Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

despairing, how often does a newborn feed at night?

44 replies

Havalina1 · 18/10/2015 04:01

On our fifth feed of the night. Feeling like I'm being tortured. Not getting more than one hour / 50 mins sleep between feeding sessions. He's only three weeks old.

OH is telling me he must be too hungry and maybe we need to use bottles. He's put on weight, and sleeps long stretches during the day, so I dunno. But what do I know. At my wits end sleep deprived.

What's normal?

OP posts:

AnyoneButAndre · 19/10/2015 06:57

It is so so grim but I honestly believe that getting them out in the daylight as much as possible (easier said than done this time of year) and waking them at every 2 hours in the daytime for a feed will help them work out the difference between day and night sooner than later. This too shall pass OP.

sianihedgehog · 19/10/2015 07:15

Normal, I'm afraid, BUT it won't be like that all the time. There's a feedback loop between how much your baby nurses and how much milk you make. Every so often, your baby has a growth spurt and needs more milk than you were producing before. To get ready for the growth spurt, they start cluster feeding (which means basically feeding very frequently without long sleeps between feeds). The frequent feeds make your body start to make more milk, so when the growth spurt comes there is plenty there for baby. Ignore your OH, he's completely wrong, and starting to feed from a bottle when your baby is cluster feeding messes up that feedback loop - your body doesn't get the message to make more milk, so there isn't extra milk ready when baby grows.

If your baby is gaining weight well the very best thing you can do for both baby and you is to just keep feeding on demand and know that in a few days the cluster feeding will usually pass and you'll still never need to piss about with the enormous faff of using formula. :)

My baby did a bunch of cluster feeding at about the same age, and it passed after a few days and he was back to sleeping for several hours at a stretch. He has had several more periods of cluster feeding and they ARE shit, but it's very much "this too shall pass".

Rinceoir · 19/10/2015 08:12

Cluster feeding is so tough isn't it. I remember frantically googling "how to stop cluster feeds" when my DD was around 3 weeks old. I tried her with expressed milk but even at 3 weeks she knew what she wanted, and it wasn't a bottle! It does get easier, and it passes. As others have said I would encourage lots of walks/exposure to light during the day. Feed as often as possible in the day- mine did every 90mins-2 hours at that age with a cluster in the evenings. Her cluster feeds gradually got earlier and shorter (have no idea if that was due to being out and feeding lots in the day or just natural progression). By 5 weeks she was sleeping a reasonable stretch at night, and was doing 11-6 by 8 weeks.

Original poster

Havalina1 · 20/10/2015 10:14

Thanks to the new posters who replied - well it's getting a little better but still we are not sleeping at night. He feeds, but wakes when I take him off me to lay him down - so I have to feed all over again to resettle him! I still haven't got him out in the daylight enough so starting today that's the plan. And to rouse him every two hours.

I still haven't cracked the lying down feeds. I do it as one poster described, exact same, but I end up so stiff holding that position (arm over baby head, me on my side).... My 22mo is kicking off at night screaming to come down to our room and see "babeeeey" so while baby finally slept last night, the elder was keeping us up last night

But it is getting a bit better!

OP posts:

DrCoconut · 20/10/2015 10:29

I second feeding lying down. Against peoples advice about spoiling etc I bring DS3 in with me and just feed. He is nearly 3 weeks old. I did it with my others too.

Skiptonlass · 20/10/2015 11:30

Feeding lying down has saved my sanity! My two week old cluster feeds and I've also had a few nights where I've nearly cracked and gone for formula!

You do get a bit stiff but I find the key is to get comfy before you latch them on - really comfy as you can get , because you'll be in that position for a while!

I never liked the idea of co sleeping and I'm still nervous about it but he sleeps do much better in with us!

We have a big bed so dh takes one third and ds and I the other two thirds. ee have put out pillows lower down the bed, and are just using a sheet to cover us. The baby lies on a blanket in a gro bag so I can just pull him down towards me if he wakes.

I do want to get him in his crib but he was a few weeks early and the advice I got in hospital was to keep him as close as poss for a few weeks. He's a pretty chilled little guy (slept 1am to 8am with one feed in the middle last night) so I've just gone with the flow ;)

Keep on in there - cluster feeding is hellish but it's for a reason! Get your partner to do changes and keep you stocked with snacks and drinks and drinks, and get some form of distraction for you - book, Internet, phone games or whatever.

The best bit of advice I've had so far this week (from a friend with two very chilled out kids) is "everything is a phase." :)

Original poster

Havalina1 · 20/10/2015 12:12

When you're feeding lying down do you move them afterwards? I keep falling asleep doing it and that's what freaks me out a little.

OP posts:

Sparrowlegs248 · 20/10/2015 16:38

I don't move DS after. I guess it depends how 'aware' you are in your sleep (if that makes sense......) and whether you move. I used to be a real fidget in bed but now i stay in one place no trouble. Maybe some sort of instinct.....

Yes do get comfy, and quilt etc organised before you latch on. Against the advice i do have a quilt, baby on top of it and my lower arm also on top kind of pinning it down. Then i tuck it under me so the baby can't get tangled in it (the bit between me and baby)

I sometimes put a cushion behind him then my upper arm can go over him and rest on it (so it doesn't squash him)

just make sure you are comfy and he is in a safe position then if you fall asleep there isn't a problem.

I like to leave a dim light on or the landing light so if i wake i can immediately see him.

Sparrowlegs248 · 20/10/2015 16:41

Thinking about it then DS was very small he would lay across my body to feed, belly down with me propped up on pillows.But i was always worried about falling asleep in case he fell off.

sianihedgehog · 20/10/2015 17:10

I never moved DS when he finished. I usually fell asleep first, tbh.

Original poster

Havalina1 · 20/10/2015 20:45

Sorry yes I meant when I'm feeding him and holding him - I'm half slouched down and he sleeps on me straight after the feed. If I fall asleep then I worry he will fall off ( but the reality is neither of us seems to budge). And if I feed him lying down I don't move him after but it's me that falls asleep leaning over him. I don't fidget but I'm so whacked tired at 4am that's it's a coma sleep I fall into!

OP posts:

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 20/10/2015 20:51

The only way I got through the first 2 weeks with DD2 was feeding/sleeping lying down. She would latch on at 7pm and not unlatch until 7am! I got comfy, latched her on and dozed all night, occasionally swapping sides.

iMatter · 20/10/2015 20:57

Agree with others - it's totally normal. I bought one of those horseshoe shaped feeding pillows and slept on that all night slightly propped up so when the DC woke I just latched them on and slept whilst they fed. My wonderful dh changed their nappies at night if necessary so I tried to doze through the whole thing.

I promise this stage will soon be a distant memory.

Original poster

Havalina1 · 21/10/2015 21:05

iMatter - god I hope so!

OP posts:

LilacRain · 22/10/2015 06:35

My DS is 6weeks and feeds on average at 10pm, 1am, 4am though a few weeks ago he was feeding every couple of hours all night. I give him expressed breastmilk at night as it's quicker and easier than putting him on breast... he takes an hour at the breast but can drain a 150ml bottle in 10mins, and he sleeps longer after a bottle. I recommend expressing, DH often does the 1am feed so I can get some more sleep. I started expressing when he was 3days old with an electric pump.

Dixiechick17 · 22/10/2015 08:55

I used to always feed lying down. I made sure my head was on a pillow to make it more comfortable for me and arm over the top of my DD's head. I didn't do the whole co sleeping thing because it freaked me out a little and would browse the internet whilst feeding in a desperate attempt to stay awake.

As others said, it does get easier. Some of my friends used to lightly warm the moses basket or crib with a hot water bottle so that the baby would settle better after a feed. I used to place DD on the bed next to me gently and then if still asleep transfer her slowly to her crib, all a bit of a mission, we also relied heavily on Euan the dream sheep to settle her.

Every baby is different and you will find something that works for you. Those first few weeks are so tough, but it gets easier :)

Original poster

Havalina1 · 22/10/2015 14:30

The more I think of it the problem is settling him after a feed. That's where it's going wrong and that's what has me up all night! Last night I fed him lying down and somehow he ended up almost on his tum, so I turned him, and bam, he woke up. So had to feed again to get him to doze off.

I've bought a Sleepyhead thingee on eBay and if that helps with settling him I will .. well I don't know what I'll do, sleep probably!

All that said I'm so bonkers about him I'm in some weird way loving faxing at his kilo type head in the bed with me.

And bigger sis has obliged by sleeping in 1.5 hours the last two mornings - that's unheard of. She is up at 6 like a lark every day, you could set your watch to her.

Baby sleep hugely in the morning through til noon, so I know he can sleep.

Definitely feeling better about it all. Thanks for the encouragement!

OP posts:

Original poster

Havalina1 · 22/10/2015 14:31

Faxing at his kilo... Jesus my typos!! "Gazing at his little head" is what it should read!

OP posts:

Dixiechick17 · 22/10/2015 17:04

I've got a sleepyhead and it has been brilliant for me, on the odd occasion she is on the bed with me she will be in her sleepyhead. I notice sometimes that I am trying to put her down ever so gently to the point that I over try. When I am quicker and more fluid with putting her down I am generally more successful. I always bring her up to my shoulder after a feed, she sleeps their for a few minutes then I lean over and lower her down into the sleepyhead. I used to also swaddle her in a muslin before a feed so that she was already cosy when I put her down.

Flip

1 2