here you will be fine. People love an opportunity to hoik their judgey pants upload.

Sorry if you've covered this, but do you have a fridge? If not,I'd stick one in the living room.

There is a good fb group called something like Slow Cooked Wonders for ideas. They can cook anything in a slow cooker those obsessives

Blimey there is some grim stuff on this thread - just wanted to say to the op that there is a lot of support and friendliness to be had on MN, so don't leave. Blow a raspberry and stick 2 fingers up at some of the more judgemental posters.

2 of my German friends fed their babies almost entirely from jars, and found dd1 and 2 throwing spaghetti around hilarious. I don't know if this was a cultural thing, but both their children were healthy and eat the same stuff my 2 do.

When we had ds we were moved out of a very mouldy house because it was deemed unfit for the dcs -sorting this out would definitely be a priority.

We are 7 years in to a similar project. We started the kitchen when our twins were 6 months, so weaned in a makeshift kitchen and lived with no kitchen for about 3 months.

We set up a temporary kitchen in what was the study. An old dining table with the fridge next to it provided a worktop, and boxes under the table stored the pots/crocks/food etc. On the top we had a kettle, microwave, toaster (and if I had to do it again I would add a slow cooker!). We washed up in a washing up bowl filled from the cold tap in the downstairs loo and the kettle. Poured the used washing up water down the downstairs loo!

I used jars/packets for one meal per day, and made toast/porridge for breakfast plus batch-cooked stew/bolognaise with rice/pasta/microwaved jacket potato for the other meals. I batch cooked by preparing the stew ingredients in the makeshift kitchen and then cooking it in the old cooker that was still connected in the building-site kitchen. If you can't have an oven, then cook the stew in a slow cooker. I cooked rice and pasta on the hob in the building site too, but you could buy microwave rice/pasta or batch cook it at MIL and then freeze it.

As others have said, I would make sure to include cheese/ham/crackers/banana slices/breadsticks/boiled veg/scrambled eggs as finger food alongside jars. And if you can set something up like I describe above, then you'll be mostly fully functional :) The addition of the cooker/hob combination linked to from Coopers of Stortford would be a massive bonus.

Good luck with the renovations. We were drastically slowed down by the arrival of our twins, but every new room you finish really does improve life, and you'll get there eventually :)

I think that the big thing that your baby is missing out on is "texture". Discovering that cooked carrots are soft (and great for mushing in hair!) but raw carrots are hard (and great for hurty teeth) etc.

Loads of people have given you really good ideas - I can't really help with them - I'm not a great cook - but I did baby led weaning with my two so can think of some things that are good finger foods that don't require much cooking. (Cos I'm not great at cooking!)

Cheese on toast - cut into soldiers. Toast in toaster. Put cheese on. Stick in microwave for 30 secs.
Pasta - starch boils at about 80 degrees so you just need to put in hot water and leave it - bit slower but it will cook.
Cucumber sticks - great for texture play - mushy bit and a hard bit.
Lots of veg can be steamed in a microwave.
Crackers / breadsticks / rice cakes.
Slices / sticks of cheese.
Slices / sticks of cold chicken. (Ham is a bit salty for teeny ones I think but chicken generally ok.)
Bits of chopped up fruit.

I don't think it matters if your dd has some jars - but if you have other options then that will make life nicer for all of you.

I would do jar/packet 'breakfast' (fruity porridge, baby muesli, baby rice and purée or whatever you fancy) and then some finger fruit for a snack, then lunch I would try finger foods and snacks (eg eggs/toast/crumpets/fruit/veg and Houmus as they get older/ potato/ sandwich/baby crisps(sweet corn rings or whatever they are now)/raisins/ Pitta bread/ mini ready cooked sausages (won't kill them v occasionally) Google for other ideas etc. Then maybe a baby yoghurt or rice pudding in the afternoon and a jar dinner.

My two were on this and both eat like healthy oxes now. I believe it's mostly scaremongering by bloody lentil weavers!! They like sweets because they are children, but both eat plenty of other foods like veg and whole meal home cooked food Now...

You've bought a home. You have plans to make it a lovely home for your family. It's just going to take time.

As a long term private renter (through circumstance not choice) I doubt I'll ever get on the property ladder. I think your child having a permanent home is a major positive. How many threads on MN are about rubbish landlords, mouldy damp rental properties or long waiting lists for social housing?

I didn't use MN when dd (now 16) was a baby. I used a lot of jars as I was a bit clueless and tbh most of my friends and family did the same. The lovely finger food ideas are great and I wish I'd been more imaginative.

There is some great advice on this thread. Copy and paste the best posts and ignore the negatives.

If you're in W Sussex you can borrow my kitchen to do some batch cooking!

Do you have space to buy one of them big caravans?

*Passive
*
Nice suggestion but not practical plus rest of house lovely. Like I say boiler being plumbed in this year (Feb) so hot water will be up and running.

Thanks Thorne but not in area

There are some great suggestions I'm looking into a couple of them.

I now have ideas of what to prepare.

Please please please can posters stop suggesting Campinggaz stoves or (as one person has) a BBQ. Both these are incredibly dangerous, unless you are anticipating the OP taking her baby into the garden every day to cook for her. This includes the two ring camping gas hobs. The give off a lot of carbon monoxide and should only ever be used in places with extremely good ventilation (like outdoors in a field).

That said, my first kitchen consisted of a small kitchen table with one of [[http://www.currys.co.uk/gbuk/household-appliances/cooking/cookers/belling-baby-121r-electric-tabletop-cooker-white-19765669-pdt.html?gclid=CK-QjZfJjsoCFcE_GwodNxME9A&srcid=198&cmpid=ppc~gg~~~Exact&mctag=gg_goog_7904&s_kwcid=AL!3391!3!83593125924!!!g!140595697284!&ef_id=VoF3VQAABZBqWazX:20160103212029:s]]on top. and a fridge underneath. I did have to stand on a chair to use the hob though!

Bah - shortcut fail. Try [[http://www.currys.co.uk/gbuk/household-appliances/cooking/cookers/belling-baby-121r-electric-tabletop-cooker-white-19765669-pdt.html]]

Right, my computer is being weird. Sorry.

Well said oakmaiden! It does seem to need reiterating.

Oakmaiden - is this the link you were trying to post?