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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

despairing, how often does a newborn feed at night?

44 replies

Havalina1 · 18/10/2015 04:01

On our fifth feed of the night. Feeling like I'm being tortured. Not getting more than one hour / 50 mins sleep between feeding sessions. He's only three weeks old.

OH is telling me he must be too hungry and maybe we need to use bottles. He's put on weight, and sleeps long stretches during the day, so I dunno. But what do I know. At my wits end sleep deprived.

What's normal? ConfusedEnvy

OP posts:
CultureSucksDownWords · 18/10/2015 04:15

Unfortunately it is pretty normal, night feeds stimulate milk supply and your baby is doing just that. With breastfeeding all the hard work is concentrated in the early days, but it does honestly get easier as they grow and get bigger.

I don't know if you've found the Kellymom site, but I found it a helpful resource:

kellymom.com/hot-topics/newborn-nursing/

Jenijena · 18/10/2015 04:20

Congratulations on your new baby Flowers

Not a bfing expert (apart from having done it myself) but didn't want to read and run...

The truth is that anything at this point is 'normal' but cluster feeding for hours at this time of the day and at this age is very much in the 'normal experience' for breastfeeding mums. It's about establishing and building up your supply and is likely to go on for a little while longer, but a three week growth spurt (ie eating lots more) is 'a thing' that many will recognise.

It is a killer, but I promise it won't last.,it doesn't mean you haven't got 'enough' milk but is about regulating the milk you supply you have for the future. One day fairly soon you'll realise you do not have that 'full' feeling (and probably feel you haven't enough milk) which will mark a next stage in bfing...

Original poster
Havalina1 · 18/10/2015 04:36

Thanks for replying, he is still feeding, I'm a bit more awake now. Just the last two nights have been the exact same and around his time I fall asleep on him while feeding Confused and I've woken up with good him tucked into my armpit. I don't like co sleeping by by the second feed of the night he won't go into the side sleeper so it's the bed or screaming.

I read that article last night also I guess I need some reassurance this isn't going to go on forever... it feels like if it does I'll go nuts. He feeds way way less during the day, has he still to work out night and day?? He has huge Long sleeps during the day in his rocker chair.

Thanks again! Sorry I sound so grumpy

OP posts:
jobrum · 18/10/2015 04:43

Mine fed constantly. A lot of cluster feeds in the evening, many many feeds during the night. I remember it being so lonely and wondered if I'd ever sleep again. Or even get to lie down in bed! But it starts to get easier, their stomachs get bigger, they begin to sleep for longer stretches. My dd is now 9 months and I'm up feeding her, sometimes she wakes a few times a night, often just once and occassionally sleeps a full 12 hours and I honestly miss our lovely quiet night feeds!

Have a look at sites like kellymom and read about why newborns feed how they do and reassure yourself that its perfectly normal. And a quick search on mumsnet will show you that you are not the only one awake and feeding a baby, wondering if you are doing it right!

CultureSucksDownWords · 18/10/2015 04:47

Can you feed lying down? It can be a little better than sitting up, although I never quite got the hang of it. Are you able to sleep in the day when your DS is napping?

It does seem relentless, but you will (quite soon) get to a point where it's a lot lot easier.

mappemonde · 18/10/2015 04:52

I remember it well - it sounds v much like my experiences. Both mine cluster fed constantly in the evenings and night. By dd2 I had adapted our sleeping arrangements so I could feed lying down and sleep in between. Ot feels like forever bit is a few weeks at most. Hang on in there, you're doing a great job.

deuscat · 18/10/2015 04:53

Totally normal. The mixed up night and day thing is also part of it ime. Try getting out in the fresh air every afternoon to help with that.

It does get easier. Honestly, it does.

deuscat · 18/10/2015 04:56

Also, sometimes babies wake for comfort and closeness to mum. Remember, your baby has just spent 9 months living in complete comfort within you. The outside world is scary and mum is familiar and safe. It's natural for them to want to be in your arms.

jaffajiffy · 18/10/2015 05:01

I'm ahead by two weeks and it's already better, so it won't be long if you can hang in there. There's more prolactin in the early hours so that's why it's worse then. Your milk supply will respond so conversely giving formula may not be helpful. You could wake him every two hours in the day to feed so he's good and tired at night, but it really does even out on its own. My DS is awake for the second time now and sleeps reliably in between. I know it feels interminable. It's awful. But it does settle and this frequent feeding will return dividends in the weeks to come.
Congrats on your DS! Aren't they lovely?!

Sparrowlegs248 · 18/10/2015 08:10

I had a stretch of about two weeks at this stage that were just awful, coupled with DS not napping well so i couldn't sleep inthe daytime.

He's 12 weeks now and first wakes at 3.30am which is bliss! He is on my bed though and we feed laying down.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 18/10/2015 08:12

It depends on the newborn. DD1, every 3 hours ish at night. DD2 fed almost constantly at night for the first 4 weeks. I had to learn the art of breastfeeding lying down and dozing while she fed. It's not as simple as them being hungry, night feeding stimulates supply.

Fugghetaboutit · 18/10/2015 08:14

Sounds normal

annandale · 18/10/2015 08:19

Just to say that if he's jaundiced make sure you get more advice, but if he's gaining weight it sounds like you're growing a normal baby. I'd say don't be tempted to do too much in the day yourself when he's sleeping, for sure try and get a bit of fresh air and wake him a bit, but make sure you hunker down for rest too.

katienana · 18/10/2015 08:20

Very very normal. It is really tiring so try to sleep in the daytime too. I think by 6 weeks things will be better. I remember DS stopped pooing in the night around then so we didn't have to wake up as much to deal with it.
Google safe Co sleeping and try sleeping in your dressing gown if you need the duvet further down the bed.

Wigeon · 18/10/2015 08:26

Normal. Bloody awful though. Doesn't indicate he needs bottles. Definitely doesn't last forever. Can you feed him as much as possible during the day? At any slight sign he might be hungry? Don't attempt any kind of day time feeding schedule.

Defenderwife · 18/10/2015 08:26

It's grim I know but it gets easier! I remember being almost unable to talk I was so exhausted. Hideous.

VocationalGoat · 18/10/2015 08:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WheresMyBurrito · 18/10/2015 08:50

My DD is 21 weeks but I do remember 3 weeks being absolutely brutal. I cried pretty much every day thinking I couldn't do it.

But, just to show you that things do get better: last night she slept 9-3:30, and went off again until 5:30. Sadly then she did think it was playtime - but things will get better and you will get more sleep!

In the meantime take it easy, look after yourself, and try not to worry too much Flowers do you have Facebook? I know there are some local La Leche League groups on there. Mine has been an invaluable source of support when things have been tough.

LostInMess · 18/10/2015 09:41

Congrats on your baby, OP, hope you're resting now. Does sound very normal, my DS is 4 weeks tomorrow and had been cluster feeding from 5-10pm every eve before conking out for 3-4 hrs (yay!) and then feeding hourly or so after that. 4 days ago, he changed to having an hour's sleep in the evening and is now feeding most of the night. Having had other DC who I co-slept with, not all of whom have quite given up joining is during the night (3 yr old DS, am looking at you!), I was trying to avoid it but have caved in now and just bring him in and feed lying down so I can doze - can you feed on your side? I am always struck at how little you move, there's clearly something built in that stops you moving. And I feel it's safer than falling asleep sitting up which is what kept happening, even if I got up and fed in the chair.

am heartened by those saying it gets better soon, fingers crossed that it does. Best of luck and do rest whenever you can. x

Original poster
Havalina1 · 18/10/2015 10:45

It's unreal how better i feel just hearing from others! Thanks everyone for taking the time to reply Smile

As a poster said, it's nearly 11 now and it's a distant memory - til tonight again Hmm

I sound like a first time mum but I have a Dd who is not yet two and I fed her til 9mo. But I can't remember a thing in how I did it! I was so read up on everything ... But that said at her 2 week gp check up the doc said she was not gaining eighth and sent me off to get her started on formula that day, which I did. I ripped up for the next 9 months but never managed to ditch the formula out of the picture. I really don't want to get into that again.

Great suggestions re getting out in the afternoon to help him adjust - will do that.

Lying down feeding - I'm a bit hit and miss with it I find it can be quite uncomfortable for me, need to figure it out a bit more. I've clearly got a lot of googling to do!!

Ahh baby crying I have to dash - I wanted to write a proper reply, will do later!

Thanks again!

OP posts:
deuscat · 18/10/2015 12:11

Glad you're feeling reassured OP. Make sure you fit in some rest today if you can. And go to bed as early as possible to get some sleep in before the night feeds starts up again.

Sparrowlegs248 · 19/10/2015 05:58

Glad you feel better OP. Re feeding laying down, this is how i do it. I lay on my left side with my back to the edge. Baby on his side facing me. My left arm is either above his head or tucked under my pillow. I poke left breast at him and that's that! For right breast I get into more of a recovery position.

Small books if that makes a difference. When he was smaller (he's 12weeks now) I would lay him on top of a feeding pillow to raise hi. up a bit.

thenewaveragebear1983 · 19/10/2015 06:07

I have posted on this exact topic this week, my baby is 3 weeks tomorrow. He's clustered through the night since day 2 and it's so exhausting! Last night DH gave him expressed milk just so I could get long enough to have a bath in peace. I have never experienced cluster feeding with my other 2 babies, but having said that, I have never managed to BF so successfully with my others either. Hang in there! I'm not sure what the current advice is re: expressing milk at this stage, but it helped us yesterday. It won't last forever xx

WheresMyBurrito · 19/10/2015 06:47

I think the advice is not to express until supply is established - around 6 weeks - but I didn't wait that long, I needed some time to sleep and for DH to take over for a bit!

cheekyfunkymonkey · 19/10/2015 06:54

Sounds like you're doing really well. It does sound normal to me. Hang in there and embrace Netflix! Saved me when breastfeeding through long nights!!

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